why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
dirty sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me
Eric Pon Feb 2017
He was always too good to me,
I never understood
why he let me take all,
that I possibly could.
so in my sleep and when I wake,
my heavy heart still tends to ache.
For him and me and all I feel,
for worlds we contrived,
convinced they were real .
Now in sorrow and insight,
sickness and pain,
sleep or insomnia,
with guilt and with shame:
I admit to defeat and begin my descent,
both feet in the air and face on cement,
All the damage is done now- how I'm alone but I'm free-
how no one compares,
He was too good to me.
I am just myself Feb 2017
I don't like being alone.
Rays of kitchen light,
Beaming down on lime flavored tortilla chips,
With mild salsa,
That's still,
Too hot!

Or cheap tea,
Flavored with lemon and crystalizing honey,

I do not like being alone,
Stacking,
Molasses cookies,
On my shaky finger tips,

I do not like being alone!
Shaky, shaky,
Three,
Round plates,
Stacked on top of one another,
And I'm not saying I have a standard,
eating disorder,
But when I am depressed,
And,
Alone,
I just,
Don't,
Get,
FULL.

No I don't think I'm fat,
I love my body,
And I'm not over weight,

But my stomach,
Is the new home,
To the black hole in my mind,
It's fine,
I say,

You don't know how many plates today,

And it's not every day,

But I find myself stealing snacks,
The way people steal kisses,

Enjoying meals hot or cold,
Instead of going in the snow,

For if i lept into turning waters,
Like people leap for love,

Or if my mind,
Got that black back,
Transferred from my stomach,
You,
Wouldn't be the only thing crushing.
The best is the last bit.
Wishful thoughts float inside a pretty melody
Sullen voices pour the silky wine for me
This darken red fills me
And your absence will drown me

The stool in which I sit
Has a deep impression
As if my ass were made for it
The feel of my glass is wet
As my breast is set
heaving with regret

Have you ever felt my sorrow?
Has someone ever broken what was borrowed?
Holding clutching then crushing
A delicate flower

This hollow withers still
No matter how much wine I fill
No matter how many tears are spilt
No matter really, if time can heal

Because agian this feel will rise
Above the sunny beauty of life
Its burrowed in deep
Depriving of sleep
Holding and clutching then claiming
My keep

If I see you again, with hope in your face
If we pass by, the same little place
Please remember our laughs and forget the mistakes
For my hallowling heart needs
to mend from its breaks
Heartbreaks, cut deep
python 5d
His best friend was his subconscious
To request an audience with his accomplice
Loneliness he had to accept, alone he was,
I digress. Nevertheless, he kept his pain in silence
Feeling trapped in his own head, like a mental asylum
Instead of unconcealing the sorrow
He kept things unsaid, so his state of mind would remain unread
And would embed the notion that life has stopped dead
And would endlessly pray for a better tomorrow
If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?
If not, is a lonesome man who is crying in pain not exist because no one is around?
The thought of waking up to another day of isolation
Drowning in his misery, he needs help to breathe
Rehabilitation would be as simple as love and attention
To help give this man a life where he can believe
thejohnags Jul 6
you're lost in the wild
you don't know where you are,
you don't know what to do,
so you're dying in the dark.

you're looking for a trace
you're looking for a place,
but all you get is this maze
you should've seen your face
you got burned, got cornered
no turns, just liars.

and when you try to seek out the exit,
you find the monsters in your closet
smiling, waiting, hungry to dive in
you can run, but you can't hide
you can try, but you'll be found

so you're lonely in the streets,
you've been sleeping there, no sheets
you're looking for a mirror, looking for a lover,
looking for a mother, looking for a savior,
but you're alone, child.
but are you lone, child?
are you gonna cry now? be brave child.

the time is ticking
the game you're playing,
it's never ending,
but try to win it.

you say you're fine,
but you hope with fright.
you curse your life,
cuz it's killing you with pride.

