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Inner Demons May 12
Despite the screaming in my head,
The tears in my eyes
"I'm fine..."
Is what I said
"I'll be there in a few minutes..."
Then I put down the phone
And ran into the street
My suicide
"An accident" they'll say
The perfect plan.

The average person lies four times a day,
The most common lie is
"I'm fine"

I nvisible
'
M arred
F ucked
I nsecure
N uerotic
E mpty
The difference between actions and habits,
                   is often measured by the person you're asking.  
One bump, one line, one half ounce...
       All shared by people you don't even give a **** about.

These chemicals make me sick --
                          Limitless...Why quit?
                          When it's only ten bucks for a hit like this?
Even Jesus Christ would have gotten addicted,
                          if drugs in his day were half this good.

"Yeah, I'm smashed -- but I promise I can drive fine."
                         Walk and push the limits of a real fine line...
If I don't **** myself, or someone else... I'm happy.
                 Stare death in his eyes, wink, and start laughing.

Gasping as I swerve lanes --
Stay safe, get paid. Mundane daily.
Living a-live.. Eat. Sleep. Dream. Get laid.  
Chase feelings.

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You know me, right?

           Please, just feel me now.
                                    You love me, right?

I want to melt with you -- let our souls collide...
Dissolve the boundaries between students and teachers.
             To bridge the gap in the great divide
             No secrets between us -- bleed into the speakers.

Feel the air in your chest, and ask *** for a reason...
To stay or leave Him.
He makes excuses...

                                                     ­           ... Believe Him.
Jordan Rowan Jan 2016
It's fine
I mean it when I say,
That everything's fine
Even if I'm slowly losing my mind
I'm fine
You can believe me or not
But I'd like to say one more time
That I'm fine

It's right
Nothing better than this
Optimistic lunacy
In the face of cold misery
Dead friends
While they drink themselves to life
Smiles ten miles wide
But I know that it's alright

Break backs
Trying make them take me back
Send love but it's never enough
I guess I'm alright with that
Send notes
Written in calligraphy
All the words read perfectly
Crying out to come back to me

I'm fine
Please believe me when I lie
Straight to your worried eye
That I will be just fine
Take time
I smile when I hear the words
Please, say that you're alright
Even when I don't know what it's like
Bison Jun 2016
Most of the time
It feels like I don't feel
Like nothing is real
And that's kind of fine
I tell people I'm fine
But honestly, I'm dying
No one is there
And no one will care
Whether I'm here
Or whether I'm there
I can not escape
The rays of you
I tried to get away
From the thing
That hurts me the most
But you always come back
Ur in my dreams
And ur in my head
But I'm fine.
You keep saying everything's fine,
But honestly I don't believe you.

I've been betrayed over and over again,
And set aside by those whom I thought friends.
I've been judged for being me;
and for wanting company.
I've changed my ways and habits to be to their likeness. They in turn spit in my face.

I've been forgotten by those who I thought of as equals, as true friends, maybe even family.
And yet I'm here thinking about those who have wronged me, asking myself what I did  to deserve this.

I've been declared guilty, guilty by association. Bound to be forgotten and never spoken to.

And all of this because, I was innocently honest about one tiny thing,
That turned out to be massive in the eyes of mummy's boy.
rose Sep 4
...
I had coffee and a cigarette for breakfast
So yeah I'm doing fine
I've become good at taking weight off of other peoples shoulders
and
Searching for happiness in everything
:)
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