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understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don't understand i don'
Mark Lecuona Mar 2012
I don’t understand
****** for power
I don’t understand
Complaint without solution
I don’t understand
Ego without accomplishment
I don’t understand
Action without reason
I don’t understand
Judgment without experience
I don’t understand
Advancement without merit
I don’t understand
Worship without thought
I don’t understand
Belief without proof
I don’t understand
Love without kindness
I don’t understand
Want without need
I don’t understand
Talk without meaning
I don’t understand
Celebrity without talent
I don’t understand
A white lie
I don’t understand
Falsehood without challenge
I don’t understand
Might over right
I don’t understand
Beauty without soul
I don’t understand
Law from faith
I don’t understand
Victory at all costs
I don’t understand
An end by any means
I don't understand
Commerce over spirituality
I don't understand
Greed over giving
I don’t understand
Hurting a child
I don’t understand
Reward for failure
I don’t understand
Too big to fail
I don’t understand
The Virtue of Selfishness
I don’t understand
Too powerful to question
I don’t understand
Arrogance from vicarious pleasure
I don’t understand
Ambition without empathy
I don’t understand
The sale of loyalty
I don’t understand
Money over honor
I don't understand
Ignorance over education
I don't understand
Cheating
I don’t understand
Hate
I don't understand
Why the good die young
I don't understand
Do you?
Taylor Mar 2015
I think I understand now why people compare the one they love to a star filled night. Why they dream of the first snowfall, the first Christmas, the first set of fireworks.
I think I understand now why people give the person they love flowers and chocolate. Why the first kiss matters, the first “I love you” matters, the first sleepless night matters.
I think I understand now why people fall in love. Why they’re willing to conquer the cold, to travel any distance, to spend money they don’t have.
I think I understand now what love songs are about. Why people write metaphors about someone to share to the world, poems to recite about ever changing eyes, melodies as sweet as their laughter.

I understand.
I understand that I get the best sleep when I’m talking to you. I understand that I wake up every morning with only you on my mind. I understand that my poetry will always seep with your presence. I understand that there is nothing I want more than to hold you in my arms.
I think I understand now that I’m falling for you in ways that I’ve never fallen for someone before. That nothing else matters besides the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you. That thinking of you brings me a smile.
I think I understand now why people fall. Fall off bikes. Fall off horses. Fall off tightropes. Fall for girls. Fall for boys.
I fall for you.

I fall for sleepy nights, for daily summaries, for adventures and humming. I fall for song sharing, for I missed you more’s, for wins and losses.
I fall for chance, for randomness, for the idea of falling. I fall for laughter, for secrets, for one a.m. conversations.
I fall for you not because you’re the only one to fall for, but because you’re the only one I want to fall for.

I want star filled nights. I want the first snowfall, the first Christmas, the first set of fireworks.
I want to give you flowers and chocolate. I want the first kiss, the first “I love you”, the first sleepless night.
I want to fall in love. I’ll conquer the cold, travel any distance, spend money I don’t have.
I want to break the habit of running away from things that make me happy. I want to stay this time and keep every promise.

I think I understand now that adventures are not always physical quests set before a hero. They are sometimes the feeling someone gets when a person says their name for the first time, or a tightening in the chest when that that someone looks a person who has wonder filled eyes and a fiery laugh.
I think I understand now that an adventure is how I feel about you. How I fall for your eyes, your hair, your ability to make me laugh without being funny. How I feel when you interrupt me to talk about silly things. How I feel when your eyes shift to me and you smile.

I think I understand now why my heart beat flutters when we talk. Why nothing else seems important. Why I find you between the lines of my favorite books.
I think I understand now why people say someone stole their heart. You hold mine in your hands and I’m not sure I want it back.
I think I understand now why I write love poems. Why I etch you into pieces of paper, why I contour your soul into words I’ll never forget, why I take notes of the events of my falling.

I understand.
I understand that hands are made for safety. That words are made for comfort and understanding.
I understand that I’m falling.
I understand that it’s for you.
I understand that I can’t change that.
I understand that I’m terrified of it.
I understand that I need work.
I understand that you’re worth it.
I hope you understand too.
Mark Lecuona Feb 2012
What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t think like you
I don’t wait in line
Because there is nothing that I need

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not turned on like you
I’m not a thrill seeker
Because I don’t crave speed

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not impressed
I don’t have to prove my manhood
Because I already planted that seed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t keep up with you
I don’t care anymore
Because I am not full of greed

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot control me
I made you angry
Because we never agreed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t live in your world
I’m not trendy
Because all I do is lead

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot reach me
I am not vulnerable
Because I will never bleed

What you don't understand
Is why I won’t laugh
I am not fooled
Because you are so full of need

What you don’t understand
Is that it will never work
I will not be compromised
Because your plan will never succeed

What you don’t understand
Is that I seek the truth
I reject what you stipulate
Because I don’t eat what you feed

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never know
I don’t have to explain
Because I have my own creed

What you don’t understand
Is that I will soon be gone
I only warn you
Because I want you to take heed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t have to run
I will never follow
Because I will always precede

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never understand
I will prompt questions
Because I will always mislead

What you don’t understand
Is that your time is short
You will soon wilt
Because freedom will **** a *****



All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona
Cindy Torres Jun 2015
No one ever gave it a chance to try to understand why I overthink too much, through hell and back, I still admire myself for staying strong. Working on myself trying to better who I am, you hear me but you don't feel me, my actions are something you might never understand. No one was ever there, being alone is all I know. Pregnant, dropout, ******, is what they said my life would be, but it's not the way I will allow things go. Understand that I have goals, I demand respect. Loyalty is what I live by, my mind is never mislead, so whatever you give me; is what in return you will get. Understand. It's not about relating to me, or else I'd be misunderstood. Just don't fail to recognize all the hard work I put in to make it out the hood. In order to understand why I'm isolated at times, you'd have to know that I grew up always being pushed to the side. I don't understand how he made me fall in the most beautiful simple way, in return I wanna prove that I'm not like the other girls who lied. Everybody has their own experiences, which makes them look at certain situations in a different way. Until I'm able to show off to the world the boy who owns my heart, I wait anxiously as I cross off my calendar another, and another, and another day. Understand that although I make a lot of mistakes, they've made me the person that I am today. With no guidance, I conquered my childhood alone, facing different problems, overcoming difficult situations, with no one to turn to when I was being consumed by loneliness. Don't know when the day will come, when I can  understand why things happened the way they did, but I know it is. Every day I assure myself into understanding that something good will come from the bad. I try to ignore the negative thoughts that emerge when it's 3:00 a.m and I'm contemplating about the days when I was once all I had. Understand. Open your mind and let my thoughts sink in deep as you put yourself in my shoes and feel the numbness my heart contains. Understand how it's hard to trust someone after all the betrayals by trusting too much that my mind sustains. After all the pain that I've been through, I realized how empty inside I am, you need to understand why I carry myself the way I do. I hold so much anger because growing up I had nobody to depend on, I was always on my own. I just need him to understand that I've been let down my whole life, I'll always be his back bone. By understanding why I am who I am, understand why I feel lucky and fortunate to have my boo. Understand why I never question his actions, and at the end of the day, I realize I'm not the only one who's lucky, cause he has me too.
Do you really
Understand?
i suppose not
If you do i really
Can't Tell
Help me
Understand
I'm so confused
i need understanding
this isn't working out
i cant help myself
oh
But you don't understand me?
well
let me help you
every f**
Day
i wake to go to
a place
where people
******* kids
act like *******
all the ******* time
not towards me of course
but towards people
who are defenseless
helpless
against someone
who happens
to be bigger
but little do they
know
that same person
has a much worse life
then them
i need you to
understand
understand why
I'm the way
I am
But hey
you don't want to do that
do you
every **** day
people don't
understand
why I'm angry
dead on the inside
and you still don't understand
maybe because most
people
in the world
are selfish
lying
conniving
******!!!
Oh
but I'm the
Crazy one?
please.
let me help you
Understand
Understand why
I am
the way
I am.
Understand this
Understand me
understand why I'm angry
understand my emotion
i just
need you
TO UNDERSTAND.
Nicole Dawn May 2015
I remember,
The day we first met,
Just like it was yesterday.
We began talking,
Then you said,
"I only like to talk,
To people who are
Somewhat intelligent."

