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In cover of night I hide my flaws
Sealed them in the blackened air
Darkness cloaks my ugly parts
Like they were never there
Nightfall disguises my ugliness in shadows so dark
Jeremy Betts Feb 13
What is this that I've let build up inside of me?
I'm only human, I get lonely
So, at first, it's easy to see why I didn't really mind the company
...at first...
With every attempt to shine a light on it, it seemed to get more ugly and angry
Personally becoming so entangled in my past I found myself imprisoned in my head, lost away and locked the key
Mass delusion feeds mass confusion obviously
Abused by depression and anxiety
Used simultaneously as prison guards to keep me here in captivity
A single inmate maximum security penitentiary
Making a mockery of my first 40
While I watch the worst of me became the only me
I foolishly pretend no one else could possibly see
As behind the scenes I try to wiggle free for a second or three
In an attempt at some sort of damage control on this fragile soul and fractured mentality
Trying in vain to make sense of the recipe
'Cause if this is how it's supposed to be
Then someone's going to need to explain to me
Exactly why my straight to TV, B movie horror mystery
Was scripted to be such a difficult and seemingly impossible journey
Where's the humanity?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 20
Maybe this non dairy rocky road was already laid out for me like some kind of haphazardly tossed together destiny of unfathomable tragedy
Or maybe I was too afraid to look too closely or venture too far from safety
Didn't see the blame had shifted dramatically, mostly to me, but how wrong can one guy possibly be?
And yet still I will admit, there's a possiblity the mentality I harbor is mostly negativity manifesting this reckless trajectory
No way to know for sure cause the final copy sent to the publisher was never run by me
So maybe, just maybe, it's some combination of these three, and everything you don't see but what pushed the first domino is beyond me
Can't jog my memory, the good, the bad and the ugly all lost to ancient history, constantly looked over, over and over to the point of obscurity
There's no money so follow the calamity of the paper back story, it's short and gory
Densely packed and stacked with everything that would make someone uneasy
Only pain and shame, no glory, not even a hole, boxed in and been lonely for 40
My future is solely based on what I've done previously
Most might say, "uh, yeah, obviously" but it can get tricky
With a little creative liberty taken to push the limits of an already worn down psyche
Me, myself and I, a split personality or just a not so holy trinity?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 2018
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Let me start by saying that there's no need for the exchange of pleasantries, no introductions are necessary, I'm just here to verbally deliver a quick update memo on the progress being made daily. I know you're all busy people so I'll try to be brief and get though this quickly yet thoroughly.  There will also be no time for questions at the end. Let's begin...

I've reconstructed the way I think and see, scrapped the old me
The lies the devil sold me, told me I was a nobody and I bought into it completely
It forcibly held me down, face to the ground and from that angle everything is ugly
Tears slowly crawled down my cheeks to their final resting point, silently they turn the dirt muddy
But see, I went from a tragedy to a medical anomaly as I reversed the lobotomy
With the regrowth of the proper anatomy I ultimately but unnaturally went from an mental amputee to winning endurance marathons easily
It's amazing how quickly road blocks turn to speed bumps, almost instantly
They may slow me down but getting over them is no longer a problem for me
Eventually they will transform entirely into simple mile markers that I pass by on the daily
This path, this new journey will get me to the place I was suppose to be originally
Finally, after thirty years I'm looking forward to seeing some new scenery, being a part of this life changing movie
And with me I've got my two favorite people, Logan and Apphia respectively
They bring out the best in me, their love and belief in me drives me
They make me wanna be the best me I can be and opened my eyes to my true destiny
See, I thought life would be the death of me but truth be told it's a blessing bestowed to me
The rebirth metaphorically into this new family has restored my faith in humanity
I'm not used to this smile I feel on me, this is crazy, this must be what it feels like to be happy

©2018
Jeremy Betts Aug 2020
(political)

If it were up to me I'd change the entire seen, at this point that's gotta be first thing
I'm taking firing every living, breathing being and put a lien on the Whitehouse till we fix this thing
People are having a difficult time coping and it's only getting worse cause we're allowing this perverse nonsense to keep going
It's a curse, can't be believing the sycophant bigots in church nor office, weaving a dishonest promise that everything will be okay but never delivering
No solution "Just keep doin' what you're doin', this is America and we are American so even when we're losin' we win"
How can more than half the population believe in blatantly false information? Being that blind takes dedication
But this isn't a debate on creation, it ain't an argument about what's better; Xbox or PlayStation
We need to fashion a constraint, one custom fit for the reality of the situation
Our innate ability to shoot ourselves in the foot has proven, in real time, just how broken we are as a nation

