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Hunter Taylor Feb 2019
My heads so hard today
As I stare at my scars today
And maybe I'm afraid today
That tomorrow will be the same as today

I don't hear what you say today
So I won't change today
But maybe I'll scream today
Or maybe I'll bleed today

I will not win today
I will lose again today
This is my fault today
I have my fought today

I can't see to escape today
I'm stuck in place today
If I try to run today
I would chase the sun today

But tomorrow became today
And I choose to change today
I won't be the same today
I accept my pain today

I'll do my best today
To use what's in my chest today
My head will have a seat today
I won't be beat today

I am so bruised today
But at least I flew today
My wings were healed today
My fate was sealed today
David Moss Sep 2015
Today is the day I will live, or I will die

Today I traveled to await the outcome  of my life


Today is scarier than yesterday that's for sure
Today could be my last

Today I might seem a little dramatic to you
Today to you might be just like yesterday

Today for me though, has been looming around the corner for so long

Today has finally come, and isn't going to be like any other today


Today the reality of existence for me sinks in

Today I will go to sleep and I hope I will wake up

Today I am tired, I am alone, I am scared


Today's sleep will be long either way



Today I am definitely unprepared

Today is something we will all one day face

Today doesn't feel easier just because it happens to us all


Today is, without a doubt, my Alpha, or my Omega

Today will be the first chapter of new beginnings, or the final chapter of an old tale

Today I feel like I haven't done enough with my life
Today regret and fear runs through my mind like wildfire
Today I promise myself  If I make it through, today and everyday after will be treated more sacred

Today I am telling myself lies just to get through today

Today I contemplate death. I contemplate prayer I contemplate afterlife I contemplate heaven and I contemplate hell

Today isn't a day I wish upon anyone

Today wouldn't be so bad


If only I knew


Tomorrow would come
Going in for surgery tomorrow. Pretty ******* scared I will die. I've told no one who knows me this feeling. It felt easier to tell it to random strangers.
Emeka Mokeme Jun 2018
Just for today,
be peaceful.
Just for today,
be loving.
Just for today,
be compassionate.
Just for today,
be merciful.
Just for today,
be kind.
Just for today,
be better.
Just for today,
be understanding.
Just for today,
have pity.
Just for today,
be forgiven.
Just for today,
live.
Just for today,
meditate.
Just for today,
pray.
Just for today,
smile.
Just for today,
be happy.
Just for today,
just listen.
Just for today,
relax.
Just for today,
be helpful.
Just for today,
make love.
Just for today,
stop, don't ****.
Just for today,
live in harmony.
Just for today,
be respectful.  
Just for today,
give a hug.
Just for today,
be generous.
Just for today,
be alive.
Just for today,
survive.
Just for today,
understand that you are part of the healing process to the earth. Together we all can contribute to each others lives to bring peace amongst our world family tree for survival.
Just for today let's join each other to bring healing to our homes, our family and our communities. Be part of it. Live in harmony. Each of us have something to give. Look inside you, it's there and it's free.
©®2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
Danielle Shorr Apr 2015
Today I am human
Today I got two legs out of bed to face a world that is sometimes cold
Today I walked tired feet just to make sure they still do their job right
Today I ran fingers through hair and remembered there were teeth to brush, a face to wash
Today I woke to a bottle of water half full by my nightstand
Today I drank it's contents with a handful of vitamins
Today I remembered the importance that breakfast holds so I had it
Today I dressed a body that now and then can feel unfamiliar
Today I pushed the sheets back on the bed to make it almost neat
Today I fluffed a pillow to its full extent
Today I put lotion to skin that is too dry from the California sun
Today I put gas in my car
Today I fed myself without guilt
Today I filled my stomach with meals instead of anxiety
Today I breathed
Today I sighed
Today I did what most consider to be routine, but is so much more to me
All of these simplicities are proof of surviving
Doing so is not always easy
But I do
Today I lived even if I did so quietly
Today I am alive
And tomorrow I will be as well
Tomorrow I will say thank you to today
Tomorrow I will appreciate the effort of before
Tomorrow I will be too proud for too little
Tomorrow I will repeat
Tomorrow I will try again
Tomorrow I am human.
Emeka Mokeme Jun 2018
Always remember that,
just for today,
it is well.
Just live for today.
love for today.
Believe for today.
Dream for today.
Be Inspired for today.
Hope for today.
Change for today.
Be respectful for today.
Do the right things for today.
Laugh for today.
Embrace that which endears
your heart today.
Invest in yourself today.
Dare to do today.
Leave your comfort zone
and be that which you want.
Be gentle to yourself today.
Always be true to yourself today.
Today visit the elderly
and your grandparents,
they are and will be your ancestors.
Remember the law of amra,
be generous and give today.
Today be kind.
Treat the weak and afflicted
with compassion today,
you will find yourself
in their place someday.
Arise now today
and do that which you
have never done before.
Remember you did not fail,
just do it differently today.
God speed you today,
and always.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
Star BG Jan 5
Today is yesterdays dreams,
and tomorrows accomplishments.

Today is a yesterday wrapped in
present to opened so they become
tomorrows precious gifts.

Today is a whisper of the past just tweaked
with grand tomorrows.

Today is the day I write a masterpiece filled with yesterdays thoughts and tomorrows dreams.

Today is yesterdays sorrows wrapped in paper
gold that shines like sun to dry up tears making room for tomorrows with new wrappings.

Todays schedule is yesterdays thoughts, ready to expand into the tomorrows.

**
Yesterday don't leave home without it for it fuels tomorrows as todays motor revs.

Yesterday is infused in blood stream so heart beats with flow of aspirations today and riches for tomorrow.

Yesterday is culmination of tears and laughter
that unleash dam to float in more tears
but this time with a shinny dream boat.

One part Yesterday, and two parts today with table spoon of tomorrow makes a grand recipe for life.

Yesterday I recall mistakes well not to repeat in today so errors do not fill tomorrows.

Yesterday provides magical insights, so Today and tomorrow brings peace.

Yesterday becomes today and today becomes yesterday so... use it well.

Yesterday I planted a dream seed. It sprouted in today and grew tall inside tomorrows.

****
Tomorrow is todays yesterdays, so step lightly as not to mix them up.

Tomorrow will be the new today and is the first day of my life.

Tomorrow is today simmered in the sauce of life.

Tomorrow I will wake up inside today to live authentically inside peace.

Yesterday is today turned inside out so wisdom comes in tomorrow.

*****
Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow are houses of God so one is never homeless or alone.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow is journeys gift to celebrate as if its Christmas.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow are the chapters in our books of life. Write them well.
just playing with the words today tomorrow and yesterday
Stephanie Irvin Aug 2013
I’m eighteen today.
My shirt is crumpled on the floor. My socks are still on.
I’m eighteen today.  
My eyes try and focus on the ceiling. That’s cheap tile. This house is old.
I’m eighteen today.
I drank too many beers.  I think my cigarettes are by the pool..
I’m eighteen today.  
I’m ******* Steve. He doesn’t know my name.
I’m eighteen today.
Not like I thought he’d  be. His cheeks are rough and sudden.
I’ll be eighteen tomorrow.
I’ll write down his name. I know it by heart.  Number 28.

I’m nineteen today.
I’m in a bathroom. The light is off. I’m kissing girls.
I’m nineteen today.
At a house that I couldn’t find my way home from.
I’m nineteen today.
Her hands squeeze my *******. She’s not into it, I can tell.
I’m nineteen today.
Four people are at my feet. Hands pull at my skirt.
I’m nineteen today.
I’m loving this. But it will be over before it gets good.


I’m twenty today.
A plastic cup in my hand. He’s pushing up on me.
I’m twenty today.
She’s standing on the stairs. I know I’ll walk her home later.
I’m twenty today.
The grass is cold and wet. Her hand on my arm.
I’m twenty today.
Walk her to the door. I wish she’d ask me up.
I’m twenty today.

I’m 31 today.
He’s naked next to me. He knows I love him.
I’m 31 today.
He asked me if I was gay. Said he just wants to know.
I’m 31 today.
I smile and say no and take his **** in my hand.

I was 22 that day.
Driving her back from the hospital.
I was 22 that day.
Her small warm hand rubbed the back of my neck.
I was 22 that day.
It was the first time I felt whole.
I was 22 that day.

