There was a time I must admit I tried to move on with my life and my poetry but then I thought about It and then realising move on to what I'm happy In my poetry writing of Helen and everybody on here seems to love her so much and I'm happy writing about her and If anybody does become tired of my poems of Helen that's fine they are perfectly entitled to there opinion It's a free world and I know some people will say get a life move on but I'm happy where I am with my memories of my sweetheart my true love Helen so I will continue to write about her and be happy
Helen, I'm happy writing of her so I've written this to apologise to anyone that might everybody's entitled to there opinion quite rightly so but I can't let her go
I woke up late And try to wake the happy state of my inner sane But, as I move along the way I felt that there is no other play that I can raise the happy state because as I intake the meds and remove the shelf of craze I can see myself lost in space.
That the happy state was no longer my pace.
I already taste the bitterness phase of you leaving my maze
Alone seems to be my end game. I have lost my lasting hope in what is left of my mind. Yes i’m scared of what is to come next but that shall not stop me. Alone is what happens in the dark when none is looking to find the light. Lost is how i have fallen. Beaten into depression and what I have thought to be happy. Never will I be happy. Finally i am okay with that. I know it’s sad but I never asked for it to be this. It’s been 17 years i’m scared that it’s too late to save myself. My time is near i can’t say it’s death but I can say that I don’t think whatever it is, is going to be good.
No smile has been real for years. People seem to always think im happy, they even try to tell me i’m happy. I guess i’m just a really good actress, not good enough to fool myself.
Welcome to what I call my life. Lonely and alone is my status. What’s yours?
I’m tired Tired of the lies Tired of the pretending Tired of the acting And the show that you put on You try to cover up your darkness When I already know what’s inside You tell me of all the good things And then you turn yourself around I’m tired of the teasing Tired of the persona’s Tired of the hiding Tired of secrets I tired of being tired
I'm hopelessly in love with someone who'd rather push and shove I feel so distant yet they make me feel close but really they're farther than they've ever been and I try to save but they turn me away like the tears on an abandoned child left on a deserted door step I feel so very lonely in this world full of mixed matched feelings broken dreams and shattered hearts they continue every day to give me false hope just enough to fall in love again and I feel like a wicked candle lit on fire with burning passion just to be extinguished and forgotten about until they embark on a dimly lit date with someone other than me