the door is open,
but it says closed
your heart is breaking,
but you got no one to hold.

so you hold onto your dreams:
bright, and thriving lights, NYC
but is it worth it? can you chase it?
can you catch it? or miss all of it?

you sit in the corner of the bed
you're thinking about life, you're thinking about death
you're thinking about your friends, you're thinking about your family
when you thought of yourself, you thought of yourself lastly.

you sit and think about living
what to do to learn? what to do to earn?
how to keep up the pace?
how to dance in the rain?
and why are you lonely in this sick, crazy game?

so you wake up in the streets
the air is warm, so you smile, and you breathe
looking for dime, looking for a rhyme,
looking for more time, looking for your prime

looking for a flower,
looking for a paper,
cuz that is what you're best at:
painting words then you're a goner.
Dathan 6d
Greetings to the lonely. It's to you whom I speak and you only. I know you.  I am you.
Depression so low with it's valleys and peaks.
It's for you that I choose to speak

If I could get better,
oh if only dear lonelys
These valleys, they plummet so deep
Crying for our mothers, to whom we're never out of reach.
They're love, ever so blinding to see why we weep
Caught up in our vices, dragging our feet
We can't stay with the pack, disregarded in fact
Wishing and praying, they might eventually turn back
They seldom realize that it's love that we lack
It's them that we need, our reason to breathe
Ill thoughts we sow, contention we reap
Constantly digging our graves by thinking these mountains too steep
Our true fight lies in our minds
Living facades, we make the healthy our gods
If I could be like them
Free from sin, away from the despair that we live in
We trade blessings for lessons
Yet our anger left festering
Our hearts once burning with love and affection
Now ashes and dust
We carry on cause we must

A Cold reality, forced to ponder morality
Dissecting divinity from fallacies
Yet you expect us to carry on happily?
This life sentence has turned us to tragedies
Yes. We weep. But not for the reasons you think
We seek solace and peace, still the journey is bleak
Falling into the  gray confines of our mind
We will never see peace in our hearts
Long deserted, life is perverted
Reputations, besmerched
Our outlook is cursed
To exist and then die, to see joy then cry
There is no medium, no reason to try

I know you dear lonelys
For you and you only
Wipe those tears from your eyes
There is more to life than rainy days
Together we fly, Arise from this haze
Look to the skies, we call the plays
We need only try, re light the fires
Set our hearts back ablaze
Rediscover the passion
Capture the love we were lacking
Together dear lonelies
We'll see better days
We have a unique perspective
Let us own it, we'll make them respect it
we are the collective, we'll never neglect it
I love you dear lonelys
Remember it's not
You and you only
This poem is the reason I found this community.  Nobody I sent it to would give any feedback. Made me feel, well lonely.
-JCM- 5d
Is it desperation
Is it realization
Is it weakness
That brings me here
Can it be my initials
To settle in the concrete
Can I get away
Before it cements

-JCM-
It is the darkest place one can go to alone,
A solitary journey I want to disown.
An every day battle against the same old foe,
But the enemy fights back with brutal blows.
It creeps up on you in your vulnerable state,
It springs from the darkness, where it lay in wait.
Thoughts in your mind begin to carousel.
Then drag you to your private hell.
Nightmares and ghosts from deep in your past
Serve as the turmoil you can't outlast.
At last sleep comes like a welcomed friend,
Until you wake, the lonely war begins again.
Freddie Ruiz May 29
Sometimes I feel I don't belong here or anywhere
and I feel it’s already taking me too long to belong somewhere.

Sometimes I feel so surrounded I get heavy-hearted,
but that’s a heavy load to carry and a lonely road to be left stranded.

Sometimes I feel like I’m never gonna get there, but I gotta get there.
Maybe I’m almost there and I just haven’t realized it yet.

Can you send me someone to guide me
or is the journey I’m supposed to travel the one in front of me?
Written on June 23, 2011
Composition number: 387
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