I’m 34 today
And he’s stopped asking me.
Niesha Radovanic Aug 2017
today i listen to "Switzerland" by daughter. the soothing hums of her voice melt my soul. i'm dreaming of sitting on a yellow porch wrapped around the home i want to own. i sip green tea as a fall in love with you. today i learn to not let hands hold hands but to let hands hold hearts. to let fingers intertwine with feelings. today i learn to kiss birthmarks goodmorning. and to kiss bruises goodnight. today i let you put me in the bathtub let the warm water make waves that crash on my skin. let you lather me in big blue bubbles of hope. today i pray the hope bubbles never pop. not because i want them to pop tomorrow but because you told me to live in the present not the future. i hope to buy you a present in the future. today i eat fruit loops because your tastebuds love sugar. and i hope the next time we kiss i'll taste like the sweetest sugar you know. today i throw aveda smoothing infusion in my damp hair and scrunch it around until i've crinkled every crisp perfectly. today i brush my teeth with crest whitening toothpaste. let the bristles capture every leftover crumb of those crispy colorful circles. today i slip on my denim black skirt with rips and pull the black abbey road tank top over my head and tie the once white laces on my black high top vans.  i brush a light gold eyeshadow over my fatigued carmel eyelids and swipe mascara on each of my lashes, i put my cartilage piercing in, then my two ear piercings and i hook my black hoop into my nose. today i don't dress for you. today i dress for me because i'm starting to want to maybe try loving myself again. i have so much love bundled in big brown blankets ready to be pulled off. i've given all of my love to you because i stopped loving myself. but today you made me want to try wanting to love myself again. today i feel more like a person than a speckle of dust. today i don't see myself as leftovers in the fridge. today i see myself as a fresh cooked meal i want to eat. today i walk out of the front door. hair half up half down, back straight, teeth shining, eyes glowing, tears streaming down my face because it's pretty freaking crazy when you want to live again. today i am not a ray of sun. today i am the sun and i hope to brighten my heart with a dose of pure vitamin D. today i wear a colorful crystal crown because victoria always told me she didn't care who i was but i was a *******  queen. today i place a vase on my kitchen table filled with sunflowers and daisies because roses are overrated. today i gather up all of the scraps of rage and sadness and build myself a castle of poetry. today i listen to "Switzerland" by daughter. the soothing hums of her voice melt my soul. im sitting on the yellow porch wrapped around the home i own. i sip green tea as i fall in love with you all over again.
Caitlin Jan 2015
Today I was called spoiled.
Today I almost cried.
Today I reached my limit.
Today I fell.
Today I learned that I can't expect anything from you.
Today I lived.

Today I was ridiculed.
Today I was pushed.
Today I was disappointed.
Today I was tired of putting up with your crap.
Today I lived.

Today I was done with life.
Today I was discouraged.
Today I was alone.
Today I learned.
Today I lived.

Today I loved.
Today I learned.
Today I lived
J Jul 2017
How to conquer the world when you are manic and preserve it when you are depressed.

I had a close friend send me a text a few weeks ago
Reminding me how to breathe and that I had to get out of bed,
I thought if she could have read my mood from the west coast
As I rotted in cotton comforters in the east, I must have been pretty obvious
Maybe it’s because we have been friends for ten years or because
I plaster every up and down online to vague audiences, I cast out my emotions
Like frayed fishing line, trying to catch even a glimpse of someone who relates.
But when this friend texted me she said something that might help balance out
The high-highs with the unbearable lows is writing how I feel when I am both.
I did my best to put the feeling of flying at 100mph upside down with wings made of silken sheets into words but the minute I did they turned into wings of concrete and I lost my focus again. And so I went to answer my friend and I said ‘here is how to conquer the world when you are manic”

I am caffeine therapy,
engulfed in energy
I am yellow, I am green
I am everything at once,
I feel everything all at once.
Did I mention?
Hey, I'm really excited to tell you
I’m gonna save the world,
All of it.
Today.
try and stop me.
I woke up at 4 this morning
Watched the sun swallow shadows
Like it was yearning for something dark
To balance itself out.
Too much light is dangerous too.
I always like to watch the sunrise before I go out to save the world, Waking up early always gives me so much more time And today I will do a lot,  I want to save the world. I hope you know I'm going to.

I am yellow, I am green. I am everything at once.
I am traffic jams spread out across freeways,
I am six trips in a row to the same store because I kept forgetting what I needed,
Music playing so loud you can’t hear anything else
I wash down amphetamines with coffee
I am now Narrow energy. I'm traveling a perfectly paved road Home to a room where I cannot see the floor, but that’s okay because I’m
Going to save the world today.
It doesn't matter how fast I'm going as long as you see me get there.
I am validation starvation in calorie counting notebooks,
I am looks from strangers whose eyes wonder loudly how I got marks on my arms or how I'm bouncing my foot like energy is spewing out my body but still have bags under mine that insinuate exhaustion I never learned how to overcome.
I am a math equation stuck inside the text book
From that semester I dropped out;
I am heat energy dancing inside shattered beakers, I am weathered worn out sneakers still being used because it’s hard to let go,
I'm kissing catalytic conversations with those I love because I need a reaction to feel like they're listening,
I am potential energy ready to become kinetic,
I am energetic and today, I have the heart to save the world.
I am off track, my bad. Its like an “ADHD starter pack” but there's no warranty or handbook.
Anyway, I started by re-enrolling in classes because I have always been good at school,
Except for when I stopped going but I have always been good at school and I can understand why everyone around me might expect me to succeed, I emit determination from my mouth when my heart feels empty, but I did sign back up because
This time I'm ready, and this  time I won’t ever feel low again, I think i beat it finally
I feel it in my bones as I cross busy streets without looking either way
I'm invincible and incredible
I am yellow I am green
I am hydro energy feeding off the
Big deep blue sea,
I am gratitude as an action
Not a trinket I can break
and today I will save the world
and tomorrow I will not be low,
And today I will conquer my fears, all 647
And tomorrow I will tell my friends I love them
And today I will remind myself that skin cells
Replace themselves every 28 days
So I only have to wear long sleeves for that many more
And tomorrow I will wake up and do my homework
And today I will surely save the world,
I will never feel so low as I have ever again
How could I when there is so much to smile for?
I’m laughing so loud my neighbors are asking,
And my friends think I’m doing better and I tell them I am. I am.
I am yellow, I am serene,
I feel it in my skin that I am better
recovery feels like Holding hands at sixteen and iced tea, And this is easy!
I am yellow, I am green.
I am yellow, I am green.
I feel everything all at once.
floating between causes, altruism is a virus, slithering through my veins, celebrating how much I will do today. Did I mention how much I will do today?
I'm going to save the world.
After signing back up for classes I spread out my day like magazine clippings I'll never put onto a “dream board” because I will most likely forget about them, my dreams make better notes in my iphone where I can see them
As I check my contacts to see who I can talk to today. Or who will listen. I wonder who will listen. Or what kind of game I will play to make someone listen.
I am yellow, I am green. It’s noon and I am flying.
Here is how else I will save the world:
I will make sure I save myself first,
I'll clean my room and go to the gym
work off three weeks of sweets with three hours on the treadmill, I forgot how good it feels to run and I know that this is the last time I will ever, ever give up.
I’m better now. I run on a track that loops back in on itself because I find comfort in knowing it will always return no matter how many times I lose sight of where I'm going, I would get lost were I to run outside because when you are everything all at once you seldom stay in place, God there is just so much to look at. I will never look back at who I was even as late as yesterday.
I get lost inside rubix cube mentalities and short lived craft store hobbies, but I'm better.
I am yellow, I am green. And today I am going to be a wildlife photographer, And an artist, and when people ask me what I want to be I tell them
I will work for the United Nations and that I am going to save the world, they believe me and ask me how I'll do it and I realize that I have yet to start saving the world.
I woke up at 4, so sure today was the day,
I felt it in my heart like the time I took two of my adderalls by mistake because I forgot that I took one that day, I felt it and it was real. Throbbing like a bump from falling but real. I lost track of that feeling for a second and now it is fleeting.
What is happening?

I am yellow, I am green.
I am yellow, i am yellow I am yellow,
Are you still listening?
I'm potential energy locked inside a pendulum
Hanging from a chemical tree that dies fast and grows slowly, Im staggered progress dressed up like empathy, I'm baggage too heavy
I am yellow, I am green.
I am fleeting energy
The kind that sparks a few times
On telephone lines turned pink infront of sunsets in july, gone before your friends can see it too.
They never really see it, too.
I am yellow, I am green

I forgot to shower every day this week but
I'm too tired to get out of bed,
What is happening? Can you remind me what I was doing?
I was supposed to save the world today
I’m sorry.
I was really going to save the world today
I'm taking in as much caffeine as I can without
Making my heart feel like it will push its way
Through my ribs out of my chest
Though being able to feel in my chest again
Might not be so bad. I’m stuffing smoke inside my cavities to fill them up, doing my best to keep feeling inside the skin I wear when I can feel it
Going numb, even it hurts at least I can feel it, I wish I could inject caffeine right into my veins,
I wish you could jump infront of moving trains without Hurting everyone on board,
I wish I felt less like this but I wish I felt more,
I reread texts from last night where transitioning
Felt like fist fighting recovery, her having one up on me,

I am crimson, I am grey, I am fleeting energy.
I’m so sorry.


I thought I said that before
And I might have but I forgot, I feel cloudy
I stumbled through steel wool tall grass to make it
Out of bed today and the weight of every single mistake I have ever made feels like it will surely break my spine Right in half, I don’t know if I will make it through today.
I wish someone would save me today.
I am crimson, I am grey.
I need someone to save my world today.
Kenzee Rae Jan 2015
My Granny died today,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
So I began to pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
I've wept and wept all day,
So I began to pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
My rock has gone astray,
I've wept and wept all day,
So I began to pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
Her soul has gone to play,
My rock has gone astray,
I've wept and wept all day,
So I began to pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
So I bought her a bouquet,
Her soul has gone to play,
My rock has gone astray,
I've wept and wept all day,
So I began to pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
In the ground she'll lay,
So I bought her a bouquet,
Her soul has gone to play,
My rock has gone astray,
I've wept and wept all day,
So I began pray,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.