And I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand

Because around you,
I can barely put two words together,
Let alone forms words and sentences
That are
"Somewhat intelligent."

So I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand

Yet you keep on talking,
You are witty and nice.
You make make me feel happy.
I start to smile and even laugh

But I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand

I begin to relax,
I tell a dumb joke,
It wasn't funny but you laugh anyway.
I listen to you talk.
Just keep on talking.
Just keep on talking.

Still I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand

But please keep on talking.
I don't understand.
But please keep on talking.
This didn't turn out like I expected.
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
"You don't understand"
Said her friend with her broken heart.

"You don't understand"
Her dad sighed, begging for a new start.

"You don't understand"
Screamed her boyfriend, his wrists bleeding red.

"You don't understand"
Cried her sister with the voices in her head.

"You don't understand"
Glared the boy, bullied because he was gay.

"but I do understand"
Because I am not okay.

"I understand"
I have a broken heart too.

"I understand"
I need a new start, but you have no clue.

"I understand"
My wrists have bled, my family isn't very kind.

"I understand"
The voices scream and yell throughout my mind.

"I understand"
I am bullied almost everyday.

"I understand"*
Because I am not okay.
Matt Feb 2015
Form is emptiness
Emptiness is form

1. Sunyata (Emptiness) is the profound meaning of the Mahayana Teaching.

Two thousand five hundred years ago, the Buddha was able to realise "emptiness" (s. sunyata). By doing so he freed himself from unsatisfactoriness (s. dukkha). From the standpoint of enlightenment, sunyata is the reality of all worldly existences (s. dharma). It is the realisation of Bodhi — Prajna. From the standpoint of liberation, sunyata is the skilful means that disentangle oneself from defilement and unsatisfactoriness. The realisation of sunyata leads one to no attachment and clinging. It is the skilful means towards enlightenment and also the fruit of enlightenment.

There are two ways for us to understand this concept of sunyata in the Mahayana context. One way is to try to understand the explanation about its true nature. The other way is the realisation through practice. What we are going to discuss now is about its true nature.

Mahayana teachings have always considered that the understanding of sunyata is an attainment which is extremely difficult and extraordinarily profound.

For example, in the Prajna Sutra it says "That which is profound, has sunyata and non-attachment as its significance. No form nor deeds, no rising nor falling, are its implications."

Again in the Dvadasanikaya Sastra (composed by Nagarjuna, translated to Chinese by Kumarajiva A.D. 408) it says: "The greatest wisdom is the so-called sunyata."

This sunyata, no creation, calmness and extinction (s. nirvana) is of a profound significance in the Mahayana teachings. Why do we see it as the most profound teaching? This is because there is no worldly knowledge, be it general studies, science or philosophy, that can lead to the attainment of the state of sunyata. The only path to its realisation is via the supreme wisdom of an impassionate and discriminating mind. It is beyond the common worldly understanding.

2. The Significance of Sunyata and Cessation

The Buddha always used the terms void, no rising and falling, calmness and extinction to explain the profound meaning of sunyata and cessation. The teachings of the Buddha that were described in words are generally common to worldly understandings. If one interprets the teachings superficially from the words and languages used, one will only gain worldly knowledge and not the deeper implication of the teachings. The teachings of the Buddha have their supra-mundane contexts that are beyond the worldly knowledge.

For example, sunyata and the state of nirvana where there is no rising nor falling, are interpreted by most people as a state of non-existence and gloom. They fail to realise that quite the opposite, sunyata is of substantial and positive significance.

The sutras often use the word "great void" to explain the significance of sunyata. In general, we understand the "great void" as something that contains absolutely nothing. However, from a Buddhist perspective, the nature of the "great void" implies something which does not obstruct other things, in which all matters perform their own functions. Materials are form, which by their nature, imply obstruction. The special characteristic of the "great void" is non-obstruction. The "great void" therefore, does not serve as an obstacle to them. Since the "great void" exhibits no obstructive tendencies, it serves as the foundation for matter to function. In other words, if there was no "great void" nor characteristic of non-obstruction, it would be impossible for the material world to exist and function.

The "great void" is not separated from the material world. The latter depends on the former. We can state that the profound significance of sunyata and the nature of sunyata in Buddhism highlights the "great void’s" non-obstructive nature.

Sunyata does not imply the "great void". Instead, it is the foundation of all phenomena (form and mind). It is the true nature of all phenomena, and it is the basic principle of all existence. In other words, if the universe’s existence was not empty nor impermanent, then all resulting phenomena could not have arisen due to the co-existence of various causes and there would be no rising nor falling. The nature of sunyata is of positive significance!

Calmness and extinction are the opposite of rising and falling. They are another way to express that there is no rising and falling. Rising and falling are the common characteristics of worldly existence. All phenomena are always in the cycle of rising and falling. However, most people concentrate on living (rising). They think that the universe and life are the reality of a continuous existence.

Buddhism on the other hand, promotes the value of a continuous cessation (falling). This cessation does not imply that it ceases to exist altogether. Instead, it is just a state in the continuous process of phenomena. In this material world, or what we may call this "state of existence", everything eventually ceases to exist. Cessation is definitely the home of all existences. Since cessation is the calm state of existence and the eventual refuge of all phenomena, it is also the foundation for all activities and functions.

The Amitabha Buddha who was, and is, revered and praised by Buddhists around the world, radiates indefinite light and life from this "state of cessation". This state is a continuous process of calmness. It will be the eventual refuge for us all. If we think carefully about the definitions of calmness and extinction, then we can deduce that they are the true natural end-points of rising and falling. The true nature of the cycle of rising and falling is calmness and extinction. Because of this nature, all chaos and conflicts in the state of rising and falling will eventually cease. This is attainable by the realisation of prajna.

3. Contemplating the Implications of Sunyata and Stillness (Nirvana) by Observing Worldly Phenomena

All existences exhibit void-nature and nirvana-nature. These natures are the reality of all existence. To realise the truth, we have to contemplate and observe our worldly existence. We cannot realise the former without observing the latter. Consider this Heart Sutra extract, "Only when Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva practised the deep course of wisdom of Prajna Paramita did he come to realise that the five skandhas (aggregates, and material and mental objects) were void."

Profound wisdom leads us to the realisation that all existences are of void-nature. The sutras demonstrate that the profound principle can be understood by contemplating and observing the five skandhas. We cannot realise the truth by seeking something beyond the material and mental world. The Buddha, using his perfect wisdom, observed worldly existence from various implications and aspects, and came to understand all existences.

In summary, there are three paths to this observation:

a) We should observe the preceding state and the current state of conditions. i.e., Observation according to the concept of time.

b) We should observe existences according to their interrelationships. i.e., Observation via the concept of space (either two or three-dimensions).

c) We should observe the true nature of all myriad beings. This is like observing the worldly existences of a point, a line and an area. Those with supreme wisdom understand the true nature of all worldly existences by observing vertically the relationships between the preceding and current conditions, and horizontally the interrelationships. Then we can understand the true meaning of void-nature and nirvana-nature.

3.1 By observing the preceding-stage and the current-stage conditions, we can verify the Law of Impermanence of all worldly existences. All existences, be they material or mental, be they the material world, or the physical or mental states of sentient beings, are subject to continuous change.

The world may have certain states of beings where they stay static or are in equilibrium on a temporary basis (for example hibernation). But when we observe them with supreme wisdom, we will find that not only do they keep changing on a yearly basis, but also that this change applies to even every briefest moment. After the current state of conditions have ceased to exist, the newly-formed state materialises. This is the state of rising and falling. The rising and falling of each small moment reveals that all existences are ever-moving and ever-changing.

