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2.2k · Oct 2018
is this the end
Kee Oct 2018
trying not to tumble
in a world with so many obstacles
makes it a thousand times harder
but it makes you strong
at what cost?
destroying every bit of you
until there's almost nothing left
only for you to say 'at least i made it out alive
is that any better than being dead
at least then you won't have to remember
1.8k · Apr 2017
Make Up.
Kee Apr 2017
you can't help but stare
and stare
and stare
until you hate everything about your face
how many freckles you have
it can only cover the scars for so long
the insecurities for so long
lips coated in thick red
eyes you coat with liner and eye shadow
face caked with foundation
baked with powder
contoured to the gods
eyebrows on fleek
you slay
sometimes you don't recognize yourself in the mirror
and it makes you happy because you can't imagine living the rest of your life looking you without make-up.
will you ever love you?
you, without the makeup?
I wear make-up myself and 100% understand that some people wear because they want to and not because they're insecure about their faces. but, there are A LOT who do wear make-up bc they are insecure, and bullied, and just don't want to look like them anymore. i was like this, i kind of still am. it's hard to get over, and sometimes you can't.
1.8k · Mar 2017
Kee Mar 2017
i know you still cry at night
and tell us  lies, because you need to hide
but i see everything
i see your true colors
not the black and blood red you show
but your greens and oranges
they burst with love
yet, you hide them.
you hide yourself.
from us?
or from  you?
1.6k · Oct 2018
Kee Oct 2018
poking at his rib cage
i thought of all of the wonderful times
ive spent with him
not knowing that this would be my last time poking his rib cage
i smiled and laughed in his face
he loved me the way i loved me
or so i thought
and the betrayal finally set in
when the messages stopped flowing in
and the block on all of social media shocked me as well
until my friend had shown that while you were studying abroad
you were going steady with a beautiful french girl
1.6k · Dec 2015
I like, but I don't like.
Kee Dec 2015
i like apples
but i don't like apple pies
i like cheese
but i don't want it on my fries
i like school
but do you really think i would do if i had to?
i like you
but i don't like your attitude
are you understanding my logic?
i won't like this because it correlates with this or it's combined with that
**i like what i like, and that's that.
1.5k · Mar 2015
Do you still want to answer?
Kee Mar 2015
Dark brown eyes,
bushy eyebrows,
chubby face,
round nose,
fat figure,
crooked-chipped teeth
My worst insecurities.
Plastic surgery crosses my mind and how it would feel to be
The girl everyone wants.
"Looks aren't everything."
Oh really?
Then who are the ones that are most popular in the music industry,
Movies, modeling?
Answer that if you would like,
but before you tell me, "looks aren't everything."
Let me ask you why tall, dark, and handsome would never go for a girl like me.
Do you still want to answer?
1.3k · Nov 2018
my edge
Kee Nov 2018
My edge
My straight edge
Cuts deep
And doesn’t want to let go
My straight edge
Loves to make you remember everything
But she wants you to forget too
My straight edge
Loves a game
And she’ll play it with you
My straight edge
Is a force to be reckoned
My straight edge
Is my worst nightmare
And paradise from hell
My straight edge
Is many things
But never has she left me
1.1k · Jun 2015
Kee Jun 2015
I know that I'll never be enough for you.
It hurts,
Because your everything I want.
I want you.
You don't want me.
I wouldn't walk a thousand miles
But I'd tell you my deepest secrets.
I'd trust you
But would you trust me?
Could you trust me?
Could I be your everything and more?
Why can't you see that I still like you?
That I still hold on.
That I'm here.
You gave up on me.
You let me go and I don't even know why.
You continued to fly while I kept falling
Then I hit the ground.
I realized that you weren't coming to save me.
I realized that you stopped.
You stopped being my everything.
Never coming back.
Now I'm alone.
1.1k · Mar 2017
You Are My Everything
Kee Mar 2017
The good, the bad, everything.
When you were happy, sad, mad, flat out numb from the acid.
I loved it. I loved you, all of you.
What I loved the most about you was your smile.
It was lopsided and dorky, you teeth weren't perfect but I loved them anyways.
And your light brown eyes hung low, you looked like a predator.
But the only thing you killed were my sides because you were tickling me.
And I know it sounds cliche but I don't care,
You were my everything.
Those times you held me when I cried, you were my everything.
When you made me smile, you were my everything.
Watching the re-runs of Family Guy and throwing popcorn at each other, you were my everything.
God, even when we screamed and yelled at each other, you were my everything.
Even when we made love and I lit a cigarette after and you called it 'gross' but you'd snort up a line so quickly it was insane...
You were my everything and even though you've left me behind and you'll never me able to come back to me...
Able to kiss me, hold me, yell at me, even just touch me
Hi! So this piece right here came to me when i was walking home from school today. It's about a wife giving her eulogy to her late husband. i think im saying this right probably not but it's supposed to be sad and happy all at the same time. you can love a person so much that you hate them, but in the end you'll still smile because you'll never regret loving them. it kind of sounds like he's broken up with her but he's died, from what? i don't know, it just came to me. i hope you like it! Follow me for more :)
1.0k · Mar 2017
Kee Mar 2017
A life I never asked for
A life I'm forced to live
But a life nonetheless, right?
My scars scattered across my body
My eyes dull
My heart empty
My soul... soul less?
But a life nonetheless, right?
Father and mother dropped me off at my grandma's and never came back
She's had me since I was 3
She died working to support me
And now it's back to back in foster homes
Sometimes they're nice, other times...
very, very bad.
And on to the next I go
But a life nonetheless, right?
I'm at the top of my class and skipped ahead a year
But I'm called an overachiever
My intelligence isn't great anymore
Talent isn't great anymore
Just trying isn't great anymore
You just don't
You give up before anything can happen so they can never say 'you're not only letting others down, but yourself'
But a life nonetheless,  right?
A life nonetheless.
A life.
This *valued, precious life.
I'm going to be making this into a series! It's going to be called but a life nonetheless, right? This first one is called Orphan. Well... because it's the life of an orphan.  This is all fiction and from my mind, so I'm trying my best to  put myself in their shoes.
To go more into this poem. It's the label Orphan because I don't want names, you don't really need them. You know that this is about an orphan. What an orphan might go through, might not go through. What they feel, their past lives, etc. No matter what the label has been given to them, they are still a person.  
Knowing a little bit of who they are and leaving off on a cliff hanger is fun, so the reader can make up their own ending for this poem, for this orphan, this person.
1.0k · Dec 2017
Heartbreak pt. 1
Kee Dec 2017
I used to like you, a lot.
My heart soared when you called my phone
My eyes bulged when you texted me five years later
And you called me gorgeous
Something I’ve heard so many times but it only mattered when
You said it
To me
And I thought that those feelings were gone
And I suddenly can’t tell if it’s because you’re back or if they never went away
I’m missing you
But at the same time I’ve forgotten everything we did
It’s like I pushed it to the back of mind
And somehow it got lost
And it’s come all back to haunt me
My brain hurts
With those feelings
From 2013
Because the feelings I have for you now
In 2017
Don’t feel the same
So should I even try?
Where’s your head?
Why can’t you focus?
Why can’t you decide?
Why won’t you just understand
That he’s not it
And you’re better off alone
He’s just a reminder of everything
You could never be
Someone’s lover
Someone’s everything
993 · Jun 2015
A Rose.
Kee Jun 2015
The red leaves fall off
But the thorns remains strong
It ****** your skin and watches you bleed
It enjoys the dripping
The dripping of your blood
Your soul
You should be.
These thorns were meant for
pricking the soul and *nothing above it.
970 · Aug 2018
You, you, you and I.
Kee Aug 2018
You don’t love me back
You don’t love me the way I love you
You don’t love me at all
It hurts to say it but that’s the truth
You don’t love me
Everything about you excites me
But you don’t find anything about me exciting
Doesn’t help that I’m thousands of miles away
One of the reasons why we couldn’t be
Someone across the country had cheated on you
And it broke you so bad
That you couldn’t love me
But there was always a “just wait for me”
“You’ll have my kids”
“We’ll be married”
And all these things that meant something then
But nothing now
And we both knew
What it would end up being
Everything that came out of your mouth was a lie
You never loved me
You never said it
But I thought I felt it
And I loved you too
Too hard
And it broke me so bad
That I still loved you
I just couldn’t love me anymore
And sometimes I think I still do
Sometimes I don’t feel it
And sometimes it’s all too much
Still stuck on the same person from years before
Why can’t I just take the rejection
And let it go
Why can’t I just be alone
904 · Jun 2015
The Real You?
Kee Jun 2015
You stole my heart and made it warm
The freezing temperature was starting to get old
You filled the hole
The hole no one could fill
You made me love
You made me love you
I started to trust you
Even though I didn't know you
I didn't know you
But you knew me
And that's was wrong
You were hiding your identity
The person I wanted to love was hiding inside
While you only showed me the other guy
The other part of you
The part that tricked me
Oh, how I wish
I knew the *real you.
822 · Jul 2015
Kee Jul 2015
Our relationship is like Trivia
Continuously spitting questions just to figure out your emotions
"How do you feel this day?"
"Are you comfortable talking to me?"
"Do you feel angry?"
"Oh, I'm not finna do this!"
"Attitude, bye!"