My Granny died today,
I don't know what to say,
My Granny died today.
valencia May 2019
September

from dust and broken glass, from silver and stone, an army arises from their shallow graves. and to this day, no one can remember that this is how it all began.

demons run when a good man goes to war.
that’s what they have always told me. there haven’t been any good men here for a while then, because I can still see demons lurking around corners like shadows.


there have always been things in my life I have learned not to question. you do not doubt the stars in the sky, the ground beneath your feet, or the strength of the northernland. we do not question the northernland.

i like to ask myself questions-
after the sky fell, who gathered it all up and put it back in the sky?
they won’t tell us in school.
when the sky fell, what did the stars taste like?
i think it would taste like fire and pain and sugar, like drinking lighting hot lemonade in the summer.
we don’t ask in school.

thursday



there has never been enough. money, food, water. in school, they teach us about the war. the war has no name, it is just the war. maybe it will someday. no one dares to name it. you do not name the devil.

we bow to the throne of the northernland, unaware that is was born of lies. the cameras are our leader now. they are all we have ever known.

on Sundays we go to church and pray. the crosses will never hang right and are always turning upside down and the priest is always looking pale. we all look pale, now. the cloud of dust from northernland blocks out the sun most days.


friday
I went to Lou's house today. she has a red front gate and ivy growing in her garden. we kicked a deflated kickball around for a bit, but she kept looking over her shoulder. she pretended to drop the ball behind her but couldn't bend down to grab it because her arm is broken, so I went over. tears were hiding beneath her eyes, but she did not say anything. then her dad came out and watched us play. i didn’t like his smile, it was too wide.




when i wanted to go home, he offered to walk me home. i said i could do it by myself. wouldn’t want you to get into trouble he said, somehow smiling wider. lou made herself laugh and smiled too, but it wasn’t a real smile. as we walked home, he didn’t turn his head away from me, even to cross the street. i looked deep into his pupils, which were so wide they covered the colored part. i swore i could see someone behind them, watching. i didn’t say anything. after i went into my house,
he stood out front for a long time, watching. then i heard. shout from the basement but the door was locked as always so i got scared about that instead and when i looked out front again he was gone.

saturday

today in school i fell and skinned my knuckles. the blood that came was strange, reddish-orange. teacher grabbed my hand and bandaged it right away before i could get a good look at it. she said you mustn’t tell your mother.


teacher doesn’t know that mother went to go live in the White Building, a place for people who hear voices and don’t like the government and have to be restrained so they don’t hurt people. i don’t say any of this, i just nod my head ok.

sometimes i worry, about alistair. he’s a gravedigger and everyday when he comes home he looks so empty. he won’t tell me why he’s so sad but once i heard him tell canary that the graves just get bigger everyday and then after a long time he said but there are always to many bodies

i tried to listen more but he found me behind the wall and when i asked him why there were so many bodies he said there’s a sickness, that’s all
then after that teacher made us all wear cottons masks that are itchy and make it hard to breathe.


sunday

on the telly today the man in the suit announcer we had another victory but i don’t understand how we can have victories without winning the war. the man in the suit tried to show a picture but all we saw was a blurry mess because alistair said sometimes things can’t be shown on the telly but i don’t know why. i doesn’t make sense why they would restrict anything anymore. we now what it looks like. a flat landscape paved with bodiesaccented with blood.
we aren’t supposed to know about that though.

in school, teacher tells us there have been no casualties of the war. but only when principal is watching. when he’s not she’s stuffs our coats beneath the crack and the door and tunes the telly to a different station- one that’s fuzzy that she has to hold a hanger to in order for us to see anything. and she’ll flip back and forth between leader of the northernland and say this is propagandam  and then turn the **** back to the man in the suit, and then say this is the truth

i don’t know why teacher tells us these things.

monday

listen- do you hear it? i can hear planes buzzing overhead. teacher says to ignore it. teacher says we aren’t supposed to hear.
alistair never lets me go in the basement. he keys the key round his neck, even when he’s sleeping. he says it’s dangerous down there. but i’ve always been too curious- that’s what principal says. he looks at me with those stern different colored eyes and says curiosity killed the cat every time ms. hoth brings me to his office for doodling. i still have no idea what a cat is. cardeully, he erases my drawings and put the paper neatly into his desk. we waste nothing here. go home is all he says. but i know what he means. walk home in silence and do not ask questions, do not look behind curtains and do not wander off.

today mari has her birthday party. her mum wasn’t there. i can tell lou noticed because her eyes were scanning the room all strange, but she didn’t say anything. i didn’t ask. mari looked all scared and the camera of the ceiling fan hadn’t moved from her in a long time. i wondered who was watching her.

later, mari pulled me beneath her bed. i tried to say something but she covered my mouth with her hand. they’ll take me for telling you
was all she said.
but i have to tell someone.

i knew the feeling.
after a long time she took her hand off of my mouth and said mums in the garden








while she opened her presents, the mandatory ones from the northernland that are no fun, i tried to look out the window to see her mum. the only thing i could see in the garden was a pile of freshly turned earth. lou caught me looking and grabbed my wrist. she said you mustn’t look.


tuesday
when i come home there is a woman sitting at the kitchen table, and with her there are four ravens. she is royal, i can feel it in the way she sits and breathes and just exists. she looks at her hands and then at me. but this lady is not a guardian angel, like the kind canary says is always looking out for us. i am not an angel. she says. she is not from the northernland, but not from here either. i know is all i say, because i am not alarmed that she is here and that there are cameras and that she does not belong. i know she is not real. and she says i am a godess. i do not doubt her. she sits up, and puts the ravens about her in her hair and on her shoulders and the like. this is an omen. i nod, because why else would a goddess be at my kitchen table? and then she is gone because she was never really there, and i wash my face and make sure i am no longer seeing people that are not there, because i don’t want to go live in the White Building like mum.


wednesday

they are always watching us at recess- we mustn’t stand or walk anymore. we have never been allowed to run. there are cameras everywhere now, too. they see everything like a great waking monster that never sleeps. i thought i would feel safe with the cameras, but the back of my neck feels prickly like there’s somebody standing behind me and when i spin around and look the mushroom is empty except for me.

the only place there aren’t cameras is under alistair bed. i go and hide there sometimes, just to forget the feeling of being watched. that’s where i read the stories that alistair’s written. in them, he talks about a sky as blue as the ocean.
i have never been to the ocean. i remember the sky used to be blue, but never really. now it is a sickly grey.
canary caught me looking at the sky once and pushed my head down. she said don’t let them catch you looking or they’ll put cameras in your eyes.
i believe her.

wednesday

today we went to mandatory meeting, where they passed out rations. there is always less and less then there was last time. while we were there they made us watch a video where the leader of the northernland talked about how well we were doing in the war and how this would almost be over soon. he also reminded us that if we were past curfew there would be serious punishments.
for rations we got a red powder called kool-aid that you mix with water to make juice. we also got a loaf of white bread, a browned banana, circular crackers and a warm jacket. alistair took the jacket and left for work.

canary always looks worried. ever since mom went bonkers i haven’t seen her not wearing her worry lines. i can’t believe she’s only six years older than me. to alistair that doesn’t seem like a long time. to me, six years is an eternity. as long as a war.

canary watched alistair go at the window for a long time, long after he disappeared into the fog. then, all of a sudden, she turned around and said i’ll help you with your homework. i didn’t tell her that i knew how to multiply fractions. mom always used to say that if you were busy you weren’t worried. canary made me a cup of red juice and her hands shook so much she dropped the glass.
pity, that was our last one. it seemed to shatter in slow motion, and i could see every piece break slower and slower.

the day seemed to go by slowly, the cold sleeping into my bones and making me sleepy. i wa so thirsty, so thirsty. i wasn’t allowed anymore water till friday though. if you drink to much of it at once you get sick. i begged canary to let me drink from the stream in the garden but she wouldn’t. it’s black and thick, and smells like nail polish.

the last time i punted my nails was for dads funeral. i remember canary used her last bottle of nail polish to paint my fingers black, so as not to have anybody see the dirt under my fingernails. it didn’t matter, in the end. we were the only ones who attended.

canary is flying together the pieces of the glass with tacky glue. i can’t bear to tell her that all the glue in the world would never be enough. the shards are too small. she’s fills it back up with red juice and fora moment all is well, but then the glass can’t take it anymore and collapses with force into her hands. kool-aid runs down her fingers like blood. intermixed is real blood, from the cuts the glass left. she looked at it for a long time, letting the blood run down her fingers like that.

then she said what a waste

november

alistair is sick. principal gave us ibuprofen but all it does it make him feel empty. he begs us not to give him more but it’s the only things that will take his fever down. he thrashes in bed and screams ****** ****** and i worry he is going to be like mom, always seeing things and hearing things. maybe he can go live with mom in the White Building. mom would like that, if she could remember alistair.

