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pain is the physical suffering or distress as due to injury or illness.
according to that definition
i feel pain in my back, neck, shoulders
knees, ankles, and muscles.
but pain is also defined as mental or emotional suffering or torment.
by that definition, i know the meaning
of pain.
and i know it quite well.
i've known that definition since i was a toddler
when my mom wouldn't give me food
when she would touch me places she shouldn't have
when she picked the least unisex name possible
when she forced me to shave
because "men like it when your kitty is clean and soft."
i knew pain when my dad trained me to get him a beer
by giving me a simple look
or singing a stupid song
about his ******* addiction.
i knew pain when my mom out needles in my arms
and filled my five-year-old body
with her ******, ***** needled ******.
i knew that definition
when my dad had his first heart attack.
i knew that definition
when i couldn't breathe
because they both smoked inside.
i knew true pain
when my mom held a gun against my head
and my dad started crying,
begging her to please let me go.
i knew pain
when my dad whispered in my ear
to go inside
and call the police.
i knew pain when i heard them yelling
in the pouring rain
screaming at each other.
i knew pain when my mom pleaded with my dad
to please, please let her die
and my dad cried back "what about our daughter?!"
i knew pain
when he called me his daughter
and not his son.
i knew pain
when the red and blue lights
spilled into my little room
and i could see them
even though i was hiding other the green, purple, and teal blankets
on my metal bunk bed.
i knew pain
when my mom went to the hospital
all the way in the middle of nowhere
almost two hours away from us.
i knew pain
when she got restrained
the second she saw my dad
because he didn't let her **** herself.
i knew pain
when she got out
and cussed my dad out.
i knew pain
when we jumped in the car
and begged her to please
please just get in the car
and she flipped me off.
i knew pain
when she sold me to my cousin
and i was let down
by three police officers
who i thought were there to rescue me.
i knew pain
when one of them ***** me with his loaded gun
and all three stood there naked.
i knew pain
when my cousin, despite being physically disabled,
make me crawl on top of him
and his junk
and the cops helped him **** me too
all while guns were pointed at my head
reminding me of that night.
i knew pain
when i felt my insides ripping apart
at the age of four
and i felt that same **** pain
almost every month
until i was ten.
i knew pain
when my mom kidnapped me
and held me at that very same cousin's house.
i knew pain
when i snuck a phone
and called my dad
sobbing.
i knew pain
when he called the cops
and the same three police officers showed up
because they knew it was the same house.
i knew pain when they did it
again and again
laughing at my broken sobs.
i knew pain
when my dad finally got cps to go to the house
and they finally let me leave
but i knew i was leaving my younger cousins behind with them.
i knew pain
when my dad jumped from girlfriend to girlfriend
and i was being dragged along.
i knew pain
when we moved from house to house
apartment to apartment
and watched the same fights
happen again and again.
i knew pain
when my dad finally settled down
with someone who could tell
that i had been abused.
i knew pain
when she screamed at my dad
and demanded i start therapy.
i knew pain
when i started acting out
because i ******* missed my mom
no matter how ******* up this all was.
i knew pain
when i moved schools
and was forced away
from all of my friends.
i knew pain
when only three people showed up for my birthday party
and my pool ripped open
sending us flying across the yard
ruining the whole party.
i knew pain
with my first relationship
and my second
and third.
i knew pain
when they all ended the same way
with the same **** word.
i knew pain
when i made and lost friends
and when i started drinking
and smoking
and pill-popping
to escape all of my hurt.
i knew pain
each and every time
i sliced open my skin.
i knew pain
each and every time
i tried killing myself
with a drunken sob.
i knew pain
when my father decided
he'd rather have his girlfriend
than me
and sent me away to a facility.
i knew pain
watching people fight
and seeing the blood all over the walls
that one day.
i knew pain
with each meal i skipped
because everyone kept reminding me
just how ******* fat and gross i am.
i knew pain
when i left
just to return
to the same *******.
i knew pain
when he sent me back again
and half of the staff left.
i knew pain
when my good-for-nothing father
decided he'd rather have a dead daughter
than a living son.
i knew pain
when he made me homeless
just for me to move in
with my old friend-turned-******
who was every bit
just as bad as my mother, father, cousin,
and those **** police officers that traded a little kid's innocence
for a ******* hit of ****.
i knew pain
when i finally cut off that friend
and moved in with someone new
because that friend first decided
to slam my head against walls,
threaten me with knives,
throw pool ***** at me,
and try to hang me from that one open rafter in the basement.
i know pain
because of all of them,
all of you.
but i also know love
because of my fiance.
i know love
because they got me out of these situations
and they cook with me
and we laugh and cry and ****.
i know love
because they're so patient with me
and they allow me time to heal.
i know love
because i happened upon it accidentally.
do you know the meaning of true pain?
it really does get better, i promise.
you'll have up days and down days
but it truly is a magical experience
when you find the one
who helps you love.
Ruben Hayward Jul 2015
Pain
  Pain
Pain
  Pain
Pain.
Pain,
Pain
Pain
(Pain)
  Pain--
Pain
        Pain

Pain
    Pain
Pain pain painpainpain
  Pain pain pain
Pain pain
   Pain.
Pain with pain
  Pine and pain
    And sick
Pain-Ill death-clock
Tick tick ticks
   Nothing to say
    Anymore
Pain pain. Pain
  Pain with feathers
      How pain and why pain
  And will be and never was pain
   Pain in your shoes,
In a shower
  On a floor
Pain
  In a garden
Pain
   With your tea
Pain in your eye
As you drive
   Along
We must be terrible
  We must be heinous
Viscous, meticulous,
   We are not.
But pain pain pain
   I.  Can not sleep
As they sanction drone
Strikes on children
   I. can not sleep
     As a
Ghostly ether summons
Across lakes in dream
   I. Can't think
      I. can feel like a Cyprus
Upon a grave
  Love love love
Love love love love
Love love love love
   Death exists
Life is in brief moments
    Where the dead
Drag in front of you
Bleeding, broken
Forever lost in this abyss
  Grafted from a tree
In another world
Oh, my love.
   Oh my love,
As I know it true
  In bent knees at dawn
Whispers evermore in my ear
   Beyond graves and atom bombs
     Test pilots
Test tubes
   Test
Pain in your chest
  In your mouth
Rotted flesh
Rotted fits of aging
  Agony which
Is pain, exquisite
Like a needle
Precise like
  A
Nuclear accident
  I. Can't sleep
As things fly above my head
   My eye
Leaving me in the dark
Leaving me in a tub
Leaving me in a gas task
    Mustard gas and Venus
Drowned in calm water
  Out, out, out,
Number 1.
  Nitrous oxide
Psalms, palms,
  Save little girls
  In dresses know
   As I walk by a snowglobe  
    Oh, my love
  How
I am sick of questions with an
Answer I know
But not quite
Not, quite
   And death will solve
All power
  Like forks
In an outlet
   u r a beautiful dawn
At sunset
  My eyes are tired
   It needs to heal
It needs to heal
   D. E. A. (D)  
In a straw or dollar
O.K.
oh, Kay
   Oh, Natalie
I dot the "I" in your
  Name in my brain
In my bones leaving me
Aloft in dream,
   I dream and weep
I dream and weep
  Pain
Pain
  Pai. N.
Kiev
Leaving
  Pain
Pain. Pain. no. 1
always one to garnish wounds with cyanide (and a hint of sage), the Poet insists here that love is the inverse of pain--the same side of the two coins. Or, as the French would say, in a rather English idiom: To get ****** with two birds.
Livingdeadgirl Apr 2015
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you'll understand

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know)
I know that you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain
what is my promised pain?
from conception
to my first deception
i wondered what my promised pain was

is it as sweet and seductive
as a lovers first touch?
or is it as ****** and dull
as entangled flesh in a bush full of thorny rose crowns?
will my pain be promised from myself,
or someone else who takes my ground?

will our promised pain tell us who we are?
"mirror mirror on the wall, show me, define me"
we all yelled until our breath gave out,
our voices piercing the infinite heaven,
wishing for the mirror on the wall to show us as
the perfect chain
but the only thing that shows us who we are,
is the reality of pain,
our promised pain?

how will i know when i feel my promised pain?
emotional, physical, will i even know it hit me?
will i be on the ground, bawling, unable to be in touch with what is pain?
will i bleed, contort, and bruise?
how do i know when the promised pain that was gifted from me from conception,
will turn it's age old gears unto me?

who promised us this pain?
this pain, whether we deserve or don't
this pain, without a messiah in cloth to save us from
this pain, this pain, this promised pain
this pain, we can't describe
this pain, we were all bound to from birth
this pain, that only your touch may heal
but then again, our promised pain
is god or the devil's deal.

this pain, this vowed pain,
the pain of a demon's pitchfork,
an angel's sword of justice,
this promised pain, this pain of no mercy,
does it last forever, or just a second?
does it return, or leave forever?
what is this promised pain,
we were gifted with from birth?

my memory of your promised pain,
a pain i could not feel,
a pain as slow as the minutes ticking away on the clock,
for i've been watching your for a while,
since you walked into my life,
a monday morning, able to heal a pain.

a monday morning, filled with pain,
a stab of happiness,
a cut of despair,
i was much too shy,
to let my feelings show,
but you let them free,
and that was the beginning of possible promised pain.

at last, we can talk,
maybe in another way,
and at last, i love you,
it became too hard to say,
due to our promised pain,
if only i could say the words i feel.