Conventional scholars have a very good explanation of these ever-changing worldly conditions. However they, including the practitioners of dharma, try to make sense of the reality from the ever-changing worldly existences. That is, they are fooled by the material existences and are not able to understand the deeper truth of all existences.

Only those with the supreme wisdom of the Buddha and Mahabodhisattvas realise and understand that all existences are illusions. They understand that existences are not real from the observation of the flow of changing existences. The numerous illusionary existences may well be diverse and confusing, arising and decaying. But when we look into their true nature, we will find them void and of nirvana-nature.

On the other hand, since all existences are of nirvana-nature, they appear from the perspective of time, to be ever-changing. They never stay the same even for the briefest moment. Impermanence implies existences do not have a permanent entity. This is another implication of the nature of sunyata and stillness.

3.2 From observations of existence via inter-relationships, we can conclude that nothing is independent of the Law of Causation, and that everything is without ego. For example, the Buddha explains that the individual sentient being is composed of physical, physiological and psychological phenomena. The so called ego is a deluded illusion which does not exist in reality. Its existence depends on the combination of both physical and mental factors. It is a union of organic phenomena. Thus we call it the empirical ego. It is a mistake to cling to it as an infatuated ego.

The Indian concept of the supreme spirit implies someone who rules. The spirit is the ruler who is independent of is self-dependent and all causes. In other words, the spirit is the one who is free from all primary and secondary causes (for physical and mental aspects). The spirit is the one who has the soul of his own body and mind. This is the ego or supreme spirit that the theologists cling to. From their view point, the only way to avoid physical and mental decay is to be self-determined and self-sovereign. In this way, the supreme being can stay permanent in the cycle of reincarnation, and return to the absolute reality by liberating himself from life and death.

But from the profound contemplation and wisdom of the Buddha and Mahabodhisattvas, we know there is no such reality. Instead, egolessness (non-self) is the only path to understand the reality of the deluded life. All existences are subject to the Law of Causes and Conditions. These include the smallest particles, the relationship between the particles, the planets, and the relationship between them, up to and including the whole universe! From the smallest particles to the biggest matter, there exists no absolute independent identity.

Egolessness (non-self) implies the void characteristics of all existence. Egolessness (non-self) signifies the non-existence of permanent identity for self and existence (Dharma). Sunyata stresses the voidness characteristic of self and existence (Dharma). Sunyata and egolessness possess similar attributes. As we have discussed before, we can observe the profound significance of sunyata from the perspective of inter-dependent relationships. Considering dharma-nature and the condition of nirvana, all existences are immaterial and of a void-nature. Then we see each existence as independent of each other. But then we cannot find any material that does exist independent of everything else. So egolessness also implies void-nature!

3.3 From the observation of all existences, we can infer the theory of nirvana and the complete cessation of all phenomena. From the viewpoint of phenomena, all existences are so different from each other, that they may contradict each other. They are so chaotic. In reality, their existence is illusionary and arises from conditional causation. They seem to exist on one hand, and yet do not exist on the other. They seem to be united, but yet they are so different to one another. They seem to exist and yet they do cease! Ultimately everything will return to harmony and complete calmness. This is the nature of all existence. It is the final resting place for all. If we can understand this reality and remove our illusions, we can find this state of harmony and complete calmness.

All our contradictions, impediments and confusion will be converted to equanimity. Free from illusion, complete calmness will be the result of attaining nirvana. The Buddha emphasised the significance of this attainment and encouraged the direct and profound contemplation on void-nature. He said, "Since there is no absolute self-nature thus every existence exhibits void-nature. Because it is void, there is no rising nor falling. Since there is no rising nor falling, thus everything was originally in complete calmness. Its self-nature is nirvana."

From the viewpoint of time and space, we can surmise that all existences are impermanent, all existences have no permanent self, and nirvana is the result of the cessation of all existences - the Three Universal Characteristics. But there are not three different truths. Instead, they are the characteristics of the only absolute truth and the ultimate reality. This is the explanation of Dharma-nature and the condition of nirvana. The three characteristics are the one characteristic, and vice versa!

We may cultivate our meditation, contemplating the impersonality of all existences. This will lead us to enlightenment via the path of voidness. Contemplating nirvana and complete calmness leads to enlightenment by the path of immaterial form. Contemplating the impermanence of all existences, leads us to enlightenment by the path of inactivity (no desire).

The Three Universal Characteristics are the other implications of Dharma-nature and nirvana. The paths to enlightenment are also the same cause of absolute reality. All of them return to the Dharma-nature and the condition of nirvana. In short, the teachings of the Buddha start from the observation and contemplation of all worldly phenomena. They are like thousands of streams of water competing with each other, and flowing from the top of the mountains to the bottom. Eventually, all of them return to the ocean of voidness and nirvana.

4. Sunyata and Cessation is the Truth (Nature) of All Existences.

All existences that are recognised by worldly understanding, whether materially, spiritually or intellectually, have always been misunderstood by us. We cling to them as real, physically existing and permanent. Actually, they are only unreal names.

The more precise meaning of the term "unreal name" is "assumption" or "hypothesis". It is an empirical name. It is formed by the combination of various causes and effects. (These include the effects of mental consciousness.) It does not exist by itself. Everything exists relatively. Thus, what is the ultimate truth? If we investigate existence further, we realise that all existences are empty. This is the fundamental characteristic and reality of all existence. It is ultimate and absolute. But we should not think that empty means nothing. It implies the disentanglement from the worldly misunderstanding of the existence of self, identity, and the realisation of the absolute.

In the Sutras and Abhidharma, the worldly understandings are sometimes referred to as all phenomena (Dharma). Sunyata is referred to as "Dharma-nature", and hence there is a distinction between "phenomena" and "Dhamma-nature". However, this is only an expedient explanation that helps us to realise the truth of sunyata through the phenomena of all existences.

We should not think that "existence" and "nature"; or the "phenomena of Dharma" and "Dharma-nature" are something contradictory. They are just concepts needed to understand the implication of sunyata.

We may analyse the exp
Mark Lecuona Jan 2012
I finally understand despair
When there is nothing left to do
Except to hurt yourself
I finally understand anger
When there is no calm
Except when you hurt someone else
I finally understand pathos
When I have to reach you
Because I can no longer reach myself
I finally understand depression
When I can reach no one
Because they are somewhere else

I cannot understand happiness
When I am not happy
Because I have rejected myself
I cannot understand contentment
When I am so uninspired
And need to be like someone else
I cannot understand a smile
When I am so lost
Because it does not come from myself
I cannot understand your approval
When I am restless
And want it from someone else

How can I live
When my life is upside down
And the sun is harmful to myself
How can I sleep
When the night is all I have
But it belongs to someone else
How can I love you
When soon I will leave
So I can ****** someone else
How can I exist
When there is no answer
Even when I only question myself

How can I understand
When I cannot live
Unless I am happy with myself
How can I live
When I am unhappy
Because there is nothing else
How can you help me
When I am in need
When I can’t help myself
How can I help you
When I can’t understand
How to love someone else

How can I cope
When I am controlled
And cannot be myself
How can I remain in control
When I am shackled
By someone else
How can I resist
When to resist is to die
Because I am not in control of myself
How can I die
When to live is all I have
Because I am needed by someone else

I must understand hope
Because I need to believe
In something more than myself
I must understand tomorrow
Because today is yesterday
When I was someone else
I must understand how to wait
For something to believe
Because I need to believe in myself
I must understand how to be strong
When that is all I can do
Because of the belief of someone else*



