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Ete Dec 2011
We are consciousness, and only consciousness.

The consciousness that is somehow bound to the body, is conscious of everything.

Thoughts are like people moving around in the market place. Thoughts are everywhere and when we give our attention to thoughts, when our consciousness looks at thoughts, which are everywhere to be seen, which are all around us, we experience thinking.

It is very important that we understand that we are consciousness and only consiousness.

This way we can free ourselves from the prison that we are in but yet don't know we are in. Humanity is enslaved thanks to the mind. Not just because the mind exists, but because of the believes that we carry in the mind, which are believes that keep us limited. We believe things that are not truly true, and this keeps us in a kind of prison.

When we are born in a body, we are free and we are just consciousness, purely conscious.

As we grow, all the information that is already here in the world is ingested into our mind. As we continue to grow, and as all this information continues to grow in our mind, we start to forget that we are just pure consciousness. By the time we are teenagers, and by the time we start to become adults, we have totally forgotten that we are just consciousness and we live our lives in a little box because we limit ourselves with the believes that are inevitably conditioned upon us. We believe that we are this body and we are not this body. When i say we, i am talking about the consciousness, the pure consciousness.

And the problem is not only that we believe we are this body, but we grow the habit to think compulsively.

Anything in this world can become a habit, and for the mayority of humanity , thinking has become a habit.

So what happens?
The pure consciousness that you are is never pure, is never silent, is never fully conscious because first of all, we are taught to believe that we are the body-mind, and second of all, we grow the habit to always think by always having to judge ourselves to see if what  we are doing is right or wrong, to see if we are to be punished or if we are to be rewarded. And this supports and strengthens the believe that we are the thinker, that we are the body.

When we don't allow spaces of no-thought, of no-thinking, we forget that we are an empty sky.  

My effort on leaving behind all these words is to wake up as many people as possible.

People are missing a great opportunity.

People stay living in a little room when they can be living in a huge palace.

All that has to do be done is to find a little distance between thoughts, between feelings, between everything and always remain a watching presence. Now, we are always this watching presence, we are always consciousness even if we are unconscious about it. Even if we are unconscious about the fact that we are consciousness , we remain consciousness. For example, all animals are consciousness, they are awareness, but they are unaware of this. Their body limits them because it lacks intelligence. They are not fully and totally free and they can not be either. But at the same time they don't have to be. By nature they  don't have to be intelligent, they are fine just how they are and they are in the process of one day becoming conscious like we are, like the humans are. Still, there are many humans who remain unconscious of the fact that they are consciousness and only consciousness. Without shape, without form. Just consciousness, awareness, everywhere. This whole universe is consciousness and when this consciousness is merged to a body, the body is simply a contact point of the consciousness.

At some point, when the body of a baby is being developed in the mothers womb, a little spec of consciousness enters and binds to the body of the baby and this happens because through the human body, through a human experience, the consciousness is capable of becoming aware of itself and this realization is possible in any one life time, in any one human experience. But, it has not been so. It has taken many many life-times and many many people have not yet realized this. People can't even believe that they had a life before this life and that they can have a life after this life as well. People can't even conceive this. But it is true. People have been going life after life, obviously and naturally not remembering the past life, but going life after life not going beyond life. Not going beyond the human or atleast not even understanding, discovering, learning , what life is, what the human is. People remain ignorant and afraid because of the conditioning that they receive.

All conditions prevent the being from trascending their lives and consciousness because in our true nature we are totally unconditioned- free-beings. Any condition that is imposed on us goes against our very nature and anything that goes against nature is bound to have problems.  

And so my reason for saying these things that i have discovered to be true in me, is to help people remember or to atleast give people a new idea that there is the possibility of something more, of something greater than life, something with no limitations, something with no death, something that can not get sick, that can not feel pain, something of pure joy and peace , of pure love.

Every single human being is searching for this something, every single human being is searching for themselves. And they are searching because they remember. They have been themselves before. They are themselves right now. They are consciousness right now, but there are so many things in the mind that they forgot and they dont know. And when they hear something that is true, when something is said that points to that consciousness, automatically something is felt inside, something is triggered.

This whole search for truth or for enlightenment is a search for our own selfs.

It is a remembering process that happens.

Go into this search as empty as possible.

The less conditions you carry , the less knowledge you carry, the more simple and humble you are, the easier it is to remember who you are, because it does not take knowledge to know that you are consciousness, that you are awareness, it simply takes consciousness and awareness.

So it is important to be aware of everything, of every single thought that comes in and out. Be aware of the believes that you believe and the believes that you don't believe.

I don't know if there are people who for some reason are not ready to awaken, even though they can, even though every single human being can awaken, but,  there are people who have put too much into their believes, too much faith, and who can not even concieve the idea of dropping these believes, these investments. Now, the funny thing is, that even all these people who are unaware, are consciousness themselves. And it makes sense that these people who are unconscious , are here in the world so that other people can wake up, so that other people can learn from them, so that other people can see their unconsciousness, can see their behaviors, and use them towards their journey, towards their enlightenment, towards their shift of consciousness.  

"We are itself the consciousness presenting itself as human nature" - Mooji.

We , the consciousness, invisible consciousness that can not be seen nor touched, which one day was before Earth was created, that consciousness that is everywhere like space, over time has manifested itself in the world of form, in the world of matter and eventually through the movement of what appears to be time, manifested itself as a human being.

It is an invisible yet conscious phenomena that has managed to make a form out of atoms and elements, managed to make a form out of itself, out of elements of itself, and managed to create the world that we can see today. And seeing the vastness of the universe, we can see the many possibilities that exist, the many possibilities of consciousness to keep growing, to keep creating, to keep expanding, to keep evolving.  

One day i am not going to be able to express myself through Esteban, yet i will be expressing myself through other bodies, with other names. And i have been expressing myself through other bodies also, like for example one of my favorite man, Osho, Bhagwan. Osho is I. Osho is the same consciousness that is in Esteban, expressing. Now, we look different in the outside, our voices are different, our accents are different, but it is the same consciousness trying to express the same thing. Once we know that we are this limitless consciousness, we can start focusing on creating things. But right now what is important is that everybody realizes that we are this consciousness, because if not everybody knows this, then we can not create, we can not work to our full potential. Once we know who we are, once we know WHAT we are, we will know exactly what we have to do, what we can do, and we would do it with a quality that has not existed before. A quality of super consciousness, a godly quality. So before we focus on the outside world we have to focus on the inside world first. Before we can create beauty outside we have to create beauty inside, because the outside world is a reflection of the inside world.

If the inside world is not pure, is not balanced, then the outside world will not be pure, will not be balanced.

If inside of us there is tension, anxiety, fear, hate, anger, violence; this is what will be expressed outside of us. If inside of us there is love, wisdom, peace, joy, beauty; then outside of us there will be all of this as-well.

The problem is not whether we are thinking negatively or positively, the problem is that we are thinking unconsciously.

That we think negative or positive thoughts does not matter as long as we know that we are thinking. And not because we are the thinker but because thoughts are passing through the mind and here the consciousness that we are , "thinks". But it does not think as in it is doing something, it simply sees the thoughts. The consciousness does not even move, does not even blink, does not have eyes like these eyes. The consciousness just is, and the consciousness sees thoughts moving, occuring.

The problem is not that the consciousness is seeing negative thoughts, the problem is that if the consciousness is seeing negative thoughts, it believes the negative thoughts.

You forget that you are the awareness that watches thoughts, totally separate from the thoughts.

You are simply giving attention to the thoughts.

Like i said before, thoughts are moving all around you. You can not see or grab them because they are so subtle in their manifestation, yet they ARE energy in movement, they exist but in different frequencies of existence. And they are everywhere.

When we experience thoughts, what ever category of thoughts, it is because we are giving our attention to those thoughts. Every single thought is available to us. The mind is not just your mind, my mind; The mind is one universal facility, available to all.

And so, the problem is not that you are thinking negativily.

The problem is that you are thinking unconsciously.

Become more conscious of your thinking. Become conscious of thoughts. If the thoughts are negative, watch them. If the thoughts are positive, watch them. But don't judge them as negative or positive, dont judge the thinking. If negative thoughts are percieved, don't start saying to yourself  "oh why am im always thinking negatively? ;( " because this IS another thought and you are not watching it. Usually THIS is the thought that is not watched.

You watch a thought, for example, you watch a negative thought. This negative thought brings out negative emotions because thoughts are the cause of emotions. Emotions are energies-in-motion. You watch your thinking, you watch the negative thought and then you say, "oh this thought is bad, why am i thinking these thoughts? I should not be thinking this way, what is wrong with me?" that right there is a thought also and you are thinking, believing, that it is you!

Any judgement is a form of thought.

Anything that consists of words or symbols and even images are thoughts. It is all mind and the problem is that there are thoughts that are not being watched, observed, and this is keeping you unconscious and troubled.

