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Aa Harvey Sep 2018
SCARED


SCARED of losing your place, SCARED of being pushed back.
SCARED of missing the bus, SCARED of getting the sack.
SCARED of your colleagues, SCARED of your boss.
SCARED of being late again, SCARED of losing your job.


SCARED of feeling the fool, SCARED of being a joke.
SCARED of being a loser, SCARED of what you just smoked.
SCARED of what was in it, SCARED of what you were given.
SCARED of what they gave you, SCARED of no longer living.


SCARED of not knowing;
SCARED of knowing too much.
SCARED of commitment;
SCARED of being able to trust.


SCARED of a horror movie, SCARED of spiders.
SCARED of not being beautiful, SCARED of what's inside us.
SCARED of being thought ugly, SCARED of being thought plain.
SCARED of being thought stupid, SCARED of trusting your brain.


SCARED of telling her, SCARED of her knowing.
SCARED of your feelings, SCARED of them showing.
SCARED of pain, SCARED of hurt.
SCARED of her, dishing the dirt.


SCARED of showing emotion, SCARED of crying.
SCARED of showing weakness, SCARED of dying.
SCARED of losing a pet, SCARED of losing a child.
SCARED of losing a loved one, SCARED of being too wild.
SCARED of the consequences, SCARED of what you might do.
SCARED of who you may harm, SCARED of them harming you.


SCARED of being a father, SCARED of being a mother.
SCARED of being cheated on, by your lover.


SCARED of being threatened, SCARED of being hit.
SCARED of pressing charges, SCARED no-one gives a ****.
SCARED of their reaction, SCARED of what they may do.
SCARED of them? Or SCARED of you?
SCARED of forgetting, SCARED of a lie.
SCARED of the judge, not being on your side.
SCARED of accusations, SCARED of being called a liar.
SCARED of them not being punished;
SCARED of getting any higher.


SCARED of being too happy, SCARED of always being sad.
SCARED of being optimistic, SCARED of feeling so bad.
SCARED of depression, SCARED of sadness.
SCARED of joy, SCARED of happiness.
SCARED of being so happy, you feel you can fly.
SCARED of losing your wings, SCARED of falling from the sky.
SCARED of being another Icarus,
SCARED of being another Moses.
SCARED of lying in a coffin, covered with roses.
SCARED of lying in the ground, SCARED of being buried alive.
SCARED to be like the stories, too SCARED to try.


SCARED of not being strong, SCARED of not being right.
SCARED of being proven wrong, SCARED of losing the fight.


SCARED of getting it wrong, SCARED of failing the exam.
SCARED of not getting in the army, SCARED of failing uncle Sam.
SCARED of being stabbed, SCARED of being shot.
SCARED of them taking, all that you've got.
SCARED of being held prisoner, SCARED of torture.
SCARED of dying in a war, SCARED of losing your only daughter.
SCARED of losing a sibling, SCARED of losing a friend.
SCARED of your parents, SCARED of them meeting their end.


SCARED of living forever, SCARED to death.
SCARED of the end, SCARED of taking your last breath.


SCARED of being a memory, SCARED of being forgot.
SCARED of nobody caring, SCARED of losing all you've got.
SCARED of losing your memory, SCARED of getting old.
SCARED of alzheimer’s, SCARED of being put in a home.


SCARED of being buried, SCARED of no one knowing your name.
SCARED of your wife dying, SCARED you'll forget her name.
SCARED of nobody being there, when you finally die.
SCARED of being cremated, SCARED of being burnt alive.
SCARED of being dissected, SCARED of being cut up.
SCARED of necrophilia, SCARED of that wooden box.


SCARED of being a fable, SCARED of being a myth.
SCARED of just being a story, SCARED you didn't exist.
SCARED of being made up, SCARED of not really being here.
SCARED of what you've been told;
SCARED of what you didn't hear.


SCARED of facing God, SCARED of having no answers.
SCARED of going to Hell, SCARED of having no more chances.



(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Pearl smoke Jun 2018
Scared Prt 1.
2014
iM Scared Of Losing What
iHave Left.
iM Scared Of Seeing What
iHave Left Go Away.
iM Scared Of Disappointing
My Loved Ones Again.
iM Scared Of Being Reminded
What the reality of Drugs.                        can do once again.
iM Scared iF iM Sober Then Fall
iWont Ever Change again
iM Scared The Drugs Can
Take over me Like it Has before
Once more.
Scared Of Feeling Numb And Live The Whole Drug Addiction Cycle all over.

Scared prt 2.

I Relapsed & Now I'm worried.
Will I Go back to my old ways?
As much as I desire The Feeling of escaping my reality,
I can't live Like that. I don't want to be a drug addict all over again.
The Feeling Is pleasant . The Living of being 1 Is Horrific.