"All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona."
Breanna Ables Jul 2017
I do not understand why my mother cries at night
I do not understand why my father is disappointed
I do not understand why he hurt me
I do not understand this numbing feeling
I do not understand the scars littered across my skin.
I do not understand this fear.
do I understand? no,
I may never understand why
I feel this way or why my family
is torn apart.
I do not understand. cant you see?
I do not have a reason to be confused.
I should understand.
I cant understand.
make me understand.
An Uncommon Poet Sep 2014
Every course should be marked on content.
In todays schooling we ask students to write final essays or regular essays to discuss their knowledge in a specific topic. However, marks are deducted for minor sentence errors, grammatical errors and style errors. But does that mean they don’t have sufficient knowledge about the topic or that the content of the essay does mean standards? No. Students lose marks for unrelated reasons. Grammar is not content. Grammar is grammar. Content could be excellent while the grammar is horrible. Philosophers potentially had the worst grammar ever, however we have glorified their thoughts for centuries.
This is where schooling has changed. And this is how schooling needs to change. Writing an essay is irrelevant to knowledge about a topic. Writing skills and understanding of content do not intertwine. If I wanted someone to apply knowledge they learned from a topic an essay is perhaps a very irrelevant way of doing so. Why judge someone on something that is, in today’s society exposed to interferences? Interferences such as grammatical errors.
If I wanted to know someones knowledge about a certain topic and wanted them to apply logic and theories they learned from courses, why not talk to them rather than using paper as a pigeon to share ideas? If it was spoken I can’t say “you lost marks because you didn’t put a period here and a comma there.” If it is spoken, you will still be able to notice if the student understands the topic. This way there is not interferences. It is strictly about content of knowledge and the students ability to apply what they have learned into specific views about a question I would have for them.
If I asked a teacher to have a class discussion where everyone had input, how would the teacher grade them? On quality of their answer, and clarity. Clarity being their ability to get to the point. However, if it is not clear, can the student make it clear for the rest of the class? Because what sometimes isn’t clear for one person, could be unclear because they are not as intelligent to be able to understand. The other student might not be so stupid because he said it in a way that is unclear. Maybe the listener is stupid because they didn’t understand? However, if the student can make it clear then their quality of the answer enhances and they will receive a higher grade.
For instance, if this was a formal essay that attempted to answer “What is wrong with schooling?” I would lose marks because I asked questions. Asking questions for some reason is not allowed? Is it informal? No. But society tells us we shouldn’t ask questions we should instead assume something and make a statement because that imposes confidence in a thought. But, if I was questioning certain aspects of something would that prove that I have sufficient knowledge towards one topic? Wouldn’t that impose that I have enough knowledge to understand details and question them? But hey, don’t formulate that statement in a question. It’s stupid. Question everything because you will never know all the answers regardless of all the resources.
By discussing a topic, the answers are direct. Content may vary depending on how much the student learned (providing the teacher is good at teaching and the proper course are in place). If the student struggles to understand a topic it will be evident in the quality of their answer. We can still see if the student is trying too hard (which is never a bad thing to set the standard high, shoot for the stars), or if the answer they have is someone else’s because they aren’t necessarily answers that they would have or words that they would use. But that is an assumption. Never assume, instead question. We can still notice if the student paid attention the course lectures and successfully answered the topic question with detail, reference, questions, relations, and application of knowledge that was taught to the student.
Just because a student can’t write a thought out on paper, does not mean they didn’t understand it. **** I used contractions, I would lose more marks there as well. See what I mean, a highschool teacher would tell me that I can’t say “Can’t” I was supposed to say “Can not” because that is formal. What is formal? Who said that is formal? Jim Joe Bob down the road? Who cares, does the student understand the topic or not? Stop docking marks for things unrelated to the subject.
If this was a writing course it would be understood why a student would lose marks for grammar and word choice and sentence structure or clarity. But students lose marks in History essays for word choice, and in political science for forgetting a period and in gender studies for saying “you” in a final essay. These are unneeded reasons for losing marks. At the end of the day does the student understand the historical importance of the topic? Or does the student understand the importance of the judiciary amongst the political system? Or does the student understand that sexism will only negatively impact society? If no, then he or she gets a bad mark, if yes, they get a good mark. Stop making up reasons for bad marks.
However, one will say; “Well what if the quality of the essay is so ****** I can’t even understand their knowledge?” This proves the instability of essays. Don’t ask for an essay. Ask to talk to the student about the topic. You’ll know if he or she understands. Just like when you go to a retail store and ask for advice about a product. We know if the associate knows what they are talking about, if they have no idea or if they are just telling us what they learned from training (which isn’t bad). Teachers potentially train students in a certain area. Why not ask a question which enforces them to apply the knowledge which they gained from the training to their answer? The teacher will know if the student knows what they are talking about (because they paid attention in training/class) or if they have no idea (because they did not understand or pay attention). Even if they retell you everything that was taught to them. Don’t they know something about the answer? Yes, it’s not the most enriched content because it was your own words but the student learned something right? Isn’t that why they go to school? To learn?
Another will say; “But we can’t escape writing. We have to do it everyday. A person must know how to write.” Fair. But why not teach writing in a writing course? One where the student will be marked on their ability to be clear in writing, or their ability to be grammatically correct, or their word selectiveness, or the sentence and paragraph structure. This seems like an appropriate course to deduct marks for incorrect application of knowledge. However, another person will ask; “then how do you teach structure and grammar?” Through exercises. Ask them to write a paper. Go through assignments as a class, encourage class participation and discussion. If the student doesn’t talk, the teacher will know what they understand therefore, how are they to give them anything but a bad mark? It’s at the student’s discretion but the proper systems need to be in place.
An example; how many people have gotten a paper back, looked at their grade and put the paper away? Did not even look at the corrections or suggestions for reasons why the mark was so poor or decent? Every one. Why not give a student a second chance? Why not scare them to do their best? Try this: Ask students to answer a question, any question. Have them hand it in 10 days from the assigned date. Students who want a good mark will use their time wisely to proof read, get the proper references and apply the correct knowledge. Students who want to get by will start two nights before. Once the papers are handed in, edit them. Once finished, return them without a mark. Wait for the students reaction. They will come up to you asking “what’d I get?”, “why isn’t there a mark?”. Tell them that, they aren’t getting a mark, they need to read the corrections and implement them. Have the paper due in three days. Once the papers are submitted, grade them. There will be less grammatical errors. At least for the students who took the time to read the corrections and implement them. The students who did not, will not receive a high grade a potentially face the threat of a failing grade. Hand the papers back with grades. Once this is done, ask for them to write another essay on a different topic. A topic such as “Should capital punishment be reinforced in Canada?” This topic is ok because you can write about any topic, its still writing. Writing is not confined to topics such as grammar, story writing or essay writing. Writing has infinite topic possibilities. But once the essay topic is given out, tell them they have 10 days to hand it in. Once handed in, give them a grade. Don’t give the chance for editing this time, and see if there is less errors for each student, ask to sit down with them and compare the errors that were made. In this way the student will learn and most importantly remember why and why not to write in certain structures while adding certain grammatical content.
With this exercise the student will learn how to clearly write, but it will take a while. It should be mandatory that students take a writing course throughout elementary and secondary school because the statement is true “we cannot escape writing”. Everyone must know how to write. But in society we struggle to remember that, just because someone can’t write something doesn’t mean they do not understand the topic. If I was to ask Einstein to write a topic on the differences of between time and space in APA format, His content would very well achieve high academic standards but his grammar and format would be god awful. It would be horrendous. He did not know how to write in specific manners, he would use his resources to learn but that was because from what we know he wanted to achieve in the highest manner possible. But he understood the content, and isn’t that what is most important? O the other hand, if I asked him to tell me about the topic, would it be more credible? Would it blow someone’s mind because they couldn’t take away marks. He would receive 100% on everything because he understood the content. That’s all that matters. For those who want to write, take writing courses. Or in today’s society, every context course is a writing course, as students are not be graded on their quality, rather, they are being graded on writing abilities. So to conclude, are we teaching history, science, politics, law, child and youth studies or are we just teaching students how to write without expanding their knowledge of the topic. We can’t base content off of what is written down,  interferences are infinite. ****, I used “can’t”. Sorry.
Silence is a hard thing to understand. It has a wide vocabulary, and sometimes rings out so loudly, as if a choir of confusion, that it is nearly impossible to translate. Sometimes it is so void of life that one cannot even hear one’s own heart beating. Silence is never the same twice, for it comes with different emotions and circumstances each time, even if seemingly the same, and it always has something new to unravel, whether it is what we need to hear, what we refuse to hear, or what we’ve been waiting to show, or trying not to show, ourselves or another, all along. Silence can be an ever changing friend, or an unrelenting enemy. No matter the form or fashion, silence is, and will forever remain, the most welcome and unwanted part of our lives.