tell me if you've had promised pain,
tell me what your feelings are,
tell me if you love me not
i have so much, i need to ask you,
but now that chance has gone, flee in the run of a rabbit,
when you reach your fading *****,
in my heart,
those promised memories stay,
glowing pride, your only smiling
through that promised pain.
i havent written poetry in 50000000000 yrs sorry
Beck B Jan 2016
crawling pain
seeping pain
numbing pain
consuming pain
stabbing pain
constant pain
throbbing pain
flickering pain
scalding pain
terrifying pain
piercing pain
stinging pain
exhausting pain
tearing pain
nauseating pain
quivering pain
shaking pain
tingling pain
sickening pain
agonizing pain
cramping pain
pinching pain
gnawing pain
pulsing pain
drilling pain
gut-wrenching pain
splitting pain
crushing pain
searing pain
excruciating pain
suffocating pain

ive felt
all of it
but
none of it
prepared me
for the pain
of losing
you

-beckb 012616
LouLou Mar 4
crawling pain
seeping pain
numbing pain
consuming pain
stabbing pain
constant pain
throbbing pain
flickering pain
scalding pain
terrifying pain
piercing pain
stinging pain
exhausting pain
tearing pain
nauseating pain
quivering pain
shaking pain
tingling pain
sickening pain
agonizing pain
cramping pain
pinching pain
gnawing pain
pulsing pain
drilling pain
gut-wrenching pain
splitting pain
crushing pain
searing pain
excruciating pain
suffocating pain

ive felt
all of it
but
none of it
prepared me
for the pain
of losing
you.
emily c marshman Oct 2018
I’m not allergic to bee stings – I never have been, I probably never will be – but I am more afraid of bees than anything else. More afraid than heights, than fire, than opening up to others, than death by drowning. I have been stung more times than I will ever be able to count. My skin has since grown thicker, but I remember when it was soft, and I was small. I used up the entire allowance of pain I was given for life in less than four minutes.
Perhaps I should specify that it’s not bees that I am afraid of, but wasps.
When I was nine years old, much younger than I am now, I stepped on a yellow jacket nest. My bare foot went into the hole and came out covered in their little striped bodies. There was this buzzing noise that at the time I’d thought was normal, but I now know that it was the sound of the wasps that were in my ears. They had been trying to crawl down my ear canals. I wonder if they had mistaken my canals for their burrows, and had been trying to get back to their queen, but were disappointed to find my ear drums, instead.
My sister – the same age – covered in wasps alongside me, screamed and screamed, but I made no noise. By the time I even thought to cry, I had been stung so many times it would have been pointless to weep for my swollen, red toes. I remember being unable to feel the wasps’ venom running through my veins because I couldn’t even feel my veins. If I would have cried for anything, it would have been for fear that, being unable to feel them, I might have lost track of my tiny feet. They could have walked away without my body and I wouldn’t have known. They could have walked to school and back without me.
Of course, my feet could barely walk. After my initial disgust, I watched my sister run away from where we had been standing and I knew that I should run, too. I could still feel the wasps crawling, clamoring, on my skin, in my clothes, in my hair. I remember the feeling of these bees crawling around among the roots of my hair, making themselves well-acquainted with the tender skin of my scalp. I remember being unable to get them all out of my hair before I walked into the house.
I knew that I should run, and so, balanced precariously on my numbed feet, clambered after her.
I followed my screaming sister down to our farmhouse, past my stepmother who was also screaming, even louder than my sister. I don’t remember where my father was that day.
We ran down the dirt road that led from the barns to our house, removing our shirts as we went and stopping to strip down to our underwear on the front porch. I remember the honks from cars as they passed by. I remember not knowing why they were honking, but knowing that I was angry with them for honking, for ogling, rather than stopping to help. I remember not knowing how they would help, just knowing that I needed help, desperately.
The irony of our stings is that my sister, a year later, was cast in our school’s operetta, and ended up playing the part of a yellow jacket, a sort of elementary-school-gangster, part of a group of them, who wore – you guessed it – yellow jackets and stole other bugs’ lunch money. I would say that, if the wasps that attacked me had been human, they would definitely have been after the money I used to buy Little Debbie Oatmeal Crème Pies in the lunchroom.
If I had been stung even three years later, I would have been big enough to know that one doesn’t run around in untrimmed grass with no shoes on their feet for precisely this reason. If I had been stung three years earlier, I would have been too small, and dead. So I am grateful for even the smallest of coincidences, the tiny droplet of fate that had given me those stings on that day, at that age.


I would like to talk about pain transference. In your body, nerves often run between parts of yourself you never thought would be connected. If something hurts in your elbow, it wouldn’t shock you to find that your fingers hurt as well, but if your elbow hurt and so did your lower spine? You’d be a little confused.
This is pain transference.
It’s a form of generalized pain; you can locate the pain, it’s just not coming from any one place. You can feel the pain in more than one part of your body, though there’s no reason for anything other than your elbow to ache. This is also your body’s way of protecting you from pain. It’s not that this pain is more manageable, but that it is easier to understand. Your elbow might be more hurt than the ache lets on, but you can’t tell, because your lower back is throbbing.
Now imagine your body as a hive of wasps. Imagine each of these wasps as a nerve inside of said hive-body. Imagine the queen as this hive-body’s brain. What is your body’s goal? To protect the brain. What is a hive’s goal? To protect the queen. Each wasp is born with an instinctual dedication to the queen. They must protect this individual at all costs. Your body, on the other hand, does everything it possibly can to protect the part of you that makes you so unbearably you.
Yellow jackets are social creatures. Each wasp has its own purpose in the hive, and the three different ranks within this hierarchy are the queen, the drones, and the workers. The queen (who is the only member of the colony equipped by evolution to survive the winter; every other wasp is dispensable) lays eggs and fertilizes them using stored ***** from the spermatheca. Her only purpose is to reproduce. Occasionally the queen will leave an egg unfertilized, and this egg will develop into a male drone whose only purpose is also reproduction. The female workers are arguably the most important part of the hive. They build and defend the nest.
Only female yellow jackets are capable of stinging, and wasps will only sting if their colony is disturbed. This fact is new and interesting to me. I remember thinking that it would make so much sense if the only wasps in the colony who could sting were the females. Females have a motherly, nurturing nature about them, but they are protective and willing to make sacrifices as well. Lo and behold.
The females are the nerves. They transfer the pain from the queen to themselves (and then, if disturbed, to the third-party individual who has disturbed them).
Psychics view pain transference as the transferring of pain between bodies rather than the transferring of pain between separate parts of the same body, but it works in a very similar way. Different types of energy vibrate at different frequencies; loving energy vibrates at a higher frequency than dark energy, therefore they transfer between people at different rates. Pain is simply dark energy that holds a fatalistic power over us.
According to psychics, energy can be transferred through the mind, the body, and the spirit, but pain is mostly transferred through physical touch. To transfer pain to another human being, you must touch them in a way that is not beneficial to their own or your spiritual growth.


I would like to talk about smallness. I was nine when I was stung by these yellow jackets. I was nine and the first time I’d ever been stung was at a friend’s birthday party at maybe the age of seven, behind the knee, and it’d swelled up so large I couldn’t bend my knee for two days. I knew the dangers of disturbing wasp nests; I’d watched my friends all through elementary school getting stung on the wooden playground on the premises. I, myself, stuck to swing-sets and splinters.
I was always so careful. I never went near trees if I saw a nest in its branches. My teachers had told me that I should stay away from the part of our playground made up of tires, because the hornets liked to nest in the rubber. I was terrified of being stung again after that first time because all the mud in the world didn’t seem to make a difference. The wasp’s venom, even after drying up pile after pile of soft, wet dirt, made my limb stiff and sore. I was always so careful; it seems appropriate that the one time I’d been careless, I’d been stung enough times to make up for all the times I had avoided wasps as if my life had depended on it. Maybe it had.
I was small enough when I was nine. If I had been stung at six, or three, I would have been in a lot more trouble. I would have been in a lot more pain. At nine, my stings required calamine lotion and mud for the venom, and ice baths for the swelling. At six, they might have required a trip to the hospital. At three, they would have been much more alarming, considering I had never been stung by a bee by that age.
I was careless. It was summer and I was old enough to wear denim shorts and I had kicked off my flip flops so I could feel the grass under my feet and I was careless and I was punished for it. Now I watch my cousins and my niece play outside and I have to hold my tongue, remember that I am not responsible, that I cannot prevent their being stung, their stings, no matter how badly I want to.
I would like to talk about fate. I would like to talk about how, if I hadn’t been running barefoot, I wouldn’t have gotten stung so badly. I would like to talk about how if my father had been around to tell me not to run barefoot, at least my feet would have been safe. How, if I hadn’t been too stubborn to listen to my stepmom, too, I probably would have had shoes on. How, regardless of all of these things, I probably would have been stung no matter what.
In a world where people are stung by hornets every day – where people are stung by as many as I was, at once – I would like to say that I know now that this experience is not as unique as I had previously thought it to be. I know more people than I thought I did whose trauma involves insects smaller than their pinky finger but together cover their whole body, and venom. I know people who, when I tell them I was stung by hundreds of yellow jackets at the age of nine, shrug and say nonchalantly, “Hey, me too.”
I would like to talk about smallness, and fate. I would like to talk about not only physical smallness, but the smallness one feels when they are in pain.
Belittled might be the word I am looking for. My pain wasn’t belittled, per se, but my pain belittled me.
My pain made me feel small. My pain made me feel small when I was stripping my clothes off on my front porch, cars racing by on the state highway that ran past my house. When I was running my fingers through my hair under the faucet in my kitchen sink because my sister was older and always got first dibs on the shower. As these wasps that hadn’t suffocated under my hair stung my fingers, too, until they were as swollen as my toes. My pain made me feel small when it made me pity myself.