There are many thoughts that we are not aware of.

For example, we watch a negative thought , we percieve a negative thought, but then the next thought that talks about that negative thought, we don't see because we think, believe, that we are the one who talks instead of remaining the watching consciousness that we are.

We are not the one who talks because we don't even have a mouth to talk through. We are simply and only consciousness. We use the human body as an instrument to talk and express ourselves but we remain the conscious awareness.

Those thoughts that are not being watched are keeping us from going deeper into life.

These unobserved thoughts are keeping us traped in the mind.

So if you ever ask yourself the question, what is life?
What is my purpose in life?
What should i do?
What should i not do?
If you are not out of the mind, you will not get the true answer because the mind is limited to these questions.

The mind will only give you that which has already been given. It will not give you originality.

Simply try this out:

When ever you are experiencing thinking, let the thoughts be, don't judge them as negative or positive thoughts, as good or bad thoughts, just watch them. If you do judge them and you say "*** why am i thinking that?! " watch that, watch that judgement. Keep watching, just simply watching, purely aware of every single thought, keep watching and you will start to feel a distance, a silence, a space.

See how long you can go from thought to no-thought to thought.
See how long you can remain in a silent gap between thoughts.
Watch your thoughts, watch your thinking and see how the watchingness slowly expands.
See how the silent gaps become longer.
And see the peace that these silent gaps bring.
Often I think of the beautiful town
That is seated by the sea;
Often in thought go up and down
The pleasant streets of that dear old town,
And my youth comes back to me.
And a verse of a Lapland song
Is haunting my memory still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I can see the shadowy lines of its trees,
And catch, in sudden gleams,
The sheen of the far-surrounding seas,
And islands that were the Hesperides
Of all my boyish dreams.
And the burden of that old song,
It murmurs and whispers still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I remember the black wharves and the ships,
And the sea-tides tossing free;
And Spanish sailors with bearded lips,
And the beauty and mystery of the ships,
And the magic of the sea.
And the voice of that wayward song
Is singing and saying still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I remember the bulwarks by the shore,
And the fort upon the hill;
The sunrise gun, with its hollow roar,
The drum-beat repeated o’er and o’er,
And the bugle wild and shrill.
And the music of that old song
Throbs in my memory still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I remember the sea-fight far away,
How it thundered o’er the tide!
And the dead captains, as they lay
In their graves, o’erlooking the tranquil bay
Where they in battle died.
And the sound of that mournful song
Goes through me with a thrill:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I can see the breezy dome of groves,
The shadows of Deering’s Woods;
And the friendships old and the early loves
Come back with a Sabbath sound, as of doves
In quiet neighborhoods.
And the verse of that sweet old song,
It flutters and murmurs still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

I remember the gleams and glooms that dart
Across the school-boy’s brain;
The song and the silence in the heart,
That in part are prophecies, and in part
Are longings wild and vain.
And the voice of that fitful song
Sings on, and is never still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

There are things of which I may not speak;
There are dreams that cannot die;
There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak,
And bring a pallor into the cheek,
And a mist before the eye.
And the words of that fatal song
Come over me like a chill:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

Strange to me now are the forms I meet
When I visit the dear old town;
But the native air is pure and sweet,
And the trees that o’ershadow each well-known street,
As they balance up and down,
Are singing the beautiful song,
Are sighing and whispering still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”

And Deering’s Woods are fresh and fair,
And with joy that is almost pain
My heart goes back to wander there,
And among the dreams of the days that were,
I find my lost youth again.
And the strange and beautiful song,
The groves are repeating it still:
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
Sachin Subedi May 2018
Action is the reality
Imagination and thoughts are false
The indulgent and lies
Action brings out manifestation
The thoughts and imagination are the bargains
To the maybe actions to be
The maybe is a possibility
But not the reality in itself
Karma is what the action brings
The situation is a stimuli
The brain is the stimulus
The thoughts are the response
Of the stimuli to the stimulus
The action is what brings about the change

In a while the thought seems to bring out the change
And the transformation from within
The transformation in the thought plane
Is a trap in itself
A new thought comes in its place
The action brings about the change in real
The winding up in the trap of thoughts
Brings about the ego self to build up
The action unwinds the chain of thoughts

The universe is a plan of action
Not the plan of thoughts
The thoughts are meant to be a tool
For the action to be performed
The human race back from generations
Has chosen thoughts rather than actions
The actions, if there are
There are the thoughts driven action.
The less is the action driven thoughts

The thought driven action
Nourishes the thoughts rather than action
On the contrary
The action driven thoughts
Nourishes the action
As manifestation and karma are action driven
Rather than thoughts driven
A modern man gets confused
By keeping an eye on thought
Saying he/she didn’t do anything to nobody
But karma didn’t go well
If he/she has the conscious actions
With the thoughts as a tool driven to action
He/she would have managed to acknowledge
His/her karma and know for themselves
Where the karma took directions

Karma is the action that has no reaction
The thoughts are purely reactions
The stimulus to the stimuli
When indulged drives more and more reaction
Hence more thoughts
A thought can never satisfy
The more, the thoughts come into place again
A modern human seem to be indulged
In the reaction
Rather than performing the action instead
Being and action
The human ideal
If anyone is criticizing actions and appreciating thoughts void action, he/she is doing it wrong.
Vamika Sinha Aug 2015
Insipid darkness
is no better womb for
Decent thoughts, maybe good
GREAT thoughts.
Thoughts that will flow
like the lava of imported electricity
not-but-should-be circulating in Gaborone's veiny grid.

But who cares?
Well, okay, your mother, now swearing
at the singed-black TV screen
(she's missed her daily soap).

Mother Darkness breeds thinkers.
Tell me, in the scramble for your cellphone flashlight,
did you find your inner Plato?
Ah, no, you surely became
a lightbulb,
humming with the shocks of unwritten words.

It is these minutes of lightless inertia when
it's best to tap your swollen top instead
of lighting a candle.
See, sun rays and tube lights dull the finish of ideas;
corporation-induced darkness provides more suitable conditions.
So you must tap the glass globe on your shoulders
and feel, yes,
feel the grey filament
within, buzzzzzzzz


Edison's 'Eureka!' finally
happening, as all 'Eurekas!' do, in
(literally) colourless mundane.

(Note to self: Write a thank-you email to that pathetic power corporation for your rebirth as a glow)

Thoughts and thoughts, thoughts,
thoughts and  
coming in viscous gallops,
extra voltage baby, thoughts!
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,


You are no longer living!
You exist as shards of yes, one GREAT whole,
one...brace-taste the word now...

You are glimmers of something greater.
You are hot charges of energy your country failed to harness.

Sparked at the flick
of a lazy corporation's switch:

cut the power which
cut the flow in the varicose veins of Gaborone which
cut your bedroom's plastic brightness which
cut the bored-contented moment you were wallowing in which
cut your breath (still-half-scared of the dark, you) which
cut the blood flow to your grey matter which
cut the oxygen supply, replaced the fuel with electricity

and then you could think.


what will you do with them? If
you dare the sun's brilliance,
you might land up as some poor Icarus;
if you wait a half-volt longer,
I'm afraid the fuse will blow, madam and
your mother cannot comprehend these blue-light shocks,
please find a paper and a pen

So the electricity must, after all,
power something.
And in the crackling dash
to eke out your blow-blaze-brim-burn words
onto something that will last longer
than today's ration of blackness,

the power comes back.

Mind chars into itself.
Snuffed too soon, you pathetic power corporation,
why did you put me out like that?

