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Nat Lipstadt Oct 2017
all I've learned from love


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for the fedora man, 10/29/17 10:34am

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another song done me wrong on a Sunday morn,
so much due to do, a list not for compilation/publication,
including poems promised and weighty deadlines overdue,
for its tedium would still be lbs. heavy in weightless space

instead a lyric plucks my attention, of course beeping,
insistent chirping a chorus of, write me right now,
immédiatement dans son français de Montréal,
this is the item that needs to be list topping,
now whispering a messenger-angel name dropping
a request formal from the fedora man dressed in black

all I've learned from love,  
a listing doomed to comprehensible incompletion,
a listing to the right as new reasons in-come
constantly from the left, each heart beat a
remarkable reminder that the list grows longer

every day, the repeating seasons, proffer suggestions,
disguised as a newly revised ten commandments,
obedience to which is a wish list for
attaining grace

all I've learned from love is its duality, essential quality,
a human single cannot attain the commingling required
for the visioning a peak season of life colorful,
its sad corollary, leaves falling exposing the body bare-nudity of the soul linear alone

all I've learned from love is its shining skin is an agreed upon
indefinable nature, other than we all recognize how our
definition personal exists in that Ven diagrams space where
our circles intersect, when A breaks the skin of B, creating
{A,B}

all I've learned from love is without it no matter what
somewhere inside is a desperation pocket that is
an inquisitive irritant, a brain burr, a pea under the mattress,
a high and mighty 1% of disarmament incompetence that rules the imbalanced balance of my bottom line on the top of my head

all I've learned from love that it appears on its own timetable,
in surprising trains and planes and baseball games, sitting
alone in a theater or in front of a Rubens, on crazy disastrous
first dates in foreign countries at cafes or non gender
specific bathrooms amidst alternating currents of
this is crazy and this is infinite and ever so sobering
wondrous possible


all I've learned from love is it never shoots straight,
but will always end in a holy bullseye


*Tout ce que j'ai appris de l'amour, c'est qu'elle ne tire jamais directement,
mais se terminera toujours dans une sainte bullseye
Lyn-Purcell Aug 29


Let not the trails of life cast us into
the womb of despair
Let not the betrayals of Man embitter
us where we no longer trust
Understand that time on Earth is short.
It is our choice to fight the battles;
the weapons were provided.
Fight to live right, fight to live well.
And when your flame blows out
and you know Eternal Peace,
you would have won the war.
No man is perfect.
No man is a saint.
No man is a God.
Man is Man.
Know your value.
Know your worth.
Live your dreams.
Hone your crafts.
Face your fears.
It's okay to be selfish.
It's okay to make mistakes.
Don't let society eat and tear at you to the
point that it rips your very soul to shreds, and you feel like life is not worth living.
You are entitled to live, so live your best life
and let the haters stew.
But most of all believe...