Scared prt 3
2017
I’m scared
Of never finding hope
To believe my life has no worth
To never finding a light
To get lost in the
Darkness of my depression.
Im Scared
To never feel true happiness
To believe I have
No purpose in life.
To see I really don’t matter ..
I’m scared to prove
Myself right.
To really never start a life.
I’m scared to
Then lose my self again
To lonely nights with toxic touches

Scared prt 4

Be aware
I’m not scared like I used to be.
To lose  you, see you walk out.
Watch you leave & end us.
I have drugs.
To replace you,
Forget who you were
Erases our memories & best times.
Be aware
If you do me *****, I don’t care.
Drugs will always be there .
Il depend to forever not feel..
If you leave me, I won’t cry.
I have lines to get me past times.
So please know , I’m not scared.
To be left ,

Scared prt 5
2018

I’m Trapped.
I’m not ok , I’m not safe.
The habits creeping up.
Slowly but rapidly.
I believe I got it together.
I tell myself I got it under control.
But do I really?
Relapsing after 2yrs is making an impact.
I’ve been falling frequently.
For a short time but I’m still using .
It will take ahold of me unexpectedly.
Slowly convince me this Drug life’s worth risking .
I need help .
I look fine.
I haven’t used severely but my minds hyped.
Il Get To that level.
If I don’t reach out in time.
My thoughts are converting slow
I can feel the careless emotions growing.
That’s why I’ve found it so easy to use and get away with it.
“Just today” “it’s only alittle” “I can handle this”
That’s until I build up my tolerance.
Lord Help me .. you know il cause heartbreaks if I turn back to what I Once was..

Scared

I’m so scared.
To get played again .
To get lied and betrayed.
I’m scared of my reaction.
I know il die alive.
I won’t even have the strength to ****** you.
I’d be so broken and just let the world walk all over me.
If you Do me *****
I’d lose it completely.
You’d prove all my doubts correct.
Assumptions I already knew were true in my head.
If you play me, Id lose my head.
Literally, go insane due to confusion & hate.
If you hurt me.
Drugs is what I’m going to be out searching.
Not even ask for an explanation.
I’d be too focused walking straight ahead to my connects house.
If you do me shady.
I Will Be angry at the world.
Scream to the top of my lungs
“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
I would drown myself in drugs.
I’d hate the world completely for hurting me when I’ve done none wrong.
I’d go So crazy.
How can I So Loyal Be Played With.
Etcetc can’t even write more

Scared prt 6

2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared prt 7.
I’m scared
To Relapse & Stay Stuck
To give up recovery
I’m scared to
Look at you and walk away forever.
To just not care wether you believed I truly loved you.
I’m scared
For my love to be trapped
For all My strength to be gone
Lose it all ,
I’m crying.
Addiction will forever live in me
Wether Active or Overcomed
This drug will Always come
Aslong as I’m Happy , Positive
I won’t want to take a hit
But Even if nothing’s going on
My body & mind will randomly itch.
Ive been walking with this for too long to just erase it .
To forget I had a habit .


Scared prt 8
Jan 2018
Im not scared
Anymore .
I don’t know what to feel
Anymore.
I think I’m worried,
I just don’t feel it
Anymore.
My thoughts try to
Tell me something’s wrong.
I Can’t think of anything..
I’m unsure If I’m ok.
I don’t know if I’m
Even thinking straight.
I remember once feeling
So afraid.
I had to seek help on my own .
For the sake of my sanity.
My heart felt a heavy
Storm coming.
It rushed me to look out
Find shelter .
With strong material .
I started moving .
But did I act fast enough ?
Did I act before or after
Time had already passed..

Scared Part 9
Am I Fine.
Will I not rack a line.
Never touch a Rock in my life.

Am I Good.
Will I not Use again .
Will temptations not be seen as threats ?
Can I handle.
My urges to not Tweak again.
Will my triggers Be nothing to worry about?

Will I never feel tempted.
Have I finally over come every Obstacle of addiction?

I’m sorry.
I’ve worsen , I’m stuck once again.
This time it will be harder .
I’m a recovering addict
Stuck in a constant relapse Cycle.
What must I do
Should I sit & wait
On my next down fall ..

SCARED PRT 10

March 2018
I Didn’t notice.
Like always
I believed I had it all under control.
Everything was ok.
Everything seemed fine.
I felt normal,
I would stop soon.

I was Wrong ..
I Fell Down So quick.
I went hard.
No dubs or teeners.
I went straight to a Ball.
I just went all out.


I lost myself again.
I Lost control of the substance.
I Was trapped.
It became a problem.
One I wasn’t aware of.
I Had no recognition of at all.
I Didn’t see that I couldn’t stop.
I kept going
Kept using without seeing the frequency.
The days spent stuck.
I lost touch with reality.
This previous Relapse
Has been the worst in my life .
I haven’t had a binge like this time since 2015.
I used every day .
For 6 1/2 Weeks.
I lost track of the days & time.
I Sniffed & Smoked 2 8 ***** all to my self.