Your mother turns to you and mutters
'Thank God.'
This poem has a second meaning too, if you bother to think about it. Maybe sit in the darkness to figure it out?
Simran Sep 2014
my thoughts
my thoughts
my thoughts
my thoughts
never stop
my thoughts
they can't stop
my thoughts
i'm surrounded
my thoughts
i'm caged by them
my thoughts
just let me forget
my thoughts
and the ache that comes
my thoughts
make my chest swell
my thoughts
make my body heave
my thoughts
are scribbled across my vision
my thoughts
cease to calm
my thoughts
my thoughts
my thoughts
are all wrapped up around you
and they won't stop
Thought Broadcasting

Silence is a silver ship
Traveling at the speed of the darkness,
Black holes are the edifices in which I
Build my thoughts-
Word by word,
Each and every syllable forms upon my lips,
And then broadcasted, aloud-
Thoughts are killers- thoughts can harm-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
Within this room I write my thoughts
With a pen that is void of ink, or a pencil
That has no lead,
Invisible they are, but somehow,
These thoughts are broadcasted aloud.
Thoughts are killers thoughts control-
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
A silver ship with its sail to the wind,
A wild horse that canters across vast terrain, or
Pebbles that roll off of my fingertips,
That splash into the creek, one by one,
You can see, you can hear, as
My thoughts, broadcasted aloud.
My thoughts can be heard from afar.
My thoughts are a flame that only I can quench.
I am in control of what comes into my mind,
As my hands build the world from
The bricks of Time,
My thoughts control the world.
My thinking destroys those, whom I abhor,
My thoughts control the downtrodden.
Silence is a silver ship, or
The dome beneath which I dwell-
I build my edifice beneath this dome.
No one dares to enter, as
I have broadcasted a message to the world,
My eyes order the world away;
My thoughts are broadcasted aloud,
A bad thought can destroy, as good ones
Create and control,
My thoughts control the world…

Claudia Krizay
naifa aboali Jan 2016
These thoughts , Oh these thoughts
how they try to corrupt me
they silence me
they scare me
my skull is going to burst
my dark thoughts have fallen in love with me
they won't leave my side
they crave me
These thoughts ,Oh these thoughts
they never let me rest
they have unlocked the gates of hell in my mind 
they love to torture me
These thoughts, oh these thoughts
how they love me so
they hold me tightly
i'm being held hostage
they choke me
they need me
these thoughts Oh, these thoughts
they're my stalker
they know me like no other
they are every tear i shed
they haunt my mind
they are forever
These thoughts, Oh these thoughts  

Percy Order Dec 2016
Now there he is, dying
In old age he suffers
from liver damage he dies
Though he suffers

He smiles.

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
This is the night she dies
He cries
She smiles

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a day
The day of their anniversary
It was there last
Though he know
He smiles

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
The night his son
Had a son
He is very happy
He smiles

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There was once a day
The day of a wedding
The wedding of his child
He smiles

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
The night his son
Goes to college
He is sad

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a day
The day his son
Have gone to school
He is proud

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
A Night like no other
The birth of his son
He smiles

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a day
They knew
He is a father
He have a son

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
A sad night
They fought
A misunderstanding

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a day
The best of his days
The day of their wedding
He is very joyful

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a night
The night he proposed
She said yes
He remembers

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There once a day
The day they met
She was beautiful
She still is

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles

There are more memories
He could not remember
But in his heart
It stays forever

His quiet thoughts
He thinks
He remembers
He smiles
He dies in peace
Emma Chatonoir Oct 2018
I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom in the wake of what happened
I still remember how he cried saying this was a mistake, how he didn’t know how this happened
The brokenness in his voice and shaking is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in the bathroom when someone asked me what was going on
I still remember explaining the assault, how I couldn’t process what happened
The crying on the other end of the phone is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting at a desk while an investigator looked at me
I still remember trying to protect his identity, but knowing I had to come forward
The confusion surrounding why I was acting this way is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in a damp shower when I wrote a letter to the person who asked what was going on
I still remember telling them to love him as they had before
The feeling that everything I wrote was not for my benefit, but for theirs, is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in his room again like nothing had ever happened
I still remember feeling like something bad really had happened, and denial isn’t healthy
The last hug we shared before it all blew up is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting with a staff member who noticed I felt uneasy
I still remember feeling like I was overreacting, but others around me felt as if I was hiding something
The moment they figured out what really happened is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting at my desk when I thought he was gonna **** himself
I still remember how I asked if he was okay, and I got a one word answer
The realization I should never speak to him again is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting on the floor of a new bedroom that had no bad memories
I still remember the flashbacks that came in waves over what had happened
The feeling of his touch is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in class, in church, in companionship, and in complete isolation when the flashbacks returned
I still remember feeling powerless as everything looked blurry
The people who helped to pull me out is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting with friends when they asked why there wasn’t a formal investigation
I still remember saying that he needed to be protected and to live a great life
The look on their faces is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in a hotel room when I remembered he has the same anxiety
I still remember how I tried to move on and said that this wasn’t just my problem
The realization I can’t hurt him more than he has is something I will never forget
Keep him in your thoughts
I was sitting in bed this morning when I reminded myself why I never made things harder than they needed to be
I still remember how he cried saying this was a mistake, how he didn’t know how this happened
The brokenness in his voice and shaking is something I will never forget
*Keep him in your thoughts
Wyatt Jun 2018
Current thoughts blow my brains
like rich guys blow their currency,
hearing complaints about coherency.
Well here's some thoughts
I'm thinking currently
that'll certainly
concern you deeply.
I feel it more than ever,
condemned to death at conception.
There's a definite craft in deception.
I've been meshed between
loneliness and camouflage
to hide the fact that depression
gets in the way of my greatness.
I repeat the same ritual daily, saying
"I'll have this world perplexed
and obsessed with every word I utter
if the only type of story I could tell
wasn't the hardest one to muster."
Having a dream is a nice thing
but notice how nothing is changing,
I'm in the same scenery
while everybody around me
is okay with decreasing
their lifespans by many years.

I wanna live long enough
to where it feels like I lived forever
while the impacts I made actually live forever,
but my current thoughts are pessimistic.
I'm hurting, will I even live to see thirty?
I get lonelier every year,
I try to motivate but I live in fear.
I'd like to believe I can numb it.
Talkin' lies on my name?
Now you’ve done it,
this here is more than I can stomach.
I need brain food, change moods
but you’re more like brain *****.
Needed a friend near,
but now the devil movin' supersonic.
What is happiness when pain like this
has always been iconic to an artist?
If the devil ever went away
would I still be able to
respect my craft the way it's made?
We all strive to make it,
but the best art strips us naked
and all these scars we've accumulated
become apart of a common trade.
Current thoughts, I always dig 'em up
and let the blood trail lead me down a path.
No surprise, now I can't relax.
I always dreamed of being a story-teller
captivating the reader so much
that I couldn't do it any better.
Sometimes I question if I'm living,
I shed my soul but I get no living.
I question my moves daily,
but there is no leaving.
9-5, my whole life is a lie.
Have I always been deceiving?

Dreams of greatness and glory
reside inside my current thoughts,
so why don't I ever look alive like I'm lost?
Maybe I did everything wrong,
maybe I asked too many questions.
Maybe I tried too hard
or didn't try hard enough.
Maybe the reason behind my existence
is hiding right under my nose.
Maybe there's no payoff
for all my woes,
maybe there's punishment
behind these words I wrote.
Maybe she hates me, maybe he hates me,
maybe this is why nobody would date me.
Everybody wary of me now
‘cause I’ve been to myself lately.
My mental state is real shaky
but I’m too headstrong,
so I need somebody to sedate me.
I’m the best of many worlds,
there ain’t no debating.
Current thoughts making me stingy,
keeping scary things to myself
because there is no reason to believe
these people around would help me.
I see a tragedy right around the corner
while everybody else acts like nothing's happening.
Meanwhile you're still talking on my name
like you’re on to something.
You live through a lie,
you don’t stand for nothing.
Maybe it's frustrating being me
so when I see somebody
I feel like they don't understand me.
They see me too woke,
but the words that get out
only surface so I don't choke.
Current thoughts,
there's too much I hold back.
Everybody always says
I got a way with words,
but these words always
make you come by less.
I don't write to get rid,
I write to stay hidden
inside this bunker I created.

Current thoughts stick close to home,
can't move as much as I can when I'm alone.
People counting up all these things
I should be doing with my life
like my life ain't my life.
I don't ever understand why
people only get involved
when they wanna weigh on my mind.
You always arrive on time.
It's a constant battle for me,
can't ever be alone so I can
act like myself and not this thing
that grows and feeds on what others think.
Sometimes I think about darkness
and the world can't come to handle it
so I try to suppress it and push it to the side,
close the door and leave it alone,
pretending like there's no handle on it.
I can't get a handle on this,
it eats me alive like I'm a dish.
Life won't cater to my wish, I admit
because if it did I wouldn't exist.
Taxes, spiteful jobs, pain, games in suicide
and believe me it sinks deep in my mind.
Why live here? Why give it the time
when the government
waves you around like a puppet?
Flips you upside down, shakes out
the last few cents hiding
inside the corner of your pocket?
Current thoughts of mine consist
of a world without law or a law that
stands over your means of control
that take the minds of the masses
to extract their souls, it's tragic.

