I have a recurring dream
Settle down
I'll set the scene

An old house I'm renovating
Quite large with many rooms

Outside the garden needs tending
A fishpond with murky water
Broken statue
Needs mending

There's a feeling of foreboding
I try to ignore this
Concentrate on the work
One day it will be
A fine holding

There's a cupboard that's hard to find
You can climb right inside
To a shaft leading down
A
Long
Way
Down
Once you reach the bottom
There's a tunnel
That goes straight ahead
Taking a walk down
I start to forget
It's small things to start
But the further I go
More is forgotten
I'm compelled to carry on
But where do I stop?
Until I've forgotten who I am?
Until I've forgotten how to turn back!
How far can I push forward?
Each time
I try to go
Another step
Forward
Then
One
Last
Thought
Is
Left
TURNAROUND

Each step back
Brings a memory back
It's at this point
I awake

Every time I return
The renovation
Has progressed
Fish now swim
In clear water of the pond

The feeling of foreboding
Is lessening
Birds outside
Now singing

But
That cupboard is still
Hard to find
I know
If of the mind
Could find
And one more time......

In a wicked twilight- I had dreamt a suicidal dream, roaming
around deserted lands; screaming within. As every tear drop
was just a dew drop watering the lands; I once envisioned
as a blank page of life- those colours drained away.

My smile is covered in the ink of a tear; as I wondered if I
could catch them running quick- flowing to the pavement by
every blink. Soon after the rain-washed the days, everything I
once seen, became so, so, so bleak.

I caved into the arms of someone- her flush pink cheeks
injected the clouds with their colours, that you could pick
apart. Sealing the pit of despair in a glass jar, stealing from
time a lingering kiss, to scatter wide and far.

Hoping that this time, this time I won’t find comfort in
an element that burns in time's fire. Scorching my soul to
the ends of longing to meet death again.

            Till I realized, I wasn’t dreaming at all.

Whirling vortex; -
I stalked a dream so smooth-tongued,
every whisper of it, had an attention to its
words- intentions to look so divine.

And for a fleeting choice of the moment,
I faintly enjoyed the lie.

Once, the static in my brain
Aligned so perfectly with the rushing in my veins
That it became central to my consciousness.
Perceived by my ears as an ever-rising crescendo,
My heart swelled, radiating pin-****** - painfully,
Down to my fingertips.
I was immobilized by dread,
And capitulation to fear was imminent,
As I realized the presence
Of an unwelcome and terminal essence;
It was striving for control, unwilling to settle for less.
I at first tried to fight- but the hold was too strong;
My limbs were too weak to fend for myself,
My mind too frantic to offer help -
So I accommodated instead, and ever since.

You were enchanted by the mystery,
You thought it was love and pursued me.
Been excited to discover every part of me.
Touched me like a book, what an interesting story it could be.

I am just ordinary,
people might see me as an old book that could not be understood easily.
I am just nobody,
but you brought me up to life where my existence has been saved from a tragedy.

You have stolen my heart that made my feelings to ramble.
'T was confusing...
and for a moment, I never thought that this will cause me to slumber.
'T was frightening...
A nightmare when we became lovers.

We both made this story, a fairytale.
In the end, it's ourselves that we fail.
Fantasizing each word, trying to mend the aching wounds.
It's not the sword that cuts, but the lies that's ripping us 'till we hear the rhythm of the heart that pounds.

I have never lived my life through your expectations.
Still, we tried to chase everybody at their romantic phase,
while being deceived by our own illusions
As I turned the page, showing fears that I couldn't face.

I laughed when you told me that, alone, I can write it beautifully.
like the songs with a perfect melody.
You think that tearing me apart could turn into a perfect art,
Leaving me afraid and lonely.

I was left there, hanging.
In every page, horrible scenarios are ranging
I was left there hoping,
Just in case there still be a happy ending.