At the time I didn’t see how crazy that was.
Those weeks, an 8 didn’t surprise me.
The amount didn’t shock or Worry me.

I was fine , I had control.
I was doing ok , everything seemed & felt normal.
It was just a small relapse.


I was wrong
I lost touch with reality.
I formed a habit .
I was addicted again .

The sad part is
I’m able to acknowledge this Only through writing.
In real life , my denial mind
I’m able to handle my addiction. I’m ok & Dont have a problem.


It angers me.
Since my 1st Relapse
In August.
I’ve Fallen Very often.
It saddens me.
How I quickly Skipped
The Weight.
Why does it worry me?
My mind will no longer seek a Dub when I’m triggered to use.
It will want Another ball.

Anything less
My Addictive mind
no longer craves.
It now settles for Big.
This relapse has changed the game for my addict ways.
I’ve Relapsed every month
Since August.
I Had it all under control.
I Was able to use and stop.
Just this last time
I completely lost it.

Scared prt 11

I’m scared .
To lose my strength.
Have no durability.
To Give in So quick.
Be that weak
Where I don’t fear Tweak.
Find it easy
To just go seek.

I’m Worried
To reach that level .
Just Relapse constantly .
not care who Knows.
My problems
Have me overwhelmed.
Every day
The Stress grows .
I can’t bare another
Tug & Pull.
Saumya Sep 2018
I'm not scared of the tenebrosity of a room, I'm scared of the thoughts which struck me.

I'm not scared of humans, I'm scared of the demon which resides in them.

I'm not scared of being alone, I'm scared people will forget me if I'm not in touch with them.

I'm not scared of going naked in the outside world, I'm scared of losing my self-esteem.

I'm not scared of the society, I'm scared of the hoaxes they spread.

I'm not scared of your love, I'm scared of being abandoned by you.

I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared that I haven't lived enough.

I'm not scared of making memories either good or bad, I'm scared of these memories fading away.

I'm not scared of the past or the future, I'm scared of the present.

I'm not scared of slumping, I'm scared of failure.

I'm not scared of asking questions, I'm scared they'll remain unanswered.

I'm not scared of being corrupt, I'm scared of losing myself. The sacred me.

I'm not scared of the aftermath, I'm scared of the side-effects it has.

I'm not scared of being scared, I'm scared that you'll think I'm frail.

~Saumya.
this is my first poem.
Whitney Sep 2012
I'm scared of being a disappointment.
I'm scared of being vulnerable.
I'm scared of what people really think of me.
I'm scared of breaking your heart.
I'm scared of not being enough.
I'm scared of saying "I love you."
I'm scared of being complimented.
I'm scared of people smelling my breath when I don't brush my teeth.
I'm scared of using public toilets.
I'm scared of what parents say about me.
I'm scared of what teachers say about me.
I'm scared of the truth.
I'm scared of not having friends.
I'm scared of breaking the rules.
I'm scared of acting.
I'm scared of having regrets.
I'm scared of my past affecting my future.
I'm scared I'm not worth the trouble.
I'm scared of choking on a necklace in my sleep.
I'm scared of communicating deeply about my feelings with others.
I'm scared of doing something wrong.
I'm scared of not going to a good college.
I'm scared of talking about religion.
I'm scared of talking about money.
I'm scared of causing anyone unneeded grief.

But, I'm brave too.
Lord Cam Apr 15
Look What We've Become!
SOO SCARED to Live On! WHY?
And Yet Even Much More Scared To Give Up And Die.
Scared of our ourselves making failures; Scared of Others.
Scared Of War(s), Oppression & Victimisations.
Scared Of the enemies, sacred of Hate and Hatred;
Scared of Evil; Scared Every Single Day, Even More Scared at Night.
Much too Scared to to trust anyone-Even So called Friends or Family.
Always Sacred; Forever Scared.