I just wanted to see if your alright.
I guess not.
755 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
The first time my lips touched a cigarette,
I cringed at the taste but I ****** and puffed the toxins anyways.
It was menthol.
I didn't know what that meant.
I didn't care.
I just wanted to be cool with my friends.
They were 14,
I was 12.
'Mature for my age'.
I had fitted in.
But was smoking that cigarette really, really worth it?
I haven't talked to those 'friends' in 6 years.
750 · Apr 2017
Kee Apr 2017
Will you remember me?
My smile, my teeth, the feel of my lips?
Or my laugh?
The way I held your hand?
I always made sure our pinkies were wrapped together.
How about the first time I told you I loved you?
Will you remember any of it?
I know we ended five months ago but I can't help but to want you still.
And hope that you want me too.
Do you remember the time that we snuck into the grocery store at 5 am and ate all of their kisses?
We threw up all day after that.
But, it was with you, so it was worth it.
Oh, there's the time when we made love on top of your roof.
It was cold, but you made me warm.
You told me you loved me right after.
I hung onto those words.
I still do.
Will you do any of these things with her?
Will she make you squirt a vanilla milkshake out of your nose like I did?
Do you lose yourself in her the way you did with me?
Did she become you, and you, her?
Was there a time when you couldn't tell the difference, because you two were so alike?
We loved each other for three years and although you're ready to let go, i'm not.
I miss you.
Wrote this in the library during school. Had half of it sitting in my journal though.
688 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
my feet are pounding the ground
but it feels like im flying
my heart is beating like drums
but i can't feel it at all
all i know is that im a few steps away from freedom
can my feet take me there?
maybe i can leap to it
i can't fail
i need this
i need to be free
i want my own air in my lungs
no, not want
i need
i need to be free
in economics class
mr. gardner is talking too much
678 · Nov 2018
Kee Nov 2018
is what i want to say
when i look at you
in your eyes
the curve of your lips
and the color of your eyes
all of you is intriguing to me
and like a nightmare all at the same time
i can never get you out of my head
in my mind is where you have always nested
images of you
playing over and over again
and although its haunting me
its not really like i want it to go away
because you are a beautiful but bitter sweet memory
and in my mind is where you have always nested
why would i take you away from that?
why would i take me away from that?
maybe i could rip out whatever you left in me out
and watch myself bleed tears
or i could continue
because you are a beautiful but bitter sweet memory
because in my mind is where you have always nested
because you felt safe enough to close your eyes
because you felt safe enough to lay your head on my chest and finally rest
but its not fair to either of us
i noticed you before you noticed me
and i begin to wish that i never looked your way
or gave you the time of day
because now everytime I think of your name
my body is set aflame
661 · Mar 2017
Kee Mar 2017
Tian is five
Tian is lonely
Tian has no friends
She's locked in her room
The clock is a close companion
She watches it count down to noon
With a piece of chocolate in her hand
She stares at the red balloon.