I would like to talk about standing up for yourself as an act of causing pain.
Honeybees, when they sting, are defending themselves and their queen, but they don’t know that when they sting, it will become lodged underneath the skin of whomever they sting and it will pull them apart and they will die.
I imagine the first time a wasp stings to be a sort of power trip. Female wasps can – and will – sting repeatedly to protect the colony. I also imagine they don’t know that their relative the honeybee dies after it stings, but it must be strange for them, nonetheless.
Have you ever seen a video of a woman protecting herself and those she loves? She’s vicious. She won’t stop until the perpetrator has retreated.
When a woman stands up for herself, though, it’s as if she’s tearing herself in half.
A woman standing up for herself is a dangerous thing, both dangerous for her and for those around her. It is an act of bravery and defiance and saving grace all in one.
A few weeks ago, I overheard someone equate being female with being terminally ill, as if we have no place to go but down. As if we are dying creatures, on our last leg of life, with no will to fight for what we want.
As if the pain of the world is being transferred into us all at once.
I would like to argue that it is the exact opposite. There is nothing more alive and breathing than femaleness.I am inseparable from my femaleness. I am inseparable from the that leaks from me when I think of all of the times I have been harmed But I am not inseparable from the pain that I have caused others. I cannot forget that.


I like to imagine sometimes what my stings would have been like if I had gotten them ten years later, as well. I am much bigger. I am much stronger. I am much more capable of handling pain than my nine-year-old counterpart.
I wish I could have been the one to have to handle that pain. I wish my nine-year-old self had known better than to let her foot fall into a yellow jacket nest. I think it’s unfair that, at such an early age, I had to deal with something so terrifying and painful and traumatic. My extremities were swollen for over a week. I couldn’t write, I could close the zipper on my backpack, I couldn’t turn the pages of a book. I couldn’t go to school, and I couldn’t read in bed, so it might be enough to say that the week I was kept out of school to elevate my legs and let the swelling go down was the most boring week of my entire life.
Sometimes I look at my ankles, swollen from blood flow, from standing too long or from sitting too long or from doing anything except elevating them, and I’m reminded of this time when my ankles were much thinner and I watched them on the end of the couch, my toes pointing toward the ceiling. I remember how terrified my mom was. I imagine that phone call must have been harrowing for her – Hi, Michelle, Em’s been hurt. No, she’s fine. Just a few bee stings is all. – and for her to see me for the first time, red and splotchy and itching myself like mad must have been even more so.
I think about my father’s reaction, how I hadn’t been around to see it, but how he must have been heartbroken at knowing he wasn’t there to protect me, to prevent the bees from attacking me. I believe, however, that there was no protecting me, that there was no preventing these wasps from defending their home against me, an infiltrator. I had stepped inside of their burrow and was instantly seen as a threat. Anything I see as a threat to myself, I instantly want to rid myself of.
This is the way of the world: we see something, we determine it to be good or bad, and we either bring it into our lives or defend ourselves from it depending upon which it turns out to be. I happened to be the ultimate evil in these wasps’ lives. They were simply protecting their queen, without whom their hive would no longer exist. I was dark energy, vibrating in a way that spoke to them as threatening. I was transferring pain to them when my foot stepped into the hole, and they were transferring it back to me when they stung me. I transferred energy into the ground as my feet thumped against it. Water transferred energy into me as it helped me rinse wasps out of my hair.
From pain to protection to pity, back to pain. From bee stings to womanhood to sadness and back again. One shouldn’t be afraid to introduce the things they’ve lost to the things they’ve loved, or the things they love to the things they’re afraid of. And I am afraid of wasps. Petrified, even. The other day, driving in my car, I rolled the window down and in, immediately, flew a yellow jacket. I watched as it she flew past me and then around the back of my head. I heard her and was immediately transported back in time. I wondered what she was doing in my car, so far from her queen. I wondered what was in my car that she possibly could have wanted. But I knew that she wasn’t there to hurt me, because I hadn’t invaded her home. I hadn’t made an attack on her queen. I knew there was no sense in panicking, so I didn’t. I didn’t panic.
I am afraid of things even though they won’t **** me, but I have watched myself face these fears. I have stumbled onto a Ferris wheel and then walked confidently off. I have left candles lit without standing to check on them after every episode of The Office I watch. I have loved people I never thought I would, and I have seen the other side.
“And such bees! Bilbo had never seen anything like them. If one was to sting me, He thought, I should swell up as big again as I am!”
      -The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
It never gets old,
Even when the injury is nothing odd,
We never get used to it,
Its even worse when you can't even move to your favourite beat,
All you can do is just lay down on a seat,
Brings about anguish,
One which you can't really distinguish
From the previous one,
Because the feeling never gets old to anyone,
Makes us mad, >:O
And our loved ones  sad :(
Pain,pain,pain,
Despite all this,physical pain
Is way less than emotional pain.
I'm not in pain now,but hey we've all been there..I guess living requires more than strength.
pain is my only gain,
pain is my friend,
pain so deep and cold,
i feel at home with the dark pain,

i love pain pain is my friend,
pain will bring back my love,
pain will give me life once again,
pain so deep and cold,
is the only way i can have,
my love and my friend,

pain is the worlds friend,
pain shows us if we do wrong,
pain shows us who we are,
pain is not only in the dark,
but in the light as well,

pain is so deep and cunning,
pain can show me who i am,
pain shows the world who we are,
pain is my only friend,


with out love theres pain,
with out anyone theres pain,
with out the sun with out the moon,
theres pain so as you can see,
pain is with us and always will be,
pain will never leave its a marriage,

its a soul and a part of you,
that will never leave,
pain is my friend and it is your too....
Title          : My Life With
                     Monster Pain
Poet          : Phyll
Genre       : Life/Pain/sorrow
Year          : 2018
P/SwNO. : 116

( Content; this piece is based on my own true story and applies to our day to day life experiences.Anyone who reads this might find it weird and some actions i did to be stupid but i had no choice.Life is full of pain and when we find ourselves in this situation tend to shy off from our on demons instead of facing them.Personally pain pushed me to the walls twice i attempted to commit suicide with no success but just added more pain on myself.That's when i realised that,no matter how difficult life is and how much pain you endure DON'T give in to those crazy ideas that run through your mind but instead get positive and helpful idea.)

MY LIFE WITH MONSTER PAIN-By Phyll

Life is full of unexpected things,
Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turn to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with a monster called Pain.

In my life I have lost big opportunities,not once nor twice but uncountable times.

I had even forgotten how to smile,
how to see a bit further, beyond this misery.

I had also forgotten how to be happy,
how to trust anyone, give them power over me.

I had even forgotten how to be me,
I buried everything deep inside, just to hide it from others.


You taught me how to smile again,
to laugh without reason, to cry from the joy.

Dear Pain,
Thank you for revealing my error again,
showing that path of tears lie in sorrow, not in joy.

Thank you for taking it all away,
making me to hide myself again, to trust no one.

Thank you for telling I am nothing,
pointing my place, to be an outcast in life by my own choice.

And now
I'm making love
Not with a fake human being
But with a brand new razor blade.

Love me,
my razor blade.

Peel my skin,
make me scream.

Sink so deep,
make me weep.

Cut my flesh,
make me bleed.

Take my life,
set me free.

Conversing to myself like a mad man,
Not even 'like' but i had gone insane.

With nice little twist,
I slit my wrist...

Not waiting for life to ****,
rather my own blood I spill.

It's my own choice, I have no fears,
only pain, in eyes some unshed tears.

On the floor, blood making stains,
slowly releasing me from my pains.

****** stains, stains like in my soul,
caused by all the pain, this life Is so full foul...

Vision finally fading away, soon it's all done,
staring darkness, oh so black, soon it's all gone.

Soon I'm released, free from this pain,
suffering and life, it was all just in vain.

Thought,how funny blood makes difference between life and death,
farewell life, so painful, so useless, gonna take my last breath;I told myself.

The pain i felt left many queries unanswered but rather more questions continued acquired.

Why should I listen to my heart,
When It brings nothing but pain.
Why should I fall apart,
When Everytime is the same.

Why should I follow a fake a dream
knowing it will bring nothing but more scream
Why should I ... ?
When I ...

Do you feel me ???

Why should I wait all day?
I feel but I cannot speak it out,
Why do I feel this week weak?

You Moster Do you really feel me?

Why should I go through this agony?
Why can't I just follow my destiny?
Why can't I just let of life?
Maybe because ...
Maybe ... Maybe.

Dear Pain,I do feel You,
But have you ever felt me?

No doubt that;

The pain is in me,
The pain will not leave me.
The pain is all i feel in me,
It's now apart of me.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

Only in darkness do i find peace,
Only in darkness can i escape.
Only if this darkness could stay,
But unluckily it wouldn't obey.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

But this only added more pain,
I guess they were right;
When they said 'No Pain No Gain'.
The pain i felt made me gain more scars,lesson and experiences never to be forgotten in my entire life.