Current thoughts now take over
the kinder thoughts I had
when I didn't feel ******* over.
Turned your back on me several times,
now I know our love is long over.
Maybe it'd be easier to cope
if I wasn't always tryna stay sober.
Feeling jaded 'cause I still ain't
the high roller I write about,
I wrote when I was younger
about who I'd be when I'm older
and to no surprise nothing got better.
21 comes in just a few months.
I could turn to a bottle,
I could try a new brand of fun.
Try to forget about the stress,
but this all is only temporary.
So much for a cunning visionary.
Parents are sick, bills start to stack and I
only make a couple hundred a check.
Am I doing enough?
The work intimidates me
because I see so many working full-time
with no choice and they're full of hate for it.
What can I say? I don't want that to be me.
Back in high school I hated fitting in,
so I was branded an outcast and now I'm
phased out of every social scene.
I got lost in my studies and colleges bailed on me.
My idea of smart and theirs always differed,
so now I must struggle because my life
shouldn't be dictated by a midterm.
My current thoughts, there are plenty,
you could even say they're close to infinity.
I've got a lot of new problems.
lily Apr 2018
thoughts, thoughts
running through my head

thoughts, thoughts
as i lay in bed

thoughts, thoughts
at 12 AM

thoughts, thoughts
at 4 AM

thoughts, thoughts
won't go away

because thoughts, thoughts
are here to stay
Susan Arthur Nov 2018
Depression is like being trapped in an endless loop
and no matter what you do, you can never escape it.
Like the world and everyone in it is against you and
they are trying their **** hardest to get you down.
You are broken
Messed up
Who wants to love a mess up
Who cares about a broken person
You don’t even care about yourself so
who else would
You can’t breathe, can’t move and it kills
everything about you
Life is a constant struggle between life
and death but with depression,
It seems like death is just the better option
To most people, depression is being sad or
having an “episode” which is far from the truth
Depression takes away your breath,
knocks you down and never lets you up
It hits and hits you till you can’t handle
anything anymore
You cant handle it
Or anything
It kills everything you have left inside
Your mind is your enemy and
you can’t even get out of bed anymore
You think you are just tired or school is getting harder
and you think the sad thoughts will go away
but they never do, they get louder and
become more often
The world hits you like a tsunomi and
you just can’t catch your breath  
Life wipes you and attacks you and
you think you can’t win
And maybe you can’t
Maybe you won’t win
But ******* it,
you can’t handle the thoughts
The thoughts you get are
what **** you emotionally the worst,
The thoughts
You arent good enough
You arent smart
Or pretty
Or worth it
The thoughts are what **** you
You arent worth it
Why are you alive
You shouldnt be alive
Just give up
Just let go
And when you do give up
, that destroys whatever sanity you had left
You don’t leave bed and when you do,
you arent yourself
You’re a broken you but no one seems to notice
Or care
Everything is different and you can’t handle that
Your life falls apart
But was it ever together
You arent happy, you struggle
You want help but cant ask and arent even sure
whats going on and it feels like you are ready to explode
Your thoughts are controlling you and your mind is the enemy
You arent worth it
You should be dead
Your whole world crashes down on
you as you believe the thoughts and they consume you
You are your thoughts and
It is all you know
The deadly thoughts attach to you
and you cant handle it anymore
The thoughts
You arent good enough
You arent smart
Or pretty
Or worth it
The thoughts are what **** you
You arent worth it
Why are you alive
You shouldnt be alive
Just give up
Just let go
But no one sees it
And no one helps you
Because depression is like that
It ruins you
It destroys the old you and
you dont think you will ever see that you again
And maybe you wont
Life crumbles apart
Slips away
But people notice
And you can get help
People always notice
They do care
Depression doesnt mean the end
It can be the beginning
People do care
They do notice
You will be you but
A better you
A stronger you
Cause you are loved
You are important and worth it
You might still have bad days
We all do
But they will get better
Maybe slowly but you will feel better
The thoughts get better
They arent as bad
You are important
You truly are
People love you
You are cared for
People love you
You are alive
And thats a great thing
Remember that
Amitav Radiance Jul 2014
Your thoughts can cage you or release you
Mind can give you a new realization
Or sweep you under a deep spell of hallucination
Imaginary demons can seize your thoughts
Depends on what our thoughts are
Repeated thoughts can become a reality
Facing at fine surprises or rude awakenings
Feed the mind with right thoughts
Let not unwarranted thoughts sneak in
Mind is powerful, subconscious a powerhouse
Thoughts in slumber suddenly becomes a reality
Choose your reality, for it depends on the thoughts
A sparkling and clear mind harbors positivity
Positive thoughts will steer you towards your destination
Such is the power of thoughts; we delve not much into them
Mind the thoughts and you will celebrate life
Bryan Lunsford Aug 2018
It is within an unusually warm and early spring night,
Here, where I begin to feel something ever so unusual while looking deeply into this goddess' eyes,

With her eyes like a pair of diamonds sparkling in the sky,
It's at this moment–in this part of the night–
Love simply didn't need a reply,

With candles lit,
As it's surely to her delight,
And with rose petals all over the bed–
That, surely, was to her surprise,

Though, right now,
Can you really blame me for having this nervous butterfly-feeling whirling around inside?

For this will be the first-ever night that I'll get to hold this beauty tight,

And for such a divine beauty,
Surely I'd make any sacrifice to make sure her every whim and need is perfectly sufficed,

Yes, with our feelings for each other that couldn't be more pure or refined,
I already know, without hesitance, our love would satisfy any god's most delicate appetite inside,

And although, this world may never know how I truly feel inside,
I, myself, know with certainty that I love this woman more than anything I've ever loved in my whole life,

Yet, with nothing more than the sound of crickets chirping within the night,
I proceed to lay this beauty down–
Here, pulling her close to my side (where I tell her)
"I love you, angel, good night",

And even though our love never did need a reply,
She said
"I love you too, sweet dreams baby, don't forget to hold me ever so tight",

And thus with this crazy, whirling, butterfly-feeling, again, that I begin to feel take over inside,
She rolls over unexpectedly and surprises me with a kiss to seal any other reply–
To only roll back over and close her eyes,

Oh, and in the midst of her every action–every move leaving me mesmerized,
She decides to move an inch closer to me,
(Where I wrap my arm around her thighs)
As it's also nearly simultaneously that I hear the clock's stride finally hit midnight,

With a chime that struck once–
Then struck twice,
I begin to hear a set of chimes strike–and strike until they chime twelve times,  
(As these chimes come from this evilly wicked, horrid and heinous clock of mine)

Yes!–with this clock being a clock that through time I have come to slowly hate and despise!

Though, this tower of a clock reminds me of its presence with not the tics nor the tocs–
No, only when the minute hand climbs and the hour's hand meets another notch,

As only then, within that second of the minute, does my mind's thoughts get crossed and rocked–
With my thoughts that become locked within a box
(As it'll be for the next sixty minutes)
I'll just lie there and remain distraught,

Oh, and you ask why?–
Simply because of this chiming noise that won't stop!

With these reoccurring chimes that take my sleep and make most nights a loss–
I can assure you that if I don't go to bed by one or two o'clock,
Any sleep for me will become more and more implausible by every tic of the clock,

Yes, nearly impossible–
For it'll be with the next four or five hours, I'll just lie there, roll, and toss,

Though this is a different night!–
As I'm reminded with our legs crossed and with our fingers interlocked,

Yet, here as I begin to feel the warmth of her body block and fend off any kind or sorts of lingering winter's frost,
I also sense that numerous candles are still glowing bright,
(With the sight of their ambient light flickering off of the bedside's wall from abroad)

And, within this room filled with sentiment as I hear not a sound at all,
I smell the candle's aromatic scents,
With the atmosphere within the air being ever so calm,

Until that is, I hear another chime of a ****–
With it sounding like a melody that's gone ever so wrong–
It's with this tower of a clock, right here, that has just let me know it's now the hour of one o'clock–
And one o'clock, right on the dot,

With only one lone chime that I heard–as everything then simply paused and stopped,

Though, within my mind and with these thoughts that refuse to stop,
I reassure myself–
Knowing that the time is only one o'clock,

For I know I still have an aplenty of time to close my eyes and make these endless lines of thoughts stop,

So to this brilliant mind of mine,
You know that it's clearly time to let these thoughts wander off,

Just close your eyes and let your mind stop–

Though, didn't I just say enough with your thoughts?

Oh, and I can see you might think a lot,
But clearly and obviously you're not thinking about squat!

So just stop or I swear to god,
If you don't stop with these god awful thoughts,
I'll have no other option than to smash and squash your head against these bricks outside of this wall and then leave you there to rot–

For if you don't stop this exact instant then I am almost certain your beautiful woman will become a loss,

And I'm sure you don't want that to happen again, now do you?

