"Good evening, Mrs Jones."

"Oh, hello there officer, what on earth do the police want with me?"

"It's not you, it's your son, David."

"Why, David is a good boy, he is out now taking our puppy for a walk."

"Your poodle, yes?"

"That's right, Harry his name is."

"David has been reported as having relations with Harry behind the post office."

"Relations?"

"According to three witnesses he was seen bumming poor Harry to death."

"To death?"

"Yes, the body has been taken to the police dog pound."

"Oh ok, but you do realise David identifies as a gay poodle?"

"Mrs Jones, I am so sorry. If we had known that we wouldn't of troubled you."

"That's the problem with you lot; you're a bunch of Terfs."

"Tell David not to worry and be assured the witnesses shall be reprimanded and dealt with appropiately."

"Good day to you officer."

"Thank you for your time Mrs Jones and please accept the force's full apology in this matter."