If it were up to me I'd forcefully remove the blinders and lift the vale so all y'all can see clearly
Get face to face and look closely at the man behind the curtain, the one who's certainly hurtin' every American family
We've gotta collectively grow a pair cause this turning away haphazardly from real issues is turning out badly
It's like we're trying to escape on a stationary bike hoping a simulated digital effort will magically be enough ultimately
But it's plane to see we don't do enough as a society, continually bringing trouble our way, inviting it to stay knowing that any day it could turn ugly
Smugly we stand proudly next to our failures yelling alternative facts loudly to drown out the reality
And said reality has been a slow burn, catching up gradually as to not alarm you with the coming tragedy
Mercy is an option that's been taken off the table permanently, tough love is the new weaponry, I mean strategy, excuse me

Like I said, if it were up to me there'd be no mercy
The time for coddling is over, if you're not part of the solution you get sent out to pasture and not instantly because technically it'd actually be much faster
No more stumbling over blunder after blunder, it's no wonder we can't get from under this absolute corrupt power
The hour is late and the gate to a better future is chained shut but if you wait I'll locate a detour
There will indeed be fewer unlocked doors but we just need one to advance further
So whether you're ready or not it's time to move the plot along, our end game can not be forgot
We've got a long way to go, it's obvious that collectively we're not as progressive as we once thought
After draining the swamp we have got to get the skeletons out the closet to slow the dry rot
It's a hot topic because it doesn't line up with half the public but once the plan is in place you'll love it and be thanking me a lot

To bad it's not up to me though cause it's honestly getting pretty scary down this ominous hallway walkway
I don't see this ending in a way that doesn't just lead us further astray
And allow for the further decay of our democracy and quite possibly bring forth an inevitable Doomsday
The clock ticks life and hope away, that's not to say we're running out but it's starting to look that way
This isn't something I say for shock value, it's said to allow you insight into their strategy
This great big life conspiracy theory is crazy enough, I don't need to exaggerate any, just look at any headline from today
What do you see? Can you even put it all into words?
What does it mean? Could you tell the difference between 'em if I removed their party placards?
One insignificant step forwards for man, but for mankind it's always a giant leap backwards, heading head first towards collapse and neither direction cares knowing they are the 1% that'll be just fine afterwards
They are born con artists and actors, everyday nominating new content to put towards winning best lie at the Oscars
You might not think so but I know We The People are changing to us and them others, I just hope the non believers notice before the herds of buzzards
It is really, truly unfortunate that it's not up to me...

©2020
constraint
maria Oct 2023
My mom and I
sat talking at a coffee shop
for six hours.
We'd never gotten along
so well.
We discussed all the good things,
marriage, babies, degrees.
We said this in a world of
divorce, death, debt.
I said,
I wonder what awful thing
will happen next.
Jeremy Betts Jun 2023
There's all this talk around me about some profound we that's never found me
They taking a collective we?
One agreed on collectively but conveniently and continuously minus me
Is it the me, myself and I type we? Cause defining a trinity might not unveil anything holy
Or could they be referring to the we that turns to just me when things get a little bit heavy?
That kind of we?
Maybe they mean the we I'm supposed to automatically call family
Even though history will show them as a two faced enemy
Both ones I've picked or have befriended me, eventually it's contempathy from a frienemy
An uninterested we that hardly reciprocates the love that's expected to freely flow from me blindly
What baffles me still is this bloodline we that aren't even aware of me
Or they are aware just unwilling to add me to their we
Coldly my psyche reminds me, "you're nobody's somebody buddy, sorry."
Personally, I say let 'em swing from their positions above and beside me on the family tree
Unfortunately they will always be a part of the conversation when discussing this we
The good, the bad and the ugly represented by said we but projected on me
Now listen closely, I claim to have came to this conclusion organically

There is no we, only me

Nonsense spewed when angry but the me I try to hide visually, the one projecting he doesn't need a we
Cries out for somebody when times get lonely, lies and said I'm my only company
Cause I can not see the we that is meant to be, the we I thought was only a dream of a faded childhood memory
It's not only right in front of me but all around me and already a part of me
I had no idea this door even had a handle for entry with a keyhole much less a key
Apparently it was the skeleton type and had to be pulled out of me
Reality blends with fantasy in the best way, what else is there to say? I've found my we and another reason to be happy

©2023
Unpolished Ink Nov 2022
Flowers will bloom in battlefield mud
amid army boots and battlefield blood
a robin will chirp on a battlefield wire
joined by others in a battlefield choir
except for the camps
where no bird will sing
the silence of ugly is a terrible thing
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