Lately, I've felt nothing.
I mean it seems to always have been a little like this,
And pre-teenage years,
But it's more lately.
I just feel so blank.
Like walking isn't walking anymore,
It's just a monotonous repetition.
Sometimes I don't feel that way though,
I get loud,
And I feel I can finally hear myself,
And it feels more than just monotony,
I goof around,
And my face feels somewhat genuine,
And I feel something.
But it seems no one likes it when I'm like that.
No one likes me being loud,
No one likes to move around with me,
I don't think anyone likes goofing off with me much.
And I hate to admit,
That I really don't like people disliking me.
I hate to admit,
That I enjoy some other form of validation.
And so I stop.
No more hearing me,
No longer a break in the monotony,
No feeling like I'm funny,
Just back to nothing.
But it seems I never quite fall back to the same nothing,
Especially after feeling something.
I always fall back to a hollow nothing,
An empty nothing.
Somehow less of nothing,
While also seemingly feeling like its more nothing,
A deeper nothing,
I know its probably just another poem about something most people think or feel but I'm really glad I wrote it out.