I know it can be easier said than done, we're only human after all.
I do personally struggle with some of these, but I do try to stick with them.
Life's too short as it is.
When I was younger, I thought being 20 was old.
I'm 23 and man, am I so grateful to still BE here!
Just know no matter the situation, good or bad, it doesn't last forever. Do your best to live right, do your best to do right but also try to live. Many of us exist and survive.
Please live.
Be selfish in a sense that you give yourself the focus and self love that you need. That's where it all begins. ^-^
Lyn xxx
Corey Oct 2017
Life is going to throw the most unexpected curveballs at you and there isn’t a thing you can do about it. You can accept that you’ll never overcome them, or you can learn how to take them and run. You won’t start out hitting home runs off of them, but maybe just bunt a couple and go from there.
2. Life is far too short for what if’s. It’s too short to care about how others think of you. Too short to worry about making everybody happy and way too short to give the wrong people your precious time. And for Gods sake, if you love somebody, tell them! If they already know, tell them often.
3. You have no idea when you might lose somebody you care about. Unfortunately, sometimes you don’t realize how much you cared until they’re gone. Death comes at unexpected times and in unforgiving ways. However, it opens your eyes to so many things about life that you may know, but you don’t live by. Don’t let it go by the first time. Take those lessons and embrace them and live differently.
4. Alcohol is a beautiful poison. Don’t abuse it, enjoy it. If you need six, seven, eight drinks to feel something then you aren’t drinking correctly. Drink less often, have stronger drinks, and don’t drink to blackout.
5. You can do anything for ten seconds. You can do anything for a minute. You can do anything for an hour. You can do anything for a day. You can do anything for a month. You can do anything for a year. You might have to take it a month, a day, an hour, or a minute at a time; but you can do it. Sometimes you need to prove to yourself that you can do something small for a month so that you can do the big thing you need to do for three months.
6. Nothing comes easily forever. You can do something your entire life; something that you don’t need to practice, train, or work too hard for not matter what. Eventually, there will be something harder than you’ve ever done before, and it will not come easily. Don’t be discouraged. What others worked for years to do, you could do in days with little effort. Even like this you will have weaknesses. Work them, even if you don’t need to. That way the day that something is too difficult, it won’t take as much work to get. If you wait, the work will be too much.
7. Nobody cares if you’re sad or having a bad day. They will always expect 100% from you in every regard. You should always be happy. Always be social. Always perform correctly. As impossible as it sounds, the people expecting 100% are satisfied with you faking it.
8. If somebody doesn’t like you; hold your head up high, be polite, engage them in meaningful conversation, and treat them with the utmost respect. Either their minds will change or they’ll be so confused they won’t know what to do. Accept that it will be awkward.
9. Love is funny. Love is sad. Love is perfect. Love is so many things. But it should not be abusive. Abuse comes in way more forms than one. Be on the look out for it. Even the smallest abusive actions have their consequences. Typically they simply build and build.
10. Supportive friends are the friends you want to keep around. The ones that come to your events and cheer you on. The ones that make sure you’re doing okay periodically. The ones that ask you what’s wrong before you even know yourself that something is. Low maintenance friends aren’t bad friends.
11. To do anything other than your passion is absurd. Find it, study it, dive deep into it as best you can. Live for it. And do it for the rest of your life. Hobbies are important. Do those as well, but even those should be filled with passion. It is the one true ineffable feeling.
12. Say yes to opportunities small and large. Anything that puts you outside of your comfort zone, that gives you anxiety just thinking about, is well worth doing. If you don’t do it, you may just regret it for a very long time. Say no only to distractions that prevent you from doing what needs to be done.
13. You cannot re-write the past. No matter how many times you remember something you’ve messed up, you cannot fix it. You also cannot take back spoken words. Be careful what you say at all times. It is far better to wait and think about a response rather than saying what comes to mind first. And do not speak poorly of others behind their backs. It only ends in pain.
14. Make friends wherever you go. Especially if you are uncomfortable with doing so. Talk to strangers on vacations, in the grocery store, and especially at you school or work. One day they might be looking for somebody specific to fill a role that you are perfect for. A simple hello today could be your dream job in the future.
15. Be explorative. How can you have opinions on things you like and dislike if you don’t try everything out in front of you. How can you be cultured if you don’t take the time to learn all cultures. How can you be artistic if you haven’t seen anything worth making into art.
16. The world is changing and you need to change with it. Gender doesn’t mean what it used to mean, and people’s names are changing left and right. Please keep up. It’s offensive to call someone by an old name they had or by the wrong pronoun.
17. It is okay to be deeply sentimental. To hold onto objects that remind you of someone or something. But don’t get wrapped up in these things. Not all of them are important to keep; like messages from four years ago to a person you no longer talk to, or a broken bracelet you used to wear that will never get fixed. Only keep the important things. But do know that what is important to you may not be important to others and visa versa.
18. There is no singular word for all emotions. Though you can find them in other languages; like the French term L’Apple du vide, translated, “the call of the void,” which described the split second phenomenon of wanting to jump off a cliff or pull the steering wheel and crash. You can find these examples, but it’s worth it to sit with a blank page and try and write about what you are feeling in your own words. You learn a lot about yourself and the world.
19. Nature is your best friend. When you’re in a bad mood, go for a walk in the woods. When you’re in the car, roll down the windows and feel the air on your skin. Grow plants that help either yourself, or other animals. Help the bees and the butterflies.
20. Time is scarce when you need it the most. Do not procrastinate anything. Manage your time wisely. Something could be completed in hours; other things need months. This is the idea of hourly time vs. calendar time. But both need to be done spread out, and not all at once.
21. You learn a lot as you grow. When I was eight, I learned that Santa wasn’t real. When I was twelve, I learned how easy it is to break hearts. When I was fifteen, I learned what loss is. When I was eighteen, I learned the difference between love and lust. When I was twenty, I learned what fear is, and since then I have learned how fragile life is. Everything I’ve learned has been preparing me for my future. Eight prepared me for fifteen which prepared me for twenty. Twelve prepared me for eighteen which has prepared me for the present. Every event is a lesson worth learning whether you want it or not. It prepares you for an unknown future. It may take years for the lesson to reveal itself, but it is worth the struggle. Everybody learns something everyday but it is imperative that you remember these things, or at least remember the lesson learned so that in the future you won’t make the same mistake, won’t be in the same type of pain for as long, and won’t have to be taught a second time.
Unedited
Alexis Irvine May 22
He loved her so hard and so well, she twinkled and glittered under his passion. She loved him so deeply and so well, he gleamed and he illuminated. They would tingle under the touch of each other’s finger tips. A love so focused, so sure, that the rest of the world blurred into who cares what. She had a fire inside her; she was fearless but graceful in all the right places. And he had a warmth inside of him; an unconditional eagerness but ever so gentle. She was obsessed with the world and all it brings and wrote about it. He was obsessed with life, the way it sings and sung about it. She’d listen to his songs on the way to school and fall in love all over again, she’d fall harder than she did the first time she listened. He would read her poetry and feel amazed or up for a debate. They were sweet-tempered, and they were in love. Content. Some would call it the composition of perfect- the right mix of individuality and compatibility. And then they loved harder, and not so well. Their love grew and their sense of selves shrunk under it. She stopped writing so much, he stopped singing. There was nothing to write about, nothing to sing about. It was just love. And just love was not enough. Not enough without the glitter, and the tingles. Not enough without the fire inside her and the warmth inside of him. Loving hard is not enough. They loved so hard, they forgot to love well. They lost themselves in midst. And now they are finding themselves again. But they are still best friends; and that is loving well. One day, she may suddenly begin to twinkle and glitter under his passion again, and he might just gleam and illuminate. But they will know. They will not mistake loving hard, for loving well.
Lyn-Purcell Jul 20
Funny how the people who know you
the least, have a lot to say.
Me Díaz Aug 20
My own saving grace
Give myself my own breath
Bring myself back to life
You always said there’d be no one
For me in the end
Told me to save myself
Stop trying to hold your hand
Said no one would care
We all die alone
And now that everyone's walked away
And I'm left in this place
I think I’ve finally learned
So I come to ask you once more
Are you proud of me now?

