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Twigzy Jul 2017
10th July 2017

To My Husband

As I watch your life, slipping away
We share all the things we want to say

We have time to reflect, encourage and love
To be grateful with warmth, to look beyond and above

We remember the good and laugh at the bad
And take time to listen and embrace the sad

It is a rich time, this time that we have
What has been, what is now, is what will be had

As your strength fades, and your eyes slowly dim
We look beyond the body you are in

When death approaches and your final breath taken
We know your spirit, will soar with elation

You will look at this world and say your goodbyes
And peace will take you as you pass through the sky’s

All the best for your journey
Your loving wife
My husband was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer we only had a few months to say goodby and make peace. It was the richest time of our marriage
Pieces of me
thrown away
like trash
Never consulted
Never asked
The direct result
of another’s conviction
or more commonly seen
consequences
from blind ambition

Paranoid
The fix is in
But no invitation
for me,
former me
or forever me
and all of my imitations
beset by my
limitations

Forwardly I lean
step in between
lines upon lines
hidden;
can’t be seen
The trappings of
its machine
Fall ill
From my vein;
blood I spill

A still surface
with sticky sheen
amber tones
from which
I glean
A reason
Thrilled
What it might mean
A hunger
that
can not be filled

Nothing but lies
giving me chills
A shell
with values
not instilled
Instead
it’s dread
Their words
I’m fed
Nutrients
to fill my head

My outer skin
Its layer
thin
Not to attacks
No single act
or prayer
could patch
and fill it in
A hole
that’s black
is my first sin

A game
in which
no way to win
and no ending
once it
begins
With opened eyes
begin to see
The dorsal fins
surrounding me

Head starts
to spin
What could have been?
It doesn't matter
In the end
Because
there's nothing
here for me
A demon-like reality

Where what you seek
Placed at your feet
The icing; sweet
Choices; not three
Have cake or eat
One choice not two
But want to eat
and have it too

All efforts
to retrieve the treat;
An outcome that
ends in defeat
A princess swept
off of her feat
But this feature
princess;
a creature
Spirit of
a soulless seeker

Deceitful speaker
Flames;
he’ll eat ya
Offers pain
Can’t heal;
life drained
Then reaching out
to use
life-line
but with each ring
hope further wanes

An answered call
done just in time
The chills
running all down my spine
Stand tall
just like Douglas-fir pine
With racing thoughts
filling my mind
I will be saved
Free from it all
*** must exist
No time to stall
In battle
warriors
may fall
but no man's ever left behind

Only to find
With said spent dime
A dynamite kind of answer
-
A type
that might
cause strife
Can't plan for
Needed answer
Plight
like cancer
New chance to live
Worldly romancer
On planet Earth
A tiny dancer

A romantic thought
to think
fight fought
Instead a sinking ship
just dropped
This life?
If could
an ‘OUT’
would opt
No more
can take
Just make
it stop
Written: April 17, 2018

All rights reserved.
GreenTrees May 2017
In the dry cracked walls
Behind the dry rot
Below the slithering bellies

Where the earth turns death into life.

Soothed by the warmth of decay.

Tendrils of sorrow reaching deeper

Into that place in side my soul that has died

Where I silently scream breathlessly.

Time has stopped and the hands of time cover her face
Timidly peering out,
To one day see the sun again
Tatiana Nov 2014
I'm suffocating.
But I don't need your help,
I can handle my throat closing,
no don't call 911,
there's no reason to.

I'm choking.
But I don't need your help,
I can handle the mucus that blocks my throat,
I can spit it up just fine,
so just keep on walking.

I'm coughing.
But I don't need your help,
I can handle myself doubled over in pain,
with my chest hurting as I try to sit up straight,
so just ignore me hacking up a lung.

I'm breathing.
But I don't need your help,
I can handle hyperventilation without my inhaler,
I don't have to breathe properly to live,
so thanks for just leaving me on the floor.

I'm dying.
But I don't need your help,
it's not like I have no energy to get my inhaler,
you can totally just run out of the room panicking,
it's not like i'm scared too or anything.

I'm angry.
And for some reason,
you can't figure out why.
So leave me alone.
I'm fine now.
I can handle myself.
I don't need your help.
I'm changing the caption 4 years later because it was very angry and I don't carry that same level of anger anymore towards that person.
Except in reference to asthma
Then I'm quite angry
Asthma *****
corpser May 9
The night has been long and it has been as hot as the night before. I’ve been sweating like a pig, sick with a ******* feeling down my throat everytime i swallow my spit. I got up and tried to make myself some tea. One only remembers to drink tea when one is sick.
After squeezing the lemons in, I immediately downed a shot of the thing and felt it punch whatever it was that was swelling in my throat.
When I put it back down I noticed a single dying ant in the table. It has been separated from its colony, and must have fallen off a wall somewhere. I remember  around 5pm or 4pm the afternoon before this, that I had bugsprayed a long line of ants gathering up the kitchen. The weather hasnt been well this time of year and it has been ******* up the natural behavior of ants. The poor ******* probably thought it was going to rain. But it didnt, and the only rain that came for them was death and that rain came from me.
So I thought to myself, if this guy’s been here since 5pm he has been struggling for 10 hours and 50 minutes to live. This is one mighty ant. And giving it a closer look, the ****** was pretty huge for his size as well. It was still alive, willing itself back to existence. Beaten and bloodied but unbowed, it earned my respect.
But there was no way this ant was going to make it back to his colony. Its lower body was not functioning anymore. The only thing he has is his wits and three to four flailing arms. His body cannot contain his will and so, being the better being in the situation I had to put him down.
Squeezed the life and the fight out of him at my fingertips and flung it back to the floor where it has been its whole life.
I took another gulp from the tea I had made but there was no punch in my throat anymore. No scalding hot no stinging sting just the sewage water tasting taste of a tea that has gone cold.
I went back to bed and still the swelling devil in my throat hasnt gone. I will get no sleep tonight of that I am sure. Still, I close my eyes and pretend to sleep.
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