You lie to me just to use it!
You walk through me like I blew it!
You ask me, why do I change,
When I’ll lose it!
If you really meant it, you would show it! Not throw it, down the drain,
Like you did yesterday,
I’m going insane,
Like I’ve done everyday,
While you fuck with the fakes,
You’re becoming the same,
That’s not my name,
I won’t touch your shame,
You fuck with the game,
Of nothing to blame.
Your brain!

Is left in the dark and I’m not going back there.
I wish could lie but I promised I would swear.
That maybe,
I’m not meant for this...
And depression, doesn’t exist...
A blanket of mist,
You put on your lips...

I wish I had more patience...
Audrey 2d

Slit skin used to be insane.
Arms and legs were candy canes.
Wish I used my brain, been years
the marks still look the same.

This is about the regret that scars from self-harm can bring.
Amanda 3d

The saddest part is
You can't even tell yourself
Apart from the drugs

After so many years heroin has taken over a portion of you thst you will never get back. I hate that evil drug. I wish I hated you too.
Airned 6d

What am I?
I know the obvious answer is "human",
But I mean it in a more focused way.
What am I to you?
Am I the one whose heart you wish you never broke?
Or the one you wish would fade away for his own good?
Am I the one you kissed so much out of appreciation and maybe unspoken affection?
Or a sullen reminder of the things you may have thrown away?
Am I the sweet sullen soul with a constant smile on his face, who always saw the good in you, and was never angry when you didn't speak, for I was fluent in silence?
Or am I the angry and bitter soul with fire in his eyes, who voices his grave concern and disappointment with the roads you have taken?
Am I the friend you hold so dear, and swore to never let go?
Or am I just a secret now, and nothing more?
The answer is simple
As clear as day
I am not one or the other
I'm both
I'm the one you wish you never hurt, and wish would let you fade, but I'm still here.
I am the one you showed such grand affection to, but you try to downplay like it was nothing, because from here it seems you still feel pain for it all, but I'm still here.
I am happy and bright soul who knows the good you are and can do, but also the angry and sad one who looks on you and asks "What the hell are you doing to yourself?", but I'm still here.
I am still the friend you hold so dear, but also a secret you don't wish to have, because even though you hate lying to him you still do, but I'm still here.
And that shall always remain the same.
The yin and yang.
But one constant will always remain:
I'm still here.
Because to me, you were always worth it.

I was never as simple and one note as I seem to some. I have always been at a balance. I never changed. I have remained the same.

For the person looking for tone, or just a new song to jam to: "The Same Boy You've Always Known" - The White Stripes

have been ground
one grinder
two grinders
one edge
two edges
grinders edges
done did the math
did understood
what
done done
get
it
grinders edges
?

























...
..
.

word
...
..
.

She wanted to drown herself
In her own puddle
But her tears is still to shallow
Her body feels numb and hollow
She tried to run like theres no tomorrow.
Thinking that someone will follow
Now she's broken and a mess
But she realized she couldn't care less.

Uhm I don't know what to put here

my style

let me make my poems read like yours

your lines are so fancy and real

we like to read you and copy the way you feel

we have problems telling people what we think ... because we are idiots ...

people stupid
...
Benji James Jan 31

Today is the day
my existence fades away
ever since high school days
invisible is the way I stayed
I would give up everything
just to fit in.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

So pathetic
they just don't get it
I can't take it anymore
I wanna tell you
But I'm scared about it
Because I don't know
how you'll react.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

It's not right
I hate my life
Wish I was gone (alright)
Hand me downs
Trying to make you proud
But I just can't take
I just can't take it now.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Mike D Jan 31

The hulking beast lurks over my bed
My spine shivers with fear without a word said
I know why he's here
Forecasted his return
It's that time again
Time for my mind to burn

Its shaggy gray coat is more hair than is fur
It's tattered and worn with bald spots that look burned
His jowls slathered with spit and horned tusks that protrude
And beady red eyes from which evil exudes

His sandpaper tongue licks his cracked and chapped lips
The mucous falls off as his teeth bite in clicks
He smiles with pleasure
As his eyes feast on me
In return I close mine
I don't want to see

We've been here before
This is nothing new
This beast in my mind
May not be familiar to you
But a symbiotic existence is one we deal with
Outer shell is the same; inside a distinct rift

The darkness does not follow but instead he controls
He feeds off your fears, your weakness, your woes
All the good that you have he counters with bad
He clutters your mind
He takes all that you had

The relationships that you spent time on and built
He obliterates in minutes and with that you wilt
Your reaction merely allows him to grow stronger
There was a time that you lived but you will live no longer
Your heart may still beat but he has your mind
All the screws and the bolts he starts to unwind
You had a full deck but he discards some cards
He plunders the vault; defenses lowered; no guard