The Feeling Will Not Go Away.
Too Scared To Sleep, Scared to awake to another day.
Scared to lose friends , or loved ones'
Scared friends might turn on Us,
Scared to Trust anyone.
Scared of the Hypocrisy & Double Standards;
Too Scared to go for a walk.
Scared of Viruses & Corona.
Scared of the Murders and Robberies andCrimes.
Scared To even watch a movie.
Scared to eat; Scared of Becoming fat.
It's So Soo Scary!!  Too Scared!
Lord Cam-Nevis , West Indies
Sam Anthony May 2019
I'm scared. I'm scared to sleep at night, that the next time I wake up everyone that I love is gone. I'm scared. I'm scared that once I die I would be forgotten, barely a distant memory. I'm scared. I'm scared to love again, scared of the possibility that it end like the others leaving me broken and empty. I'm scared. I'm scared whats this worlds becoming, people killing others for no reason; carrying knives to harm each other. Spreading hate instead of love. I'm scared. I'm scared to be alone because when I'm alone the voices inside my head get louder, so loud its hard to block them out. I'm scared. I'm scared that the voices are right, that I'm worthless, that no-one cares. I'm scared. I'm scared to be surrounded by people yet to feel lonely. I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll always be scared.
Izzy May 2017
I.    Scared
This is real for me
This is love to me.
And some days I’m scared out of my mind at how genuine this is.
Nothing has ever felt this authentic to me, other than maybe pain.
This is new to me.
You read the stories and love is this all powerful magic and its so **** powerful that it scares me. It scares me that this thing, this emotion, may rip my heart out of my chest and leave it in a million little pieces.
I’m not scared of you,
I’m not scared of us,
I’m not scared of a fight,
I’m not scared of love,
I’m not scared of forever,
And I’m definitely not scared of heartbreak, my heart has known its scars and I’m not afraid of gathering more.
I’m scared of an ending that’s everything but happy,
I’m scared of the strength of my feelings,
scared I’ll let you down,
scared I’ll hurt you,
scared of anything and everything, all my demons coming out to play and every inch of me is screaming run.
I’m scared that I’ll run,
I’m scared of losing you,
of not being enough.
But as scared as I am, I’m willing to fight for this.
For us.
For our forever
Our happy ever after.

II.    Two
Two souls, more different yet similar than most, met while on their own paths.
They continued together for a while, like many others.
A poet and a soldier, each claiming their own hell, living in their own darkness.
Finding comfort in each other’s arms.

III.    Love
How do you measure a relationship?
By the future?
By the arguments?
I’ve always measured it by how far I could see down the road.
And honestly, with some I could see into 20’s or 30’s, but never the end of our road. Those thoughts were foggy, these are too but more clear, everything is blurred but your face, where with them everything but their face was clear.
With them, I saw lives I didn’t want, lives that were comfortably numb. I saw superficial happy endings.
But with you I see my forever.
I see 5 years down the road, chasing dreams
I see 10 years, building a family
I see 15 years, balancing life
I see 40 years, retiring
I see 50 years, walking down random city streets, hands intertwined
I see 60+ years and meeting again someday in another existence  

I see forever with you
I want forever with you.
Hanna Kelley Jun 2016
I am scared.
Of everything.
I am scared that the people that have been there for me in the past will not be there for me when I need them most.
I am scared that maybe I won't graduate.
That I won't go to college.
I'm scared that I might actually go to college but then I won't know what to do.
I'm scared that I am not aiming for the right degree.
I'm scared that I will get the right degree and get my dream job but then I won't like it.
I'm scared that I am too focused on my future that I will look back on my past and realize that I didn't do anything with it.
I'm scared that I am wasting my time trying to become something for the possibly that I might become nothing.
I am scared to move.
I am scared to get out of this town and get lost in a big city with no one to run to.
I am scared to stay here and this be the only place I will ever know.
I am scared of my genetics.
I am scared to have kids and have them suffer because they will have some hereditary disease that I can't watch them live through.
I am scared that I will never become a mother because of my fear of being a failure.
I am scared that these fears mean nothing but I am obsessing over them anyways.
I am scared of having a reason to be scared...
And that scares me.
Dan Bolens Jan 2014
Why am I scared?

The last time I ate with a friend they said goodbye.
Maybe I'm scared of losing you.
Maybe I'm scared of being alone again.
Maybe I'm scared I'm being clingy.
Maybe I'm scared you're mad at me.
Maybe I'm scared I'm taking away time from being with work friends.
Maybe I'm scared of hurting you.
Maybe I'm scared of eating too fast or too slow.
Maybe I'm scared of having nothing to talk about.
Maybe I'm scared of being early.
Maybe I'm scared of being late.
Maybe I'm scared of hugging you too long or too hard.
Maybe I'm scared of talking to loud.
Maybe I'm scared of my leg acting up.
And maybe I'm scared of falling in love again.
Calea Mar 2018
What are you scared of? What am i scared of?
I'm scared of myself
I'm scared I'll get bad again
I'm scared of others think of me I'm scared to leave my house some days
I'm scared of you
I'm scared of losing
I'm scared I'll never be enough for you
my scared of rejection
scared to speak up
scared to Be Forgotten
scared to be remembered the wrong things
scared when I die no one will cry scared to think
scared to  be
I hope you like it
Ezis Mar 2018
im scared
im scared you wont want to see me
im scared you wont want me
im scared youve lost interest
im scared it wont ever happen
im scared this is going to slowly
im scared youll wake up one day and decide im not enough
im scared to love you
im scared because if i love you youll leave inevitably
im scared you wont kiss me
im scared you wont want me to make that move
im scared of rejection
im scared ill say the wrong thing
im scared im not as good as her
im scared you compare us
im scared
Ayeshah Sep 2013
I'm SO Scared
...........

I'm scared
to love again,
the last few times I've allowed a man in my life,
it was lies cheating and so many fights,
I've given my all only to have so much of it fall apart.