I'm seven now
I 'm locked away
My parents shame
Their secret child
I live alone in this room
and I know no one
But this  balloon
The red, round balloon
That's lived for three days
The red, round balloon
I hope you stay
I'll give you chocolate
That's all I have
My names Tian
and I'm lost
the three random words are balloon, clock, and chocolate. Tian is the child that her parents never wanted. They were hoping for a boy, but got a girl. They locked her away as punishment, although she did nothing wrong. They show a little pity, and each year for her birthday they give her a balloon and chocolate.
Tian is  a very smart girl, and she knows why her parents do to her what they do.
Should I make a second part to this?
659 · Mar 2018
Kee Mar 2018
Let me tell you a secret of mine
I think it’s time
That everyone knows
How broken I am
Because no one knows
How much my heart is shattered
No one knows
That my fate may be death
And I don’t know if that’s my happy ending or not
I miss my old self so much
That sometimes it’s hard to remember why I changed in the first place
And I want to go back
But I don’t know if I could go back
I don’t know if I want to go back
I was shy and fragile back then
I’m shy fragile and bit less of a crybaby now
It’s just that no one knows
That I still cry at night
And I wish I could die
And that I’ve wanted to place the razor to my wrist so many times
No one knows
That I miss me
I miss me so much
I want to be me again
But I don’t know how
I don’t know how
I don’t know how
Maybe I shouldn’t try at all
I guess I’ll pretend to be okay
649 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
Lying under  this smile is my sadness.
I told you I was fine, but I was lying.
I thought you were just joking, that you really hadn't fallen in love with someone new.
I guess I really thought we could be something, too.
I know it's not the first time that I've gotten my hopes up and they've died but, this time felt different.
Somehow, each time time always feels different.
More or less hope.
He's handsome, I won't deny that.
Funny, I can admit that too.
But meant for you?
I guess I waited too long.
Let's see how long this lasts, and maybe then...
I'll have hope again.
I don't know where I was going with this, I just wanted to write something.
It doesn't have to have a story behind it but if it does...
She's in love with her best friend who's straight.
599 · Mar 2015
Kee Mar 2015
The earth stills as he holds in a breath,
only moving as he exhales.
Alcohol, Marijuana, Speed, ****,
it all consumed his life.
it made him, him