No doubt that,
Life is full of unexpected things,

Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turns to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with monster Pain.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
COPYRIGHT BY PHYLL
*(C)2018.
Everyone has a story to share.this is my stooooory
KillerLaurel Oct 2011
Pain
Pain
Pain
There is nothing else
No time for anything else
Pain
Pain
Pain
Within my pounding chest
Pieces fall
Shatter
Pain
Pain
Pain
The shells
Fragments
Embedded
Pain
Pain
Pain
Fragile like glass
Embedded in my chest
Are fragments
Digging
Deeper
Pain
Pain
Pain
The rhythmic beat
That thumps out a song
A song
Of shattered
Life
Of shattered
Love
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
They beat as one
As a whole
Fragmented
Together
Beat
Thump
Pain
Thump
Pain
Thump
Pain
T­he broken
Heart
In scattered pieces
Beats
Together
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
I endure
The beating
Of
A broken heart
Thump
Pain
Endure
Thump
Thump
Pain
Pain
Endure, endure
As one
My chest
Houses only pieces
My chest
Endures
The beating
Of A broken
Heart
Bleeding
For the one
That broke
It
1.
I'm sorry for your Pain
Surely it has made your scared
And surely not all of it is fair
But know it's only in your mind
And it makes you one of our kind
I'm sorry for your Pain

I'm sorry for your Allergies
or any other problems
Disease is unjust as this life
And those that aren't undone
Can take life as quick as it comes
Or faster, it some cases
I only hope that my disease
That unto yours, erases
I'm sorry for your Allergies

I'm sorry for your Inequality
If I had one and you had two
I'd walk right up and say thank you
If you had two and I had one
It would not be, I would just run
But, Oh! I lament that it is so
For I have all, and I do know
People in our world fight to live
People in our world fail to live
Simple differences account for some
Tell me how you have come undone
Into a world in which our fear
Makes people want to not be here
I love you more, but that's not now
I cannot express, infinitely how
I'm sorry for your Inequality

I'm sorry for the Night
If ever it is dark outside
And you feel under pressure
Believe that darkness is alright
Believe that there is love in the absence of the light
You cannot see, but I love it
Darkness is who I am
Darkness is why we have some light
Darkness is what I am
And you are light, well, it is so
Always in my own eyes
Without darkness, if only light
There would be no surprise
I'm sorry for the Night

I'm sorry for your Misconceptions
Gradual pain lacking detection
Though you can't feel it, it isn't right
Behold what keeps me up at night
Money, fear, and imitation
All electronic stimulation
It's all vanity for let me say
It shouldn't really be that way
Arrows point you along the lines
To blind you from what you can find
I won't change you, you're independent
I'm sorry for your Misconception

I'm sorry for your Orders
I'm sorry since they make
You do for others, but listen now
It's surely a mistake
Collaboration makes us whole
Orders tear us apart
Doing for them will make your life
Begin to fail to start
Only do for others if they would do for you!
And if you do for others, do it also for you
For those who blindly follow feel so found, but are so lost
And acting for others all your life has an infinite cost
I'm sorry for your Orders

I'm sorry for your Violence
It's not right for us to fight
To use anger to express spite
People who hit surely don't know
What you would say, though it is so
I've heard you say it's not deserved
I've seen you ignore what you've heard
When you are hurt is my worst fear
I hope in your heart, I am near
For this message will take you through
And make a free person of you
I'm sorry for your Violence

I'm sorry for your Ego
Now, I'm glad you have some pride
We are all the same and you will know
This, if you look inside
There's no reason to feel as though
You're above or below
We are all made of dust of stars
And if you look, it shows
However, if you stand above
And you do so not out of love
I suspect that you may not see
That I am you, and you are me
I hope we come together so
We can all love and hear,
If we compromise our egos,
We shall be free of fear
I'm sorry for your Ego

I'm sorry for your Sadness
Though it does have a function
It may halt you from progressing
At an emotion junction
Oh, how I feel! How I struggle
To see you being sad
But I move on, for I do know
This sadness should be had
Sadness can never be deserved!
And at times, it's not right
But as sadness is like the dark,
Our love can be the light
So when you fall remember this,
From the bottom of the cup
As love fills up your spirit now
The water goes right up!
In this moment, please have no fear
Please fight to carry on
The sadness will be what saves you
Unless you're already gone
I'm sorry for your Sadness

Though I want you to have no pain,
Sorry, it isn't right
You now have oh, so much to gain
For let me shed some light:

2.
I'm not sorry for your Understanding
For since you clearly see
You understand our culture, here,
and you understand me
Oh, how I fight! Oh, how I seek!
I live to understand
Understanding does bring
And as it enhances my mind
It does a greater thing
It gives me my most sacred power
Which is to empathize with you
It makes it so I know what's false
And what I love, that is what's true
Understanding is all I need
To make this life complete
I look at you and understand
What it's like to walk in your feet
And what a majestic time it is!
To see someone and know
That all I've done and all they've done
Have led us here, to where we go
To meet and see each other's love
And burn each other's fear
When you help me understand you
Is truly only when I hear
I'm not sorry for your Understanding

I'm not sorry for your Sorrow
Even if regret can harm
Regret can consume your entire life
Or compromise your charm
Yet here, know this! You open up
When you apologize
And if you knew what it really was
It would be a surprise
Your sorrow is so humble
Your sorrow shapes your life
So long as sorrow teaches you
And please, without a knife
The function is for you to learn
To correct a bad fate
And now, all you need to do
Is not repeat mistakes
And please be free! For beyond that
Sorrow is but a waste
Take what the sorrow teaches you
And then, before it's too late,
Forget the pain, and do move on
It can be hard, I know
But once you love with what you've learned
The efforts of your sorrow show
I'm not sorry for your Sorrow

3.
Laterally and downward
Crazily like a pup
This is only what you expect
But it is only up

Like a madman scribbling
Or a child bored in class
Pain drags us along for a crazy ride
As if we have no mass

But listen here! Because I love
I can tell you why
Your pain just makes you beautiful!
Your pain just makes me cry

All of my new found perceptions
Enhance my life tenfold
But what you hear is born of pain!
I'm so warmed by the cold

And judge me not, but understand
I love the pained, the hurt
I love them more for their presence
Is such a wonderful work

I will plainly continue and say that your pain makes you beautiful. When I speak to my brothers and sisters who are mentally challenged, homosexual, or any other type of minority, I feel so loved and lucky to be in their presence because I know they had to fight harder to get to a point that they could look into my eyes and smile through their adversity. Pain has brought me gratitude!! Because since my pain made me isolated, so much as an acknowledgement makes me feel so loved. Pain has brought me perception!! Because I see the same gratefulness in others and it makes me understand that we all love those who share our pain. And along those lines, most importantly, pain brings us together. You should embrace your pain and wear in on your shoulder since you fought through it, you earned it, and by sharing it with others, we find what we truly have in common. Every person who shares their pain let's the struggling brothers and sisters know they are not alone! Pain is darkness, but by letting people know their pain is not abstract, we shed light unto their pain and we all love each other better and more productively.

I lost control, but just know this
Beauty is only pain
And from sharing the pain you have
Such love you have to gain!
It's another one where the letters, PAIN MOVES US, spell out sections 1 and 2, then I just had to go on a tangent since I love how much pain is beauty in my life and I hope you can love people through pain like I do because it is one of the best parts of my life
Bianca Hodge Apr 2013
I stop and listen………I look around me and see there is no one there.
It is quiet very quiet I can hear myself breathing…..Now. I am feeling,
Feeling this strong pain, but I do not know where the pain is coming from.
All I know that is unbearable. It hurts, it really hurts, and I want it to stop.
I fell to my knees helplessly due to the pain I feel, but I still do not know
Why am I feeling pain? Why does it hurt? Why do I feel weak? Why is it
Happening to me? What did I do to deserve so much hurt and pain?
Then In a split second I realize where the pain is coming from.
I slowly placed my hand on my chest. I can feel a slow beat ….I scream out in terror as the pain increases. The pain! The pain is coming from my chest. But what? What can be causing the pain in my chest? I fell backwards feeling the cold ground. Looking up at the dark sky and the only thing shining on me is the moonlight of the dark blue moon that I see. My vision is starting to turn blurry; I think is because of the pain. I just lay there trying to think trying to figure out what can it be that causing the pain in my chest? What can it be? Then I close my eyes thinking that death will soon reach me. I stay completely quiet. I didn’t even make one sound. I just let the tears flow the wet cold tears run from my face, and then. I remember …. I remember …. I remember what is causing the pain …….how can I forget? Wait! I choose to forget. Because all it brought me was misery and pain ….so much pain so much hurt, but it also brought me happiness and love, but yet Then the same happiness and love turn to grief then it turn into deep really deep scars of pain ….. So now I know why I am feeling pain I try it again I had used it one more time. I had so much hope so much desire, and now ……it left me with pain. it left me with pain. I feel all my deep scars opening again I can feel it penetrating through my chest, and it hurts. It hurt so badly. I just want to die. I just want to rip it out. I just want to take it out my chest. I want it to be gone. I don’t want it anymore. Do you hear me? I don’t want it anymore!
I don’t want to be happy! I don’t want to smile! I don’t want to love! I don’t want to be love! You know why because in the end I will be left alone. I will be left alone with all these painful scars, I will be left alone with the pain that I am feeling now, so please just take it away. Just take it away. I open my eyes one more time to see the moon, but all I saw was darkness just pure darkness, and then. I rip it out. I rip out the thing that was causing all that hurt and pain. That was causing all that suffering and misery. You know what it was. It was my heart ……………..it was my heart. And then I close my eyes and I let the last tears fell from my eyes, and then I died. Right there all alone on that cold floor with my heart in my hand…… all alone.
Pat Rooney Feb 2014
Loneliness is a pain,
Not the pain of a knife cutting through skin, sinews, muscles,and drawing blood.
Not the pain of a tooth in your mouth throbbing and sending shocks of horrors through highways of swollen nerves..
Not a fatal pain of a dying cell being devoured by a cancerous growth that thrives on the death and the pain of the very cells that produces its been.
Not the pain of the prisoner s body been tortured by men who see no wrong or feel no shame as they insert sharp hot instruments into natural and man made orifices in their captives helpless, hopeless bodies.
Not the pain of age as the body's functions start their natural march towards unreliability , Hips, knees knuckles, elbows and all the other joints as they  begin to slowly dry up and rub  against each other like stones rolling down a hillside.
Not the pain of hearts slowing, livers hardening,lungs wheezing like ripped accordians bellows .
Not the pain of childbirth.
Not the pain of accidents that show no fairness to the person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Not the pain of self inflicted wounds that can fool you into thinking that that pain is the answer to your  problems.
Not the pain of the young healthy times when the body, and mind  could accept it and overcome it
  Not the pain of hunger or thirst.