It is an often overlooked truth that silence can be anything but. The voices echoing within the vastness between one ear and the next are still far more audible than anything exhaled amidst a mixture of lips, teeth, and tongue, so that even when we are not speaking our mind, the mind is speaking, even if only to the soul attached to it, speaking volumes silently as they translate into emotion and action, or the lack thereof, creating a vocabulary of gesture and expression, but also of stillness and blankness, woven together in both intricacy and complication, losing nothing in translation of language, but sometimes losing much in the heart’s translation of emotion to and from a soul other than its own.

Emotions are each a different language in themselves, for each has their own gestures, expressions, and blank stillness. The mind learns new languages by hearing and reading and teaches the mouth and fingers to translate from thought to spoken or written word, and it depends upon the exposure and the depth of study and experience in any given language as to which we become more or less fluent in, both in speaking and in understanding. It is much the same with the heart. It learns each new language of emotion by the experience of feeling, and depending on the depth and experience with each, the heart becomes more fluent in some over others, and sometimes one over any other. But, it is the relationship between the mind and the heart that truly allows us to understand these feelings, in others as well as in ourselves.

We say that it is the heart that guides us. We say to follow our heart. We say that our heart has been broken, or that it has been made whole. We say that our heart hurts, our heart leaps, skips a beat, races, that is swells and that it grows cold, or one of any other descriptive analogies. It is often what we feel inside our chest that dictates what we decide upon in our minds in any given thing of emotional importance. Poetry, literature, art, everyday speak, and even actions and expressions project and profess what it is that we feel in our hearts at any given instance or in any given circumstance. But, this is merely the hearts reaction to what our minds perceive in any given emotion of circumstance.

It is the depth of the understanding of any given thought or idea, fact or fiction, that ties into the emotional in any way or on any level for each of us individually. Depending upon what we think and believe about any given thing, it will have a different reaction in each of us depending on how important or unimportant it may be to each of us based on our individual way of thinking. The differences between what each of us considers important or unimportant has an influence on how each of us feels about any given thing or circumstance. It is our feelings about what and how we think and what we understand (or sometimes believe we understand) that are the basis, the origins, and the essence of our emotions.

The mind could not function if not for the heart performing its own function. In turn, the heart could not function if not for the mind. They are dependent upon one another. They are slave to one another. As long as the two continue to function together in any conscious state of awareness (or in some unconscious states), the mind literally controls the heart and the heart literally sustains and obeys the mind. The mind may decipher and understand what the heart feels in reaction to its thoughts, but it is the heart that feels it. This is why we speak of the heart and not the mind in almost every instance of emotion. This, however, does not mean that everyone’s mind understands the heart's obedience to the emotions created by the thoughts it produces, just as most do not realize it is the heart’s physical reaction in emotion that the mind relates its thoughts and feelings to unknowingly and descriptively. This lack of understanding applies more to the emotions emanating from others, be they audible or silent, than they do to the emotions we feel ourselves the greater percentage of the time.

How can this be so? How is it that the majority of the time, we misread, ignore, or completely overlook the emotions emanating from others when we feel those same emotions ourselves, and often express them in the same ways, whether more or less often, and whether we show our emotions deliberately, or they show despite our failed attempts at masking or hiding them? How is it that we fail to understand, or understand more fully, the torment or elation anyone other than ourselves can be going through at any given moment when we, ourselves, have been through the same or similar circumstances? Even when we have not been through the same circumstances bringing about such emotions in others, how is it that we have such a hard time understanding that the same emotions we experience can be brought about in others by completely different circumstances?

Maybe it is the amount of people who fake emotions to gain for themselves something from another in ill begotten ways so often that it becomes hard to believe what so many try to show or hide from us emotionally. Maybe it is that we are so often trying to understand those things in and for ourselves that we fail to see how those emotions affect others in their interactions with us and in their own lives. Maybe it is where some of the circumstances that bring about the same emotions for others are not quite the same circumstances that bring them about for us at times. Maybe it is where we are in a different state of emotion at times than the person or people we are interacting with, and our absorption in our own emotions takes our sight and understanding away from theirs at any given moment. It could be any one or more of these reasons, or even that we have had our own emotions misread and disregarded so many times that our own emotions have become so deep and ominous at times that we cannot see through the shadows that surround us or the elation we feel for ourselves in those moments. There are so many reasons that could be factors.

Even if we don’t feel the same emotions at the same exact time as someone else, or for the same exact reasons, we still feel the same emotions as everyone else, for despite each emotion being a different language, what we feel is universal. Despite the false witnesses of emotion who seek to deceive for whatever gain or manipulation they so choose, there are still so many good people trying to understand themselves, as well as others. In emotion, regardless of race or nationality or origin, we all speak the same emotional languages, even if some of us are more fluent in some emotions over others due to our personal experiences. If more of us would try, and some of us would try harder, to understand the emotions of others, not only from the circumstances bringing them to life, but in the effect each emotion has on each person in their moments of emotion, just as we so try to understand our own, then maybe, just maybe, there would not be so much confusion, misunderstanding, and in some cases, judgment, at the differences in what others feel and experience in any moment, whether similar or the same to our own, and hearts would heal more so than being broken, and we would see similarities over differences.

Despite how we live, where we come from, and who each of us are personally, we are all the same in what we feel in our hearts and through our minds, and even in our differences, we are still one in the same. Our minds control our hearts, and our hearts control our minds. We all feel, and we all feel the same, even if at different times than one another. Even when there are no words to say, and even when our words won’t bleed upon page or screen, or our emotions will not translate to whatever medium of expression we choose, our silence still speaks just as loudly as our words, for our every thought and action is based upon the language of emotion, and in that, we all speak the same language, even in silence.