But as he stood in the middle of a street in NYC,
he didn't care.
Losing his family to a hit and run,
he wanted to die the same way they did.
Quick, with no pain,
*and the thoughts of getting ice-cream.
This just came into my mind,and I had to write it down. Sorry if it's confusing.
584 · Aug 2015
Kee Aug 2015
you turn to me with an open hand
always expecting something to be given to you
but you never give back
do you deserve everything you have?
do you honestly work for it?
or do you smile and lie in peoples faces about your work
when it's really the slaves working in the unknown factory
you aren't ****
582 · Mar 2017
Kee Mar 2017
do rich people own chocolate fountains?
is it the best quality of chocolate?
is it sweet or bitter?
what if it's  both?
how does it feel to be rich?
do most rich people take revenge on those who said, 'you'll never get anywhere in life?'
do they buy all the **** they want so they can be as high as a kite?
or is it alcohol?
do they try to escape from themselves with the  drugs?
is that why they get so high?
what's the point of being rich if you're just going to be sad?
what's up with this whole 'get money or die trying' thing?
why can't you just be happy without money?
why is the world surrounded by money?
oi! so i did a thingy. i went onto a random  word generator site and picked three random words to make a poem out of.  those three words are  fountain,  revenge, and high. i hope you like it!
558 · Apr 2017
Tian, P2.
Kee Apr 2017
3,452 holes in the wall.
I've counted all of them.
1,000 times this month.
My eyes closed, but sleep never comes.
So I count the holes in my wall.
Sometimes I listen to cars go by, or birds chirping.
Most times it's them yelling.
About me, or the bills.
Sometimes they even argue about  what to ******* eat.
I hate them both.
I wish they would've killed me instead.
4 more years until I'm free.
Until then...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
i wrote this spontaneously but i put a bit more thought into it. as of right now, Tian  is 12. I know in USA (That's where she's living)  it's 18 for the legal age, but I feel like it's too long of  a wait and this is fiction, so 16 it is :)
I don't want to tell the whole poem, but I do want to say that she suffers from insomnia and you'll learn why in the next part of the series :)
Thanks for reading!
543 · Dec 2018
12.15.18 mememememe
Kee Dec 2018
i pretend that it doesn't hurt
that tears dont drip down my cheeks too
that i dont hold my face in my hands
and weep while i wish for a better life
i hurt too
but i'd never let you know
when my world falls
i keep it to myself
because no one can save me from the destruction inside of me
and i smile
because i know that it's easier to say 'im fine'
instead of 'i want to die'
i hurt too
but i'd never let you know
how much my my mom just wants me to be okay
yet she doesnt have a clue
of how much her words slice through my skin
and make me bleed
apart of my chaos too
and i smile
because no one can save me from the destruction inside of me
from the ache in my heart
from the gun in my hand
im the only person that handle my monsters
and im honestly losing this war
527 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
You've only seen a glimpse of my world.
A glimpse of my hatred,