i have been sleeping at school, because canary doesn’t want me to get sick. the dorms are cold and empty and heavily sanitized. i miss canary and i miss alistair but canary won’t let me come home. i don’t know what she would do if i was sick. so i stay. and every night, i say to myself i hate the northernland i hate the northernland i hate
but i say it in my head,  because i am worried they will come for me.
sometimes i worry about canary getting sick. she says promise i wont, sunshine but i know she never worries about herself. teacher gave me flowers to send to alistair. the card says “get well soon” it has been a long time since i have seen real flowers. most are fake, like the ones teacher sent alistair. i don’t mind. it’s the sentiment that is important.





sunday

today at church preacher said and let us pray for our sick
they have stopped re adjusting the crosses. the remain upside down and no one looks. except me. i was looking, while we were supposed to be praying, but canary pushed my head down and said  pretend you can’t see them.
that’s  when i knew she sees things too.

saturday
i remember when i came home from school and found mum. there was paper all over the house, because she’s been doing her drawings. it was on the walls and floor and crinkled up under the boxes, all pictures of the northernland and the pastor and everything. and she said there is no god. there is no god. there is no god. alistair covered her mouth but it was too late, the northernland men were already here. she drew here pictures more violently scribbling and slashing with my art pencils. she drew alistair and canary and father, but not me or her. there was lump in my throat. she picked a new piece of paper and drew god, above us all, but she kept saying there are no gods there are no gods there are no gods, and she slashed and scribbled at the paper, and the northernland men were knocking, watching us through the cameras, and mum pulled me down next to her. i could see blood beneath my skin she held me so tight, and she had. a thousand stars in her eyes that were all spinning, saliva dripped down her chin and  she did not look my my mum anymore. she looked lost. she said the gods have abandoned us.


after the northernland men took her to live in the White Building, her drawings were left on the floor. alistair gathered them all up and threw them in the basement and locked the door. then he put the key around his neck. at least, i think that’s what’s in the basement. i have never told alistair, but i took the last drawing she did, of me and her and a boy. i stuck it with glue to the very back of my dresser drawer, so no one will ever find it. in the picture, my lips looks like there are sewn together with greenish yarn. this has always scared me. mums mouth is open and she is screaming, but there is no tounge inside her mouth. the boy looks normal, and he is holding my hand. this boy is not alistair. this has always scared me. this has always scared me. this has always scared me. it’s only a picture.



monday

i keep finding myself in that moment-
when canary broke the glass and cut her hands, spilling red juice and blood like lines on her hands. she sat there for a long time, just looking. maybe it’s stuck with me because she was just looking, when we’re never supposed to look.

the clocks tick slower and slower everyday.


tuesday

teacher wasn’t at school today. instead we have a woman with blinding hair and an accent from the northernland. nobody asked where teacher went.
we don’t want to know. the hanger and the telly were gone, too.

when i got home i was feeling really sick with tears. i told alistair they’ve taken teacher. his eyes widened and he ****** his head toward the camera. canary dig her fingernails into my arm. of course they haven’t was all he said. that’s silly.

then he looked off into nothing for a long time. i just looked straight into the camera.


wednesday

at recess the northernland woman was acting real strange. she sat with us on the pavement and when the camera tune we it’s invasive x-ray eyes away she whispered your teacher has been taken by the northernland.

nobody said anything. nobody says anything, anymore. i think if we even spoke to many of us would cry. and then the cameras would look at us. so we just stared into space.
in our hearts, we already knew. but i still wanted to scream.


thursday

today was idyllic. sun came through the smoke and lit the sidewalk up orange. the woman from the northernland asked us what we would want if we could have any powers. almost everyone said healing. i said flying. maybe it’s because i’m selfish, all i want to do is fly away. but maybe it’s because i’m honest. i’m getting tired of not hearing the truth.

just to see if i could do it i ran all the way home. my feet seemed to leave the ground, its was as if i was actually flying every time i took a step. but then i landed and took off again.
i hadn’t run in a long time.
my chest seemed to hurt with a good  pain, if pain can be good.
i wanted to tell alistair but canary wouldn’t let me see him. i just need to you to get warm was all she said. over and over. but i’m boiling he said. it was quiet for a long time. it’s going to be alright. she said it again. twice. three times.

you know that feeling when you feel sick to your stomach, not because of disease but of fear. and mixed up in that sickness are tears and realization and you feel weak and helpless.  that’s how i felt when they took mum. that’s how i feel now.

i don’t know why, but a sudden hatred for the northernland boils up in my stomach. i think i am going to be sick. i turn around and run, run as fast as i can until i am at a strange gravel alleyway hidden behind some trees. i rest there for a long time, looking into the darkness after the cliff face. i know where i am. i am in the abyss, a place forbidden so long ago by alistair i had never thought to come here. i don’t break rules, i just ask questions. but i am here. at the abyss. where nobody should ever be.

friday
death is a sense. just like touch or smell, death is a feeling. i could feel it in my heart. in my bones and in my veins. it crowded about our house like fog in the summer. and all i wanted in the world was for it to go away.

teacher today told us about the northernland, how it was kind and safe and loved it’s people. the lie seemed to cuddle in her throat. nobody has ever gotten kindness from the northernland. the northernland started the war and has starved and survieled us to no avail. i know there was a time before, but i do not understand how that could have been. but i still haven’t  made peace with the cameras.


the abyss is where people go to go crazy. your screams bounce off the walls of the hole, but you cannot see them because it does not have edges. you cannot see the bottom or the sides of anything, just darkness. then the northernland men in the gas masks come in their yellow trolley and take you away. the abyss is where the devil lives, in a bottomless hole to the middle of the world.







saturday

i met a boy who lives in the abyss. he is made of sunshine and glitter, and plastic and paint and peace and everything that is beautiful.

but he is not really there. instead, he is almost see through. sometimes he is there and sometimes he is not. i know he isn’t real, just an imaginary friend. i am not like mum, who saw imaginary people and thought they were becoming real.

i did not say much to enyo, instead i said the only thing i was thinking. saying it made me feel sick.

i think alistair is going to die.













as i said it, it echoed off the walls of the cliff.
suddenly it was all too much. i was all too much. my heart started beating fast and my mouth felt dry and i stood up. i didn’t mean to cry but i did, big wet tears the dried my skin. i don’t want him to die. i said over and over.
my words echoed against the cliffs, i didn’t  sound like me.
HE CANT DIE
i shouted. HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE  CANT


i woke up a long time later next to enyo. i looked into the void that filled the space between the cliffs and the beyond. i wonder of that’s where heaven is i said. i pointed into the nothingness that felt all consuming. enyo said nothing. he looked as empty as i felt.
a long silence later i said he’s not going to die is he? enyo looked me in the eyes for the first time and i realized his were a beautiful black, layer upon layer of black and brown. he said what do you fear more, the echo or the answer

but enyo was not there at all. he is only imaginary.




sunday

preacher came again to the house and said that alistair is better. that his fever had broken. i didn’t know fevers could break. i asked him about what being sick feels like, and he took me outside to the garden and we sat on the piles of rubble that used to be the neighbors. he said that your brain gets confused, and everything seems fuzzy and mixed up. i can’t help but think that must be awful for alistair, he was always orderly.

monday
today mari has her birthday party. her mum wasn’t there. i can tell lou noticed because her eyes were scanning the room all strange, but she didn’t say anything. i didn’t ask. mari looked all scared and the camera of the ceiling fan hadn’t moved from her in a long time. i wondered who was watching her. i know who was watching her.


tuesday

i go down to the cliffs, but enyo isn’t there. schools closed for sanitization, so i have nothing to do.  i swing my legs off the edge for a long time. i don’t dare say anything, i hate how it echoes back. i look deep into the bottom but i can see nothing.  it is only darkness. something at the bottom feels like is calling to me, tugging at me to come. i turn my back.
was this before or after the preacher came? i am trying to remeber in order, tell you this story radially like teacher says.

i go home and canary’s there waiting at the window. she says here i’ll help you with your homework. no, no, no NO NO NO NO NO NO. that did not happen after, that happened before.

i can hear the ticking of the clock in my ears, slowing down.
maybe i’m going crazy.


wednesday
i’m sitting on a bench, but i cannot remember where. enyo is beside me and he is talking. in my chest i feel something strange, like it is moving and jumping. i feel queasy but it also feels nice.
i look over and he’s bleeding, golden blood from his eyes and mouth running down his chest. i want to scream but it stops in my throat. enyo puts a finger to my lips and the scream goes away.

he isn’t bleeding anymore. we’re holding hands. are we holding hands? teacher tells us not too, it will make us sick. but enyo is different. enyo doesn’t go to school. i feel as if my hands are sweating but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t say anything.





i wake up cold. it felt so real, it all felt so real. my arms feel heavy.
i’m alone on a bench by the abyss. smoke fills the air and makes it hard to breathe.

friday
mari wansnt at school today. i know the northernland took her, broken bones and all. i remebemer becaus lou told me while alistair was sick. but that was days ago. i am sorry, it’s just so hard to tell the story in the proper order. my head hurts.

