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Regan Sep 2018
I have been attracted to you for a while
but didn’t think you felt the same.
but infact you might even like me more.
you think i’m beautiful and special indeed.
you’ve trapped me in your heart and blue eyes
you tell me you were to shy to tell me,
but i was too shy to tell you.
do you love me?
do I love you?
do you love me afterall?
you say things that make me blush.
and tell me what i want to hear.
you call me baby and your love.
things really did work out, didn’t they.
I’ve missed this feeling of love.
i guess you just might love me after all.
thank you, you.
Jordan Rowan Dec 2015
Have you ever felt like a child in the dark?
Where the whispers become thunder and the gods pound in your heart?
There's no sense in trying to quiet the storm
All that can be done is to embrace it with both arms

I feel like a traveller stumbling on a chest
Filled with something familiar but I can't quite place it yet
I found a picture lying in the dirt
As my mind was turned on by the velvet colored shirt

Some time ago, when my hair reached my eyes
I recall a quick visit that seemed to disappear and die
No matter how hard I try to remember
I can't come up with reasons I gave up that cold September

Now, as time's gone by, and things have changed
Like the inflections of my voice and memories estranged
I hear a voice from many Septembers ago
Like a harmony so rich that I can't wait to know
Caroline Grace Oct 2018
i am happy
lonely,
scared,
misguided,
and learning.
i am filled with
mistakes,
regret,
and love.
i am at peace
finally
Destiny k Deaton May 2014
He carries himself
with a radiating energy
Good and bad
I can feel it
From houses away
I wouldn't trade this
I wouldn't trade him
Our energy dances
even when we're mad
It's a dance & it's beautiful
Jeremy Betts Feb 2018
If I've fallen asleep, if indeed this is a dream, I beg you not to wake me
Leave me, don't hastily take from me this flurry of happy energy
Finally in a state I honestly never thought I'd get back to fully, at least not naturally
I've found the pieces to complete me and managed to pull it all together neatly
I thank God weakly, genuinely grateful to be able to say that and mean it deeply
Listen man, it wasn't easy for me
I was afraid the iron mask I wore would have left me a scared form
A deformed, grotesque ground up mess like I've been starring directly into an acid rain storm
The type you don't typically walk away from or come out same person
And I did indeed emerge through the swarm of locus a transformed man but barely human
It changed me but not for the worse like I had thought it would at first
But see, I thought I was cursed cause everything I touched became immersed
In a darkness that could not be reversed, through the shadows of the valley of death I've traversed
Coerced into wandering for years in the desert, dying of thirst
Accepted that a torchered existence was my life, a complete absence of any positive essence
No instant answers to the many questions, just a silence that tests my patience
But in this instance I've been awarded for my persistence, praised for my due diligence
Regardless the distance I've had to crawl, the depth I've had to fall, tears and all, no elegance
But I've finally made it y'all, it's 2:05, I've made it past last call
The rolling snow ball that gained speed and size and chased me like Indi has crumbled at the base of the wall
The one I built and armed to the hilt, no small feat but worth it all
And now, come night fall when I lay my head down to sleep I'm no longer greeted by the frightful
The eclipse is over, a new light emerges along with a wind to take with it the ashes
Those of my former self because I'm past this, left my baggage at baggage claim when I got off the plane at my new domain and ignore it like I'm ignorant to it as it passes.
Instead of the past consuming my minds eye I now get flashes
Of the future, it must be a new feature that came with the new glasses
I'm not one of those hyped up bad ***** but with a life like survival classes
And having endured a million lessons plus physical therapy sessions to rid me of the cast and crutches
I'm almost ready to move mountains or part seas like Moses, self worth raising like taxes
Watching intently as the person in the mirror changes right in front me to a new surface, a fresh canvas
Inside it's the same rerun, battling the fact that I'm not comfortable with change for any reason, not in the slightest
Anxious about the possiblity that it crashes around me rendering me a carcass
Then it's back to square one, stripped of my a dignity like a tree barkless
But unlike a tree, I am not heartless, an emotional mess? Yes, but regardless
I've been blessed with a little boy so I need to employee better aim and better targets
Can't spar with the darkness, the gloves are off, time to end this circus
Jack Jenkins Mar 20
You never knew why I loved you & I would always give a cliche answer about how only you can be you