A glimpse of whatever I want to show you because I'm scared.
Scared of how you'll see me when I sob on the ground because I've dropped a plate.
And yes, it may be just a plate but I've been so clumsy and tired.
Disturbed and discouraged by the voices.
The last thing I want to do is drop a ******* plate.

I'd be rattled if you knew that I can't function without pills.
I hate taking them because I can't feel,
But I don't want to hear anymore voices.
I don't want to be the usual freak on the street you know.

If you knew how hard it was for me to get out of bed you'd be surprised.
I only slept three hours last night but I was terrorized the whole time by my own personal demons.
I lay there with my eyes bloodshot and wide open, my body numb.
I want to get up, but what is there for me when I do?
Like I'd actually want to be there.

If you knew that people stared at me and thought I was hot until the scars adorning my body changed their minds.
And the whispers began.
"Oh my god..." "She's so ugly, such a freak." "******* emo's."
I don't go outside without long clothes anymore.
The only good thing is that I don't have to shave anymore.

I don't visit my family.
I haven't in the last 2 years.
They don't need to see the person I've become.
Even though they've helped made me this way.
And they never stop calling, and calling, and calling!
Can't they understand that I don't want to talk!?
Oh, yes!
Another ******* breakdown.
This time, I didn't drop the plate on accident.

I'm no good to anyone broken.
So I'd rather pretend to be fine and smile.
Than to let you in...
Than to let you see more than that glimpse of what is really *me.
Okie Dokie! So I came up with this on the fly and I didn't really expect it to go this way, but I still like it.
This isn't about me, it's not really about a certain person. I guess it's the insecurities from people I've known mixed into one person who's afraid of letting someone in.
Hope you like it!
499 · Mar 2015
Kee Mar 2015
Red lipstick, angel winged eyes,
Falsies, eyebrows on 'fleek',
*******, with an *** to match.
Curvy figure, thin waist.
Pink stiletto nails,
sky high heels,
her black little dress fitting like a second skin,
long, silky, mane, flowing over the curve of her ***

As one would read this they think of a *******, or a stripper,
but do you think of the mother trying to raise her 4 year-old child?
Do you think of the young girl ***** at 16, losing all ambitions
of ever having her dream?

Do not only look at appearance, but look at the story behind it.
Don't judge a book by it's cover, fore you do not know *everything from a picture.
498 · May 2017
Our Love.
Kee May 2017
Our love wasn't really love, but it still hurt when I saw her.
I whisked away the pain like whisking the lumps out of cake batter.
They were still there.
Just like my love for you was.
It's silly because it's been so long but every time we talked I still felt your touch as if you were right next to me,
Like you used to be.
Just as warm as I remembered.
And I shouldn't think about the imaginary 'us' because I'm supposed to be in love with someone else but,
I just love you,
So much.
I didn't think you'd be with someone so soon.
I knew that you wouldn't wait around,
but I had this bit of hope that you'd stay, just a bit longer.
I pushed you of my head,
But, here you are again, making me remember things I shouldn't.
At least not while I'm with him.
He doesn't make me smile like you did.
Or laugh,
Or cry.
He's not you and I'm having a hard time trying not to compare him to you but it's so hard when all I can think of is you,
With her,
And her,
With you,
And the love we had,
Things happen, right? Lol, nothing you can do about it. Love is ****** sometimes.
455 · Apr 2017
Kee Apr 2017
Green was his favorite color.
He hated spinach.
It was funny, the face he made when he had to eat it if he wanted ice cream after dinner.
He loved Clifford the Big Red Dog.
He wanted a dog just like him.
He was a very sweet boy, one that everyone loved.
I loved him the most.
He was my son.
I stood over his casket and my tears dropped on his face.
I almost thought he would wipe them away for me, "Don't cry, mommy. I love you."
It wasn't his time.
He was 4.
You took him away from me.
I want him back.
Give him back to me.
kinda didn't know what to do with this, i had it in my book of poems and I wanted to finish it. I have a story behind it, I don't know if I want to tell it though.
454 · Jun 2015
Tell me.
Kee Jun 2015
Will you hold me?
Tell me you'll never leave
That will be forever?
That stay strong is our 'okay'?
Tell me....