Where it is so often that silence from another, or reflected upon another, determines our own understanding and emotion in interaction with the emotions of others, we should listen and try to understand more than just cursory what those silences reflect emotionally.  Sometimes, our silences speak just as much, if not more, than words or other mediums can allow, if we would but listen as closely in others as we do in ourselves in the languages of emotion, with our hearts and minds in equal measure, instead of letting our own emotions in our own circumstances at any given time impede or disrupt how we see or hear these emotions effecting others in their own circumstances, similar or differing, for they are something we should try to relate to, not self-sidedly compare to our own in trying to self-deceptively prove that no one understands how we feel.
It is one thing to write about such things in poetry or other forms, for we are describing our own personal experiences. It is quite another thing to allow ourselves to misunderstand, misinterpret, or ignore the emotions of others for any reason, especially because we have convinced ourselves that no one can hurt like we do or suffer as we have or are suffering, and it is often the silences that have the most impact on how we understand or misunderstand others. This is a thought that rambled on in the best of my understanding.
Samm Marie Moore Jul 2016
I can understand
That every now and again
We all hurt and we cry
And some of us feel as though we might die
While others try and cross that line
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
How sometimes pain
Can be far too real
And we sometimes lie to ourselves
With wrists kissed by knives
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
That we get so wrapped
Up in the moments that we feel
Worthless, useless, lifeless
Then cry and ache inside
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
How we lose all faith
In hope for better days
And desire pills, *****, nooses
Blades, water. and bullets
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
The feeling of loneliness
And heartbreak
With pangs of woe, hatred, and self-loathe
And thoughts flooded with depression
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
Feeling as though I
Could never amount
To the person I need to be
And feeling like I should just let go
But I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
Feeling all this awful
Having all this pain
But what I can't understand is
How I don't know why we feel this
I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can understand
That I have a disease
That yes truly we are
Searching souls in need of light
But never reaching out for help
I can't stand it
So I sure as hell can't stand for it
I can't understand
Why we search
And yearn for help
We look for outs before looking for ins
Or why we were chosen to carry this burden
I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can't understand
How it is that we
As victims of this disease
Can't understand our own psychosis
Or our own feelings
I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
I can't understand
How people see suffering
And just walk by
Like if they don't acknowledge something
In this world is wrong then it can't be
I can't stand it
So I sure as hell won't stand for it
Something I really cannot understand
Is how we
As a collective group of soon
To be strong despite feeling weak
Overcome our battle even if we experience defeat
I can't stand it
But I sure I hell can stand for it
Depression is a growing epidemic in our world today and it's an all too real problem. People who don't understand the real battle act like it's a choice we make for attention, but it's not! Who the hell would want to wake up and think "You know what, today I want to be depressed. Today, I want to be suicidal and to hurt myself." No that's not how it works! No one wants to feel that way. Depression can lead to suicide, yes. But there are ways to help before it is too late.
Please visit the link below to find out how you can help save a life.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-a-depressed-person.htm

And please know that no two depressions are the same, everyone has different methods of coping.
Javaria Waseem May 2017
For all those men who think they can understand how it feels to be a girl,
You can’t.

You can’t understand how it feels to open your eyes in the world
With everyone looking down on you and your mother
Because they were expecting a boy and not a girl.
You can’t understand how it feels to be raised up differently than boys
Because boys will be boys
And girls, girls will always have to compromise and sacrifice
For every man to enter their lives.
You can’t understand how it feels to see boys running around, chasing their dreams
While girls are stuck with barbie dolls and fairness creams
And how they are trained to sit and stand and talk and eat
And oh, my God, girls keep your voices down
The society should not even hear you breathe.

You can’t understand how it feels when a girl is growing up
While she is considered as a toy by men around her
For all the ****** frustration
Did I say something wrong? I meant “for all the love and affection”
When he comes up and says
Oh, little one, don’t be scared, I am your uncle
And we are going to play a little game
It’s called you keeping your mouth shut and not calling it a ****.
You can’t understand how it feels to have a pair of eyes on you all the time
Whether you’re in your home or out in the streets.
There are men all around, staring you, tracing your body
As if it is their responsibility to check out every girl entirely
From head to toe, whether she’s in a burqa or a pair of jeans.
You can’t understand how it feels to carry the weight of all the honor
On tiny shoulders, which are supposed to be carrying school bags
Honor of your family, your community, the society
Even protecting the honor of men with fragile masculinity
Wrapping it all in duppatas longer than their *****
While hiding your own identity behind the tags that you’re given.
You don’t know how it feels to live a life designed by men
Making every single move based on someone’s decisions
Like a lion in a circus performing tricks to please an audience.
You can’t understand how it feels to listen to all the filthy jokes they crack
About girls getting better grades or washing dishes or driving in the fast lane
No matter what a girl does, no matter how much she gets successful
At the end of the day, it is all a joke on the dinner table.
“Go bring another gol roti, beghum”
You can’t understand how it feels to carry another life inside your body for nine months
Enduring all the pain and cramps and still doing all the work
While all you hear is how it is a woman’s job to give birth
And oh, to make sure that it is a baby boy
As if a woman has the choice to choose the gender.
You can’t understand how it feels when after all the struggle they tell you it’s a baby girl
Your heart fills up with joy and sinks down in your stomach
When you think about the fate that awaits her.
And you hold her close to your chest, trying your best to protect her
From all the people looking down on you and your daughter
For being a girl.


So, you can’t. You can’t understand how it feels to be a girl.
Because if you did, you would have wished
For it all to be just words.
nooneknoes Aug 2018
I don’t understand why suicide is a bad word, it happens daily.
I don’t understand why a suicide would be one persons fault, it never is.
I don’t understand why people say they didn’t do enough, you did everything you could.
I don’t understand why people think they can fix it with a hug and a kiss, it’s a lifelong battle.
I don’t understand why people think cutting is a suicide attempt, it’s an unhealthy way to stay alive.
I don’t understand why people think wanting to die is cool or funny, it’s not.
I don’t understand why people feel the need to stare, it’s just a bandaid.
I don’t understand why they take your blades, it only causes you to search for more.
I don’t understand why people get desensitized to it after awhile, it invalidates your pain.
I don’t understand why it’s attention seeking, we always hide it.
I don’t understand why I stay at the hospitals for days, it never helps.
I don’t understand why I have to keep going, there is no,













point.
Daphne Nov 2017
please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my mood swings,
i am not my fear of talking on phones.

please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my depressive episodes,
i am not my medications i must take.

please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my fear of eating,
i  am not my fear of being replaced or ignored.

understand, i am not my depression.

understand, i am not my anxiety.

understand, i am not my PMDD.

understand, i am not my BPD.

understand, i am not my eating disorder.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am my love of cats,
and i am my admiration of everything musical.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am a lover of stationery,
and i am a lover of every single living creature.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am one who eats one too many brownies,
and i am one who cares for the entirety of the environment.

please, see past my mental disorder(s).
see the real me,
not just the chemistry in my brain.

please, see my lust for life.
see me beating stereotypes,
see me being me.
I know that this is quite the bit long, but so is my journey.
Helplessly Oct 2013
I don't understand.
I don't understand why I can see
I don't understand why I can hear
I don't understand why I can't love
I don't understand why I can't see you
I don't understand why you mad
I don't understand why I'm mad.
I don't understand you
I don't understand me.
I don't understand why.
I just don't understand.

(m.i)
AmateurPoet Oct 2017
I know you haven’t dealt with mental illnesses throughout your life
You don’t know how to explain or control them
I know you don’t know how to explain or control me

You don’t understand how to react when I say I have anxiety
You don’t understand it isn’t easy for everyone to be exactly like you
You don’t understand that the worst response is ‘Get over it.’
You don’t understand what’s happening
But I forgive you

I know you haven’t done your research
You don’t really care to know more
I know you don’t really care to know more about me

You don’t understand what it’s like to want to die
You’ve never undergone depression; you only know to get past things without something weighing you down
You don’t understand that I can’t simply suppress depression when it rears it’s ugly head
You don’t understand that I need to be alone sometimes
But I forgive you, always

I know you’re scared because you’re used to having control
I know your life shatters with every Emergency Room visit
I know your life shatters with my every visit

You don’t understand why I do the things I do
You don’t understand the things I’ve done in the past
You don’t understand why I lock myself in my room
You don’t understand why I stop talking to you
But I forgive you, continuously

I know you are worried about me
I know you regret not knowing
But I bet you don’t regret not knowing me
To: my mom, the words I can never say
Marilyn Jun 2015
There are a lot of things I don’t understand.
You told me when I was a child that “it’ll make sense when you grow up”, “you’re just too young to understand”.
And so I wait. Then I turn 18, and you give me a voter registration card and tell me I am now an adult and I am responsible. But I can’t be responsible yet. You must have forgotten all those times you told me I would understand when I was older, because there is some handbook on how to live as a normal human person that I did not receive, that I did not read.
Because here I am, an adult just like you, but I am missing this key understanding you all seem to possess.

Like how a person can look at themselves and see another race, another ***, hidden underneath. Underneath what? You are you- and if the reality we see and you see isn’t real, then what is? Painting your skin and changing your hair, your clothes, the shape of your figure makes you more fake, not more real.
And yet we put these people in our halls of fame, showering them with awards for their bravery to become who they TRUEly are, for having the courage to be themselves. But you just claimed nothing is real, and so nothing is true, right? Can anyone even be “themselves” after all?