That's true

But also loving you I found out that loving myself wasn't too bad
That loving you made loving myself worth it

When I had that shotgun in my lap I had all my trauma right on the surface
Things I couldn't change, or maybe I could
I don't know

I couldn't stop my dad from seeing prostitutes just like I couldn't stop my mom from hitting him for four hours

I couldn't stop my friends from killing themselves, except maybe for her
Everyone says it's not my fault
But
If I was the only thing she was living for
Why is she dead?

These are the thoughts in my head just like the last time I spoke to you
Here I am with the same thoughts once again
But with no shotgun
And no you

Because the thing I didn't want you to hear
The thing I didn't want to face
Was that I was dying loving you
Because you didn't love me
So I wasn't worth loving myself
I was better off dead

So I write to the memory I have of you
Again
To tell you I'm so sorry
I made our friendship the guardrail against the cliff of my despair
It was unfair to you
Two years and a hollowed out heart has changed me
Changed my thoughts about you & I
I still love you
Even when you never loved me
I pray you are free
I hope you're in love
And maybe you think of me
Our memories
Its all okay
I'm okay
//On her//
It's been a long journey from suicide attempt to peace. I had many friends once, and now I stand almost alone. Maybe that's what I needed. I shouldn't write at midnight...
She never felt sad and empty,
never knew the word lonely;
As a child, she believed in fantasies
that our world is like those in the stories.

Not until she reached fourteen,
coz the world she once knew
wasn't like it had always been.

The world slowly morphed into
something she once saw in her nightmare,
she was scared, didn't know what to do
wishing there's a safe place for her somewhere.

A lost angel is what she was,
wanting to go back to her paradise,
And when she turned fifteen,
the way to her home she had seen.
moon Oct 2018
it feels like it's all come to an end with me.
thank you for loving me and showing me how beautiful this world is.
for i remember the first time seeing you,
meeting you
and how i thought someone could be That perfect.
for i remember love in this house,
festive seasons and all i could smell is my mothers perfume when i felt like i could hug her for universes.
for i remember all the moments i had like These,
so low i couldn't feel any of that anymore.
so i say goodbye, most likely.
god, don't worry
i received your messages over the span of these years and i get it now,
please save a room up there with my name on it.
j, i'm coming to see you now.
i should have never made that promise last december.
i'm coming to see you now.
friends, thank you for loving me even when i could barely use the four muscles in my face needed to smile at you to simply say
good morning.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for getting worse all these years,
i couldn't be the person you needed me to be and
i'm sorry.
oh i'm sorry for coming into your life with the impression that i'd still be here after we all turned --.
but i'm leaving now,
i will join stars now,
and be at peace now.
thank you for loving me.
i feel extremely low
writerReader Aug 2018
It is time to do something
I am ready to begin
My life is not a race
It is a slow and lovely stroll
I can do this now
I know I can
I am ready to take the keys
I am ready to take the wheel.
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2016
It is out of the heart’s cavernous longing and furious search
for love, significance, acceptance, approval, identity, security,
freedom, belonging, innocence, intimacy and transcendence—
out of its primordial memory of what was lost to us in the Garden—
that we begin to ***** idols for ourselves.

Unconsciously we hope they might restore to us a taste of paradise,
taking away our fear and shame and isolation.
We yearn to go back but, alas, we cannot get in from there.
We ache to connect to beauty, to be desired by it as much as we desire it,
and Jesus is the only door by which we may enter.
He is the Beauty, and all the rest are simply there like pealing bells
to arouse our hearts to Him and tell us that He is coming for us.

Still, as if we haven’t quite yet heard and believed the message, we keep
aimlessly trying to forge a false righteousness through our false gods.
When they are lost or the dreams of them unrealized we are devastated,
for the shadows, echoes and reflections we had supposed would finally
make us feel good about ourselves have been exposed as frauds,
and once again we are left to feel naked but without fig leaves to cover us.