tuesday
i’m sorry if i cross out bits, it’s just that as i understand more i change the words. doctor says to stop doing this, but i want you to know the truth. the clocks are going slower and slower lately. alistair can’t work anymore, the preacher said so. i was going to tell him about enyo, how he is real now, not imaginary, but i didn’t know how. there aren’t words to describe him. looking at him makes crows beat their wings beneath my ribs, but i don’t know why. I sit with alistair after class but i can’t think of much to say. he doesn’t seem like my brother anymore, just a body lying on the floor.



thursday
doctor says i am defamilirazing myself, telling the story like it did not happen to me. telling it in all the wrong bits. i will try and tell it in the right order, but my head hurts. my head hurts so much. doctor won’t tell me why i need to explain, what the tape recorders are for or the make i have to wear the mask or why i’m here, what happened to my family. he won’t tell me why every time i say it like it was in the past and not happening right now he checks me for a fever. all he tells me is to start at the begging.

friday
the blonde woman from the northernland has a ring in her nose, but i do not know why. when i ask her she doesn’t seem to understand. she doesn’t talk anymore, either. just points at things on the board. i dreamt that she had her tounge cut off, but that was just a dream. the northernland would never do that to someone.

saturday
alistair is dead.
preacher says the disease took him, but i do not know which. the real sickness or the brain washing of the northernland. i think it was both, because the sickness made his brain weak so the mind-poisoners could break in. it’s okay, he wasn’t my brother anymore. doctor says that i never loved him.

sunday
church has ended and we are walking home, just arrived when our door opens. i wonder who would w at to come to this house, where the walls smell like death. the northernland woman is at our door, standing in the place the cameras cannot see her. she is smart. canary opens it and the northernland woman opens her mouth. there is no tounge or teeth, and the sides of her throat are black. i scream, so loud and shrill that i cannot believe that i am making this noise. my heart is in the center of the earth, fear running through my brain and i am screaming. canary covers my mouth. it doesn’t matter, the cameras were already looking.

canary pushed me to the floor and dragged me under the bed. i could feel the cameras following us the entire way. when she sat up, her pupils looked strange, the ways moms did when she ways seeing the people in the walls. anger seemed to hide in her voice, she was trying not to be loud but to me it felt like she was screaming, she had never thrown words that hit me like knives before. she told me never to scream or else the men behind the spying eyes of the camera would come for me. what would i do without you she yelled, but it wasn’t yelling it was crying. she help me close to her chest and i could feel her breathing and her heart beating, sparratic and short. she cried into my hair, until it was soaking wet with tears. this was when i knew canary was lost.

tuesday
enyo is in the void, just there. he is very pale today, and he doesn’t say anything for a long time. we have gotten to holding hands now. i have never held hands with anyone, and my fingers feel strange and clumsy. tecaher used to say that touching was against the rules, but i am so sick of rules that i am now glad to break them.
all at once, it occurs to me that there could be cameras here. there are cameras everywhere. i don’t know why this has never occurred to me before. suddenly i dont care, i want them to see. i stand up and scream as loud as i can.


thursday
after i screamed, no one came for me. even when i go back, i don’t feel safe anymore. i ruined the only place i felt safe.


saturday
enyo is gone. i go everyday and yell for him, but he left when i screamed. he is still missing. i’m worried for him, but at least i know the northernland has not taken him. a sick feeling in my stomach asks me if enyo was ever real. i know he was. but it is still there, pulling at my head. of course he was. i felt his skin, rough and broken. imagination can’t conjure up real people.
but then i think of mom. how her fever got so high she started to see people that weren’t there. my head hurts so much, like someone is trying to break out of jail in my skull. i am angry, for the first time in my life. enyo was my only friend, the only one who could see through the blanket of the northernland skies. i scream for him ENYO ENYO ENYO ENYO ENYO ENYO, but i am not mad, i am crying and crying so much and loud that someone puts their hand over my mouth, but there is no one there. i am suffocating. i turn around and i can’t breathe, my vision is tunneling into the abyss.
i am sick.



someone is holding my body, but their skin is cold. i open my eyes but i can only see shapes. i am on the gravel and the sun is orange, just like always. i am alone. but can feel someone’s tears, touching my cheeks. i sit up as fast as i can, and i am seeing stars but i just need to look. we are never supposed to look but i am going to see.


the northernland is punishing me.
enyo is making me sick.


enyo is there beside me, crying. i have never seen him cry and something rises inside me, and all i want to do is put my arms around him, so i do. slowly he gets warmer and feels more solid. let the cameras watch, let them see.


sunday
im running, running by the tips of my feet and pushing me off the ground, i’m flying. i have to get home.  i think of the first time i ran, letvthe cameras watch, talked to enyo. all the times i’ve broken the rules. i has always hated the northernland, but i had witnessed something better. i had talked to enyo, heard stories of what it was like before. a hatred so strong curcdled beneath my ribs and made me want to punch someone. i ran and ran and ran and ran, shouting HE CANT DIE
i shouted. HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE CANT DIE HE  CANT.     he is going to die.






monday
i saw a raven in the wire pole today. it was big against the grey sky and he watched me as i walked into the house. i hadn’t seen a raven in a long time, so i turn to enyo to tell him he looks like a raven. he smiles, but he is. if there. enyo was never there.

wednesday
alistair has gone back to work, though i think he shouldn’t have. he tells me the symptoms of the disease when he gets home. headache,seeing things, bleeding from your insides. i play with the ring on my finger, trying not to ask if that’s what happened to mom. i open my mouth but a rock lives there, and i cannot move it without crying.


sunday
doctor tells me to get off the floor, that i can stand now. i stand up and he puts me on the table. he is old and pale, with shiny grayish eyes. tell me what happened to alistair he says. i do not understand. what happened to alistair?

friday
mari wansnt at school today. i know the northernland took her, broken bones and all. i remebemer becaus lou told me while alistair was sick. i go home alone, and cold. i feel like there is a little green man in my lungs running a garden hose. i think back to the time when i ran, the first time i broke the rules. nobody came for me.
i can’t run anymore, my arms feel heavy and when i cough thick red bloods comes out of my mouth. it must be the smoke. I go home, and canary is at the window. she is crying in reckless abandon, shamshing on the door with her fists. two men from the northernland are holding her back, and one hits over the head with a black stick. alistair is being carried out on a stretcher.
look what the northernland has done to my family. all for the sake of this stupid war. i can’t remember who we’re fighting and yet my sister and my brother have died for the cause.
enyo says they are not dead. but enyo is not there, he was never there.

wednesday
i screamed again. i know canary told me not to, that cameras would look into my eyes and into my head. but i saw the northernland man coming up the street in his yellow trolley, straight for lou’s house. when the door opens she is wheeled out on a stretcher. so i screamed, because lou is dead and the war with no name had killed her. the devil had killed her.

canary grabbed me as the camera looked at me, as every camera in the house was trained on me. there was a disturbance in her eyes i had never seen before, like she was not all there. she grabs my arms and is much stinger than she should be. she opens the basement door and i scream again, because now i know what’s in the basement.








more northernland men than i have ever seen are in the basement, and when the door opens they look up. somebody take sme from canary and i scream and writhe and kick, but they pull at my body until my skin tears.





when i wake up, i am holding very still, and i cannot move if i want too. doctor says this is called  paralysis. there is a very bright light and a searing pain, it’s hurts so much my body is burning. cascades of blood come down into my mouth, and someone is sticking my lips with pins. this hurts more than anything that  has ever happened to me. it hurts in a deep ache, not just on the surface, and my entire body wants to shudder. my lungs are filling up with blood, because it hurts to much to breathe.





saturday
when i wake up i am in my bed, in my house. more relief than i have ever felt washed over me, because it was just a nightmare.

i used to have nightmares where there was a man in my room, saying numbers out of order. but then preacher says that if i talk to god before bed and make sure my blood is pure of doubt for the northernland, then i will not have nightmares. this is why i have had this nightmare, because i was disbelief the northernland. i do not care, because it was only a dream. i will never hail the northernland.


my lips hurt, and i wonder if in the night i bit my lips because of the dream. that happens sometimes. i dress and get ready for school, and catch myself in the mirror before i go. i turn fully toward it to make sure i am not hallucinating. in the great horror of it all, i try to scream, but it stays in my throat. i cannot scream, or make any sound at all.

my lips are sewn shut with green thread.


friday
everyone at school is quiet. anna covers her mouth and big wet tears fall on the ground. mrs. hoth takes her to the office, and the cameras follow them all the way there. we say our pledge and do our arithmetic, but i cannot say anything. i hate the northernland.
i hate it, i hate it. and i realize this is why they have silenced me.
the northernland woman is gone, and a man in a yellow coat teaches us arthimatic.
the clock on the wall is barley ticking now.
lou sits at the desk in front of me, her hair greasy and skin pale blue. she turns round, just like the old days, but isstead of telling me what the answer is or who’s the cutest or any of the normal things, all she says is run. her mouth makes an o and she closes her eyes and rests her head on the desk.

when i blink, she is not there. i am alone in the classroom.


sunday
i go to church by myself, because i havent seen canary since she sewed my mouth shut. she is not my sister anymore, and i pretend i don’t care what happens to her in that basement.

