I wish the ocean
took me away
washed me off shore
pushed me astray

I own a sea
of pure regret
things I wish
I could just forget

I am oceanic
dark and danger
you're floating
and just a stranger

I'm underwater
and high upstream
slowly disappearing
a silent scream

I will always be
out of reach
sinking, leaving
my empty beach


Monica 17h

I can't breath
It's too tight
I don't wanna be hanging here
It's so scratchy

How did I get here?
How did it come to this?
I'm not supposed to be here

Tug Tug Tug

Why won't it give?

I didn't think this through
I've got things to do
People to love

But instead
I've decided to hang here
And I don't want to anymore
But it looks like I have no choice

I can't breath
It's becoming so hard

Tug Tug Tug

Come on
Come on

I guess this is it
This twine
It was supposed to be my lifeline
To pull me out of this mess
But instead
It acts like an anchor
And drags me deeper

So this is the end I guess

Tell my family I love them
Tell my friends I love them
Tell my enemies I'm sorry
Tell them all to keep fighting

Good Night

Once in a lifetime
You'll meet that one in a million
And you can't help but drown
In such divine beauty and grace
Lost for words
with every move that she makes
Feels like I was falling deeper
This girl she was a keeper
Never thought I'd ever mistreat her

Oh honey can't stop
Crying over you
Straight from my heart
I'm breaking in two
Still, can't bear that I lost you
And memories of you
Are playing on repeat
All these thoughts
I can hardly sleep
Oh honey
Still crying over you

Everything fell,
went stone cold sour
Go through this situation
In my head for hours upon hours
How did we grow so close
Just to be torn apart
Words I should have left unspoken
We're put out in the open
And that's when we slid
into a constant fight
I'll never forget that night
Because I was so wrong,
And you were so right.

Oh honey can't stop
Crying over you
Straight from my heart
I'm breaking in two
Still, can't bear that I lost you
And memories of you
Are playing on repeat
All these thoughts
I can hardly sleep
Oh honey
Still crying over you

And it's here and now
I realise just how
much I messed up
If I could do it all again
You know I would
Let my insecurities
Get the better of me
Resulting in the hurtful words
I put you through
And I'll never forgive myself
for the hurt
I've caused inside of you
So much heartache
In watching your heartbreak

Oh honey can't stop
Crying over you
Straight from my heart
I'm breaking in two
Still, can't bear that I lost you
And memories of you
Are playing on repeat
All these thoughts
I can hardly sleep
Oh honey
Still crying over you

©2017 Written By Benji James

I met a boy
Mistook him for you
Toxin ran through my body
I resisted the urge to kiss him
Phil, Phil, Phil
The word upon my lips.
But he wasn't you.

Yet he asked if I was OK
He held me as I cried
Confused as to why
Each time I glanced up
I'd sob again.

Who is Phil?
He asks, so ignorant of
what he requests of me.

This boy, was kind.
With the same chosen name as I.
Clearer handwriting, less of an open mind.
Eventually, I knew he wasn't you.

I was sad so I got extremely drunk in a friends flat.

His head slunk into the headrest
in the window seat. A stark contrast
to the eager little engine he could see
clinging to the plane wing; rumbling
with childish excitement.

The trolley back and forth through the isle
a few times. He could wait no longer.
In his backpack a letter sat, with words
from the one he loved.
Hunching back down in his seat he slowly
and nervously unfolded it.
His inhales heavy at his gut,
where after scanning a few lines with his tired eyes,
his heart rocked against his rib cage.
He hadn't finished. He couldn't.
Folding it back up he hunched further forwards
with his head in his hands.

All the burdens of Atlas paled to the strain he felt,
everything dark and everything  a lead weight right now,
he wanted to read the letter to it's end.
Was he strong enough to keep it together.
He wasn't sure.

...He had too!

Opening the letter he continued.
Those last lines.
Tears ran to the exit, the damn walls had fallen.
Like a toddler with a stubbed toe he succumbed to a
hopeless chorus of wailing and sobs.

He was a King in his new life, a ruler of all he surveyed,
something he could never be at home.
Why did things have to fall apart?

Those last words ringing like a bell
as he lay there like a defeated adversary.
"I love you forever and always"

Lainey 3d

Erase the anguish
I caused in my thoughtlessness
If only I could

I was a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

You clothed me in scarlet
And my sin was my garment

Because I was once a harlot,
You knew at seducing, I was an artist.

I was a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

Because those ol' friends are so easy to bend
They came and they went, like our odds and ends.

My old friends, did you know she would steal your hearts?
She played the parts so well, she became your all, all on course.

I am a lonely stranger
On the side of the road

My friend was a lonely stranger, he never saw the danger.
On the side of the road, he became one with nature.

Now his container is at my feet, reminding me of my greed.
I was a man on the golden street, 'til I did this evil deed.

From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
Myrrdin 5d

I will not say to you
"In another life"
It should have been this one.

When I first met him, our meeting was nothing extraordinary. It was nothing more than a mere exchange of words and a quick glance of the eye. We were a few years apart, which made me scared to talk to him. But yet, when I looked into his bright blue eyes for the first time, I felt like I saw something more within him.

At the time, I knew nothing but his name and I knew nothing about him as a person. Despite that, it was very easy to see the emotion trapped behind his blue eyes. It amazed me how expressive his eyes were, despite the fact that he was wearing a mask that hid is true self from other people. I don’t know if anyone ever noticed it before, because he really was amazing at hiding it. Even though I barely knew him, I could tell that he was hiding his real self.

Later that night, I was lucky enough to be able to look into his eyes again. It was the second and final time of that night, and this time I felt like I saw something different than before. I saw happiness. But, why would he be happy now when he obviously had a mask that hid his anxiety before? I wouldn’t realize it until later, but I believe that I saw my own happiness in him.

This raised many questions. Why could I see a glimpse of my happiness in a guy I had barely met? If there was a possibility of me being happy, I think I may have found it in him.

Two years ago, I had hope. I hoped that somehow, I could start talking to him and maybe become friends. And now, two years later, it seems that the stars have aligned.

Oh, and they’ve aligned alright. But not in my favor.

It was almost as if the space dust and particles in between the stars aligned just so I could see the shadow of his existence walking past me. But that same space dust covered my vision and left me blind, searching for the man that I had barely seen. It seems that my chances with him were made near impossible; he was put just barely out of my reach.

Everything was too perfect, too set in place.
I don’t think we were ever meant to officially meet.
If one tiny instance were to change, then perhaps there could be a chance.

But, I don’t think that whatever is out there - god or something - ever intended for us to be together. I saw my life in the reflection of his eyes, standing in front of me.
And in the next moment-

I never saw it again.

Some thoughts during a storm. Writing these story things really helps clear the mind wowie

mornings are for the beach:
whispered self-conversations
and singing in the underpass,
the clearest i can hear myself

peeking out under baseball caps
and sneaking around town
as if i don’t live here anymore,
which i guess i don’t

staring too hard at the sky
and sometimes-nighttime escapes
driving in cars that aren’t mine;
going around, going nowhere,

and everywhere: choked by
memories in every place we ever went,
making this place feel like less of a home
and more like a crime scene

i do not know how to stop feeling haunted

there are suitcases at the end of the bed
and none of them are mine,
the ghost of you is teaching me
how to run.
and – what, you thought i would stay
just to watch you be in love with her?
just to live in the knowledge
that you no longer want me?
you thought i would stay for that?

maybe i am that masochistic,
maybe i really did love you.
but maybe some people can love
without drawing lines,
putting up walls.
and maybe i

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