I'm scared
more now than I've previously been,
I feel like its a faze like that honey moon thing,
3 months of bliss, sadly traded for 3 years of misery.

I'm scared
to trust you because lord knows I've trust the wrong fools,
those who'd say they longed for me & needed me,
but claimed the same things to her & her too.

I'm scared
to open up,
telling you all my secrets,
dreadful memories & histories of horrible abuse,
at the hands of my exes & foster care
plus
such things from my present & more of my past,
things
I'd never share with anyone again- if I can help it,
because
it's been shared before,
with others & I've been let down and laughed at, treated badly .
had it used against me too.
I'm scared because,
secrets
were used to inflict harm,
used to make me feel ashamed...

I'm scared
to once again share intimate moments,
because I've been put down and shunned,
treated like a *****, instead of a girl-friend or wife,
I've heard how she's so much better,
how I've supposedly failed to please,
yet in my bed he's claimed he'd wish to be.

I'm scared
to be loyal because he's turned on me,
my abilities to forgive after all the un-loyal things that's been done to me,
the unfaithful ways he's shared his life with others,
the lies he's told on me while claiming to others,
how
I'm always the excuses & reason
his cheating & actions, were justified.

I'm scared
you'd do this too and I can't ever again take the hurt or lies.

Even though
I'm scared
to open up & scared to trust,
or  to be loyal and devoted...

Still scared,
but I'm not giving up,
I'm still refusing to believe that this time around,
it'll be the same as it was when I was with him & my last ex.
I believe heartedly that you'll be different then all of my exes.

You'll be given to me what they've refused,
I seen the way you
look at me and how dedicated you've been towards me,
Even my girls like you way better then him.

You've shown me what patients really looks like,
showed too how you'd treat me as your friend and as your lady,
You've listened and given great advise.

Sharing your deepest history and allowing me always to just be me,
You've lifted me up and haven't put me down,
laughing with me and making me smile,
You've danced with me in the pouring rain.

It's early still and we know the honeymoon faze will end,
but I'd like it to last for as long as it can
I actually loved
our first fight because
you expressed your desires to set things right,
You didn't accuse me nor point a finger,
being so attentive and so very soothing.

You say you love me
and
want the best for me
plus you have even shown me
your word's hold true.
So even though
I'm scared
I'm ready and willing,
Happily I'll continue to take this leap of faith with you,
because you've given me the same chances and made it a point to improve,
You're betting it all on me
and
intrusting me with your heart,
I believe its only fair that I too intrust you with mines...

Put faith into your actions
and
believe you
because you've given your solemn word,
to love me and take care of us,
I know too that you do love me and I love you too!

I know it wont be easy and I know we got a negative past in each of our history's,
but like you said;

as long as we're honest and dedicated to each other,
no matter what may come, things will keep getting better...


Sooner or later, despite my pstd, bi polar and d.i.d.
I'll see, because you'll keep showing me,
that there will be no more reason for me to be
SCARED!*

Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright ©
Ayeshah
K.C.L.N 1977 - Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved ®
Tsu Mar 2019
I used to be scared
Scared of the monsters under my bed
And the way "the boogieman" deals with bad children
But now that I'm older
Only fear seems to come my way

I'm scared
Scared of the fact
That my nightmares could become reality
That my past could be my present
And my rights could morph into wrongs

I'm scared
Because I don't want anyone to know
How much I love them
And how much I care for them
How weak with sentiments I am

I'm scared
That my loved ones will turn on me
That I will fail in what others expect of me
That I will be judged for all my mistakes

I'm scared
That my life will be filled with this endless suffering
Filled with endless stress
Filled with endless weariness
Filled with endless questions

Endless questions...
Am I okay will I be okay should I be okay should I be normal like everyone else when will I be like everyone else do I want to be like everyone else do I want to be better than everyone else am I better than everyone else am I good enough I am not good enough when will I be good enough when will I get answers when will I die how should I die can I die will someone **** me what am I thinking should I be thinking about this why am I thinking about this?

Endless emotions,
love, hate, calm, frustrated, confidence, fear, good, bad, live, die, death, life, normal, strange, pain, ache, tired, questions, confusion, fear, more hate, hot, cold, right, wrong, up, down, satisfaction, regret, spare, ****, shallow, deep, truth, lies, on, off, WILL THIS PAIN EVER STOP?

I'm scared. I'll admit it.
Scared to love,
Scared to hate,
Scared to fight back on the darkness
That forever awaits

I'm scared I'll hurt someone
If I leave this world
If I leave my story behind
So what do I do?

I'm scared I'll keep living
In between reality and insanity
I want to stop living
But I'm scared of dying...

Help me... please... I'm just...

                            afraid
                                  tired
                                      fearful
                                         scared.
Pixie Sep 2014
I am scared.
I am scared of myself.
Of my mind.
Of who can see the mind I have.
I am scared.

I am scared.
I am scared to hear.
Sacred to think.
Scared to be.
I am scared of me.