Tell me you'll only love me and no one else.
Please don't make this hard for me because I depend on you.
I depend on everything you say and it seems like you hate me for loving you.
You hate the though of loving me
You'd never touch me
I'm poisonous to you and it kills me that you don't want me.
Self harm was never my thing but you made me drag the razor along my veins and cry out in pain as the blood dripped onto your white T-shirt.
It still smells like you.
You took a piece away from me and even you didn't say you loved me but I know you felt for me
you felt
But i dont understand
I don't understand why you stopped feeling for me.
And you never tell me.
436 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
He doesn't know what his purpose is.
Does he even have one?
Is he a giver?
A taker?
What is it?
All he does now is wash dashes in a nasty restaurant with cheap, foamy soap that barely cleans the dishes.
Not that anyone would notice that.
He doesn't want to live this way forever,
But his bad luck is ceaseless.
There's no way that something good would happen to him.
At least not in this life.
I used four random words to create this poem. Purpose, giver, foamy, and ceaseless. Hope you like.
434 · Jun 2017
Kee Jun 2017
the current flows rapidly down my cheeks
and my eyes puffy like balloons
my face quivering, the sobs erupting from my mouth
my knees weak
my heart shattered
i tell myself i shouldn't cry
that i'll be okay
but how do i know that?
how do i know that this hurt is going to stop?
what if it never stops?
is it like a toothache?
the pain comes and goes, only getting stronger and stronger until you have to get it taken out?
what if i can't remove this pain like i can my tooth?
what if this ache in my heart won't heal and the crack will never mend?
who am i to know what my heart wants?
maybe it's tired of my reckless decisions and has decided that it doesn't want to be healed
maybe it will stay this way and prepare for the next wave of pain to come just like that toothache
what happens when the pain is finally too much?
can i die from a broken heart?
how will i prepare for another love?
how do i know that this is the one?
how do i know that he loves me?
how do i know when it's finally going to end?
im in my feelings, lol.
Kee Jun 2018
I knew I was going to fall in love with him
When I heard his voice on the other side of the phone
I knew I was going to fall in love with him before it was even real between us
And we were tight
Everyday we talked
And everyday we shared
And I realized
That I had fallen in fast
And way too deep
I lost it a few times
But brought myself back on my feet
And he’s knocked me down so many times
Still I rise
And it hurt
But I kept going
Until he said “I cherish you as a friend”
And that’s when I realized
That I swam down to the bottom
And wasn’t sure if I’d make it back up
I’d lost myself in him
And couldn’t find the exit
And all I could was grip
And clutch onto something
That no longer wanted me
I was being held captive by his voice
And by my broken heart
Who just couldn’t let go
I’ll always have love for him
But I know that it won’t ever be
Even all of those times when he said “just wait for me”
I can’t wait any longer
I have a life to live
But I know one day we’ll speak again
And we’ll do these things
All over again
424 · Jul 2017
To My Future Husband
Kee Jul 2017
I hope you can deal with my grumpiness in the morning
My snoring through the night
Sometimes I even talk in my sleep
I'll want you to cook all the time and cuddle me too
I hope you're warm and smell good
Please be able to take a joke
I love to laugh
Love me with all you have
Kiss me like it's the last time you ever will
Look past my eyes and into my soul
See me for my heart and not the body it's attached to
Love me for me and I'll do the same for you
My future husband, I love you.
423 · Apr 2017
So Much
Kee Apr 2017
You love a person so much
Their pain becomes yours.
You are them.
They are you.
But sometimes that's not enough.
Not enough for them.
But you tried.
For him.
For you.
That wasn't enough.
You loved hard.
Too hard.
And now you can't undo this love.
You can't forget.
You can't figure out if it's you or them anymore because you two were so alike.
So in tune.
And now you're over.
You're trapped with lingering memories of what used to be, and you can't escape.
You can't run from yourself, or from him.
Not anymore.
416 · Feb 2016
Kee Feb 2016
Reading right to left, down to up, common  sense not in my body.
High as  kite, the world is cold but my body is hot like delicious tamales.
Fire in my veins and the screams of my own being is what thrills me.
The Earth crumbling beneath my feet and I'm being dragged in.
I don't mind though, I love the thought of  life being scary.
*What's a life that's drama free?
410 · Mar 2017
Kee Mar 2017
and my heart feels heavy while my head is light, everything is dizzy and i can't sleep at night
i think of my monsters and know they'll always be in my head
i can try to stop them, but they're like the plague-
contagious, fast paced, and deadly
there's no freedom from the oppression i've been given
ever since i popped out the ***** with brown skin that's when my label was given
my statistics- given
stereotypes- given.
poverty- given.
everything that the 'superior' dont want or need- given.
life aint easy, and it never will be
they say keep ya head up
but i want it to fall
i want it to crash and burn
and i want to go down
i want to let go
but i cant
Was in my private,  Idk why.
399 · Jul 2017
Love Galore
Kee Jul 2017
Love galore
It was all being given to you and none to me
Showered in abuse instead of love
Embraced on the cheek with a fist instead of a kiss
Looked at with disgust instead of admiration
Told that I'll never be able to leave but you can't wait until I'm dead
I'm the one loving you when no one else is
The only one treasuring you when no one does
Still in love with you because i know you won't make it alone
But here I am, loving you
When you don't love me
Stuck in this 'love galore'
398 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
why does it hurt so bad
when does the pain ever stop
when will my tears dry
when will my love for you vanish
why are you always invading my thoughts
i'm tired of seeing you in my dreams
your face on other peoples body
i want to reach out
but you're happy now
happy without me
379 · Apr 2017
Loving you.
Kee Apr 2017
I loved you, even if you made me feel like ****.
I loved you, because no one else did.
I loved you, because I thought it was the right thing.
I loved you, because I thought you couldn't live without me the way I couldn't live without you.
I loved you, because that seemed to be enough.
But who knew that loving you would be so...
373 · Jul 2015
I Wish.
Kee Jul 2015
The kisses I wish you would leave on my neck
The smile I wished you would send my way when we walk pass
The girl you hold on a loving way
I wish it was me
Don't you ever think that we could be
I imagine our kids, the white picket fence
Call me crazy, even insane
But I love you
Do you feel the same?
373 · Mar 2015
Kee Mar 2015
Get out of my head
Leave my mind
Stop torturing me with your lies,
Just leave me be.
Let me cry,
Let my soul howl,
Let the pain crush me inside.
I can't say much more,
Because my heart cracks as I do.
Just one last thing,
I hate you.
370 · Jun 2017
Kee Jun 2017
all of these people say they really need me
but they're never around
all of these people say they love me
but weren't there from the get go
things get too hard and i'm the one that needs love
everybody's like casper
a ghost
and i just think it's funny how
i'll sit at this computer all day
looking for messages that never came
concern that never come around
a simple 'are you okay' never even crossed the screen
so how should i feel?
should i be the stupid one for staying around?
for pretending to act like im still happy in this friendship?
that what they say warms my heart?
or is it the ****** up voice in my head
and the insecure thoughts in there too
let's add a sprinkle of anxiety
that'll help me too
help me decide
just what to do
how to fix
my broken life
366 · Oct 2017
Kee Oct 2017
I was supposed to write this out like a journal entry but it ended up being more like a poem

