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lua 1d
you sound like a dream
one that i've locked inside my head
the one with flying unicorns
and laser beams
and cotton candy trees
but the one with thunder and lightning
and a ring of flames
in the middle of a meadow
where the fires ate everything it touched
and spat out nothing but a blackened husk
it's the one where prince charming falls off his high horse
and into the abyss
the one where rapunzel chops off her hair
the one where mermaids exist to be feasted upon
by hungry sailors
you sound like a nightmare.
your demons still haunt me,
they show up in my sleep

they creep into my mind at night,
coming to remind me of your existence

you send them, so you can still possess a side of me

they replay all the **** you did to me,

they whisper (laugh),
“you can never get rid of me darling”

you truly are the devil, aren’t you?
It's never clear to me where the dreams begin and
where the memories begin
but I know they both begin
to make sense after the first dozen times and
then once they make sense they cease to be interesting and
begin to bore me and
so I focus on waking up to both and
setting both feet on the cold stone floor where the **** and
the puke has already dripped through the cracks left
by the dance leaving a dry yellow stain just so
I know for sure I'm home and
not still in the in-between domain. And
I try to recall the detail but fail again,
so I start a new story where I'm the hero and
not a victim this time and
where there's no need for heroes cos everyone is in
a cooperative mood which makes me mad
- what's the point of a hero when
there's no heroism called for
- which makes me wonder who
called me here at this time of the night
when crows and bulldogs are the only ones awake and
are the only creatures who care about the size of the moon, oh and
me of course, so what's
that make me? some cross between a black arts symbol and
a patriot looking for a fight to justify the distrust and
anger I feel about the world

- blast and ******, I need a *** and
I need to puke so I lay back down, curl into my fetal and
let nature do it's worse. The warmth soothes me at first, but
soon enough the chill takes hold and
I wonder when mum will come and
tell me it's time for school.

The answer is exactly 30 seconds later and
as usual she notices nothing,
so imagination it is then
- not such a blessing then,
despite what the teacher said.
reworking a stream on consciousness to give it more of a handle
mind races at night as of
late, eyes ache and i am
uncomfortably warm;
covers on and off,
hourly trips to the bathroom
just to break up my night
of turning and tossing,
thinking and dozing
but never sleeping.
aching with starvation and
frustration it’s
hard not to groan into
my pillow
and i squint at a
screen for a few minutes
yearning for a distraction but
no one is there.
too late: 1, 2, 3,
4 o’clock and the sun’s already
shining through my sheer
cream curtains.
feels like a trap, like a room with
no doors or windows
but it’s ever so bright.
my hair is tousled and damp with
sweat, dreams are black and
last no longer
than blinking.
Eva May 20
Auschwitz
The raging sun burned the tip of my freshly shaven scalp.
Once bright brown shoes, were now worn out rags.
Shots.
Screams.
Hope kept us going,
luck kept us alive.
Days turned into awfully dreaded weeks.
My desire for water was the only thing on my mind.
The sorness in my throat was unbearable from thirst.
The nauseous heat choked me-
carving more blisters onto my body.
The haunting sign hung over our heads
"Arbeit Macht Frei"
Oh God...
Is this a nightmare?
Luna May 20
How many nights you've been
Turned and tossed in the confines of your sheets
So the lunacy of your nightmares
Won't push you in the world of insanity
Gerdlie May 19
I feel like Im holding my breath
Again
And I don't know how much longer I can go without breathing
But these are unfamiliar waters

What am I waiting for
Why am I here

Thrashing and Screaming
In the dark, deep, deadly sea

I need some air
Crystal Freda May 16
I saw you in a hotel room
on vacation with your family.
You saw me with painful eyes
and walked away angry.

My heart sagged like a bag of flour
as you desperately flew by.
I guess you didn't have the audacity
to come and at least say hi.

Later on, you run into me again
in your blue striped polo.
Your hazel eyes breezed into mine
and they did not let go.

His eyes scarred with hurt as he said
"I have really missed you."
We embraced firmly as I inhaled
the soft smells of his polo so blue.

I woke up to my empty and purple room
knowing you are gone from me.
Having to remember every day
that was just a dream, not reality.
Its one of those days again
Nothing's right
Nothing's ever fine
Every little thing exists to annoy
Every other I want to destroy
This never ending tunnel
With darker twists ahead
Am I living the nightmare?
Or stuck in this absurd reality?
it howls back at me
it howls back at me, darling

darling, why didn’t you save my babies?
I warned you about the line of ants
so many times

did my babies cry too loud?
could our neighbours hear them?
were you too busy begging?
asking more from the goddess of wealth,
fortune and virility?

here I write this poem for our little ones
like medieval poets
with a candle on my left, near my heart
and blood rouge wine on my right
where few ants are still left
and I might not **** them

did my babies cry too loud?
could our neighbours hear them?
were you too busy begging?
you know, darling, if your prayers –
are answers tonight
no praying hands are going to ask for mercy
from lord again, ever

I know there’s a moon shining too bright
doing its utmost to come closer to me
but a hideous humongous building stands between us
wrecked and damaged, yet too tall
monstrous, too haunted
helpless like us
too nightmarish
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