Loneliness is the pain of the soul .
Loneliness is the pain of dreams that are dreamt when your asleep and when you'r awake.
Loneliness is the pain of memories . Some half  forgotten some that are so clear you could almost touch them.
Some you'd rather forget.
Some you would spend the rest of your life reliving over and over again.
Loneliness is the pain that  at times can be part relieved momentarily  through the bottom of a whiskey bottle or a point of a syringe filled with a concoction of juices from plants poisonous to both the body and the soul.
Loneliness can never be cured by earthly things. Loneliness is a pain that can only find peace through a kinderd spirit.
   Pat Rooney 2013
Leiser Poetry Mar 2019
For Aimee's birthday the plan was to get her first tattoo. She was a blond hair lady with a wide bust, huge hips and big *****. Her ***** were one of her best assets she loved to see her body as her canvas her  piece of art; she got her  mind set on getting a rose and heart near her ***** and chest.

She went online booked an appointment in the nearest tattoo parlour to book her consultation to meet the tattoo artist who will be working on this project with her and this was where she met MR Pain.

MR Pain was an  average built man with some muscle tone on his legs and arms. He had tattoo's covering every flex of his body. He wasn't much of the talker in the first meeting more of a quiet and down to earth man. He asked

“ Okay what part of your body would you want the tattoo?”  

“She shyly said “my *****”

His eyes gleamed started to fixate on them as he chuckle

“ well that can be arranged”
I hope you have you brought a design or a piece of artwork with you so I can see a visual design of what you what to have done on your skin”

she took out the picture, he attentively looked at it for half hour and said

“heart and a rose…
this…
could take a few sessions…  
depends on how much detail you want in your design”

He randomly blurted out

“Mmm… I love your *****”.

“More to the point – serious question would you to be able to take on pain? think about it first.

I could show you want you be facing up to with an early demonstration just sign the contract it'll be my treat for your 18th birthday do you fancy hooking up for a drink at my place”

Aimee couldn't see much in the contract the print was tiny; she felt his warm gaze and grin darting around her as she tried to make out what it was saying. His eyes hypnotic and calculating

“Do we have a deal!”

Aimee smiled and nodded she signed her name and said
“can see no wrong in that” its only a drink”

Mr Pain with rasping voice replied

“Excellent!”

Aimee shyly said “should I bring anything with me?”

Mr Pain shrugged

“Nah, I got plenty of drink”
everything we need is here at my place,
don't worry bring yourself
will order a taxi my treat”.

As soon as Aimee got home she had  a bath in honey and milk bath oil. Her ***** were like two huge sunken peaches glazed out in the sun. She got out of her bath robe and placed a long black dress and heels with pink lipstick.  All ready for the evening, she entered the taxi the driver was glaring at her  through the mirror

“You look nice!
“where you going to?”
Aimee gave him the slit of paper with Mr Pain's home address:

the cab driver looked horrified
he silently started to mutter to himself

“that place”,
“another victim;
she’s the third woman this week  
I would be careful with MR Pain,
“I have heard many stories”

Aimee shrugged

“Are you sure?
Can't be the same man
I know ”

Taxi driver shook his head.

“For **** sake
another dippy girl,
what's the world coming to
this is why I hate my job”

He opened up the cab door. Aimee stepped out the taxi

“Thanks for the tip.
Have a good evening.
be careful hunny”  

III MR Pain's Headquarters

Mr pain was waiting outside in the garden.  Dressed head to toe black. His grin slightly twisted and eyes gleaming in the sunlight.  

“Good of you to make it.
Aimee looking beautiful,
make yourself  comfortable.
I will be back with you shortly
I'm with another client.

Aimee waited in the living room for mr pain she could hear random screams and sound of crashing whips from downstairs wailing sounds of another lady
crying out
“ yes master will do what you want”

Aimee was  shaken up by the noise but turned on by the intensity of it all. She laid on the sofa and circled around her ******* with her fingers while doing this she was unaware mr pain was watching her through the CCTV camera. His voice loud and commanding

“I take it your ready for the demonstration”

Aimee stopped what was she was doing
feeling startled by his voice and stammering

“Yes- I - am”  

“Excellent – it may surprise you,
put the blindfold on it is on the table
there will be someone that will
take you through to the main room”

Aimee was feeling anxious and shaken now there were so many things going through her mind

what was the demonstration about ?
Why was there whips and screams?
why was the taxi driver talking
about girls being victims  

“I feel tired mr pain
wish to go home”

“Nonsense you got here,
your not going anywhere
you'll love it”

The figure placed the blindfold over her eyes; led her through a dark tunnel. The room was a cold and damp there were two other girls  with blindfolds being chained and whipped to the wall. Their skin looked as if they had at least 2 lashings a day from the whip there were bite marks and bruises around their body pleasure apparently was substituted equally with the pain. Mr pain got his whip ready; Aimee could not believe what she was seeing around her.  

“Your a fraud, your no tattoo artist
your a *******
a dangerous man
I knew I should have listened
to the taxi driver”

Mr pain voice raspy but more commanding now

“Yes you should have your going no where until my little demonstration is complete
then you can go free ”

He took out the gag from his pocket and placed it on her mouth so she could not speak, grabbed out the  whip and gave her a lashing; followed by gnawing on her ******* and chest;

“You feel what pain is"

He laid her on the table restrained her arms and legs she can not move and fight his advances. He licked her *******; making his way to her ***** licking up and down then in circular movements while Aimee was moaning she started to ***; he then took out what looked to be a huge ***** from the cupboard; pushing it into her ***** her eyes rolled to the side she started to squirm, she didn't know whether to squeal or scream  as pleasure and pain were intensified and felt equal in measure. His **** grew in size with now a huge  hunger in his eyes he pushed his **** further into her making her legs weak and squeal he could feel her heat up and ****** all over the table: he then rolled her to the side and pushed his **** into her *** pushing it all the way in he could now hear her muffled squeals as he fill her up with his ***.

“Demonstration is over; your free to go: taxi will pick you up, its up to you if you return for more but if you say anything about this; I will find you and you'll be back here and will belong to me”  

Aimee quickly put her dress on her. Looking shaken and tired, bruises and marks on her sweat and *** on her too she went straight for the cab. The driver took pity on her and didn't charge her  for the ride.  It was all a distant black memory she didn't say a thing. it was all a blur, a dark secret she was worried about the other girls; did they escape in the end from the crutches of mr pain or did they chose to stay there with him: she was just happy to escape and be free.
Rachel Samson Dec 2013
Pain pain go way
Never come back for another ache.
I’m too tired, messing with my mistake.
Pain pain go away!

Pain pain go away
I've been too weak for what you did.
Stubbing my heart, until it bleed.
Pain pain go away !

Pain pain go away!
I’ll never be deceived, your love is fake.
I’m too drained, black tears I cried.
Pain pain go way!

Pain pain go away
Never come back for another lie.
My heart is breaking, and soon will die.
Pain pain go away!
aviisevil Jun 2017
There was a time when I wanted to fly. There was a time when I wanted to feel as alive as possible. Now I'm just scared. Afraid, of how things can go wrong in one second. One moment you are someone and the other moment someone else. There's no story here. No words or figures. Just me. Just me and you. I don't know why you're here. I don't want to know. But I know you know what I'm talking about. You know the pain. We all do. If you don't, just pretend you're lucky. Because you're not.

Pain is universal for us. We can't possibly imagine a world without pain. We pretend it is something evil and cursed. Something rotten and broken. But it's not. It's the only truth other than death. That's the only thing that will still hold your hand when you're waiting for death to come. It is your most trustworthy friend. The only true friend that let's you be.

Death takes you away. Happiness makes you forget who you really are. But pain. Oh, the pain. How many countless artists and art has been made because of pain ?. Almost all of it. Because pain teaches you about a world that is far and isolated from everything. Where you can be truly you. At your best and worst.

But I don't like pain. It's just not for me. I don't thrive in pain. I give myself up. Some people create when they're in pain. I destroy. You can make art both ways. You just can't choose which one belongs for you. And it's killing the world.

The problem in the world is that we're all afraid. We're all afraid to love and be ourselves. We can blame it on everything else but honestly it's our fault. It's inside us and we weren't taught to respect it, we weren't taught to separate pain from love. For us it's the opposite faces of the same coin. Pain is not absence of love, Nor is love presence of happiness. It's born inside everyone differently. It's like our DNA, different for everybody.





We're not taught about freedom anymore. But rules and laws. We're not taught about how we can be ourselves but how we can be someone else. It's a race and we're all losing. We're all losing because there's no finish line. We're all just running because the first guy began to run and then the next followed him. Now anyone who doesn't run will find himself lonely. There's nobody left standing still. Everybody is busy in running to no where. The world feels small now. The universe feels explored. There are more answers to questions now, but we're still clueless.




There is more love to be had now more than ever. There are so many of us now.

But where is love ?. Where is this magical thing. Where does it hide ?.

When I was little I searched for it in people. When I grew up I searched for it in my heart. And today, with a broken heart I know where it is.

Far and unreachable but somewhere beautiful and warm.


There's no pain as the pain from a broken heart. It swallows every inch of your body, your soul, along with every positive energy in the world. It swallows time itself.

The worst part is, even if you could go back and change things... you wouldn't.

That's not love. That's the pain.

That's the pain telling you that you not only need something but something that was a part of you is missing.

The pain is what keeps the love alive and in a way keeps the world alive.

And We'll be nothing without love.

Not with our skyscrapers and latest technology, addictions and trends.

Have you ever met a man who lost on love ? Who saw his love slowly walk away leaving him alone in the universe.

Do you think he still enjoys good food or music ?

Do you think those things matter anymore ?

Love is magical. Magic does not exist. It only appears in a moment briefly only to disappear.

Leaving you scratching your head because you have no clue what hit you.

