the lion tiptoes in circles around her. her mind spins in opposite circles while the voice in her head yells "run." but her limbs freeze and lock into place. she hides her breath deep in her lungs, staring straight into the lion's eyes hoping it won't feel the fear in the air. each second crashes onto her shoulders, until the lion slowly saunters away, becoming a small shape in the distance.
#escapril day 22! Re-posting due to issues with the website.
Let me sleep until reality turns grey Let me breathe until my lungs tear to shreds Let me live alone in a house with a cat Let me not be touched or tainted
But the world wants you to be touched The world wants you to see reality in all its horrifying colors The world wants you to breathe softly And to live with the noises and smiles Of the house you always dreamed of.
What do you when you start to feel like you can’t breathe again? Your chest gets heavy, and a simple inhale hurts so bad a tear twinges at your eyes. My chest, my lungs heaving as if I ran ten miles, but here I am sitting on my bed in the dark grasping at my chest, the burning of a decade of cigarettes beating me down to the point of where if I try to stand my knees would give and I would lay an empty puddle on the cold hard floor.
You were the definition of Satisfaction. You were the blood in my veins, and the smoke in my lungs. I was addicted to you in the worst of ways. It was you who could quench the eternal thirst at my lips. And it was you who could satisfy the ravenous hunger in my bones. You were everything I needed all at once. And You gave me everything I ever wanted. A love that consumed me.
Check out the other poems in the "Addictions" series! This poem was written in 2016.
It's lonely I have nowhere else to be at A tiny death occurs A flashlight open eye Does it even stop? Lost hung thoughts dry out in my room Then the basic rumor smoke fills your lungs It's cheap awkward stares that faze Those small cat like dreams Spread over the coffee table Unmasked and unafraid That's where you still stand Holding regrets final collapse It's not enough
you have been wintergreen against my heart. a sharp brilliance of blinding light captivating me within the infinite breadth of a wandering moment. my lungs frosted first freezing figures of frozen firs upon the memory of each breath. my blood ran cold like that winter river and I was a fish beneath its icy exterior and you have been wintergreen against my heart. a cold slap of circulating change penetrating each layer of protection. you have been wintergreen through them all and now you are wintergreen against my heart. a fresh perspective from the core of my being to the scales of my skin. a permeating resolution of piercing glacial coolness frosting the valves and chambers of this brumal beater. you have taken my breath from gelid gilded gills and scattered the shattered pieces of peace across this boreal landscape. from the hiemal heights of arctic aurora aura's to the lower polar valley's suspended in diamond dust--you have been wintergreen among them all and now these roots are too--cool, clear and growing--and i have never been so grateful for the cold that pierced and kissed this wintergreen heart.
and i hope you’ll take care of yourself you deserve a lot more than the torments you carry like a cloud if only you knew how badly i wished i could sail through every storm for you
i would’ve faced the crashing waves and treaded even in the pain of holding your head above water because i wanted you to get the chance to do better for yourself
but what’s the use if i drown just trying to make you see you’re worth more than the people who pushed you overboard and watched you descend so deep into yourself you didn’t know where the ocean ended and you began
and you try to hide the water trapped in your lungs but i can still see it in your eyes
i know you pushed me away because you felt like an anchor sinking and didn’t want to take me down with you but you never even bothered to ask if i could swim
always saying i'm so happy but you never seem to notice how sad you make me feel i can't keep struggling to strap a lifejacket on the back of someone who doesn't want to be saved
but i hope someday, you'll empty the heavy stones from your pockets catch your breath above the surface and feel the sun shining on your face once more