we are merely an amalgamation of atoms in the universe, floating around until we happen to collide, falling headfirst into someone else’s space.
i knew the moment we first met that there was something different about this girl. she made me feel almost...brand new. there was a reason she had come to visit me in my shattering stratosphere. why, i did not know then.
she was art but not just how art is nice to look at, to gaze, to admire. her magnetic energy instantly drew me in. but mostly she was beautiful because of all the worlds floating in that mind of hers.
i tried so hard to love her, i gave her all i could. comforted her in times of sadness, laughed with her about music and art and friendships and all the things good girl friends do.
i didn't realize what was happening;
but i loved her more than that, she never knew.
or maybe you did. maybe that’s why you pushed me so far away from you.
good girl friends don’t fall asleep at night thinking about how soft her lips would taste on theirs, pray to god for a goddamn miracle to make her feel something, too.
she taught me that loving is both selfish and selfless. selfless because there is nothing i wouldn’t have done to see her smile again; selfish because the fatal flaw of human nature is that we do all things with the small, but secret hope that they will love us back. don’t try to hide it.
i think we both know:
i have loved you;
i let you go.
excerpt from 'good girl friends,' featured in "lessons in love and pain"
a book i will write #015
the rest is coming soon <3