Getting hit by a train is better, some would say. It's not even anywhere close in my opinion.

And when you're in that pain. You realise there's no difference between love and pain.

But the difference you make.

It's as much more important to heal the world today than live within ourselves in pain.

It's as much more important to stop running for a moment and see around ourselves. See if somebody needs to be picked up.

And love is the only thing strong enough to make us stop.

But you now what ?.

Pain is the only thing that will make you stay.
It's an excerpt from something I was writing once.
My pain is my pain
You can’t take away my pain
My pain is a pain that shouldn’t be shared
It’s a pain that’ll leave you scarred
Lonely, alone, and scared
Doors locked, windows barred
4 walls closing in, 4 walls fading out
This pain is a pain I can’t handle
Starting from one thing to another
It’s always a consistent all around or just about
This pain is pain that goes to your head
If you’re not careful, the demons, the voices
They will leave you silently dead
Its my life, its my pain, but it's not my choices
I was born this way, no one can fix me
No one can help me, this pain is my pain
It will never go away
No matter what the doctors do or say
The tears suddenly stop because I’m slowly fading away
Is there time? Is there faith? Is there anything to take away this pain
Probably not, so i’ll remind you one last time
My pain is my pain
You can’t take away my pain
Don’t you try to take away my pain
You don’t understand
But that’s what i’m trying to do
Is get you to understand
That you can’t take away my pain
My pain is my pain
Alec Dec 2017
Pain, without love
Pain, can’t get enough
Pain, it’s all i love
I need to feed this hurt in me

Pain, drugged me up
Pain, it’s all i want
I need to feed this Beast in me

Pain, in solitude
Pain, it’s what i do
Pain, can’t get too deep
Just what i need to feed this Beast

Pain, in agony
Pain, it’s not what you think
This is release
The pain is inside me

Pain, flowing down
Pain, it won’t get out
Pain
It’s all i want, it’s all i need
Just feed this Beast inside of me

Pain, make it stop
Pain, it’s ‘round the clock
Pain, where’s my lunch break?
Pain, won’t let me escape

Pain, it’s all i want
Pain, it’s all i need
Pain, i need to leave
But not unless it won’t let me
Elvis phiri Jan 2016
It hurts at first but not for long.
Maybe it’s because at first you don't seem to mind
letting them see you hurt,
But after a while, you just want to keep it all in with you
You feel the pain must be hidden and the feeling bottled up
To an extent not even your eyes show traces of
the loneliness and pain you feel
Pain hidden well inside it's like it’s not even there
But lurks behind your eyes.
Pain only shown in the things you posses and in your desire for solitude. You saw her attempt to
hide the tears she had shed right in front of you and you felt like not even the pain she had physically inflicted on you could match what you felt then
You felt as though nothing in the world was more painful than the feeling of helplessness you felt
then,
You wanted to take it all away and keep it to
yourself.
You felt like reaching out to her and showing her
that you're deeply affected by her pain, But did not dare cause you where overwhelmed by the fear of opening the door holding your pain.
Pain hidden deep in the abyss of your heart.
You can't tell them how many times you have
attempted to expose this pain, for each time you
tried you froze. You have never known why. Maybe it was because of talking to them,
Listening to their laughter
And looking at the curve of their smile made it all
go away...
...for a while. But it all came back once they left.
You hope someday you will expose this fear you never show, that they may see this person hidden within
and hope they still look through him and see you....
It hurts at first but not for long
Maybe it’s because at first you don't seem to mind
letting them see you hurt
But after a while, you just want to keep it all in with you
You feel the pain must be hidden and the feeling bottled up
To an extent not even your eyes show traces of
the loneliness and pain you feel
Pain hidden well inside it's like its not even there
But lurks behind your eyes.
Pain only shown in the things you posses and in your desire for solitude. You saw her attempt to
hide the tears she had shed right in front of you and you felt like not even the pain she had physically inflicted on you could match what you felt then
You felt as though nothing in the world was more painful than the feeling of helplessness you felt
then,
You wanted to take it all away and keep it to
yourself.
You felt like reaching out to her and showing her
that you're deeply affected by her pain, But did not dare cause you where overwhelmed by the fear of opening the door holding your pain.
Pain hidden deep in the abyss of your heart.
You can't tell them how many times you have
attempted to expose this pain, for each time you
tried you froze. You have never known why. Maybe it was because of talking to them,
Listening to their laughter
And looking at the curve of their smile made it all
go away...
...for a while. But it all came back once they left.
You hope someday you will expose this fear you never show, that they may see this person hidden within
and hope they still look through him and see you....
Edwin Reyes Nov 2014
Pain......Pain.......Pain......
Death's Gentle Touch.                

Pain.....Pain.....Pain.....              
A measure of a souls worth.
                                      
Pain....Pain....Pai­n....      
A simple reminder, of what we are.
                    
Pain...Pain...Pain...        
Fragile, weak, selfish.
                  
Pain..Pain..Pain..
We learn from it.

Pain.Pain.Pain.
But what is it we truly gain?
AD Snail Apr 2016
Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When the world isn't so ashamed.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can actually get back up on my feet.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can make you go away more easily.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I finally have someone beside me.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I don't have so much on my mind.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I can finally pretend your not there.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I finally can learn how to survive.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I don't have to worry about everything.

Pain Pain go away,
Please come back another day,
When I the world gives me a break, so I have time to deal with you.
Ayeshah Mar 2010
So much pain in my life,

I got a million question and can only get one answer; this too shall pass...,

I can't say nothing back I got so much that's already past in my life,

I try to do right try to live by the word yet as wordily as

I live I still can't get up from this weight burdening my chest.

So much pain in my life,

I thought of giving up many times,

Thinking how I got my soul whooped and got my face torn - broken

My heart left in shambles but still I continue,

I strive and survived made it threw so many storms

but how long I can I go on,

how can I continue to hold my head up ,

So Much Pain in my Life,

Look at all the stuff that's happened Uncle killed in car accident,

Born to a mother with nothing but sin prostitution,

A drunk& drug addicted father who couldn't bother

for the life of him to give to all these children

what was need to

keep even the house heated,

Marine &Vietnam; Vet- P.o.w. ,

Shhh get down don't move,

See this was something

we all got used to made fun of him and his craziness too,

So Much Pain in my Life

Nana Sick and doing her best with all these kids,

Got a gambling husband

so hiding Money be come a game to us,

Out in the street catching heat,

rolling with the Latin Queens thinking

I was bigger and bader than anyone

till shot fired

My friends life "red" spread on the concrete, got pregnant

and never thought to be the same ,

Little girl become woman - At 13 -Baby ripping out my innocents,

Hell of a life to live &still; I give!

So Much Pain in my life...........



SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE,

Why me I cried to Allah/God,

Why am I being punished, my answer in return, was nothing,

So much Pain in My life..,

Lightly

thoughts come to my head "this is the cross you must bear,

a test to see how much do you love me" must be the voice I been waiting for...,

After that silence noting...,

I bow my head and say thank you ...,

Even still I'm left feeling stupidity and sorrows chilling my bones,

So much Pain in My Life,

Strife's wont let up ,You cant possible know my pain just like I cant know yours,

Saw Tricks turn Church goers and pimps turn child molesting-  Preachers,

Growing up grown and trying to make on my own, NYC held me down,

But the lessons haven't ended it's just the beginning for me,

So Much Pain in my life, I

'I'll continue and win some day soon...,

Until I do hmm I cant tell you

I have no advise to give to you, as wise I am

I'm still learning and growing ..,

So much pain in my life,

Been mother and pretend father to children of and not of my flesh,

Been the abused as well as the abuser,

Many times I wanted to take my own life, but the Sign at the

Gates Say do not enter the sin and thoughts of a sinner must

not disgrace these steps turn around its not ya time and if you take ya life ,

You'll never be a child of mines,

I walk away inflated, Begging to make it another day,

So much pain in my Life,

Night and day I beg for release for the pain in my heart to Cease,

Wanting to be more and working on the impossible,

Cuz threw my life and my eyes

I see miracle's happening every day and the dream continues to make me,

Breaking sprites but in love I can't say I ever felt it truly owned it or knew it,

Lust I can confess plenty,

but one things for sure My time isn't priceless everyone has something in the closet,

weather or not , they'll tell is up to them for me its another way to let you in,

So much Pain In My LIFE.........,

Now as I lay my children down to sleep,

I smile and think to my self even threw it all I got the

one things that counts& cant ever hurt me ,

Maybe I say..,

Thinking of Nana again and the pain her own Children caused her,

I say another Prayer,

Spare me lord, don't let my children ever feel what I felt..,

And if it can be helped please never let them live life as

I once did ,Give me the peace in knowing they'll

grow up better and striving to Greatness in their own

womanhood,

With out, So much Pain in their Life.

Like mines...,

I'm crying as I ask him this and I say to him again even thou you

Carried me as the
Footprints would have me Believe..,

I thank you still for you're by my side and always will be..,

knowing your

Love's unconditionally

Given to me with out question
and I'm blessed
Still I say thank you..,

Knowing you Saved me

SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!

Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Jonah Lavigne Nov 2013
No one knows real pain
Real pain is when I'm away from you
Real pain is something I feel every day
Real pain comes when I see you
Real pain comes when I know it will never be us
Real pain comes when you say you love him
Real pain is all I feel now a day
Real pain hurts the worst
Real pain is something no one will understand
Real pain is what I understand
Real pain is all I know
For real pain comes from love that has been thrown away
Real pain is knowing you are with him
Real pain is when you lie and say you are happy with him
Real pain is when you are hurt and I can't help
Real pain is when I love you but you don't love me
Real pain is the worst but its what I feel when I'm with you
But I stay with you because I'm right for you and I love you
Marian Jan 2014
Pain, pain is all I feel
Sharp, excruciating pain
Pain, pain please go away!
I am so miserable right now
Pain, pain is all I feel
And I cannot stop it
Unless I eat something
So I can have my pain medicine
Pain, pain you're out of my control
Pain, pain if there would be anything
That I could hate, it would be you
You're hurting me, and I cannot stop you
Pain, pain is all I feel
Will it ever stop?