M•(e). Díaz
Liz Alvarez Sep 26
I think about the day I was born.
I had a leg deformity due to a stupid ass nurse fucking up.
They gave my mom to choose between a lifetime of surgeries to correct them or break my newborn legs into place and hope for the best.
My mother choose none.
She put me in double diapers till she noticed my legs growing back to normal.
And for her, I am grateful she choose to ignore them.

I think about the day my dad left my mom and I.
He choose 5 minutes of sex with an already adulterous married person than to be with his loving wife and only child.
My mom before and even after the demise of their marriage, would still pick up my biological father from unknown locations.
Too drunk to even remember, he wonders how he got there and why his now ex wife and baby were in a strange unknown car with him.
Too dumb to remember the person he's sleeping with, they didn't even bother to look for him or even care to notice he was out.
Those moments that I've soon to know about, I acknowledge my mother's strength in all the chaos that was to come about.

I think about the day my mother, my aunt and I got assaulted right in front of our home.
The man had a large machete sticking towards my throat as he asks for my mother's car keys.
She throws them out and quickly grabs me and pushes my aunt into our apartment.
My mother calls the police as my aunt tries to comfort me.
I cry for my biological father.
My mother tucked me in and kisses me to sleep.
I learned that day to never depend on anyone for security but myself.

I think about the day we lost our home.
My mother and I were to be evicted from our first actual home because of a disgraceful woman who had been defrauding us.
We moved in with my uncle in a tiny room he spared us.
It seemed it would wonderful living there, as I saw my uncle as my father.
A new life came into the house and everything changed.
My mother and I were now felt to be confined in our room.
I witnessed a paper by mistake of some apartments for rent on his wife's desk.
Who else would this designated for? Obvious right?!
We were then forced to look for a home as soon as we even just moved in.
I learned that day that sex is more important than helping out your own flesh and blood.

I think about the day I decided to end my 6 year relationship.
The beginning was great until he saw his potential with others.
Secret messages and meet ups began happen behind my back.
Yet still, I forgave him after finding out this later on.
Of course he continued as I turn a blind eye.
The last first time of our day, I began to see his un-interest in me and our future together.
I began to unravel and truly see for the first time that history was and would be repeating itself.
I saw myself caring a child as he would be off drunk and being with adulterous women.  
Just as my mother.
Later found out, he had physically cheated on me.
On our last first day.
I learned to let go of what was hurting me emotionally, of what was to be my future and what was the future of my children to come.