I feel stupid for loving someone who doesn’t give a **** about me
And I’ve spent four, almost five years loving him even when I couldn’t love myself
And for that, I feel dumb
I feel dumb for waiting on something that will never come
And I feel especially dumb for those times I believed all those sweet nothings you murmured in my ear
Dumb for my heart soaring at the text messages you would send m
Dumb for thinking the impossible
The inevitable
Dumb for believing you were the one
Sad because I still love you
And that will never change
But one day I will move on
And somehow I’ll forget your name
And it might hurt too much to even go back through time in my brain
And think about how close we once used to be
And all the things we said
Because those things no longer matter
When you can’t say to me anymore
It’s as if those words fade
And they no longer mean anything to you or me
But I’m stuck here loving you
Stuck here in alternating universe where you love me too
356 · May 2017
Kee May 2017
why should i pretend that you haven't hurt me
that i haven't hurt you
that we haven't hurt us
why should we pretend that what we had was golden when we both know that we screamed all night and we cried our hearts out trying to make it work
knowing it would fail
but we made it ours
although it is no longer
it feels good to know
that you don't have to pretend anymore
you can love with someone else without pretending
i'm not there yet
i'm still hanging on
just a bit longer
missing how it feels to pretend
346 · Jun 2017
Kee Jun 2017
I've lived my life long,
No longer shall I fight.
I've cried hard,
Now my tears will dry.
I've yelled for help,
But ended up saving myself.
There's nothing left for me,
I must die.
I was born to make a change,
that change was within myself.
Destined to become different,
But saw nothing was normal about me.
I've been different since birth.
341 · May 2017
Hang Me.
Kee May 2017
rough draft:
Hang a picture of me up on your wall.
Don’t forget me, I was your first love.
I’d also like to be your last, you were my first and only friend.
It felt as if you wanted to hang me from the tree, all your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive.
I couldn’t see past the tears, they blinded me.
They blinded me from seeing you walking away.
They remained sketched into my memory whenever I thought of you, my first and only friend, lover, soulmate.
First, you hanged me on tree of love, and I felt warm, happy, a life worth wanting.
Then you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn’t asking, ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’ ‘Is there someone else?’’
Lastly, you hanged me on the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn’t breathe, move, or speak.
I asked you why, but you didn’t say anything to me.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I fell to the ground and weeped as you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you to be my sweet, until you hung me on that ******* tree and left me weak.