*~Marian~
Yesterday, after my appointment the podiatrist had numbed me up...
he said it would be VERY painful when it "woke up"!!!!
And it is!!!!
I am in SOOO much pain right now....I am miserable!!! ~~~~~~<3
Hopefully, I feel better in a few days!!! :) ~~~~~~~~~<3
I just had to vent here, as right now as I type this I am in PAIN!!! ~~~~~<3
But no worries, I think I'll be okay!!! :) ~~~~<3
marc rios Oct 2018
Life is full of surprises
It may shook you
It may anger you
Or it may give you happiness

But sometimes it may also give you pain
Pain that gives you pressure
Pain that gives you ache
Pain that will physically hurt you
And Pain that gives pleasure to somebody

But the pain that hurts the most is the pain that comes from the people you love
Destiny is a very tricky and a very playful thing, sometimes Destiny will be our friend and sometimes it will be our enemy

Now to the pain that comes from our love ones
A pain that comes from it is a very hurtful and a very offensive attack that can cause your world shaky and devastating

It will bring tears unstoppably impossible to pull back
It will make you feel like being tortured
and it will sometimes drive you crazy

Especially, when you gained that pain from a  backstabber that makes up different stories and excuses just to get you down

That pain, if you felt that kind of pain it's the pain that you feel from the inner part of the heart, the pain that connects and destroys your whole body

The kind of pain where you feel lost
The kind of pain where you feel alone
The kind of pain that don't heal quickly and easily

But you can either fall back or fight back, it's your choice but the best is to stand still and fight back

There is also a special way that will make you feel better
It's the kiss and love from someone that loves and understands you

Every body has its weakness
Everybody has imperfections
But everybody is not born to be wild,bold, and strong to cover those weakness

Everybody don't get the chance to  shine
There is always somebody that's always in the bottom no matter how hard they tried

Life really is full of surprises
It may be good or bad
It may be lucky or unfortunate
But always remember

We are the captain of our fate
We control our future
We control our self
We control our choices
Pain
Eats at my very soul

Heart beats hard exploding in my brain with each thump

Pain
No one can understand unless they have been here

My mind screams with the unfairness of it all

Pain
It eats away at your confidence in self first

I was a strong minded woman now weak without strength

Pain
It can't be described as it rips through the body

Wholes are throughout leaving tunnels along the connective tissue

Pain
Detroying that which makes me unique

Takes away my wisdom as the tunnels weaken the mind

Pain
Leaving fear in places that used to be fearless

Alone as the demons remove my self worth

Pain
Creeps its way into the heart eating at the good as well as the bad

Heart skipping beats as it begins to lose its ability to beat

Pain
Works against every positive thing one has in life

Taking away my ability to stand on my own two feet making me dependent

Pain
Chews and feeds until it overuns the mind and body

Nothing left to help me fight even my will has been chewed away

Pain
Left to finish the job as no one notices before it is to late

I cry for help yet the vileness fills my throat and mouth making it impossible

Pain
Takes everything away, then heads to the next victim

I am left lifeless, no strength, energy, no will to live, fight, or breathe,

If only I had noticed sooner when that first seed was planted
I wish I had paid more attention to the weird things I noticed
Now I can no longer survice for the pain has won

Please I beg you, do not let it happen to you
FIGHT
FIGHT
FIGHT BACK!*

Don't let it win

Don't find yourself in a huge lifeless formwanting to escape with no outlet

For heaven's sake fight for your life beat the pain take its power away

I will be buried soon and the pain will try to skip to another person
Put up your defenses around me and don't let it in destroy it while it is trapped inside of me

Pain
It is a scarey way to go, save yourself from the pain
Written by Jennifer Humphrey
isabella Jul 21
Sometimes,
Pain is like a hummingbird.
Flitting here and there,
Never staying in one place for too long.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a knife to the heart,
Bleeding, an open wound,
With no way for you to stitch it up.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a shattered mirror,
You pick the pieces up,
But there's no way to put them back together.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a waterfall,
Crashing and thundering and roaring down,
Never easing up.

Sometimes,
Pain is like an aching joint,
Throbbing and pulsing,
Always there no matter what happens.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a puzzle,
Someone ripping you apart,
Putting you back together the wrong way.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a secret told,
Too many ears,
Too many people.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a bullet,
There for a second,
And then you're free falling.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a bright light,
Look at it too long,
And you become blinded.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a game of torture,
Daggers, blood, droplets,
Salty water on the tip of your tongue.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a daydream,
You know it's not real,
But do you really want to stop dreaming?

Sometimes,
Pain is like a rainy day,
Puddles of gloom,
Each drop sending out ripples.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a fairytale,
The dragon guarding the tower,
The damsel crying in the shadows.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a shot,
****** your skin,
And you succumb to it.

Sometimes,
Pain is a bruise,
You don't want to press it,
But you somehow manage to.

Sometimes,
Pain is like a butterfly.
Beautiful, wings of color,
Until you taste the bitterness.

Sometimes,
Pain is a pleasure.
Watching the blood run down your skin,
Ripping you apart from your very seams.

Always,
Love will give you pain.
Whether it friend or lover,
Whether you forgive or not.

I forgive,
I forget,
Because the pain won't go away,
No matter how strong you are.

So, my friend,
Are you ready to forgive and forget?
Or succumb to the pain,
And never learn to love again?
Manny Feb 2014
Taking the pain
To release my pain
The pain I'm feeling deep inside
My heart
My brain
Emotional pain
Which I'm trying so desperately to hide.

Taking the pain
To release my pain
The pain I'm feeling deep inside
Anxious
Worried
Mental pain
No one for me in which to confide.
(anymore)

Taking the pain
To release my pain
The pain I'm feeling deep inside
Horrified
On the edge
Physical pain
Turning over to the dark side.

Taking the pain
To release my pain
The pain I'm feeling deep inside
My heart
My brain
Emotional pain
Which I'm trying so desperately to hide.
12:50pm 12/2/14
© Maniba Kiani
Wrote this whilst I was in school
ScrabbleDiva Sep 2014
Some people think they know what pain is.
I'll tell you what pain is.

Pain is accidentally using your astringent instead of your eye makeup remover.
Pain is stepping on a lego barefoot.
Pain is stubbing your pinky toe on the same table leg for the 50th time.

Pain is taking responsibility for something that wasn't your fault simply because you're an "adult."
Pain is shedding a tear for the close friend who committed suicide over a year ago.
Pain is thinking about the last look of recognition before your grandfather's death.

Pain is feeling like you can never be honest with anyone about what you are truly feeling.
Pain is the fear that you may not ever find "the one."
Pain is caring too much for people who will never love you.

Pain is realizing that everything you believed in might be false.
Pain is knowing that the people you trusted have lied to you.
Pain is understanding that they were only doing what they thought was right.

This is my pain.
What's yours?
Lia Nov 2015
Me
The moment I realized I didn't like me was when I allowed pain to become my best friend.
See pain was always there right by my side never letting me down.
When my boyfriend just left me alone with no explanation pain was there.
When My best friend betrayed me and broke my trust pain was there.
When my uncle use to sneak in my room at night to play his special game pain was there.
So it was only natural for me to cling to pain.
Holding my hand through it all,
Pain was the only stable thing in my life never changing up on me. Never hitting me with a unwanted surprises. No matter the problem I can always count on pain to help the tears fall  smooth and freely.
Pain knows my heart like no one else inside and out.
Clinging to it the moment it feels peace trying to tear us apart.
Pain will never leave me alone to deal with life.
Pain has been around so long we look identical.
Pain has moved in uninvited of course but I can't put pain out
due to the fear of being alone.
Pain has spoiled me with devotion and dedication.
Pain is my lover
Pain is my Friend
Pain is my teacher
Pain is Me.
LycanTheThrope Jun 2015
You left me
Broken
Scarred
And Bleeding
But I forgave
I can’t forget
Not now
Not yet
But when I do leave
I won’t leave you like you left me
I won’t hurt you
I won’t scar you
I won’t break you
I won’t make you bleed
I won’t make you feel pain
Pain hurts people
It breaks them
When you hurt someone
You can feel it burn under your skin
You can hear the ice rush in your blood
You can see the dark shadows in your eyes
You can taste their pain, cracking with every touch you make
So why didn’t you feel it
Burn past my skin
Why didn’t you hear it
The ice cracking my frozen blood
So why didn’t you see it
The shadows leaving me blind
Why didn’t you taste it
My pain cracking me inside to out
I’m breaking from your touch…
I tried to learn how to
Make my skin as hard as steel
To heat my blood with fire
To live in the shadows
To hide my pain inside
and put the pieces back together
But they don’t fit.
They’ll never fit.
They can’t.
I’m In pain
When I hold him
Pain hurts.
Pain may be a 4-letter word to you
But to me
It’s what my life has become.
I don’t feel anymore,
Nothing but you touch.
I don’t hear anymore,
Nothing but your voice.
I don’t see anymore,
Nothing but your face.
I don’t taste anymore,
Nothing but your pain.
I don’t live anymore,
The pain killed me.
I won’t forget
Not yet.
Not until you know what pain I’m in.
Pain breaks people
It scars them
They can never pick up the broken pieces
because they cut themselves
they injure themselves
just trying to put them back together
They don't know they can't fix it
They wonder where it all went wrong.
Please stop giving false hopes
It wasn’t their fault that they,
Bleed more feeling
Damage more sound
Hurt more sight
Wound more taste
**** more life
Like you killed mine
I’ll leave you
Unlike you left me
You are unhurt
Unscarred
Unbroken
and feel no pain
Pain.
A 4-letter word to you
But my life to me
I’ll let go of my pain now
Because,
finally,
I let go of
*You.
A very old poem. Written when I was twelve.
12 reasons to leave
kas k Aug 2012
Weaken by the breeze
he settles  like the grumbling of burning embers,
he dreads the color gray.
A freckle in the upper right of his earlobe,
he sighs so close to a cry, for minute in the ice of morning
he holds on to his ears,
to keep what he heard inside as if the
dying flutters of a butterfly.