The beast takes control, a mere spec of you remains
But the optics for others is exactly the same
Here lies the problem
The major crux of all this
The beast is not you
This point for others is missed

I am the one who they look at and see
Destructive and selfish, to them the animal is me
I can’t escape or deny it; the whispered gossip is true
I am the beast and the beast is me too
But as much as we are the same we are nothing alike
I am a sentient being living a singular life
We are two passengers in this vehicle, taking the same trip
I’m the one at the helm, cracking the whip

Until the time comes that no longer I can contain
And the backseat driver takes over the reign
The look, touch, smell and sound might be mine
But the one that you know is gone for a time
Away on sabbatical, I’ve taken a rest
While the Beast hurdles forward surely making a mess
Forgive the spewed hate and all the negativity
It’s an inward reflection of the Beast’s insecurities

An evil that spawned from behind the darkness of Hell’s Gate
Knows only the most foul of sentiment man creates
He knows nothing of love, generosity or kindness
Our most basic parochial teachings reminds us
That love counters hate and patience for anger
And suddenly the Beast is the one who’s in danger
No volley or return has he for these actions
Instead more snarls filled with roars as he tries a distraction

A moment of weakness, the time’s come to attack
An onslaught of vulgarity but love and compassion give back
Pull the disfigured form close wrapping your arms around tight
Like a pig off to slaughter he’ll squeal and he’ll fight
A resounding grip tighter and more closely you’ll pull
Like a rodeo rider clinging to a bucking bull
Your will must be strong and prepared for a fight
He’ll writhe in a frenzy so you must hold on tight

A tire bursting with air the Beast gives a flailing gasp
An earthquake toppling a structure, a ton-of-bricks he collapsed
Finally shedding the suit yielding what is inside
A deer frozen in headlights who desperately wants to hide
Shivering and shaking is a small doe eyed child
Alone in the woods, lost and scared all the while
Wanting nothing more than to feel loves warming touch
As I said, it is simple. It doesn’t take much

So when faced with resentment disgust and the like
Use composure with patience love in your heart and you might
By responding with kindness defeat the grotesque
And unsightliest of creatures finally putting to rest
An advisory with whom a loved one has battled
Turned his life upside down; To the core he has rattled
Could never quite shed or rid himself of this beast
But with your love and support he can finally find peace

Written: August 17, 2017 [Modified & completed][Modified again January 29, 2018]

All rights reserved.
Mike D Jan 20

The story is nothing new
This page isn’t filled with uniquely creative thoughts
An epic tale told a thousand times
You probably know the whole thing by heart
Each line another cliché metaphor
A clever twisting of the words
Filled with thesaurus like similes
Turning clever into the absurd

Dated analogies about the sun and moon
The heavens and the earth
Attempting to link items on the grandest of scales
To your emotional tale without worth
Or an observation deemed so insightful
Into rhyme or prose it must be made
Yet exactly seen by millions like you
The same story they also laid

Falling tears or fervor held
Are items long in the tooth
A comet soaring through Heaven and Hell
Trucker’s tales in coffee booths
Attentive ears are deafly turning
Audience bemoans with a heavy sigh
A hefty wind flickers the candle’s flame
The plunging eagle about to die


A key among the keyboard
The tide is given a sudden shift
A movie fade to black then back again
The story’s not over yet
The soul might be old but the embodiment new
Of the same fabric it is made
Mother birthing a child; Later child birthing too
The road before us has been paved

Our predecessors we don’t maniacally mow down
Or drive harshly over their backs
Asphalt has been laid and affixed with bright lights
For this trip our bags have been packed
Our minds lit and a map we’re handed
But this is our journey to take
Every sensory felt, every nuance, every detail
Each experience is ours to make

Recalling and pondering we filter it through
Our subconscious and conscious mind
Eloquently putting our words onto paper
Giving life to the tale that we wind
No incantation given, no sorcery used,
No tricks or attempt to obfuscate
A virtuous orator with straightforward talk
Reaching out to communicate

A fire within like a volcano erupts
Ripping pieces from us we must share
Tiny segmented memories that are shed off
Slowly away from us floating on air
On their own expedition with distinctive narrative
From their trek new treks will be born
The road will be driven so many times
New asphalt will become old and worn

These statements aren’t made in an attempt to dissuade
The adventurous explorer’s spirit
On the contrary in fact, life’s reigns they must grab
Not on their hands idly sit

The model dictates near the end we must make
A summation of previous characters
All statements before and utterances too
Must fit neatly in one or two stanzas

Even though each of us has a heart and a mind
Their singularity makes each person special
The data they store from the ride we call life
If desired a story should tell
Don’t be shut behind doors, someone turned off the lights
Told your words sound like nothing but noise
The world needs to hear so for all you must share
Your unique individual voice

Written - January 20, 2018 'Today'

All rights reserved.
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