when i get there preacher is not there, there is nobody there except the northernland woman. she comes and sits next to me and runs her fingers across the stitches. we pray together, even though we can’t say anything and there is no sermon. when we walk outside there is an officers car, and she is handcuffed an put in the back. the man who has taken her gives me a sticker, with a little white cloud on it. it says trust in the northernland. i do not trust the northernland. i do not trust anyone.
i run away as fast as i can and throw the sticker into the ground, but it still seems to follow me inside my head. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland. trust in the northernland.



monday
enyo is at the abyss, waiting. he says i am killing you. and i understand, it all makes sense now. but he is all i have now. if the only thing worth living for is killing me, that is what doctor would call dramatic irony. i do not feel dramatic, i feel used. the northernland has used me and used my family.


saturday
doctor says that when telling a story i need to define who is the antagonist and the protagonist. the antagonist is someone who antagonizes people. doctor says this means evil. this is hard for me to understand, because everyone is evil. this is not a story, and it does not have characters. the peoples i have met in my life are all complex and strange, evil and good and unpredictable. doctor says ok and that we will try again tomarrow.

thursday
mari wansnt at school today. i know the northernland took her, broken bones and all.
mari wansnt at school today. i know the northernland took her, broken bones and all.
mari wansnt at school today. i know the northernland took her, broken bones and all.

friday

enyo is at the abyss, waiting. he says i am killing you. and i understand, it all makes sense now. but he is all i have now. if the only thing worth living for is killing me, that is what doctor would call dramatic irony. i do not feel dramatic, i feel used. the northernland has used me and used my family. doctor says to be thankful of the northernland, that they did not use me. i turn away from enyo because even though i love him, i am loyal to the northernland.
i am thankful to the northernland.
i am thankful to the northernland.
all hail, all hail.






love alistair
fire element
exposing government secrets
cult
enyo gets more real as he is dying.
preacher dies.
alistair goes crazy, then dies.
something in basement.
Very low IQ but the only one smart enough to see
enyo is a ghost
canary goes crazy and sews our mouth shut.
fall in love with enyo.
not told radially
told in sgememgs like cross cross
deep symboling
tread Sep 2010
Today is the first day,
Today is the last,
Today is the future,
And today is the past.

Today is a good day,
Today is so bad,
Today is so distant,
Today is so sad.

Today one has died,
Today one comes alive,
Today one has failed, but my God
How he tried.

Today someone chewed,
Someone spat,
Someone fell.

Today someone is living,
In their own man-made hell.

Today someone laughs,
Someone smiles,
Someone cheers.

Today people relax,
And buy a new round of beers.

Today is the only day,
Of the rest of your life.

Today can be a good day,
Just avoid all that strife.
Jackie Mead Jul 2017
Today is a wonderful day
Curtains wide open, the sun out to play
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
Full of vitality and life
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
Children singing, out to play
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
Birds flying, high in the sky
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
Walking in the park, hearing dogs bark
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
The sun is out and families play
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
Everyone wants another day
Today is such a wonderful day

Today is a wonderful day
I am thankful for another day
Today is such a wonderful day
Life is short, live each day and be thankful for the small things in life
Poet kiri Jun 2016
Today,
Is a beautiful day
So beautiful the walls
Are drizzling with
Art.

As the sun rays
Were the perfect artist
Of this morning.

Today,
I learn
What it means to be
One,
As for today culture
Breaks the boundaries.
What peace may mean
What emotions
I live to tell and relive  
Cause today I care and tomorrow….

Mystery is believed
And imagined.

For fantasy has proven
It aint’ catchy
If you don’t know the different dimensions of the universe
Today,
I hold a hand
To lead and to be lead  
(To hear and be heard)
Cause today the books
Will not tell history as it is but
As it is

Today
I tell you that
I the being are
A broken abandoned home
Scared of my essence
As it’s just how you perceive my existence
Of the foreign language
I speak.

For I will
Kneel and ask
Will you be my
Better of the half
I can’t achieve
Without, your driving
Force I have reckoned with

Without fear
Today
I plan neither to regret
I did it
For I would just like to imagine
What fate the crystal ball
Has history all mysterious about.

I am music at its finest
Today,
That the flow of the currents
Is by the tide of the melody
I play in my mind.

For I dreamt in a dream
Of dreams so deep
That I may have
Broken the laws of attractions.
  
Today
It could be at its finest
Yet, I repeat yet
Finest is for the
Fine china’s that
We break at home
At proper perfection
For it is just the day’s perfection
Considered a mistake to break
The perfect shine

Haven’t we executed the perfect crime?

Knowing that
Today I was served
Reality on a silver platter
For it’s the only dish
Of pure gold ingredients
Brutally mined and
Gently handled.

Thus
Today is today
And tomorrow
Will be today
With a greater twist
As beautiful as
The just today has planned.
So...

LET LIVE, TODAY.

©Hansmind, 2016
Hello to my followers and fans.
It is yet another Poet Kiri original under a new collection
(POEM COLLECTION: 1000 SIGNATURES.)

Thank you for your continuous support. I highly appreciate it.
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO ENJOY, SHARE, COMMENT AND LEAVE A LIKE.
HAVE A GREAT DAY.
Madeline Thetard Apr 2018
Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
3. Today I smiled at someone in the hall.
4. They didn't smile back.
5. Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
6. Turns out I'm not invisible -- then why can't anyone see me?
7. Today I made a fake Instagram account under a trendy name from the 1960s to see whether I knew any people who had real Instagram accounts.
8. All of the accounts were private save for one.
9. Today I forced myself to be happy for a particular past crush who posted lots of pictures on Instagram with his new girlfriend. Hurrah.
10. Today I looked at everyone's smiling faces and wondered why I wasn't smiling with them.
11. Today I wondered why some people are complete idiots.
12. Today I wondered why my skin tone - white as milk - should make people believe that I can't handle spice, or make people believe that I am stupid.
1. Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
13. Today I comforted someone who said she had no love life.
14. I didn't have the courage to tell her that I've never had a love life and probably never will.
15. Today I told someone I write poetry and they laughed at me.
16. Today I cried in front of a mirror while singing a made-up song that wasn't even sad.
17. Today I told people I was fine when I really was not.
5. Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
18. I wish I was invisible.
19. If I were invisible maybe it wouldn't hurt so much 'cause I know I'm here but people refuse to see it.
20. Can I please just be invisible?
1. Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn't say it back.
Not in a fantastic mood right now.
brandon nagley Mar 2016
i.

Today, O' today
I got her letter in the mail;
Filled with pictures of mine
Queen, she sent me
Poems done by me, in her
Calligraphy.

ii.

Today O' today
I got lipstick kisses on
Her notes, the red stood
Out of all she wrote;
As her amour was
So fine.

iii.

Today O' today
Anon mine spirit's soared,
That fashionable vellum
O' I adored. O' Jane Sardua,
O' Jane of Earl. O' rose of Asia;
The Luzon's pearl.

iv.

Today O' today
I smiled again, because mine lover,
And mine best friend. Her ardent sonnet
Displayed her touch, grabbing mine soul,
In heaven's blush, silently tear's came to
a rush; from joy's overtaking.

v.

Today O' today
O'er the blue, I made mine stay.
Consatero, ah veray,
Queen Jane, Queen Jane,
Of Asia's praise;
Today O' today
How I fell in
Love again.


©,Brandon Nagley
©Lonesome poets poetry
©Earl Jane Nagley dedicated ( àgapi mou)
Vellum- smooth writing paper...
Anon- at once, or immediately.
Blush- not of embarrassment... Meaning as of color...
O'er- over in archaic form .
Consatero- is a word I created meaning... ( blissful in sound and color)
Ah veray - is another word or words put together meaning- ( venerated ( meaning regard with great respect) and elevated in honor and glory ..

Note- I made this poem about the amazing love letter Jane sent me in the mail. The old fashioned way of sending love if ones far away how it used to be sent and still should be sent. Though everyone's so inter-web connected now they've lost touch with humanity in themselves and others... As big reason I took break from poetry sometimes we need it. Now I'm back. Plus I've been sick lately and not doing best but I'll be OK with God with me... Jane sent me a lovely envelope an envelope I've never seen before with a beautiful skin texted layer... Her handwriting is so beautiful, and her message in the two page letter touched mine soul where I did have tears because seeing how much she loves me really makes me feel blessed again and again daily!!! And she sent me three pics... Older ones. One of her as she was a little girl. One during elementary school and a later one... Alll so beautiful and queen like!! And she is a well know calligraphist and getting better by the day. Though really a starter shes already professional as she's getting professional lookers looking her way ... Calligraphy is the old fashioned style handwriting practiced from long ago. Like the beautiful old way of writing you used to see in poetry. She sent me poems that are mine own poems though handwritten in her calligraphy!!! Such a gift it was as I was very down yesterday and this was a pickmeup!!! A blessing!! And a treasure I will cherish until we meet and beyond!!! Thank you so much mine Reyna Jane... Soulmate... Best friend!! Lover...alll... My àgapi mou. Zoi mou, anasa mou!!!m se letrevo queen!!!!!