So just stop with these thoughts–
Quit fooling around and whatever you do–
Oh, and whatever you do,
Don't let this beauty see that crazed loony side inside of you,

Just fall asleep now and you both can wake up tomorrow around noon,

Yes, just close your eyes and count these sheep jumping over the moon,
And count them jumping one by one–then two by two,

Yet, between one and two,
Surely I knew I was bound to come unglued,
(With the loony that came right out of me as I hear a tune)

With a chime that struck once and then twice,
It left my mind to know not what to do,

Though, that doesn't mean I am confused,
With the duo of chimes that struck–
Only letting me know it's now into the minutes of the night that come directly after two,

And though,
As I begin feeling as if a disaster was nearing in soon,
Still, I knew not what to do–

Because I know nothing as I'm thinking of nothing and just fading away within the scents of her perfume,

(Where I begin fading away within this serenity and hearing not a tune)
I feel the weight of my eyelids begin to feel like a caving-in roof weighing at least a ton or two,

And with just one of a few wondrous thoughts still wandering on through,
I wonder
"Could this be sleep that is nearing in soon?”,

With this feeling of a wonderful tranquil sensation subduing and leaving my whole body consumed,
(As I'm weary and with clearly not a thought left in this room)
I take one last deep breath
(With my lungs swelling like a balloon)

And within a dream is where I have just entered into–:

Yes!–As I'm awakened and with the insanity within in me being let loose to roam throughout this room,
My mind, then, begins to shift back and forth (like something caught drifting between a typhoon and a monsoon)

Where realizing as I view that I've opened my eyes too soon–
With it being this beauty here of mine that is the one who is creating this horrendous little tune,

And feeling, as I hear–
With every single breath that she breathes rattling the room–the walls–and even the shingles upon the roof,
I feel my mind, here, completely coming all the way unglued–
For all I want to do is make everything within this room mute!

Yes, that's all I want to do!–

For I’m sure I wouldn't even be in such a foul mood if I wasn’t sleep deprived,
And if this beauty here of mine and her snoring roar weren’t the main culprits of keeping me, my mind, and this night alive,

Though, hearing with her roaring of a snore that is beginning to drive me crazy inside–
Yes, as she snores, there!–just an inch or two away from my side–
I hear with her snore only growing more and more–

As I, then, within this second, try to ignore a chord of chimes striking once, and then striking twice,
(With this clock striking three times to remind me once again of the time)

–With this night now being at least 3:03, 3:04, and could possibly even be 3:05,
I know this night is at the most three or four hours away from seeing the sun shine bright through my window blinds,

Oh, and surely I already know I probably would just close my eyes–
Yes, that's probably what I would do!
But this little beauty here of mine is worse than any set of chimes,

And surely indecisive,
(As I move the pillow over my ears while I'm consumed by an irritating form of fright)
I move my body a little to the left and then a few inches to the right,
Where I hear her demon's rumbling from inside,
And screaming as if they're trying to come out and fight–

(Which is where I begin thinking)
“Is waking her up really that much of a crime?”

For if she knew she was snoring at such a high decibel level,
Then I'm sure she wouldn't even mind,

And thus with my decisions that couldn't agree more with my mind,
I decide to slightly lift her head and wiggle her,
(As I nearly tickle her left side)

Whispering to her as I say,
"Baby, wake up, I just had the worst dream of my life!
Oh, baby, wake up, I just need to see those sweet little angel eyes!",

Though motionless–
There, as I try to keep my insane and crazy side inside,
My whisper begins to intensify to a scream
(As she refuses to open her eyes or give me a reply)

I continued to scream–SCREAMED!

"Oh, why, oh, why won't you open your eyes!",

And with her snore being the only reply that she could give me,
It literally drove me crazy inside–
Thus driving me as it drove me to climb on top of her body,
(Where I grab her nose and squeeze)

As it's within the silence and in this exact instant,
Instantly and unbelievably, I see I've hit a stride that I couldn't believe,

Yes, mesmerized!
And content beyond belief–
With her snoring, here, that has finally ceased–

–Casually, I proceed to climb off of her body
(Wherein realization I finally can go back to sleep)

And in the silence, again, as I hear not a peep,
I roll over, close my eyes, and before I could even count one jumping sheep,
I hear a roar once more coming from this treacherous little beast,

And surely with not a second more could I go without sleep,
(As this pillow, right here, has just become my best friend, and the most plausible way to get any sleep)
I decide to move this pillow over her face–with my exertion at first lacking any tenacity,

But what I'd end up hearing would be like a growl or a roar of a wicked beast,

With this sinister snore of hers only increasing more and more with every tic of my heart's beat,
I begin to feel my thoughts shift toward the sentiment of either insane or crazy,

(As my hands push with more and more of an intensity)
I begin sweating–feeling the smothering warmth of her body's heat,

Though, simultaneously as I hear her heart throb and knock an unstoppable and irregular beat,
I begin putting even more weight upon this pillowcase
(With a galore of my sweat dripping upon these sheets)

And surely I have to know,
(For it should be as obvious as could be)
That if I put any more weight upon this pillowcase,
I'd likely break through the toughest of the most unbreakable concretes,

And thus coming to the realization–
With this crazy side of me that has taken over and been unleashed surely not being me,

It's here, against the greatest of restraints
(As I'm barely able to climb off of her body)
I climb off and begin waiting within the silence–

Waiting and hearing not a peep,
Where seemingly prompting myself to say,
Here, as I speak!
"Good night baby–sweet dreams",

Though, I'd hear not a reply–
As a reply was something our love never did need,

Yet, as I roll over to climb under these sheets and close my eyes
(Where simultaneously it all has seemed)
I have fallen fast asleep within a dream while holding my sleeping beauty tight–

Holding her as I squeeze–
Holding her!–
With her heart that holds not a beat–.
RJ Days Jun 2016
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Today our thoughts and prayers are not enough.
Lawrence Hall Feb 2018
Our thoughts and prayers are with you our thoughts and
Prayers are with you our thoughts and prayers are with
You our thoughts and prayers are with you our thoughts
and prayers are with you our thoughts and prayers are

With you our thoughts and prayers are with you our
Thoughts and prayers are with you our thoughts and prayers
Are with you our thoughts and prayers are with you
Our thoughts and prayers are with you our thoughts and

Prayers are with you our thoughts and prayers are with…
What thoughts? And what does any of that mean?
I wrote this on the 10th of February; today seems an appropriate time for posting it.

To pray for someone is always good, but the old cliche' of "our thoughts and prayers are with you" has become a clutter of  filler, words stripped of meaning.
chris Jan 2016
my t
my th
my tho
my thou
my thoug
my though
my thought
my thoughts
my thoughts a
my thoughts ar
my thoughts are
my thoughts are d
my thoughts are dr
my thoughts are dro
my thoughts are drow
my thoughts are drown
my thoughts are drowni
my thoughts are drownin
my thoughts are drowning
my thoughts are drowning m
my thoughts are drowning me
Pyrrha Jul 2018
The one thing that I can never have
Is the only thing I seem to want
Never can I eradicate it from my mind
The thought that will punish me

Do I try too hard to make them smile?
Do I try too hard to seem like I belong?
Is that all there is,
Am I too far gone?

The thought that punishes me
Is that I will never be good enough
I can’t change the judgmental ways of the world

The thought that punishes me
Is that I will never be what you need
I can’t change all of the imperfections in my life

Despite everything I am the owner of my mind
I control these thoughts of mine
I have such power over myself

I let that power slip through my fingers
I let it become tainted
Consumed by my self loathing
My thoughts are furious and vast

Yet no matter what my desires may be they disobey
Tenebrous corners of which I cannot escape surround me
Suffocate me
As I am caged in the cursed darkness of my brain

I reach out as far as I can manage
I reach out knowing that no one will see me drowning here
In the ocean of my mind
No one will grab onto me and save me
From these thoughts of mine which punish me

Im spinning out of control
Twirling and leaping further and further away
From everything that seems to say
“Let me save you”

I run as far as I can whilst screaming
“Please someone save me”
But such a selfish thought will only lead me further astray
These are the thoughts that punish me

A feeling
A sinking feeling
Hits me out of nowhere
Its painful, I can’t deny
Why do my thoughts invade
Corner me in my own mind?

I can’t escape this pain
Where can I run when the perpetrator
Is my own conscience?
Where can I hide when i’m my own worst enemy?
How can I find a moment alone from my fear
When I am constantly there to remind myself
How terrified I am?

