Commissar Dumbrov of The Red Republican Army at his desk
Grego, Grego , what is happening with the Regal in the Gulag
Is he mad yet, has he hanged himself and committed suicide
No Commissar, he is writing poetry and growing fat like a pig
Are you crazy, this is a bloody Revolution, not fucking poetry class
Did you not put him through the program.
We did Commissar, we hounded and tormented him, we persuaded his wife to break his heart, we fully destroyed his career, we isolated him, we ruined him financially, we made the proletariat hate him,
we taunted him and provoked him everywhere, we scandalized his name and reputation, we bugged him, we oppressed him, we bullied him, we made him friendless, we invaded his privacy, we mocked him and depressed him, we tried to confuse him, we mix him up. we harassed him with noise, we've terrorize him we've done everything and more. he has not been with a woman for 20 years.
AND HE'S WRITING POETRY, what a pack of fucking fools you are, that's the trouble with you bloody Proletariat, you have no brains, must be all the bloody gruel you lot eat, your fucking brains didn't develop properly, all you fucking know is how to be dirty and violent, any wonder these Elitists see you as nothing but animals. that great Leader of the Revolution wrote, I forget his name now, he wrote that the best and only way to deal with these Elitists is to attack their minds, fuck up their bloody brains, make them paranoid and fearful. drive them crazy, turn them into jabba labba locos, dribbling at the mouth locos crazy,
We tried Commissar, we did all the things to make this happen, we spent a lot of time and effort on this, we used all the grape-vines and contacts we have, we even threw the Kitchen sink at him. So far, nothing.
You threw the fucking Kitchen sink at him, what's that for, the Kitchen sink belongs to the State, its not meant to be thrown at fucking Elitist Dissidents.
Its a manner of speech, Commissar.
Now you are a Comedian, are you, a fucking Revolution is going on, we are creating a Classless Society and Equality for all and you are making stupid jokes!
No Commissar, I mean we utilized all resources so far, we have continually harassed him, we have created so much disappointments, betrayals, let-downs, frustrations for him, but he still remains calm, stoical, composed, dignified, erudite and sane.
maybe its true that these people are a different breed. Its frustrating for us and quite honestly, embarrassing!.
Shut up, are you saying he's some sort of Regal Rasputin, even that bloody one, we got in the end, now you're saying this one is bullet-proof. Have you tried Advanced Slander, spread the nastiest rumors about him. So bad to make him take his own life. Who was it that said, “Show me the man and I'll show you the crime”
It was Comrade Beria, Commissar. Yes Commissar, we have framed him many times and made thumped up allegations against him. We have done all that Commissar, we even said he walks like John Wayne or a broken crab.
Who is this John Wayne, are you a time-traveler now?
Have you tried spreading the rumor that he goes to the Cementry at night and sleep with dead women, he digs up.
No Commissar, I don't think even the stupidest Proletariat would believe that one.
Have you tried spreading a rumour he has sex with a dog.
Commissar Natashavo hasn't been anywhere near him, Commissar
Are you being funny again, Grego
So what is happening right now with our Mr Invincible Elitist Poet Romanov or whatever his name is, the MAN that you fucking useless Republican comrades, can't drive mad or make commit suicide, a simple thing, that we have done thousands of times. Why is it that when we do these things to those Class-traitor Proletariat, they die or go raving mad loco coo coo within six months.
The Proletariat are brainless cowards Commissar, they can dish it out but they can't take it, Commissar, that's why its so easy for us Senior Members of the Po-lit-Bureau to manipulate and control them. As regards our MAN we are still actively harassing him, we are presently mixing him up again, mentally and doing voice to skull tactics with him. We also make sure he remains frozen in a time warp. This is useful in allowing us to demonstrate to the imbecilic Proletariat that we are powerful and can control people and events, this makes sure they realize our capabilities and might and of course, fosters espirit de corps. It keeps them all in line.
Well that's good thinking Grego, yes, that's good, as regards our Poet, why don't we just blast off his balls.
We did Commissar, but he grew bigger ones!
Are you being funny again, Grego, do you want to be sent to the Gulag in Siberia to keep the Poet company.
No, Commissar, I have a date tonight with Commissar Natashavo!