I am scared.
I am scared of who is in my head.
I am scared.
I am scared.
Pauline Morris May 2016
I'm not scared of the water, I'm scared of the river
I've seen what it can deliver

I'm not scared of being alone, I'm scared of being lonely
I have never been someone's one and only

I'm not scared of losing faith, I'm scared of losing hope
With out it I could not cope

I'm not scared of the anger, I'm scared of the rage
I keep it locked up tight in a cage

I'm not scared of pain, I'm scared of agony
In my life there has been to much tragedy

I'm not scared of hell, I'm scared of the fire
Look at all the sins I've acquired

I'm not scared of God, I'm scared of his wrath
He's always beating me over the head with his staff
bailey defrees Apr 2018
I'm scared
I'm scared of life
I'm scared of death
I'm scared to speak
I'm scared to try
I'm scared to be alone
I'm scared to ask
I'm scared to tell her how i feel
I'm scared to say no
I'm scared that no on likes me
I'm scared i'm losing evreyone
I'm scared that she hates me
I'm scared of rejection
I'm scared of people
shiftingclouds May 2015
you're scared. you're scared of a lot of things. you're scared of people seeing through you. "oh my god, you're gay?" you're scared of going to sleep and waking up to the news that your sick mother took her last breath while you were having nightmares about her dying. that's funny. having nightmares and waking up to the exact same nightmare coming true. you're also scared of falling out of love. but you're not scared of your lover leaving you, no, because pain, that you're accustomed to, but guilt? not really.

you're scared. you're scared of running out of time. everywhere you look, people are doing better than you. they have scholarships, they're going places. you're still here, and you're scared that you'll always be here. what would they say when they get back? "poor fellow can't afford further education. how do you get a job?"

you're scared. your hands are shaking. people are trying hard to be your friend, but you know you can't be a good one. you've lost a couple of them. you say the wrong things once in a while but as far as you're concerned, once in a while is enough. boom. disaster. everything which comes out of your mouth is like a ticking bomb, waiting for someone to find a fault in it and figure out that you're not actually as nice as you pretend to be.

you're scared. you feel like you're keeping secrets, but you can't seem to entangle your own thoughts to know what they are. you feel anxious around people you see as being far superior than you are, so you end up hating them. you also feel anxious around people you can see yourself in, so you end up hating them too. they sit next to you at a table and your heart beats fast, your palms turn sweaty, you just want to get out of here. why do you not like these people? is it because they're different from you? is it because you want to be them?

you're scared. you're scared of revealing your sins, of being burned at the stake, or in terms of the 21st century, shunned by the society. you're scared of looking at the rorshach ink blot. you're scared of describing what you see to your psychiatrist. you imagine your psychiatrist thinking, '*******, this patient is ****** up.' you imagine avoiding eye contact with everyone in your pool of contacts, and you're afraid that pool might slowly **** your family in too. you're not diagnosed with anxiety, but you might as well be.
We are scared to dream
Scared to speak
Scared to write and scared to teach
Scared to breathe and scared to sleep
Scared to **** and scared to scream
Scared to run and scared to die
Scared of living and scared to death of failing
Scared of growing older and scared of being scolded
Scared of holding and scared of showing
Anything but our fearlessness
David Gonzalez Apr 2014
Momma I'm scared.
There's a monster under my bed.
Momma I'm scared.
The boys at school pick on me.
Momma I'm scared.
I think this girl doesn't like me.
Momma I'm scared.
I might not make it into college. Momma I'm scared.
I don't want to move out but I have to.
Momma I'm scared.
I'm in so much debt.
Momma I'm scared.
My marriage is falling apart.
Momma I'm scared.
My wife is pregnant and I don't how to be a father.
Momma I'm scared.
I'm losing the house.
Momma I'm scared.
I've grown my first gray hair.
Momma I'm scared.
Please don't die. I need you.
I'm scared momma.
opi Jan 2018
i'm scared i can't do things right
i'm scared i'll become nothing
i'm scared of being responsible
i'm scared to try
i'm scared of being the only one
i'm scared to do things by myself
i'm scared to be different
i'm scared i have too much sin
i'm scared to be alone
i'm scared i'll fail
i'm scared i'll disappoint people who love me
i'm scared of this world
i'm scared of being alive
i'm scared of death
i'm scared of everything
Gregory Loftman Aug 2015
So it seems like the night terrors never really go away
They just get replaced,
Same trembling fear, just a new face.
As a kid I used to spend hours awake, being scared.

I was scared of the dark,
Used to turn the lights off and run fast
To get under the sheets, so the dark couldn’t engulf me.

I was scared of the dogs,
That their bite was worse than their bark,
Crossed streets so they wouldn’t cross my path.

I was scared of being me,
Behind alcohol I hid
Downing shots and beers, so i could blame it on this.

I was scared I wouldn’t fit in,
Would dominate every conversation
So there wasn’t a part I couldn’t be in.