This fear is a prison in my mind
The insecurities toss me into a cell
They call it a moment of self doubt
A wave of depression
I am trapped here
They tell me that it’s my own fault
My own doing, a hazard to myself
I cry out over and over again
This is not me

Yet they don’t hear me from within
The confounds of my cell
Within the prison of my mind

Like sudden rainfall on a sunny day
The happiness fades away
Like water inside a drain

These thoughts are torture
These thoughts are pain
These thoughts punish me
Day after day
These thoughts destroy me
These thoughts control me
These are the thoughts that punish me
This is actually a combination of two poems I wrote earlier this year.
Rinav May 2018
In a world of green,
Of white, of blue, of dream
There lies a young white girl
With young white thoughts

Realization of her world
Such simplistic pleasures
With yellow thoughts,
and simplistic measures

A little too innocent
A little too pale
Well delicate in thoughts
Silk woven like a delicate sail

Her thoughts swayed
Her thoughts swollen
Some selfish,
Some lovely,and some sullen

In a world
Of colorless visions
Her bright mind
And dreams, lie pretty

Abused in simplicity,
Artless and mawkish
The world sways her thoughts
In manners mistaught

In a world of green,
Of white, of blue, of dream
There lies a young artless girl
With young artless thoughts

The world dims her thoughts
Her pretty yellow,
Young and mellow
Compassion filled thoughts

Her bright red heart is stolen by one,
And then another,
and another,
Yet her thoughts remain to speak of yellow

Thoughts of blue,
of green, start to fill
A void in her life unfulfilled
Yet her pretty yellow thoughts persist

Pleasant in her mannerisms,
Simplistic in her artlessness,
A world of green, of blue,
of darkness, fills her innocence

Smile she tries,
Cry she pries
Her pretty yellow,
Yellow artlessness, fades

Hurt, she wallows
Beneath the swallows
Soon the darkness rises around
And her thoughts grow dimmer

Within hours, in sight is a farmer
Whose words reflect the waters of the world
In finality he speaks, with no sorrow
"The pretty yellow lights seem have no morrow!"

In a world of green,
Of white, of blue, of dream
There lies a young headless girl
With young headless thoughts
Elizah Jane't May 2017
Now its 2 a.m. And you're surrounded by
silence., Absolute nothingness

It's great, being up late at night Or the wee
hours of the morning, however you choose to
look at it

Because it's just you and you're thoughts.,


Not the thoughts, those intensely destructive thoughts...
that you have in the middle of the
day while keeping that stain of a smile on
your face

Not those thoughts, no, not those pathetically
lonely thoughts you have in a crowd full of
people that you somehow seemed to keep

That's you now., But then it was


The thoughts, those wonder filled and
hopeful thoughts that danced around your
mind, like a circus almost, while you sang
around your room.,

Those magical, shimmery thoughts that
would get you distracted in class while you
should have been learning about pre-algebra,
or the founding fathers, or whatever those
imagination-killing teachers believed was
most important in time.,

Those dreams, those terrifyingly
devastatingly real dreams that you knew deep
down would always come true.,

But that was then.

Suddenly the dusk turns to dawn, and
everyone's waking up, and you and you're
thoughts...They aren't alone anymore

And that was then. But now is now, and
it's time to get back to Those thoughts. Those
roller coaster, tidal wave thoughts that you
lock behind that stain of a smile.,

Because this is now.
erin baker Feb 2016
I'm having those three am thoughts at midnight. It's like someone is reaching in through my ear and grabbing my brain, pushing and compressing it against my eye sockets so that my eyes blur. I'm having those three am thoughts at one am where the devil reaching up from under my bed and he is grabbing my wrist shaking my body over and over. He is pulling my hair and pinching my sides and making every sinful flaw I have stick out in my mind. I'm having those three am thoughts at two am, the time when I plug in my lights because suddenly I'm afraid of the dark. When all my darkest thoughts come to life, dancing on the walls in shadows of pain and misery. I'm having those three am thoughts at three am. I'm having those thoughts that make me do things I don't want. It's that time when all of the three am thoughts compile together to make the biggest three am thought there is. I'm having a four am thought at four am, and I'm regretting every three am thought that I had that night. Because if I knew what my four am thought would've said to me then all those three am thoughts wouldn't have happened; and maybe I wouldn't have destroyed half of portfolio because I couldn't see where I was going, or because the devil on my shoulder said the angel took a break, or because I needed scrap for my fire because my lights were broken. I would have my four am thoughts at every hour if I could, but because of my three am thoughts I feel as if they're the only thoughts I'll ever have.

Oddly enough I think I might be okay with that.
Harshita Yadav Feb 2015
Thoughts that linger  past my mind,
Remind me of people ,from these surroundings divine.
Thoughts of joy,thoughts of sorrow,
Thoughts from the wise past and those of hopeful tomorrow.
Thoughts that break,thoughts that bind,
Thoughts of a lover left undefined.

Thoughts that linger past my mind ,
Remind me of my existence.
Of  my breakthrough in this worldly  place,
Of the  first magical word spoken by me,
That was called,'mother',
Words of broken -unbroken  promises,
And of faithful  friendships and hubris.
Of those nights that raged like a stormy sea,
And those days spent  pondering over the window  panes.

Thoughts that linger past my mind,
Remind me that this world is a mystic place.
Of how these thoughts influence every being,
At once they afflict,at once they allay.
Johnnie Woods Aug 2018
There are five widely known senses.
Sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.
We've got some minor ones as well, such as balance, temperature and many more.
However, people fail to realise that there's also the sixth major sense. Thoughts themselves.

   If we look closely, all these five senses have the same base. Specified cells in eye react to energy of light, cells of ear recieve energy in form of air's vibrations, skin cells pick up energy of mechanical changes, and so tasting and hearing depend on translation of certain substances' chemical energy.
   These cells in different organs differ in their structure and the way they appear, however, if we stop looking at them in such small scale, we can see that ALL of the cells or organs responsible for any sense translate the energy.
   So, a light enters the eye, certain wavelenght of certain energy stimulates the eye's rod or cone cells with a certain intensity. Then the energy of light is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of sight.
   If it comes to smell, a certain particle enters the nose, binds to a smell receptor cell, and the chemical energy of this particle is, again, translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of smell.

   Now, let's move to the crucial part. The sense of thoughts.
   During the creation of thought, pathways in our brain that collect memories(and many more known or unknown pathways) connect. First, there's this spark of electricity, that moves all along the neuron and releases a dose of neurotransmitters(amount of different NTs is equiavlent to strength of this spark, basically resulting in "creating" various thoughts).
Then, chemical energy of NEUROTRANSMITTER is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which happens in the brain, creating the sensation of thought.
   Therefore the 'sense of thoughts' reacts to and is stimulated by neurotransmitters themselves, with receptors on neurons' membrane being receptors of the stimulus. So, kind of like smell, the stimulus is chemical, compared to sight, where it's electromagnetic wave; anyways the result in all of these is electric impulse in neurons (hence the idea of "thoughts" as a sense, due to the same basic layout; transfer of energy).
   The 'smell particle' connects to receptor and is translated to a certain amount of neurotransmitters/certain strenght of neuronal impulse. SO, again, we can see that when the first outer layer of this communication is cut off, we're left only with the neurotransmitters and impulses themselves. Anyway, the transduction of energy remains.

   If it comes to "sense of thoughts" the receptor lies within us, whereas in sight or smell or touch it's external. However, does it matter if it's on the surface of skin or under it if it all comes down to neurons of our brain?
   When you lie in a dark, silent room, without any external stimuli, you still retain your thoughts, colorful, vivid or complex. All the magic of the brain - still happens. So, how isn't it a separate, full-fledged sense?
My Thoughts are so heavy-
too heavy for real sleep to take me-
thoughts boggled-
trapped without rest.
I try to sleep,
but can't seem to achieve it.
I lay awake-
I think I fall asleep,
distracted by the radio,
but then that hour is up
and my thoughts over take me.
And yet, once again;
or still yet, I lay there-
thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears-
all dancing, with angels
in my head.
always there; constant thoughts.
need time to shut down-
always feelings trapped
by lack of sleep-
Wanting to be alive again.
needing to feel a part
of something whole.
too many thoughts-
not enough sleep.
missing a piece-
can't find it?
am I whole?
or torn apart?
is it in my dreams?
or do I have to yet find you?
are you lost in my thoughts?
trapped by dreams?
longing to be set free?
feeling empty inside-
thoughts over take my sanity-
always feeling lost-
where do I truely belong?
do I have a 'belonging place'
for me?
show me, in my dreams-
the key is misplaced?
or in someones' dreams?
hey come to me, in my dreams-
I will hold you; if only for a while-
but only til I awaken
by thoughts-
too many thoughts;
where is my place?


COPYRIGHT; Sabrina Denise Healey,
Mike lowe Jan 2015
I have to get these thoughts out, put them on paper I cant save it for later!  Just the thought of being alone is something felt so strong! These thoughts, these thoughts, these thoughts, this thought.. Its battle in my mind that cant be fought. **** I just wanna scream it out!! Everyone is always in a whisper why dont we all just shout..?? Just listen to my thoughts for one minute, you couldn't understand because everything you know would be diminished, at the simple thought that my mind is something unfinished ughhh why dont u listen.. Its something your missin... Call me crazy but its only because your thoughts are hazy. I call you insane because you cant understand whats in my brain so really that would make me sane! I can spill out my thoughts like wrist bleeding from a rusty knife but you can never understand this life.. Become one with me and u'll see its right but at the end of the night, there never is any light. I hear them screaming but its whispers, screaming whispers... See things like that leave blisters! I can tell you secrets that would give you shivers, drinking away the thoughts and killing our livers. These thoughts sometimes they drive me crazy or am I going sane..... Go outside and listen to the rain, believe what u want but those drops penetrate and leave stains. Even when I try to let go, the only one there for me is my echo... Somewhere in a dark cave with just a candle lit, I talk to myself about all this ****! so while I sit there and I sit, a cool breeze blows by and that candle is no longer lit. That breeze, was the echo of my thoughts on this ****.
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2016
Today I had an MRI
Worst thirty minutes of my life
However, my thoughts strayed
From corner to corner of my agile mind
From the beautiful woman in the foyer who spoke about her life
To life and it's wonders...  
And the statistics of deaths
During an MRI
Irrational thoughts indeed...
But thoughts that are frightening
In that moment of need.
Funny what you think of...
When you don't know what's going on
When you're trapped by a machine
When you're trapped by life...
I wondered...
Will they remember me?
I remember the woman's fascination
With my long, golden locks
That touched my hips softly

Ha, at least they'll remember my hair.
That's something, isn't it?
Being known as the young girl with long, luscious golden locks...
If they don't see my writing.
It's something.

