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T Detter 12m
How can you be happier when you're happy but not okay?

You're so content and so in awe of this new thing,
but when do you start to feel okay?

Smiles don't tell you how you feel.

Being happy and being okay seems like a good pair,
so why do they feel so far apart?

It's all so new.

You expect so much to change,
but it hardly does.

It's crazy that you're even part of this,
things like this never happen to you.

And it all seems so out of reach,
but here you are.

How did someone like you get so happy?

One thing still won't escape your mind,
how can you be happier when you're happy but not okay?

It's hard not to know what you're feeling,
and harder to ignore how you feel.
Elle 3h
Cotton candy in the sky my love so blue

Day dreaming if fairy tales are true

Trap in that innocent look but everyone has a clue

Turning back the pages again to square one

Repeating mistake is my forte
I guess?

You're the last page that i can't escape

Loving you was not my intention

I  just want this chapter to end
I think *** won't mind
If I abandon him
For some sicker glee,
Because I don't know
Me,  Nor all whom I should.

I like the turmoil
You provide
and the pain it supplies
But I think
I am living a lie
In some romantic way
And getting farther away
from where I could be
By playing all the parts
I was "designed" for.
Olive 1d
Sometimes Darkness whispers to me.
It tells me it is a place of comfort,
A place of escape.
No one can find you here, it insists,
You are alone, finally,
Just what you wanted,
Screamed for,
Cried for,
Alone, with me, it looks up
With a smirk
Don’t be scared,
I don’t judge,
Stay for as long as you wish.
When I leave, it whispers to me,
Come back, I miss you,
Escape the chaos,
Be with us...

Sometimes Darkness yells at me.
It questions who I am,
Why I am here,
I don’t belong...
I’m too intense...
I’m not good enough...
What I want is impossible...
It tells at me, until I yell back.

Sometimes Darkness stares at me,
When my eyes are shut,
I see it’s gaze,
It’s lure,
It’s disapproval and longing for my return.
It stares... and glares... until I open my eyes,
And find the light again.
Those dark thoughts are visiting...
In the middle of the night the wolf pack howls
The girl stares dreaming out her window
Her grip on reality losens
As the weights on her eyes pulls them down
Her mind takes her to the snow white castle
Where the marble gleems with energy
The village boy waits in the mangroves sand
Playing with the muddy water as he waits for her
She walks down in a white gown lifting it as the mangrove swallows her
“ ready?” the boy asks joyfully as he gets into the boat
“ Yes where are we heading?” She questions
The corners of his lips tug up as the words fall out of his mouth
Imogen 3d
Je pense aux rideaux de pluie argentés
Qui tombent
En automne du ciel gris,

Du ciel sombre

Qui me regarde de lointain
Dans les rues sous ses ombres.

De Paris à Prague:
C’est la même mélodie
De la même mélancolie;

C’est la même valse,
Dont je connais trop bien les pas.

À Saint-Pétersbourg:
C’est le même ennui.

Ce qui m’accompagne
À travers ce monde:

C’est partout la même pluie.
A writing attempt in French prompted by memories of rainy evening wanders while traveling, particularly while visiting Saint Petersburg. :-) The rain always fell so gently there; between the cool temperatures, the baroque and neoclassical architecture, and pastel hues of the buildings, one has a peculiar feeling of walking through a whimsical, film noir Impressionist twilight zone. :)
Milan 4d
I am a lair, I am a cheat
I fooled myself to believe
everything around me, I understand,
but now I can't, I can't pretend,
I'm losing my ways, my soul's been hit
my life is headed towards a bottomless pit.

Abandoning the oasis, I pursued a mirage
ended up in a swamp now I can't get away
I'm being pulled down by the gravity of hate.
On this fathomless desert, I'm stranded; alone and scared
scorching heat, freezing cold; fearing life that I never cared,
Each day clinging to the flickers of hope
that one of these days someone will come to my rescue,
a wanderer such as myself or an angel, I don't know
or I'll just be drowned here without a clue.
Tired and lone now I laugh at time's stern jape
knitting the sad iffy dreams of my escape.
Craving for freedom from the prison of existence..
I’m not broken
I’m a puzzle not to be solved
I’m a bird of…
Preying on rain…
But the clouds elude my webs
I’m the underside of an antisocial umbrella
What with the moisture-averse lovers nowadays
I shoo them off and twist my spokes
And finally I’m no longer pretending for completeness for the sake of my surroundings
Because She comes clad timeless
Comes with thunder
And She tastes like all or nothing
My nightcap is communication,
because I crave it all day
I spend hours between four walls
And talking helps me get away.
So I stay up late most of the time,
Chatting my time away
Because after all, I have more time
When tomorrow rolls my way.
Emmah 5d
I am burdened
With emotions
I don’t want to feel
Don’t know how to deal
With my suffocating heart
My brain tries to depart
I don’t want this to be real

My mind struggles
Under the weight
Of my broken reality
Something’s wrong with me
The blood in my veins
Are filled up with pain
Unfortunate calamity

I am too much
Yet not enough
Beneath waves filled with ****
I drown under the swell
Crumbling under pressure
Can’t escape this, ever
Bottom of a never ending well
The title is German - the literal translation is “life tired”
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