Note - wanna follow Jane and her calligraphy on Instagram you can find her I believe at yellow_majesty or Earl Jane sardua maybe that is try Earl Jane Nagley... But try yellow_majesty first. Also Earl Jane Nagley on fbook. To ask her for info on her calligraphy... As she needs support ... Thank you friends!! And thank you for all of your support!!! (:::
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt devestation
a death in the family took you by surprise
now you're contemplating suicide again
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt so proud
you graduated High School
you're screaming in your victory voice so loud
I stepped into your shoes today
and your heart is breaking
your boyfriend just broke up with you
you're throwing everything away that’s no longer worth saving
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt guilty
you cut after almost a year
now you're feeling ugly
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt depressed
you're getting ready to **** yourself
because you feel so helpless
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt scared
you're about to have your first baby
and the father isn’t there
I stepped into your shoes today
and I got a really bad tummy ache
you have Cancer and you're dying
there’s not much more your body can take
I stepped into your shoes today
and I started to cry
your husband was called into war
this could be your final goodbye
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt nervous
you're leaving for college in two days
and you can’t seem to find your courage
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt lost
you're five years old, you lost your Mom and it’s almost getting dark
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt overjoyed
you won an award for your writing
you are filled with so much pride
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt peace
you lived your life, you reached your dreams
you're as ready for death as you will ever be
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt in love
you just married the love of your life
in front of your family, friends and God
I stepped back into my own shoes today
and I felt grateful
I realized I’m not the only one on earth with problems
and I’m thankful for all that I have
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June.21, 2013 Friday 9:39 P.M.
Lyra Brown Nov 2013
today i learned that your favourite
colour is red.
(i also happened to be wearing it.)
today i learned that everything i’ve ever wanted to happen
will eventually happen,
but not in the ways i imagined they would.
today i learned that i can love you from a distance,
that i can say it with my eyes and maybe you will
hear me.
(or maybe you won’t but
either way i’m going to keep looking at you.)
today i learned that you care about me because
you told me to put on my scarf so that i wouldn't get cold.
today i learned that love is a language all on its own,
full
of laughter and long embraces and jokes and
spur of the moment decisions and unrequited heartache
and other things
i cannot find words for.
today i learned that instead of being a fool for
not being able to control my heart i might in fact
just be human.
today i learned that every solid foundation was once
a battleground.
today i learned that i could one day maybe trust again but
i am still not ready yet.
today i learned that black friday
is now a thing in Canada.
today i don’t feel so afraid.
today my mother let me read her journal from 1988
(when she was the age that i am right now)
and i learned that i am more like her than i ever
thought i was,
i learned that that might be more of a blessing
than a curse.
today i learned how to use my mind as a camera, that it might
be okay to let so many precious moments remain
undeveloped.
today i learned that i cannot force you to be enamoured with me.
today i learned that i might just have to settle on the fact that my inability to express myself with words has no bearing on how nervous i get when i am around you.
today i learned that there is so much love everywhere.
today i learned that everyone is stunning.
today i learned that there is no such thing as having too big
of a heart.
David Ehrgott Nov 2015
Tell me mr. brown, my friend
How are you today?
Oh Rider, I'm not very good today
Oh Rider, not very good today

Tell me mr. white my friend
How are you today?
Oh Rider, I'm not very good today
Oh Rider, not very good today

Say there red in chains not free
How are you today?
Oh Rider, I'm not very good today
Oh Rider, not very good today

Freedom ringing sounds of cheer
How are you today?
Oh Rider, I'm not very good today
Oh Rider, not very good today

Why so sad under the clouds?
Please tell me today
Oh Rider, I'm afraid to say
Oh Rider, I'm afraid to say

Russia come to take you down
Make you look so played
Oh Rider, I'm afraid to say
Oh Rider, I don't want to play

Own your bank and knock you down
You know we don't play
Oh Rider, please not me today
Oh Rider, how much more to pay

Owning all the people plan
We'll start with businesses
Oh Rider, please not me today
Oh Rider, please not me today

Take your home, still make you pay
That's the new wing way
Oh Rider, how much do we pay?
Oh Rider, not very good today
Oh Rider, not very good today
derelictmemory Dec 2013
Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is the first time I've heard of you!
          I'm so excited for the day you'll find me
          Then we'll live happy-tedly ever after!

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my nine-eth birthday
          I hope I get you next year!
          Then I'll have someone real to play with

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is a scary day
          Daddy isn't smiling at Mommy
          You have to promise
          to always smile at me okay?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today it's been 4 years since I first heard of you
          Mom and Dad aren't speaking anymore
          I need a friend

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today Dad left the house
          I can hear Mom crying in her room
          Don't ever leave me okay?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I found out that my friends hate me
          You won't hate me right?
          They said I'm fat and an orphan

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today the kids at school tripped me
          I suppose accidents happen
          When will you be here?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I wore a long sleeved shirt to school
          No, don't worry, it isn't cold here
          The kids at school hate me

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my 16th birthday
          Will you be here soon?
          I think I need a friend

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today Mom and Dad are finalizing their divorce
          You won't give up on me,
          Will you?

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I'm staying with Dad
          He has a special friend over
          Don't forget to come find me

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I've been told that you won't find me
          That's not true right?
          It's very lonely

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I slept through school
          I just couldn't find a reason to get up
          Reach here soon

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is already tomorrow because it's midnight
          If you're close by please let me know
          I need you

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today I know you're not real
          But I wish you were
          Who else would love me in this cruel world?

Dear Prince Charming;
          It's 2am and everything is looking darker than before
          I can't stop crying
          Please be real

Dear Prince Charming;
          I don't know who you are
          I don't know if you exist
          But I love you

Dear Prince Charming;
          I couldn't wait for you anymore
          So I hooked up with the guy next door
          I don't like him

Dear Prince Charming;
          I'm still wearing long sleeved shirts
          The mirrors are broken
          I need you

Dear Prince Charming;
          Today is my 18th birthday
          I'm sorry
          You need to find a new princess to love
S E Whitney Dec 2011
Today, today
First day of forever
Beginning of tomorrow
Last stand of yesterday filled with hopefulness borrowed

Today, today
Beginning of the end
The story will begin pick your poison and commence

Today, today
At the head end of blue skies
The tail of shaking heads and rainy days and hazy days that are a daze

Today, today
My life begins
Or does it end?
I can't recall...
A day at home or in the mall
Or on the mall

Today, today
Purposeful
Ready to go, to know to flow

Today, today
Why so grand?
Only a sow dressed as a belle
Just yesterday's tomorrow
And who couldn't tell?

Why today, today
Special is she
So neat and perfect
Promised, pretty...
Please...

Today, tomorrow, yesterday
All akin, all so same
So similar in every way
I'll start my story yesterday

2:37am
New Year’s Day 2011
Rachael Netznik Apr 2014
Love me today,
for any other way is untrue.
Love me today,
in all you do.

I do not wish a promise for tomorrow,
Nor a passing gesture for room to doubt.
It allows fear to create great sorrow.
Love me today leaves no room for mind to figure out.

Love me today,
In these three words, happiness can grow.
Love me today
is the way our bond will sow.

Love me today,
For I rather not have our egos battle vast fears.
Love me today,
Draw my presence near.

Love me today,
Makes our atoms dance together.
Love me today
and not just fair-weather.

Love me today,
More of a vow than any other.
Love me today
and anger does not become our individual cover.

Love me today,
All shields laid to rest.
Love me today,
makes us, as individuals, love at our best.

Love me today
As our struggles break.
Love me today,
starting in the a.m., the moment you wake.
Nikita Marley Jun 2013
Today left me with questions
Some pretty confusing questions
I thought a lot today
Tried to answer a lot today

I woke up today
In a good feeling way
I was early
Earlier than my parents
Which doesn't happen often

I felt good today
I laughed today
A lot
With the people I don't normally talk to

I worked today
Hard
And well
And I kept trying

I played today
Outside
In the park
With my friends
With
Kenny
Langston
Nelson
Emma
Phoebe

And I thanked them
Just now
For being such awesome people
And such great friends

I laughed today
With everyone
At everyone

I cursed today
More than usual
It felt good
And it was unexpected

I rocked today
And I'm guessing that'll happen again tomorrow
And the next day

And I talked today
And read today

I felt today.
Brenda Nalugo Apr 30
TODAY
Well today could have been our anniversary
Today....I would have dressed just for you
Today, I would have written you a poem or a love letter, maybe both
Today...I would..
But today marks 634 days since you broke my heart
634 days since I found you in her arms
Today, could have been our anniversary,but instead... today serves as a reminder of my foolishness and immaturity.

I had you were getting married
And oh, thank you for asking
If I was "okay" with it, like my opinion ever mattered
And thanks for the apology,but I think it's too late
It was too late  the moment I caught you
And oh thanks for the invite..
What a blissful reunion it would be if I showed up at your wedding

Today, exactly 634 days ago,I slit my wrists
I felt at peace as I bled
I found peace in my dark thoughts
But today 634 days ago,I was saved by my mother
And I realized she had raised me better
That I was never really in love with you,I was in love with a version of you that you switched on when you wanted to get laid
That I deserved better.