Before the MRI,
They said 'Think of happy things'
And then my thoughts wandered
To you...
Your beautiful smile
The way my heart flutters when you look at me
When you taught me how to dance
And we flowed on the dance floor
When I held your hand
And my heart skipped a beat
When you glanced at me
With such sincerity
And your name repeating in my head...
You, you, you...

My thoughts during an MRI
Are odd
Thoughts of life, thoughts of death, thoughts of remembrance,
Thoughts of long, golden hair
And thoughts of
Tony Scallo Nov 2014
Growing up at a young age with ADHD can be a lot of fun. Everything just becomes that much more interesting. The sky seems so vast and every single blade of grass looks just as interesting as the one right next to it. My mind raced with questions every single second. I felt the only way to express it at times was relentlessly running around, as if every step I took gave me a satisfactory answer to each question I thought about; which was ultimately a lot of steps. It would be enough to drive most people into a state of madness. Not me though, I swore to the heavens I’d have every question answered. Because believe me, the seconds would feel like hours for every moment I didn’t know just how much wood a woodchuck could chuck.

Here’s my perspective; Thoughts in general are like the light from the stars that always shine the same brightness throughout the day. They are always there. Existing, even when you can’t see them. At least that’s how it is for normal people, you get the grace of day to nullify the shining of the light from those stars at times when it can be overbearing. You get a break. If I could describe what it’s like to have ADHD, picture your mind never turning off. It is always bright for me, and there is no dawn or day to alleviate my eyes from the galaxy of lights I see. It’s a beautiful disaster. You’re always thinking out loud to yourself about everything around you. When thinking about the concept of having a conscious and subconscious, you don’t even believe in the separation of the two. You think so much because of the energy flowing through your nerves, that there could be no way another part of your brain retains knowledge you don’t already consciously know. There’s so many questions every single second, that there needs to be some sort of way to express it. Mine would come through continuos questions and obviously, a lot of running around.

I guess I didn’t understand much about people back then, though. I was too busy exploring my mind and all the ideas that sprouted within it every second. I never thought it could be a bad thing. My father seemed to think differently at times.

The worst part about having an overactive thought process, is not being able to express it. Those thoughts have to go somewhere; and if they don’t, they build up  in a *** on a back burner until the lid finally blows off and explodes as some type of extreme emotion, from anger to sadness.  

As a kid, I have too many memories of confrontations with my father when I said something he didn’t agree with. Almost as if he thought I was overstepping my bounds as a male in his house by only talking about what was on my mind. If he didn’t like what I said, or if he didn’t agree with it, “I was an idiot.” It didn’t stop there either.

Conversations about things I’ve learned had to be defended with the words, “But dad, my teacher just taught us this today in class!”

“Well then, your teachers an idiot.” he would respond. It seemed like he knew the answer to everything. Even after I went to school and got an education that his tax dollars were paying for, it wasn’t enough to get him to agree quickly with things I said. It seemed everybody was an idiot, and as a kid, I almost thought it was normal to be one at a point. Everybody seemed to be doing it.

But even the innocence of a kid knows when something feels wrong. It didn’t take much of looking at his gritting teeth and clenched jaw to know either. I would watch the muscles in his cheeks and forehead pulsate with blood every time he squeezed his fist in stubbornness; as if his fists were his heart in that moment

I guess what hurt the most about the confrontations, was the awareness that he was not always this kind of man. I’ve seen him in different lights before. Brighter lights, where his happiness rained in a room and brought joy to everyone. Times where you’d never think the same man was consumed by a darkness that made him blind to reason. The pain came with knowing I was fighting to express myself to the same man that would make me laugh till my ribs felt weak. The person who I loved seeing happy, that much more because I saw how the shadows of the clouds he carried with him, darkened his spirit.

His alcoholism and addictions didn’t help aid his perspectives for the better either. Bottle after bottle I would watch get consumed, all the while his fuse grew shorter in those moments as his BAC grew higher. Cigarettes on the daily, pills and ***. Anything to escape the pain he harbored like a shipyard.

I started keeping my thoughts to myself more. At that age, I was innocent enough to believe I was wrong for having an opinion, or speaking my mind. I thought it was wrong to think the way I thought, so I maliciously put those thoughts on a back burner; And that’s when it started.

The silence, or I guess people would say, “the introvert,” found its way into my life. It’s such a tragedy of irony. The person who always thought a mile a minute, and still does, now barely says a word. Keeping himself locked away in his brain because there’s no key that could unlock him from the darkness of judgement. I was told I was an idiot and that I was wrong so many times that I never wanted to be those things again. If I never spoke, I never had to worry about hearing it.

For years I stayed quiet about the things that went on inside my brain, and it literally killed me. I felt like I was being robbed of my imagination, or rather I was robbing other people in this world of my imagination. Simple and plain, my thoughts weren’t being put out there. They continued to boil on my back burner, occasionally exploding every now and then into anger and depression. All of those amazing thoughts I used to have, now felt like fire burning through my veins for every pulse that kept them there to never be released.

I resented my dad, and won’t forget the day I told myself I wouldn't become him. I never would of imagined that that would be the day I put an invisible blind-fold on. Because I had swore to myself I would never act like my dad, my foggy eyes would never catch the times that I did. There was just no way I would or could be like him because he character caused me too much pain.

Conversations with other people started becoming more debate-like, I was always quick to defend my point because I didn’t want to be wrong. I talked more than I listened. If you didn’t know what I was saying, you just didn’t understand where I was coming from. I kept and thought to myself all the time. So much, that when I finally did release what was on my mind, it had to be right because I spent enough time to myself analyzing it. Other people just couldn’t understand that. They couldn’t.

Remember that boiling *** on the back burner; that occasionally explodes? Well, now it was now on the verge of imploding. I was so fixated on never being wrong, it was almost like I was never wrong. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Yeah it did to me too. When I noticed it, that’s when I imploded.

I couldn't believe I became exactly what I told myself I would never become. All of those past thoughts and hatred imploded in my brain and trickled down the inside of my body, burning me. I burned, but not with anger, I burned with depression and more silence. It was a vicious cycle. Speaking, especially to other people, almost became taboo to me. It seemed weird and out of place because it involved more emotions. I was kind of tired of feeling at that point. I had already felt enough through all of the episodes I would have from my explosions. Not to mention, I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was my dad spitting image when I talked to other people. Depression can really be a vicious cycle, and I remember how much it would recycle itself in my life.

I would spend hours in school, with a million thoughts to say, but never spoke out. I hated myself for it, which would get me depressed. Which would then get me depressed for knowing I was depressed; making me depressed because I was depressed I was depressed. There seemed to be no escape.

I started abusing substance, from alcohol to ****. My abuse, came from the justification that I told myself I was doing it to understand perspective. I wanted to explore the same world of addiction that my dad did. I wanted to come to understand what it’s like to live in a world of dependency and escape. Boy did that backfire on me. I went into it thinking I could just jump right back out of it; that’s not what happened. I was quickly consumed with darkness, escape and depression. Anxiety got the best of me now, because I felt trapped in this world of rumination and hopelessness.

What was depression for me? Its was being stuck in a dark room, separated from the light of happiness by a cruel lock door. A locked door that had a small viewing glass for you to see what lies on the other side of it, within your reach. It was having what seemed like an entire ring of keys to open the door with, yet they’re all the same key. Depression was refusing to stand up, to take advantage of the little bit of light that shined through the viewing glass for me. The little bit of light that would of shown me I was recycling the same key, over and over again. All because I tried to use the dark to see.

I felt that my voice was unheard and I finally got to the point where I didn’t want to live anymore. I used to wish and pray that I’d contract a horrible disease or illness cause I thought it’d be the only way for people to truly hear the words I had to say. It’s a shame that I would even think this. But what even more shameful than that, is how much more words really are cherished after someone has died, or is dying. I had a one track mind for sacrifice, and was hell bent making it happen. I smoked **** by myself; occasionally drank in my lonesome; compulsively ate more than I should; anchored myself to be a sloth in my bed, slaved away to TV and constantly stressed myself over the little things I did. Anything that would speed up the process of my downfall, I did.