Or how people can claim that abortion is wrong, and abortion should be banned because it is a “right” that has killed too many innocent people,
And then turn around and with a seriousness in their voices claim that the “right” to own a gun is somehow undeniable.
Are those innocent lives taken in that Charleston church, or in that Sandy Hook classroom, or the mother shot in a supermarket by her own toddler any less valuable?
What about the innocent people in rural communities in Africa who are dying from devastating diseases that we can treat and cure easily? But we have to keep those resources here in our country, it’s far too expensive to save a life, you tell me. Is it really that much of an advantage for us to sit in our three story homes eating pizza and watching netflix while the rest of the world is dying for clean water? Will the amount of money we have matter when we are the only people left to count it?
Or the families who have been torn apart by wars we decided to fight over their heads? Who are we to determine worth, anyway?

And if we have declared that we are in the business of ranking each other as somehow more or less important, then why, after pushing people to the bottom and shoving the message into their brains that their lives don’t matter, do we proceed to talk about how sorry we are and how unfortunate it is? If we get to be the God, why do we continue to allow for this pain?
In the midst of all this ranking, we all regard ourselves as the most important, the number one.
But I took many math classes on my way to adulthood, the same maths all of you say you took “when you were that age”, and so although I may not understand much, I do know that we can’t all be the 1%.

You told me to watch the news whenever I could, so I could stay informed. But the news must speak to you in a different language than what I hear, because my news only talks of the people we somehow agreed to make famous and isn’t their baby cute and oh how sad they’re breaking up. I know this can’t be what you want me to hear. You must want me to know about the refugees, the over 60 million of them, who have been displaced from their homes around the world while we sit safely in ours. Because there must be some reason we are building walls of steel around our borders and denying people admission into what we always call the greatest country on Earth. Is its greatness exclusive to people of European descent? Somehow the idea that we are all immigrants to this country, and yet some are more “American” than others makes sense to you. But even when we wave flags in parades and watch red, white, and blue fireworks light our skies, I think of our ancestors, who all came to this side of the ocean at some point, and I do not understand it.
You taught me, in American history books, of the Revolutionary War and how we stood up for freedom, of the Civil War and Civil Rights. And yet I hear today how people are suspected and shot because they are different- whether it is the color of their skin or the hijab on their head. Why did you say America is a melting *** if you refuse to let every color and flavor be a part of it?

You must want me to know about how close our world is to disaster, how the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is higher than it’s been in 650,000 years, and how the ice is melting and rivers are flooding and mud is sliding and fires are burning and animals are dying.
That must be what you want me to see, so I can understand why you are throwing away things that you should recycle, and why you all drive alone in your large SUVs when gas is so polluting, not to mention expensive. But you must understand how the prices are worth it, you must understand some reason it can still be denied that humanity is hurting this planet, which is a concept I still cannot grasp.

There must be a point in my life when I will learn to understand all of these things. When I will wake up one morning and it will all make sense: how we can see a problem and fail to address it, or how we can claim to solve the problem by arguing loudly and broadcasting our screams, and yet never saying any words that will solve anything. Because you must understand it. Otherwise how can you allow yourselves to live without taking action?
So maybe 18 is not adulthood. Maybe I am still too young. But at the same time, I am starting to feel as though you do not want to grow older either. Maybe we are all lost, spinning in circles on a never-ending rollercoaster ride. But rides make me dizzy, and amusement parks are built for kids, and so I think it’s time to stand up, and grow up.
this is more of an essay-rant than a poem, but it had to be said.
(C) 2015
bb May 2015
Make me understand when you say I love you make me understand when you say you care about me make me understand when you say I will never leave you Make me understand when you say I got you make me understand when you say I love your child if she was mind's make me understand when you say you can't do this but you still here with me make me understand when you say I want to make love to you make me understand when you say will you marry me....I need to understand.........................make me understand....
E over c2 Feb 2018
understand that we both have problems
understand that I've lost it too,
that ability

understand that the ability is retrievable
understand that ability to trust ; principle to lust

trust me

understand that jealousy is a beast that consumes me ; everyday
understand though,  that I shall slay it and display it for all to see
for all to understand

trust me

sometimes I don't understand either
but that's okay
because understanding isn't something that comes to you ; we must seek it

so

i dare you to trust me
i dare you to fall into my arms
i dare you to take that leap for i will jump with you

so

understand
understand that whatever happens i will try to understand
try to understand you ; us
try to understand it all

every fault
         weakness
                  crack
                       corner
                            weeping night or
                                      moment of ecstacy

everyday i learn
so i ask ; will you be my teacher?
Please help me understand
we call this place free
but when I want to love
you won't let me just be

Please help me understand
you really hate "my kind"
but Jesus said love all
unless there's something to find

Please help me understand
how love could be so wrong
when all I do is feel
my love is oh so strong

Please help me understand
how a mother could just quit
when her daughter needs her the most
I'd rather take a hit

Please help me understand
how self-hate is better for me
than loving another girl
I just wish you could just see

Please help me understand
how I can't change my way
how I can't see my self with another
because yes, I am gay

Please help me understand
how love could be so wrong
when Jesus said to do it
and the love I feel is so strong

Please help me understand
how one day your my friend
but when you know the real me
you try to make me bend

Please,
help me understand.
This poem comes from my heart. It may not be the most beautiful thing ever but it's honest and written with a lot of pain and me laying my heart on the line.
Annabel Lee Apr 2015
Understand this
Understand me
Understand something no one can see
Understand how I write
Understand that I'm without light
Understand the things I see
Understand that without that I'm not me
Understand who I am
Understand that I am me
And that there is no one else I would rather be
Be whoever the hell you want to be
JK Cabresos Oct 2011
All the things I understand.
I understand because I love:
I love simply because I exist,
and I exist because of you.

I understand love —
more than I understand you,
more than peace
which I have to know;
for I'm always down
to confusions at night,
from the spark of your answer
I'm wishing to ignite.

But if your heart is still blind,
I'll just wait for you
till the ravens turn to white,
till the moment the rain
will never come
for love —
love is one of the things
I understand:

I understand love the way it goes,
the time it grows,
the way it feels
and the way it shows.

I understand love the way it breaks,
the time it takes,
the way it puzzles
and the way it hurts.

And if the answer seems still unclear,
I'll still wait till it will be heard;
for I understand love —
more than other people do,
and I understand love —
because of you.
© 2010
I understand the feeling of nothing
I understand that the oceans are homes to millions of aquatic life
I understand that when a baby is born, a new life is given into this world
I understand the theory of observation states how we look at things, changes what they are
I understand god loves us
I understand we can live again, over and over every time we die
I understand the love we can receive
I understand lives can be saved
I understand people can be united for a common cause
I understand your will can go on, through the memories of others
I understand life is a gift
I don't understand whether there is meaning in any of these things
Is this poem meaningful?
Scarlet Rose Mar 2017
You said you'd love me
No matter what I did--
I understand

You said it was alright
To have bad days--
I understand

You said that I could
Make my own decision--
I understand

You said it was okay
If we disagreed--
I understand

I understand that they were
Empty words
And that in actuality
You want me to be
A Sunshine Girl
All the time

I understand.
I'll go back to faking my smile.
I'll go back to crying in secret.
If you want me to be happy
I will be.
Don't worry about me--
If you ever have, I mean.
It's alright.
I understand.
If you don't want me to show you who I really, please don't say you do.
Mary Rose Nov 2012
I don't understand how what or why
I don't understand anymore the human mind
I don't understand love hate and relationships
I don't understand anymore the human code

how can they be cold and calculating
how can they be unreal and annoying
how can they change the day of someone
with just a word a look a sound

what made the humans better
what made think they can judge
what made them think they could go after
their fellow comrade

why do some deserve unhappiness
while others think they deserve more
why do some think they are better
why some abhor

I don't understand what how or why
I don't understand anymore the human mind
I don't understand love hate and relationships
I don't understand anymore the human code
George Arkley Jan 2013
They ask me what I see,
What I see when I'm dreaming,
What I see when I'm listening,
What I see when I'm writing,
But I don't see; I understand,

I understand how minds work,
I understand how hearts work,
I understand how my world works,
But I don't understand them.

