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Wangui Jul 23
What happens when you fall apart? When you truly cannot see eye to eye again? When you cannot explain how you ended up screaming at each other? When saying am sorry cannot work anymore? What happens?
You know they say love is something to fight for. That you should not give up if you truly believe in each other. They also say that if you love something you have to let it go and if it belongs to you it will come back. So which is which? Which saying do i follow? How helpess must i be for love to work for me again?
Sometimes i can't even take time to breath. It feels like sin. Both of us seem to hurt. One more than the other. Love is like that someone feels it more than the other. There was a time we were inseperable. Like sea to salt now we are like sea to sky. I want to say we are both at fault. That is what she said.
I was afraid of loosing people once. Loosing them to the world. I was afraid of that. Not anymore. People leave anyway whether you want them to stay or not. Fact is no one really stays.
Someone told me once that you should strive to understand more than to be understood. I feel that now.
There so many things i would like to say her. Things i feel she did to me that are not fair but what person would i be if i did?
There is no victory in foolish blame neither is there saving with a heart that is filled with anger and hatred. You must do it with love. I will try.

Love is forgiveness and compassion. I am glad someone told me this.


Yours,
The Red_Head
i wrote this for my once best friend.
S       I found myself on a sheer rock face of desperate desire.
H      Holding on to her presence, in the danger of my devotion.
E       But I lost my grip. I missed a step
and my heart skipped a beat.
E       Then she was gone...
R      And I was loose! Plunging, caught by a force of nature.
R      White noise filled my ears and dread filled my heart.
O      In the grip of a primal panic, a terrible cry shattered the sky.
C      Her face faded away and I was left reaching for a line --
K      Trying to avoid the rocks below.
F       I tried to find some way back up the mountain.
A      I clutched for the breath in my lungs,
C      The breath that was there before I fell;
E       That moment skipped over,
F       When I lost my grip and you were gone.
A      I carry the pain inside, searching for release.
L       But life goes on and on, day by day.
L       Outside, I am quiet, I hold a steady gaze.
L       But inside, the scars grind like metal on metal,
O      Between a rock and a hard place,
V      Until the edge within becomes razor cold.
E       Like a steely blade inside a silken sheath,
H      The knife buried beneath, poised to draw blood,
O      When the balance is tipped, the pressure too much.
P       Will I crash on jagged agony below or will I let go the dagger,
E       To reclaim the climb? To reach again and find her face, aloft...
Yup, this was the big one. The all-time heart break of my life, circa 1986. Just obliterated, shattered, vaporized me. I am still trying to find my way back up.
Ashari Ty Jul 25
If it wasn't for a beating
I wouldn't have fallen
And felt how soft grass could be

I wouldn't have seen
How opportunities are
As wide as the sky

I wouldn't have noticed
How sunlight can still
Seek around the tree leaves

I wouldn't have thought
How stars are way greater
Than what's in most's visions

I wouldn't have realized
How many one can
Learn from defeat
Defeat is just a process. You might as well embrace its existence. ;>
Kamblamian Aug 13
I'm not as self but as something new.

Golfer man and she knew you

But I never knew that she was who

The one who invented the love of you

And now that aside here I am

Squish sardine pressed into a can

The man who wrote the man I knew

Well I gave him away in spite of food

And now the longing for the words I wish

The words that I so dearly Miss
Confessional poetry
grace snoddy Dec 2017
regret.
i regret letting you in.

love will always start with illusion.
and i fell in love with
the mirage you displayed.
i told myself that
the person i fell in love with
was still there.
that is why i stuck around

for so long.

for so long i believed that you still loved me
as much as the sun loved the sky.
even when you said you didn’t,
even when your voice didn’t feel like

home.

home was late night conversations.
home was your laugh ringing in my ears.
but what was once the house we loved in,
it is now dominated by ghosts.

it has been 8 months.
i still

regret.
i regret letting you in.
ashton May 14
I didn't choose it
I didn't wake up one day and tell myself
let's be anxious
let's be depressed
let's want to die
let's start self harming
I didn't choose to be like this

slowly my problems
my monsters
became visible
they started small
skipping lunch
making a cut or two on my hand
shaking for a while in school
but I fell

I didn't choose to be this person.
We just get handed who we are.
I didn't choose this.
I never wanted to be that

I didn't want to be riddled with anxiety and insecurities,
to wallow in self-pity and sleep for hours everyday
to stay up all night with anxiety
to steal razors
to eat one-hundred calories and then barf it back up
but that's what happened.

I didn't choose this
I didn't choose
I didn't choose to tear apart my life.
it just
happened
I'm really good right now but in a reflective state currently oof
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