I still felt empty though, my collapse wasn’t happening as instantaneous as I hoped, which gave my relentless mind more time to think about it. I did want to live, I didn’t want to have to be this sacrifice to get my point across. “It’s such a cop out," my mind would occasionally blurt out to get my attention. “So what if I’m like my dad? Shouldn’t that be more of a reason to be able to empathize with him when he gets the way he does?"

It wasn’t until the day I got the brilliant idea that maybe I should speak what’s on my mind, that I saw how powerful I could feel. I’ll tell you something though, fighting through the agita you get in the back of your throat is hard. It literally stops you from talking. You know what you want to say, and exactly how you want to express it, but you overthink it and think you’re going to mess up expressing something you know is simple. That agita is the fear in the back of your throat that reminds you of why you feel that way. I didn’t want to result to the back burner again though, so I fought through the pain no matter how bad my chest hurt.

Eventually, I stopped resenting my father. I took it upon myself to sit down and throughly write him a letter, expressing the way I felt about our relationship. About how all I wanted was to see him happy, I was very blunt about how I felt. This is a part of that letter:

"When I think about how long it took me to write this, it’s pretty sad really. And it’s not even because my writing skills we’re slacking, the sad part is what I thought I had to do in order to write this to you. Every day that I would try and write this, I would put alcohol and drugs into my body because I thought it would aid me in my creative writing. But instead, pretty much the opposite happened. I sat staring at a computer screen ruminating about my own troubling thoughts and personal anger. So I sat even longer staring at that screen thinking I needed more substance in my body to awaken the thoughts that I so longed to express. I used and abused until I just got too tired of trying to write and passed out. My point is, I made excuses to take in substances for my own personal benefit because the whole time I was really trying to run away from the problem instead of facing it. When I really sit back and analyze myself as well as you, I see a huge correlation between us. And to be honest, I think it’s a big contributing factor to my depression. Not because me and you are similar, but because we’re similar and you think you’re so different. Do you want in on something I’ve never directly told you? Growing up, I’ve always had persistent urge to make you a happier person. Ever since I noticed how depressed and upset you were, I told myself I would stop at nothing until you saw the good that life has to offer. I didn’t realize how high I set my expectations until they were ripped out from under my feet. My interventions got me nowhere but further into a rut with you, not to mention they were labeled as girlish emotions to have. It’s funny how fast you can go from being helpful to being angry, which is exactly what happened to me. I became so obsessed with trying to make you a happier person that I started becoming angrier that nothing was working. My anger turned into depression and I started smoking **** significantly more to run away from the fact that it seemed like there was nothing I could do to help you out. I started seeing all the negative aspects of life and didn’t want to go out and have fun anymore, so I started compulsively eating and religiously watching TV. Not to mention, I would spend an abnormal amount of time on my computer. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago, and since the last time I went there which was less than a year ago, I put on 20 pounds. I feel like ****, but I lie to everyone because I don’t want them to see how much I’m suffering on the inside. You know, there was a point a few months ago where I didn’t care if I died or got extremely sick, I actually hoped for it. I looked at my life as a sacrifice for the well being of other people, as well as for my own benefit. If I had gotten really sick or diagnosed with a horrible disease, I knew people would pay more attention to me. I knew that people would listen to my opinion more because it was more “influential” on them because of the fact I was probably going to die. I kind of counted on pity to be an influencing factor on me being influential to others, which is kind of like giving up. It’s kind of strange that you hear that coming from me, huh?"

I took the burden of my father off my shoulders, and I must say we get along a lot better today. He never thought I'd be able to relate to him in the ways that I did in the letter I wrote, and he broke down in tears to me. I never chose to give up on the thoughts that went on in my mind. I still struggle with expressing how I feel at times, but it’s not stopping me from trying to fight past it. I know I can relate to him if I allow him into my life instead of shutting him out indefinitely.

I have this belief that traumatic experiences can be the gateway to self-change. Trauma happens to us all, and it can be the very foundation of a person’s character. It can be what shapes your fears, develops strengths or weaknesses to certain situations and can overall can be a burden-like thought that you carry with for the rest of your life. Trauma’s have their ranges of impact and can even go as far as sending a person over the edge to end their own life. One that has stuck with me my whole life, which most people wouldn’t guess to be, was disguised in silence. People that go through traumatic experiences don’t always have crazy superficial cuts and bruises, a lot of the scars of their traumas remain on the inside, hidden away from plain view.
This was an assignment I had to write for my creative writing class, let me know what you think!
JJ Hutton Aug 2010
I am a miserable ****.

Traffic jam thoughts.
Aimless speech.
Fever dreams,
coffee with no cream,
love with no pulse,
alone at restaurants,
            at grocery stores,
            at parties.

I have no identity.

Shifting shape, black to blue,
trading girls, red hair for Persian skin,
parents and gods,
politicians and lost purpose mobs,
all asking me to be sacred,
                            to be loving,
                            to be trusting,
                            to be active,
                            to have no spine.

All I want is a bit of my own time.

A grenade of change,
to end the coagulation of my brain,
to leave me hungry for anything
other than me,
didn't somebody say I was promised something?
                                            I was going somewhere?
                                            I was unique?

I am the same miserable ****,

As every other miserable ****.

The ******* that cut you off on Highway 62,

The person that complained about too many pickles,
on his precious fast food,

The boy yelling at his baby sister for getting too much attention,

The girl sexting your boyfriend,

The boy sexing your girlfriend,

The generation divorcing everyone it knows so it can fall in love with


All different,
in exactly the same way.

Traffic jam thoughts. Traffic jam thoughts.
                   Traffic jam thoughts. Traffic jam thoughts.
            trafficjamthoughts. traffic. Traffic Jam Thoughts. Thoughts.
Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Jam.
thoughts. traffic. trafficjam. trafficjam. traffic jam thoughts.traffic.
traffic jam. traffic, traffic, traffic. I am a miserable ****. Traffic jam.
Copyright 2010 by Joshua J. Hutton
brandon nagley Jun 2015
It's mind control, mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Mind control, it's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Don't let them mold your mind
They wanna control mankind
Seems like their only intention
Is to exploit the earth, yeah

And you trust in their deceit
Your mind causes your defeat
And so you become an invention
To distort this earth

Propaganda and lies
Is a plague in our lives
How much more victimized
Before we realize? Hey

It's mind control, mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Mind control, it's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Ooh, Grandmaster
Let the people go
You put them in total confusion
To downs-troy their soul

For they practice what You preach
So they're always in Your reach
Hi-tech slavery in these days
It's mind control

They'll make it attractive to get man distracted
Corrupting your soul, polluting your soul
Destroying your soul, mind control

Mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Mind control, it's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and get it together, brother man
What, what you say?

It's mind control, mind control
Corruption of your thoughts
Yeah, yeah, destruction of your soul

Mind control, it's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

(The truth is there for us to see)
It's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul

(The truth is there for us to see)
It's mind control
Corruption of your thoughts, yeah
Destruction of your soul
(The truth is there for us to see, the truth is there for us to see)
Unknwn Jan 2015
When death knocks on my door.

Will a single tear materialize in the air?
or A laughter will be heard instead?

Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!

Never ending cycle of asking same questions over and over again.
Reason why I'd end up cryin'

Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!

Leave me alone!
please, please, please. . .

Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!

I beg of you
Leave me alone!**

When death knocks on my door.

                                                          ­                       *I alone will remember
                                                        ­                       as I die I'll cherish you all.
Sakhi Dec 2017
What is my skin for?
To cover up my thoughts so sore?
Thoughts that fuel me like gasoline,
As a candy does to a kid on Halloween

My thoughts are far beyond this world,
But suppressed by the hearts so cold,
People say dream big and shoot for stars!!
But for 18 years they tell us what to say bout isobars

Thoughts are never given freedom to be expressed,
All this world wants is people who can impress,
My thoughts if revealed would drown you all,
And hitting the ground you all will fall.

Why do my thoughts only haunt me at night?
Why do they always wanna stay out of sight?
Maybe because that's what we are being taught,
Bitter thoughts should never be caught.

Let me just scream my thoughts,
A day like this is all i sought,
So don't expect people to stay quiet all the time,
Because with that we are just not fine.

Let my thoughts burn your soul,
Leave a scar, one so gold,
Let me leave a mark on the world,
In this world, let me make a swirl!!
Anna Oct 2014
I know I'm not as quiet as I could be when I should be.
But thoughts are just perpetual graves dug over and over.
That seems a bit redundant,
but so is this thought.

— The End —