Why can't people accept it?
Why do they need to know why?
Why do they want to know?
But they don't want to know why; they want to know what.

If I see their futures,
If I see the dead,
If I see words before me,
But I don't see; I understand.

So when they ask, what do I see in you?
I don't reply. I smile,
Because when I dream,
And I listen,
And I write,
You know what I see?
What I've always seen:
You.
Fayez Mar 2015
I don't understand this world
I felt broken when a friend
Became my enemy
I don't understand.

I felt broken
When the love of my life
Walked away as if nothing existed
I don't understand.

People tell me not to get attached
To simply let go
They find me weird, even weak.
I don't understand.

I do not understand
How people just "let go"
Like people are balloons
Ready to drift away.

I do not understand
How people find it normal
To not be attached
Who do they live for?

Am I the only one
That feels this way?
Do I exist to be alone?
Then why do I crave for attachment?

I do not understand
How such  mentality
Can be considered normal
Rather than sociopathic.

I do not understand
How a world where
Not being attached
can be nothing but ****** up.
I honestly don't understand. I know you need to be strong when you let people go, but to never be attached to begin with? This is a concept I could never fathom.
NitaAnn Oct 2013
When I am told things like,
“The adult part of you needs to step it up and return …This has to happen NOW!
                                                                      - it feels like everything that’s going on inside of me…
                                                                                   the pain,
                                                                                        the nightmares,
                                                                                             the helplessness,
                                                                                                 the hopelessness,
                                                                                                      the anger,
                                                                                                            the sadness,
                                                                                                                  the fear…
                                                                                                                                    isn’t even real.
It makes me feel like I’m so inadequate and a failure and over-dramatic. It makes me feel like you think it’s all in my head and I have the power to just stop all of it and if I would just “step up” and use that power – I’d be HEALED! Yea Me! And I wonder why I don’t feel that way – why I still feel so much pain. Because of your invalidation I doubt my feelings, what happens to me, because I “choose” this because I want to feel this way. I must be a stubborn ridiculous drama because I can’t just “summon” the adult to take over when ****** chick’s in charge. "Just figure it out, Nita! You’re such a whiny baby…come on! Get over it! Deal with it…” That’s what it sounds like. AGAIN! I’ve told you that there are times when I CAN do it – but there are just as many times I can’t!

I am not asking you to ‘understand’ it – or say you ‘understand’ it – that’s not possible. But it isn’t that easy to just “summon the internal ‘rational’ Nita”– and it’s overwhelming and it feels like a boulder has fallen on top of me and there’s no strength to lift it off. And I don’t want to die – but I fear every night that the ****** angry Nita is going to **** me… that one night, she is going to be in charge, and the ‘tools’ I have presently are not going to work, nobody is going to be ‘available’ and it’s going to be the wrong night…and it’s going to be my last night. That’s real to me. Let me say this again. I DON’T WANT TO DIE! ME! I DON’T WANT TO DIE! But she does – because it doesn’t stop. And she can’t make it go away nor will she relinquish control. Not right now. Let me say this again, too: I do NOT expect you to understand how horrific it really is those nights.

                                           You couldn’t possibly because :
                                                         1. You aren’t ‘living/experiencing’ it.
                                                         2. If you did understand, you wouldn’t tell me to “step it up
                                                            and take charge” because you would understand that it isn’t
                                                            even possible to do that.

I know that you have tolerated my pain for a long, long, very long time. And I am immeasurably grateful. I do feel the love and acceptance in your compassion and hope and commitment to our friendship. However, at the same time I feel so disconnected from you and unsure how to respond to such feelings. I wish I knew why and how to fix that. And I know that all the ‘pain and fear’ is not going to let up any time soon and I am so exhausted I don’t know how much more I can survive, or if I even want to. It’s so depressing that some days I cannot even move and I want to die just to get some relief!

Tonight the pain in my head is excruciating – it travels down the back of my neck into my abdomen – and nothing touches it. I desperately want to hurt myself tonight. It will make it stop – at least temporarily. I bite the inside of my lip until blood flows – trying not to do further damage.
There are voices all talking at once now, and at this moment, I don’t know if I will be here tomorrow, or if I am what state of mind I will be in.

I am so lost right now. I have tried to believe that it won’t always be this way but I feel so depleted and hopeless. I cannot take care of myself right now. I want to be alone but when I’m alone, with no one to distract me, or talk to me, the piercing truth of my reality cuts into my heart and burns through my soul. I am so drained I cannot even think straight. My heart aches….this is the roughest patch I’ve hit and I can’t believe I’m still alive.

The pain I feel is unexplainable. I’m so tired and frustrated and I feel like it’s all just too complex to deal with. Too multifarious for me to understand…and the therapist would say, “It’s not, it’s so common and understandable, and you can do this…just keep on keeping on.” But he’s wrong. Clearly he doesn't understand…I can assure you…I am dying more every day.

Oh, wait, I’m a “survivor”, right? I forgot. I have tried to collaborate my shattered thinking to form some rational simplicity from my emotional intricacy. I’ve tried to understand. But my mouth forms words my brain is unable to process. What I do understand is that the human mind and body shields a child from the horrible truth so the child can survive. She can survive but not realize how she has been shaped, altered, wounded, until she grows up to become a woman and it gets so bad that she feels like she’s nothing, nobody, worthless. I understand that because I had no idea how much he really shaped who I am today. I feel nameless, fragmented, unlovable because I cannot love myself. He cut me into pieces…so many pieces I don’t know which pieces belong to “me” and which belong to “him”. I cannot sort through them.

See, now I am afraid that the only way I see this working for me is to shut down completely. I really do not know how else to do it, the “feelings” are just too big and overwhelming for me right now. I barely make it week to week, day to day, really. I do not have a good support system in place right now. So much is happening inside of me and I don’t want to rely others, I don’t want to “count on” others for support…

I’m struck by how little my life has become. I am afraid and I can’t even tell anyone. Afraid and overwhelmed by what goes on inside my head and my body. So big, so real, so much stronger than what is outside of me. So sharp…I feel it, cutting me, stabbing me, with its serrated razor-sharp pieces. It’s painful…
I DON'T WANT TO DIE! But she does. And I do not expect you to understand. I just want you to BE HERE for her!
Just Me Dec 2013
How do I make you understand
     Understand what you mean to me
          How your words cut me
How do I make you understand
      Understand that I don't know what I would do without you
           Even though your words cut me
How do I make you understand
      Understand that I love you
            Even though I know you don't love *me
Falling Apart Jul 2015
They say you don't understand, your life is perfect.
But they don't understand.
On the outside I live in a fairy-tale world
where my parents live together
and my father has a job and I am a straight a student.
I have a house and food
and I have siblings and people all around me.
They say I don't have a reason to be sad
but what they don't understand is the mirror is my worst enemy
and I hate myself.
I hate myself so much and no one really knows or loves me.
I have see the blade at 2 AM and I have cried so hard I wanted to throw up. I have ripped open my leg just so I have some type of feeling.
I have trust issues and apparently I should be in a mental institute.
I scream at myself and beg for death to over take me.
They say I don't understand but I do.
I understand how it is to fake laughs and smiles all day,
to be exhausted and wanting sleep so the bad feelings go away
but not being able to.
I understand the fear of your shorts slipping and someone might see
and I know the feeling of loneliness
and I know of begging God to help you
but no one comes.
I understand how hard this life really is even if I don't show it.

— The End —