I awoke in the night and felt your back against mine Was this some sort of sign, some distance I couldn't explain? Or was this a self-perceived storm in the making constructed from nothing that was real? The darkness took comfort in those nights we spent back to back Ticking, ticking, ticking- Searching for an outlet, even forging one out of our lack of subconscious physical attachment, trying to create a wedge
The wedge served as an object that would separate my vulnerability from reality Creaking across my temples and finding solitude in the destruction of everything I held dear, you.
As time went on, naturally that wedge became an abyss and every night I fell hundreds of feet over and- over again- until my heart shrank into a thread. The feeling of uncontrollable anxious behaviors began to manifest in my chest There it remained- digging around to find its home, once more In my adolescent insecure tendencies
You were the crisp fresh air I breathed in Awakening my soul Clean and bearing no weight I effortlessly inhaled you Taking you in Embracing you and everything about you Chilled by your presence Sending goosebumps down my spine You were the opening of my eyes
But at the same time
You were the foggy air I breathed in Suppressing my soul Foul with a hefty weight Choking as i tried to force you out Slowly extinguishing me Avoiding you and everything about you Sickened by your presence Forcing me to stop breathing You are the sludge coating my lungs