I was scared to admit that fear was a deep part of me,
I thought if anyone knew they would think i’m weak.

And I’m still scared, but now fear has a different face
I stare deep into it’s eyes and I don’t tremble in the same way.

I am scared that death will take me sooner than I think
And rob me of the future I have built in my dreams.

I am scared I’ll lose my family, the anchor in my life
And without them, well I would shortly join them in the sky.

I am scared of myself and the voices in my head
If I do what they tell me, will I have anyone left?

I am scared of failure, are my dreams too big?
What if I don’t get there and I gave everything I could give?

I’m still scared, but now I see it differently
Cause I’m slowly uncovering the courage underneath.
©Gregory Loftman
Floor Sep 2019
I'm scared that I'll **** up
I'm scared that people won't accept the real me, the person with scars and a history full of pain and abuse
I'm scared that I'll throw my life away by dreaming too much
And I'm scared that I'll not dream enough
I'm scared that i will forever be scared
Trapped in my anxiety and shame
I'm scared that I won't be enough
I'm scared to lose my family and friends
I'm scared to lose my mind
I'm so close to losing my mind
I'm scared that I'll cut too deep
And I'm scared that I'll never cut deep enough
I'm scared of living
I'm scared of myself
I'm scared
Salvador Rios Aug 2015
I'm afraid of the future im afraid of myself I'm scared everyone I ever loved in my life will suddenly become nothing to me. I'm scared I'll never be loved. I'm afraid I love too much and empty myself into people because I think it will solve my loneliness but it always seems to get even worse. and i feel even more alone. I'm afraid I won't live to see the day I'm not depressed all the ******* time. I'm afraid I'll live too much, and not enjoy the moments that were special. I'm scared none of this will ever end. I'm afraid humanity will get even worse until we all **** each other into extinction. I'm scared all the girls who are victims of human trafficking will never get to live to see their loved ones for one last time. Im scared people don't see where the world is going. I'm scared I'll get sad one day and commit suicide even though I don't want to. I want to live I mutter to myself every night as I'm drowning in my own tears and I repeat it until I fall asleep. Im scared **** will never be addressed properly as it should be. I'm afraid all these sick people are still out lurking somewhere in the streets. I'm scared I'll be nothing in life. I'm scared I'll die tomorrow without feeling true love and happiness. I'm afraid I'll never move on im afraid I was never anything important. I'm scared she'll just be another memory . but I know nothing lasts forever and everyone leaves you one day... Which is hard to swallow, but it's the truth. Im scared of going to school and not having a single clue what im doing there because the boy wants to dream. But dreaming doesn't pay the rent you foolish kid. Dreaming gets you no where now continue to be a slave to society and follow these rules. Im scared my mom and dad will get deported leaving my sick sister vulnerable. I'm scared they'll lose their jobs then what would we do? I'm afraid of losing them.  Im scared all my life has been a joke, I'm afraid im a waste of space. I'm afraid of being strangers again. I'm afraid it's too late...

" what keeps you up at 1 in the morning?" She asked
Just my mind I said
Scared of beautiful
I want to be the next president of United State
Yet am scared of press conference
I want to have the highest number of followers on twitter and Hello poetry
Yet am scared of people comments
I want to be the richest man in the world
Yet am scared of appearing in forbes magazine
I want to be the next UN secretary
Yet am scared of popularity
I want to be the next Aristotle
Yet am scared of reading
I want to have a lovely and happy family
Yet am scared getting marry
I want to be among New York Times Best Selling authors
Yet am scared of writing
I want to be the next footballer of the year
Yet am scared of playing
Scared of beautiful
World without confidence
Scared of beautiful
A world of fear
Oh am so scared
I sit all day alone on my bed
Got my pillow wet with my tears
Weeping for no reason

I beat my self all day
Starving myself thinking it will help
Rather i grow fat while starving
At night i pray for the night to pass by quickly
Thinking the day will be better
Yet another horrible day

I cry for no cause
What is it that make me so scared?
What is it that am afraid of ?
Yet i cant figure it out
I push people away
People that care and loved me
I push them away cos i wanna be left alone
Yet i do that for no reason

Am i scared of not having the life i deserved?
Am i scared of not having the love i wanted?
Am i scared of the hope which seems to fade away?
Am i scared of death
Yet the puzzle is left unsolved

What is it that am scared of
What is it that make me so scared
What is it that troubles my mind
What am i afraid of
The answer is me me me me ..................
Am scared of me
Am mad at me
Am ****** at me
I hate me
Ohhhh am so scared of me
Anon Aug 2016
I love you, but I am scared of you
I am scared of what you know
Of how you think and how you feel
Of how you are
I am scared of how you see the world
I am scared of how much you know of me
that I don't know of myself
I am scared of your ability
to hurt
to maim
perhaps
to ****
I am scared of how dangerous you can be
Of how dangerous you are
Of your dark tendencies
And your twisted mind
I am scared of what is in your head