Today he hides inside,
inside deep pockets rattling with the lost things he found,
faster and faster he walks across
the streets  as if it would get him closer
closer to himself, as if late for a bad day,
he goes no where but feels with each step the pain
in the soles of his feet.

The pain makes the day real,
the pain makes the day real


the steep hills mimic  the thought sky of his heart and how his
mind struggles not to fall backwards but to reach the top.

He never does but instead he spins burning in circles.
The day isn't real anymore,  he walks faster.

The pain  makes the day real
The pain  makes the day real
The pain  makes him real.


He dreads the gray, the color pervades today.
weaken by the breeze
he circles again returning to where he began
In his mind he counts the shavings of  wings
He fell back and his heart closed up the shop early.
In his mind the stone cease to be cast out, cease to ripple
yet the residual  still echo faintly, as his ears burn.

The pain makes the day real.
The pain makes the day real
The pain makes him real


Weaken by the breeze
he settles  like the grumbling of burning embers,
he dreads the color gray.
A freckle in the upper right of his earlobe,
he sighs so close to a cry, for minute in the ice of morning
he holds on to his ears,
to keep what he heard inside as if the
dying flutters of a butterfly.

Today he hides inside,
inside deep pockets rattling with the lost things he found,
faster and faster he walks across
the streets  as if it would get him closer
closer to himself, as if late for a bad day,
he goes no where but feels with each step the pain
in the soles of his feet.

The pain makes the day real,
the pain makes the day real


the steep hills mimic  the thought sky of his heart and how his
mind struggles not to fall backwards but to reach the top.

He never does but instead he spins burning in circles.
The day isn't real anymore,  he walks faster.

The pain  makes the day real
The pain  makes the day real
The pain  makes him real.


He dreads the gray, the color pervades today.
weaken by the breeze
he circles again returning to where he began
In his mind he counts the shavings of  wings
He fell back and his heart closed up the shop early.
In his mind the stone cease to be cast out, cease to ripple
yet the residual  still echo faintly, as his ears burn.

The pain makes the day real.
The real makes the day feel.
The pain makes the day real


The lost cry of a male butterfly..
Becky Jan 2019
The pain runs so deep, deep in my heart, deep in my soul
The color that runs deep into my soul is dark and grey
The color that runs in my heart is so cold
The color of my pain that runs so deep is hard
The hurt and pain and the feelings of hollowness
The sadness and anger and loneliness
Deep in my heart, soul, and mind is there
Crying and hiding and holding back
I reach down deep into my hollow soul
Pull out the pain, the anger, and the loneliness
What do I have? Nothing!
The pain hurts so much
How can there be a pain with nothing inside?
Just a shell, just the outside, just the pain
Blood and guts, skin and hair
Are no longer there
Holes in my heart, holes in my head, holes in my soul
See right in front of me
See right through me
See right behind me
See right past me
The hollow shell full of anger
The hollow shell full of pain
The pain is instant
The pain is lasting
The pain will never end
How do I find my voice?
How to find the breath to speak?
Speak the words that tell
Speak the words that will help
How to fill that hollow shell
With love, and peace, and wholeness
The pain that runs so deep
Will always be from anger, from hatred, from long ago
The pain runs so deep, deep in my heart, deep in my soul
The color that runs deep into my soul is dark and grey
The color that runs in my heart is so cold
The color of my pain that runs so deep is hard
DAVID Jul 2015
the darkest hour, the longing
is gone, no look back, nor remorse,
only scars and internal bleeding,
the time of sorrow is past, no remorse
nor songs of regrets, futile are the sorrow
songs,

despair is good, like love or an ******,
after the secrets behind the dress, loving
wanting the female scent, can smell you,
as lion to his prey, as bees on honey,
looking at the female eyes, loving silently,
longing lascivious touch, in the heat of lust,
falling as a sinner for her ****** doors,

the hour of lust never goes, is cursing
every moment and every piece of flesh,
like the merchant of Venice, taking your skin
as mi own, devouring the placer of
making her *** and letting her go.

us  poets souls, loving without remorse
feeling and making love threw words,
in a shallow world, full of badly lust, the lust of us,
is sour but never cold, only shallow souls
can't make love, us always trying to love,

the darkest hour, the longing is on,
mesmerizing the lascivious touch,
looking at you'r ******* face,
sweet as hell feeling mellow and fool
as a little boy, in the hour's of hates,
there is no remorse after those gay boys
in shallow hall, even them knows who is not

some loving threw phones,
us ******* threw words, like the
first lover threw words, mister George
lord of us all, the poets following the trails,
of love and lust, looking the fleur du mal,
reading the maldoror, and watching
at abysmal thoughts, of greats and crazy lost,
how many of you **** with words,
as Baudelaire says,
hypocrite reader mi brother, the truth
is on our souls, she watch for us all.

a season inferne, trying to love her
and making her keep the ******* soul,
soulless girl is already lost, crazy paths to her,
lost, but never stain my soul, in the darkest hour,
loving as i let go, feeling nothing, but the stain of
children blood in her hands, lost the soul, but trying
as never, to making her feel the love and lust in a
poets souls, beast are we all, of love and lust,

in this darkest hour, lost the heart but not my soul,
she is the love i make threw words, and lust is not
a game on her phone, or sexting foolishness,
where is thou lascivious touch, your heaven reach's,
gone. and never to return, too much connection
but no touch

lust is not a game, is an act of love,
pain and placer, lust and love,
flavors of the same drug, the drug of love,
every ****** is connected too us all, poetry
is ******* and loving threw words,
old pigs and lion and wolves,
making and matting and feeling it all.

the pain is part of lovers and lust, in
the empty streets of the days gone,
y can still see her with my eyes closed.
old lover of days far gone, still see you
with my eyes closed, the darkest hours
are gone and never to return, children's
blood stain the soul, of a soulless girl,

the our of darkness is not close to home,
i'm a poet in a crazy world, with out malice
or remorse, just a lover in the shallow halls,
full's of badly lust, and empty hearts with out the soul.
at the house of hell, immortality is far gone,
at this port of love and lust, are all vessels and boats
getting to the shore, or drawing in deep waters of
blood pain and lust, by not loving it all, pain and remorse
fear and love, lust and shame, all is there to feel it all,
there's  no escape for the truth in our souls, nor
ever going to be a safe port, the deep waters are
full of drawing boats, in the sea of life and love
let her go, and never look back as she lost her soul

the salt sculpture was looking back, now she is gone,
***** was full of badly lust, now she is a salty wall,
beneath hashem eyes she lost the ******* soul,
now and then never let the stain get's the soul,
is your only escape from hem, and his burning home
away the darkest hour, know that she is gone,
new dawns and new days, for this poet to love,
some day the cold will let her heart feel the eternal
fire of a poets soul. a burning heart full of love,
pain and lust, as the vessels sail on,
away far the boats are gone, beneath hashem's eyes

did he love, some will say, in deed he love,
and that is all, beneath the shallow halls
of love and lust i'm still alone in this ******* cold,
empty thoughts and lover soul's, is full by pain and lost
behind the eyes of a poets soul, is the abysmal truth
in the poets clothes, lust is nothing with out the love,
empty and vain, as a tick drinking flames of dragons yawns.


in the darkest of all hours i fell the pain of being alone,
no shame nor remorse, only the coldness, of being not,
a poets truth is on his soul, lucid thoughts in dark rooms,
and lost is not  a part of the all, the strings connect us all,
even the creepy lost, are part of us all, with o with out the soul,
but never he could stain my soul, beneath the shallow walls of
lust and love, some are lost, and alone, is a cold world, for the one with soul, evolved and ready for all, sill the soulless ones are looking for love and lust, even in shallow hall, their trying to be loved in return,

in the hour of lust and love, still the head need to be lost,
cause the pain was bigger then the love, even then i knew
one day i will going to love or try to, do,
i never be but alone, still can smell the sweetness,
of the lady's love, and make them feel adored,
and wanted, but still the head need to be lost,
the hours of pain are still near the bed,
looking as a drag remorse, or a foul lust taken by force,
or stolen in sleep, still the stains of ****** ****'s,
pollute what once  was full of love.

now is all full of lust and pain, never the soul
or the pain, take of nothing but shame,
of this poet's soul.
that even after the rapes, or  games
of creepy shames, lose the head or let the shame
direct my game, what once was stained, some will wash,
with love and lust, and honey tears, will take the stains
and love the flames in the poets heart.

nor shame nor remorse, just the truth and the flames,
never the blame will command my flames or foul my name,
connected are the strains of us all, as a mouse, as a lion
she will never pollute my name, or her shame will be minor,
the children s blood in her scent pollute the air,
and her bleeding hands are a ******* disgrace.

still the pain was washed away,
and the heart break was healed, after
all those years in pain, living in poets hell,
decadence as a way of life, despair and pain
***** my second and third name, now i'm clean
alive and well thoroughly clean is the soul of this,
project of man, sane and plain,

the darkest hours pass and where gone
alone and free, simple, smelling some
Madeleine in the sweet morning air,
the loner past, is gone with her lying eyes,
away i sail in this vessel, away the port, looking
for clean air, a woman with soul,
and this loving flame called poetry.

— The End —