Oh my beloved,
I am heartily sorry for not being the man you needed
and I detest myself,
because I fear the loss of love and the pains of regretness,
but most of all, because I love you,
and I want so badly to be the right man for you.
It’s so erotic the way she crawls into me
and how my temperature rises right up under my skin.
She’s so forbidden, yet I can’t control my feelings.
Why does something so wrong bring on strong feelings?
It’s taking over my whole body.
What sort of thing has been awaken in me?
The floor’s shaking in the speed of an earthquake.
My mind is sinning, I don’t think I can refrain myself from it.
I got a craving building up in me
like a burning flame creeping through every vein in me.
I’m drunk by her scent, her very presence is intoxicating.
At this point, neither you nor anyone can stop this feeling.
The sound of loud music is not as loud as my heart beat.
My conscience is telling me to be discreet, but my heart is telling me to not retreat.
There’s something exciting yet dangerous about wanting her.
This is either good going bad or bad getting badder.
I know I shouldn’t behave this way,
I know carnal desires won’t make sinful thoughts go away.
I know a troubled conscience won’t let me be.
I don’t deserve you, but please, my love, forgive me!
Written on June 29, 2013
Composition number: 450