It is at these precise moments, when the bottom of our false hope falls out,
that we are best prepared to encounter Christ in His intimate
fullness and most apt to recognize at last that He alone is
everything we have been so desperately wanting.
It is our boiling point, where the unbearable weight
of failed expectation so crashes in on us that we are finally
begging God to lift our idols off of us and deliver us from them,
pleading with Him to come and capture us,
crying out to Him to possess us fully.
~~~
CAM Feb 2018
It's been a while.
Since I wrote a poem.
But not since I wrote about you.

I write about you all the time.
Every once in a while,
I forget why.

Then I remember why.
I remember you,
Or I see a picture.

I see your blond hair.
Your blue eyes.
You're the reason I have a type.

I think of your adventure,
And your shyness,
And your varying range of emotion.

I think of all these
Random memories,
Floating around in my head.

Like ping pong.
And capture the flag.
Like long flaring lights and computer bags.

Like fire escapes,
And hiding under tables,
Like missing you in winter with eyelashes like a fable.

Like long walks in the dark,
And hidden dark handkerchiefs with white polka dots.
Like plaid checkered jackets, even when it's hot.

Like cargo shorts and a white fedora.
Gathering under the arch like it's an agora.
Hiding that handkerchief between the flora.

God, I miss you more and more.
Months til I see you,
I'm down to only a few before.

I almost can't wait,
It makes me feel sad.
The fact that I'd leave,
Just like that.

Just so I could see you again.

It's Valentine's Day
And I'm here without you.
And I wish more than anything,
For that to not be true.
Argh. Oh. Now I'm a pirate.
So update: I recommended this site to the person this is about and now I'm terrified of him reading it.
Stuck
Behind the scenes
Hidden
In the closet
It’s all the same
I’m stuck
No one supports me
The real me
The one I can only show friends
I don’t want to hide it
Not from my family
But I have to
They wouldn’t understand
They’d just say “I’m being selfish”
Or “I don’t understand”
But I’m not dumb
I understand everything perfectly
I know who I am
And who I like
No one can change that
Hopefully people will accept me
For me
Maybe I won’t have to hide
I can finally be true
Unlike most people
It’s relaxing
Finally knowing
Who I am
The mystery is solved
I know me
Who I am was finally
Revealed
I wrote this about me realizing that I’m a bigender pansexual.
Ciel Dec 2018
And when you finally let me go,
Will there be burns where your hands use to be?
Will I crumble to pieces without you holding me?
Or will my wings finally have enough space to spread
and carry me away?
Path Humble Jun 2018
left my phone unlocked
on the taxi’s back seat,
won't be the last time

called it a few times
finally, the driver picked up

he had a fare immediately after mine,
and was now headed way downtown,
and would call later
when fate returned him nearer my office

and so it came to pass,
very shortly thereafter,

we met on the street,
he rolled down  the window
and with the greatest smile of pleasure,
as if he had won the lottery
beaming,
handed me my phone

I had two $20's to cover any expense he might have incurred,
neatly folded in my hand  
and offered it right up, right away;
but the driver repeatedly pushed my hand away
as I insisted,
saying:

"No sir, no no, not necessary!

Allah sent me a fare
that took me soon back close to you, so,
  no loss of time did I suffer,
so your offer is kindly unnecessary!"


to which I replied,

"exactly!
Allah sent you to me
so I could reward you!"


and with an equally, beaming smile continued,

"our ride and meeting today,
together was pre-ordained it was


Inshallah!" ^

something he could not dispute...
or his amazement, disguise...

  we parted ways
   each believing,
   each receiving
a heavenly check plus,
each, credited with a mitzvah^^
on our
respective trip logs,
our humanly divine balance sheets,
kept by the
single
supreme taxi dispatcher
Arabic for ^"God/Allah willing" or "if God/Allah wills," frequently spoken by a Muslim


^^a meritorious or charitable act in the Jewish tradition

FYI,
NYC taxi cab drivers are suffering economically by the explosion of ride hailing app cars, many unable to pay their bills, earn a living, have committed suicide over the past few months
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sixth-new-york-city-cab-driver-dies-suicide-after-struggling-n883886

true story, poetry is there for the taking
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