You are evil
You threaten me
Blackmail me
Use your power over me
You say 'You don't know what I am capable of'
And I don't
And that is what scares me most
The unknown

Your mind is uncharted waters
I am scared to venture into deep
For fear of being hurt in the crossfire
Because when I am close to you
I fear that you will hurt me
Sometimes, when you are angry
I fear you
I fear for myself
I fear that I am only a pawn in your wicked games
You say you can do things to me
Though I know you never would
It scares me
That you could

You know too much
And see too much
Everywhere you go your eyes flit around
You breathe in everything
You take in every detail
I am scared
of what you take in
about me

Don't you see?
How you terrify me?
You barbarian
So violent, ruthless, unpredictable
Sometimes
It is as if I don't know you
You are a demon
A devil
The spawn of Satan himself
But I love you
I love you
But I am scared of you
Nyx Aug 2018
I'm scared to see
What lies beyond these doors
The gate to my future
Whats in store?

I'm scared to let go
Of my high school freedom
Graduation is near
Times passing like the seasons

I'm scared to know
What reality has to offer
I'm not at all prepared
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter

I'm scared to find out
Which of my friends will stay
Who are the real ones
And which ones will fade

I'm scared to hold
All the power of my life
Making such a crucial choice
Cutting through me like a knife

I dont want to be scared
Of what I have now
I want to enjoy life
I'm not exactly sure how

I'll think about my future
And all that is to come
When reality comes knocking
By then I'll be done

Change will happen
Slowly throughout time
I'll take it as it comes
Dont stress in the meantime

I won't be scared.
Colleen Reilly Sep 2017
I'm not scared of the dark,
I am not afraid to die.
But darling I'm terrified.
I'm scared of the voices in my head.
I'm scared of the shadows behind my bed.
I'm scared of the living.
Darling life is a ginormous horror show.
I hope you aren't scared.
Cause you have a long way to go till you can be rid of living and the horrors that accompany it.
Darling never be like me.
Please never live in fear.
Don't be scared.
Don't be scared.
Don't be scared of the living.
Just please don't be scared like me.
Don’t be afraid to live.
Cause darling,
I'm always scared.
Rachael Sep 5
It's okay
You can talk to me
There's no need to flee
You're not my enemy
You know, I'm so lonely

It's okay
I really do like you
I only talk to few
'Cause I'm scared of you
Am I getting through

It's okay
I want to talk to you
I'm really dying to
Why am I scared of you
I shouldn't be scared of you

Scared of you, scared of you
It makes me scared of you
Scared of you, scared of you, scared of you
And now you're scared of me
Miranda Aug 2013
I used to be scared.
My biggest fear was losing you.
I had nightmares about it.
I'd wake up in the middle of the night,
Crying, gasping for air that my lungs couldn't get fast enough.
I always thought that I had the worst fear imaginable.
What could possibly be worse than losing the one you love?
But then I lost you.
You walked out of my life the exact same way you came in.
It was only then that I realized there are worse fears.
I'm no longer scared of losing you;
I already have.
Now I'm scared of something else.
I'm scared of the future.
I'm scared of my future.
I'm scared that maybe you were the best thing I'm ever going to have.
I'm scared that maybe there's nothing better out there.
I'm scared that I have already had the best,
That it's only downhill from here.
I'm scared that maybe I should've tried harder.
Maybe this was my one chance for something wonderful.
Now with all these fears swimming in my head,
I wish for my one simple fear again,
Because nothing is worse than this.
ellie Apr 2015
I'm scared of just about everything.

I'm scared of spiders, they have too many limbs and too many eyes and it makes my skin crawl.
Though I stopped admitting it years ago, I am scared of the dark. When the lights turn off and the sun goes down the idea of being alone with no idea of what is around me gives me goosebumps.
I'm scared of being hurt, even though I am always the one who ends up breaking hearts.
However much I ignore it, I am scared of silence. That complete soundless ringing that fills my head and whisks up my thoughts makes me uncomfortable in ways I cannot describe with words.
I'm scared of getting lost, because even though I want to be spontaneous like the cool girls in the movies the idea of not knowing where I am terrifies me.
Despite everything life has thrown at me, I am scared of being myself. I have a million alter egos and personalities stored in my head because the reality of who I am makes me sick.
I'm scared of outer space, and how one little push can send you floating into the unknown without ever stopping.
Unsurprisingly, I am scared of my mother dying. Through thick and thin she supports me and to this day her warth gives me life in ways nothing else does.
I'm scared of the ocean, because even though I love fish I cannot stand not being aware of what is beneath me as I paddle on the surface.
In a sick and ironic way, I am scared of dying. Despite my wishes for death and suicide attempts, when I am in a dangerous situation my stomach clenches and I cling to the life I have.

I'm scared of just about everything,
including fear itself.
I don't know really

— The End —