Today, today...my therapist gave me a punching bag with your face on it
She asked me to hit hard to let go of all my anger
But today I realized it wasn't worth it, you weren't worth it
Today I realized I owed myself an apology for my stupidity
For trying to **** myself
For putting you before me
Today... could have been our anniversary but am glad it isn't
Cause today...I realized am glad I lost you
Full name Sep 2014
today was a good day because even though you cried you survived and that deserves an award -
today was a good day because nothing makes sense but it doesn’t matter
today was a good day because everything ***** but still you smiled
today was a good day because you laughed because everything is beautiful and
today was a good day because nothing is determined and our minds make up lots of things which aren’t true but then again our minds wander
today was a good day because it is nice to say that it was a good day- and even if it was a bad day it doesn’t matter
today was a good day and even though people **** themselves and our country is now involved with killing innocent people in the middle-east, there is still beauty left on this earth;
today was a good day because we, the human race can love
and we cry and we love and we fight and we hate, way too much but we love and loving is forgiving and loving is kissing and laughter
and love is everything
love cures and love understands and you can love yourself so that you’ll never have to experience a loveless day - again. self love is important
today was a good day because no matter how many land mines erupted, good things happened and
today people got married and today a couple decided to split up but to remain friends - which will never work but it will make them both happier
and today a girl decided she would never love again but then again she will fall in love
at this very moment a boy decided he doesn’t want to get married, he wants to love as many people as possible and that is beautiful
today a girl had the guts to tell her best friend that she is in love with her - or has been in love with her, since the day they met
today a woman of old age decided to leave her husband because he kept beating her up
we are taking baby steps and as sarah kay said
‚this world is made out of sugar ; it can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick out your tongue and taste it’
you are a work of art and i can hear you thinking ‚i’m very normal and i am not that beautiful’ but believe me once you start thinking of yourself as beautiful from the inside and the outside
life will be so much better
i'm a mess
Curtis C Aug 2017
Today, nothing to say
Today, is just what it is
Today, being in the flow, working with what comes my way
Today, love is at the base of it all. If it moves up Great but if it's
             just apart of the foundation of it all, Wonderful
Today, wondering and wandering...knowing the adventure is
             the discovery
Today, HAPPY with what is, where I am, what I have
Today, the beginning, the end and the beginning again
Today, a low key celebration but a celebration none the less
Today, deep breath, a smile, maybe a laugh, a song, a dance
Today, no judging. No labeling. No comparing. No competing
             ...just being
Today, Today, Today
              I Love. I am Loved, I share, I receive
Today, is what it is
             TODAY
Tommy Johnson Apr 2014
I'm not going to the pizzeria today
Hell no, I'm not going to that pizzeria today
To go in and scrub the dishes
The bleach is burning my skin
And insect crawling on the food
While my time is just wasting
I refuse to wash another bin or tray
I'm not going to the pizzeria today

I'm not going on that sinking ship today
Forget that, I'n not getting on that sinking ship today
We have a sushi place across the street
Another pizzeria two doors down
They also own the bagel shop between us
And when bakery opens, I won't be around
I'm sorry, but I certainly can't stay
I'm abandoning this sinking ship today

I'm resigning from this bad business today
That it, I'm done with this bad business today
The boss ignored the IRS for months
They came, emptied the registers and shut us down
Sometimes there's no money in the bank
So every now and then all our checks bounce
I work for six ours for $8.25, I expect to get paid
That's it I've had it with this bad business today

I'm giving up on this lost cause today
Yes, I'm giving up on this lost cause today
It fell apart when they switched hands
Two parents bought it for their sons
And they plowed it into the ground
One's on coke and the others just dumb
When they're parents come in they have nothing to say
I'm giving up on this lost cause today

I'm not going into work today
I can not go into work today
Where the employees could care less but still try their best
And the boss act like two year old
Where we get bi weekly pay and everyday is slow
And the pizza in the case is cold
I'm giving in my two weeks notice and going on my way
There is nothing that can make me go to that godforsaken pizzeria today
CAM Oct 2017
Today is one of those days that makes you feel just nauseous
Today is not a very good day to be so self-conscious
Today is one of those beatdown days
The days that make think you’re in a phase
Of life.

Today is like the day you find your crush kind of hates you.
Today is the day you’re almost starting to hate food.
Today is not the kind of day you just give up and faint
Into the arms of some unwilling, kindly saint.

You think today couldn’t be worse but just imagine how it could.
Actually never mind it’d be stranger if you would.
Today is one of those days you think is about to **** you.
But maybe that’s just because you aren’t seeing the whole view.

Today is one of those days that makes you just a little bit cautious.
Today is one of those days you wish you had something like phosphorus.
Although I'll never say it loud,
I think my story I have found.

Today might be a beatdown, but you have to see tomorrow.
Because sunrises are beautiful to take pictures of.

So I hope I see you tomorrow.
Curtis C Aug 2018
Today, nothing to say
Today, is just what it is
Today, being in the flow, working with what comes my way
Today, love is at the base of it all. If it moves up Great but if it's
             just apart of the foundation of it all, Wonderful
Today, wondering and wandering...knowing the adventure is
             the discovery
Today, HAPPY with what is, where I am, what I have
Today, the beginning, the end and the beginning again
Today, a low key celebration but a celebration none the less
Today, deep breath, a smile, maybe a laugh, a song, a dance
Today, no judging. No labeling. No comparing. No competing
             ...just being
Today, Today, Today
              I Love. I am Loved, I share, I receive
Today, is what it is...
             TODAY
bella Jan 2019
today i don’t hate my face
today the sky is pink and perfect
today i am loved and in love
today i like my body
today i wore a bikini
and people were present
today the little voices telling me i was not worth it were duller
today the fear was less
today i took two steps forward
and only one step back
today i stayed alive
today is another day
but today i survived
which means today will
become yesterday, tomorrow will become today,
yesterday becomes a century ago.
today i survived
so as i look to the sky
now purple and glorious,
i will breathe
Stacey Marie Jul 2015
today was a good day.
the first good day i've had in months.
i laughed and smiled and had fun.
it was a day full of loud music and loud voices of the people that i care so deeply about.
the people you introduced me to.
the atmosphere was warm and inviting and for once I felt loved for who i was.
today was a good day.
so, why am i sitting alone in the parking lot at 12:30 crying?
why does it feel like the world is falling apart around me?
today was a good day.

today i watched you smile.
today i heard your voice, animated and full.
today i saw the light shine in your eyes.
today my heart leapt when i heard your laugh.

today i took the term "fall in love" too seriously.
today my heart shattered after it fell.
it broke because she was the reason for your smile; the reason your eyes lit up.
she was the other half of your "forever and always."
i was tossed aside and ignored like the nothing i'd always believed i was.
thank you for proving my point today.

today was a good day.
it felt like a dream.
so, what's causing me so much heartache?
why am i drowning in my own tears; getting lost in my despair?
i'm crying because it was a good day.
a good day without you.
but, nevertheless, today was a good day.
Meaghan G Dec 2012
Today she told me she made it through every

try out round for

America’s Next Top Model and when

she went home to tell her girlfriend that she made it on the show,

she got her face beat in so bad, Miss Jay didn’t even

recognize her the next day.

She wasn’t on the show.

——

Today is roses,

wilted petals,

flowers from I-don’t-know-where

that have landed in our bathroom,

have sunk themselves in an empty bottle of ***,

two handles on the side,

the better to smell them with.

——

Today I am covered in a museum collection of

bug bites and lumps and

scratches and bruises

and leg rashes

and I don’t know where anything has come from,

not even

me.

——

Today he asked me how the poetry is coming.

I said it is slow.

——

Today I wanted to kiss a boy because it was his birthday,

and I don’t think he’s ever kissed a girl before,

and I think he should

if he wants to

on his birthday.

——

Maybe I will tomorrow.

——

Today has barely begun, is three hours in

was 6 minutes too late to buy

gas station beer

but we bought two cigarillos

and on the drive back,

talked to three kids who had just seen a UFO.

I missed it.

——

Today he threw a tomato at my face,

and it slid off and landed on the floor with a splat as I screamed.

There were customers.

——

Today I had to explain why I keep

leaving people.

I have to be alone, I said.

——

Today I dressed for myself.

Thank God.

——

Today I listened to country music and covered my ears

because they hurt but also it hurt

to not listen to it with my Dad in the truck, driving

anywhere

but today I picked a boy up and taught him how to swing me around

and he picked me up and spun me in his arms and

I think that’s how you do country.

——

Today my cis, male, white, Mormon, wait-till-marriage-to-have-*** English teacher

talked about **** shaming

and the patriarchy

and he gets it

and thank God.

——

She is auditioning to model, again.

There is no one to take her face away.
andy fardell Mar 2012
Today is being good today
and I knew the reason why
had this feeling in my bones they say
can you tell me why oh why
today is being good today
today is being good

saw a rabbit reach the other side
was that the reason say  
passed the slither of the moon at dawn
as I saw it make a smile
today is being good today
today is being good  

passed a cat as black as black
as it crossed my very path
felt the sun warm me in my heart
wow I feel the love
today is being good today
today is being good

so am sharing all my vibes with you  
enjoy this very day
cos today is being good today
for me ..but .....especially for you

— The End —