a devilish friend who laughs with me in the early morning hours,
reminding me of things I have yet to do.
Ask her my name and she will sing a song of a decades march
Ask her my story and a third person will emerge from the outside
Another me, ask it if it can find its way home
I'm tired, I have so much to do
Self hatred can only erupt,
There is another me that loves myself.
It asks to be my only friend.
It responds only to bitter tongue;
Just like it was taught.
Ask me if I'm tired and I will always respond yes,
it's only conditional
Ask me if I'm sick and I'll tell you how much I think
analogies about shoving pens in my eye sockets
I am a self-hating narcissist.
I believe I need no help, yet find obscure ways to punish myself when I can't do it alone
And the other me knows I'm a liar, and it fucking loves it.
It loves the drama, it lives off of it
Let's it define a meaning
Without it I am nothing.
I am so tired of feeling emotions that hinge on the fact that I spend most of my time numb.