I think about the day this person hurt me.
He was to be my savior.
He helped me through a nasty breakup and what emotions I had coming out of it.
He comforted me as I comforted him as well.
He listened to my secrets I never even told my past lover, not even my best friend.
I heard his dark secrets as well as we hanged out in a beautiful cold beach.
What was to be our place of solace.
Our place.
Things couldn't go on anymore for him with our complex relationship.
He ended it as while he ended my trust.
I began to feel things I thought you could never feel with someone you cared for deeply.
But it was too late.
He had said goodbye before I could even say thank you for at least being there for me when no one else would.
I learned that the person you are meant to be with is the one.
Your soulmate, your sun to your moon.
But it's just not the time or even the right moment in this current lifetime.

I think about the day I wanted to end my life.
I cleaned my room spotless. Cleaned the bathroom, the backyard, everything.
You get the gist.
I placed a note on my bookcase.
Each note was to be dispersed to an individual in whom I love deeply.
I wrote down information to all my accounts to everything I was connected to.
Instructions were even put in place to what to do with my body as well as my belongings.
I had a plan.
Everything was set.
I looked around my house for what was to be the last time.
Swallowing a container and preparing a knot, I glanced at my dog and the picture of my best friend.
He looked curiously at the knot I was preparing.
He cried of course, being the crybaby he is.
I sent a message to my best friend saying I love her and I'll be watching over you.
No reply back of course.
Life moves on.
I know she was busy working.
I got on a chair and wrapped the knot around my neck.
I breathed in and out as slowly as I could.
Preparing of what was to be my escape from all the pain.
I began to cry, thinking about my mom.
How devastated she would be.
She would have to witness my lifeless body hanging in the closet.
Cutting off the knot so viciously and giving herself every ounce of her strength to bring me back.
Knowing what I know about my mom, she would 100% join me soon after.
That is how much we love each other.
For we could not live without each other.
I felt a tug at the chair I was standing on.
My dog wouldn't stop trying to get on the chair with me.
He began to cry and of course wanting my attention.
I loosened the knot and throw away everything in such a rush.
I immediately made myself vomit as much as possible.
And then cleaned up, and hugged my dog.
Even though he hesitantly hates hugs, he willingly let me.
I learned that even though things seem tough, there will always be a shining light waiting for you. It just wasn't my time to go yet.

I think about the day I needed to do something with my life.
I finally and unwilling let go.
I went on a couple dates.
Finally meeting someone that loves me for me.
I thought of before how some people look for certain characteristics when looking for a potential partner.
At this point of my life, I don't care anymore.
I don't look for a a person with money, with a extravagant home, rich lifestyle or any of that mess.
He was nothing at all what I had expected to fall for.
He cares for me as I care for him deeply.
He wants a future with me as I just want a future with him as well.
He builds me up and I encourage him up towards our dreams, our hopes and our desire to be better people for each other in this ever growing world.
I know I have a purpose here on this earth.
I just gotta keep looking forward.
And hope it will continue this way until it is my time to go.
Dedicated to my mom. She is the strongest person I will ever come to know. And to those who are starting to lose hope.
undressing before the mirror of your soul
the tired throne of confusion
burns the illusion that we are all alone
what can compare to the hairs of the earth
is it a purse made from old shirts and words
as birds and feathers fled the forest's shelter
the burning embers head west
into the zone of the setting sun's dismemberment
are you perplexed or just scared sacred
death wasted on the fences
you shy away from sentences
that we both know
are just a little too close to home for comfort
i am a lonely poem portrayed
by an infinite number of frames of reference
so i claim my place in the heart of infinite wonder
as the thunder states your name
and screams your secrets into the stars
our hearts were always made from art
and we are being charged with negative ions
like the lions and dinosaurs that have come before us
our women lie freezing in the warmest of holes
so we comb the sand for diamonds
and try to make the land grow again
I am reprimanded for standing on one leg for too long
and begging you to come back home
if you glance towards me i’ll look away
as shade from a tree covers your face
was it a waste of speech
to try and crawl too deeply
into those feelings that you sought to deny
and what if we see each other again someday
will we wait for the other to acknowledge
that i was too much a coward
to dance in the face of all that abstraction
at the edge of my comfort-zone
love falls into oblivion
a wastrel and a sparrow
as the cantankerous showers
start flowering in our folds
as growth is esteemed
so do we eventually redeem our own soul
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