revised version:
Hang a picture of me up on you wall.
Don't forget me,
I was your first love.
I wanted to be your last.
You were my first and only friend.
Also my first and only love.
But, things change.
You changed.

It felt as if you wanted to hang me from a tree.
All your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive in your terror.
I couldn't see past the tears, they blinded me.
Blinded me from seeing you walk away.
The bruises on my neck remained etched into my memory,
whenever I thought of you.
My first and only friend.

First, you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn't stop asking.
Are you okay?
Why aren't you talking to me?
Is there someone else?

And then it was the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn't breathe.
I gripped the rope as hard as I could and ****** in air, trying to hold on.
Trying not to shatter, just like my heart.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I finally released my self from the noose, falling hard.
Weeping while you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you.
To be my sweet,
Until you hung me on that ******* tree,
And left me weak.
Okie dokie... I had this poem sitting in my google docs for about a year and some change lol. I revised it but I still don't necessarily like it. But, I wanted to post soooooooo... hope someone thinks this is okay.
Kee Nov 2015
i thought we had a dream to be together forever,
i guess that was a lie.
you said, "i'll never love another."
so who was that you were with in the schools bathroom stall?
don't tell me this just to do the opposite.
i need the truth, and if i can't get it from you then i don't want it at all.
we, we were suppose to be together forever.
our life use to seem worth living, and now that you're not in it..
i'm hopeless, scared, alone, angry, because you're not here.
you left me in this debt all by myself.
this debt of love, happiness, anger, and depression.
i have to deal with it ALL by myself.
and you don't care.
you just laugh with your new girlfriend in my ******* face and pretend that you didn't hurt me.
guess what?
i'll do the same.
i'll be better of without you,
and i'll smile.
a real smile.
the smiles you give to a person you love.
and then. only then,
will you feel like an *** for everything you've done.
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