my mother hoisted my hospital bed to the top of the tower she said i could use some sunlight little did she know the sun would burn and i wouldn’t be able to scream
i felt like writing about my dreams. i’ve always been a vivid dreamer and often have nightmares and can wake up affected by them. this piece is about a dream i had recently where i had a cardiovascular attack and what happened after. i woke up in tears.
I was woken up by a nightmare. I woke up in the middle of the night when I had fallen asleep and a poem was finished. The silence makes the painting in the air I breathe, feel heavy, feel suffocating. My throat is dry. And on such a thirsty night, a poem ordered an inkbox and a piece of paper, and I ordered a bottle of beer and a cigarette and also a lighter, and night ordered
itself for me.
Indonesia, 29th December 2021 Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
There is still hope to escape from the nightmare and anxiety that haunts the wild nights, I had been spending all night by writing those feelings on the cold and damp walls, and I think that we are one of those who need warmth in love and life.
And here I think that the poems let me speak for those who have no voice.
Indonesia, 21st December 2021 Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
In dreams, I've lived. In life, I'll die. In dreams, I get to say "hello" again. In life, I have to say goodbye. In dreams, I'm not afraid. But in life, I'm terrified. Terrified of what I don't know. What I can't see. Terrified I won't be who I'm meant to be. But what if that's by design? What if dreams are visions of heaven and nightmares visions of hell? I could sit here forever hypothesizing, so I'll leave you with one final thought. We tell each other to follow our dreams. If dreams are visions of heaven, maybe all of our failures, our efforts, are not for naught.
What is this? Why would you do this? It's just a dream, But it just, No it isn't real. It all lines up, No I'm going insane. I need answers, No I want answers. Insanity will drive you mad, Don't think to hard, You know it was a dream, It was just people close to you. Maybe with a secret, But why not just tell me, I could care less, I want your happiness. So what if he's my best friend, So what if she was my crush. I do just believe it was just, Betrayal of a dream. My own betrayal, My own dream.