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else Aug 13
Ugly, ugly, ugly, feelings that were once yours but now mine

you have a life bigger than mine, and it used to be the opposite

like how you used to want to own me, now i want you for myself.

I wonder what you will feel if I tell you my true, ugly thoughts now.

This is madness, years of staying by each other’s sides,

It is time we part. I must accept you have a different life now.

Ugly, ugly, ugly thoughts and feelings that made me write this prose,

Disappear, disappear, disappear. This is

Ugly, ugly, ugly.
Jeremy Betts Jun 21
I want to be anything but me
Not always obviously
But often definitely
Specifically when that pesky negativity
Has a death grip on my personality
And brings out the ugly

©2024
Man Jun 17
Just like all the nepotism today,
Narcissism is wildly popular-
In fact, it's good.
You should only care for yourself,
Forget about any platonic love for others
What use can you derive from them?
snipes Apr 28
The only imperfection is the mirror.
The only way the reflection is the same
is if you believe it.
Being afraid will only fray you down.
I know this because I’ve been unwoven.
This life has its monsters and heros.
Villainized and caped.
They’ve been appointed their wills.
But what you, the story’s maker, can find
is the interpretation.
Pax Mar 30
A faulty start, I lost all my stars
Personally, I became a recluse
Truly afraid to be abuse.
Envious of some solemn luck,
            In love, I am an ugly duck.
I **** in many ways,
seems no one is able to stay.
                     Its okay.
Just pretend, as you did not hear
            Do not count me, as I am not here.
   Moreover, hide as if I did not know your there.
So do not love me as if you needed me
       Just love me sincerely
       Or else better don’t
       I am better alone - anyways….
Thank you for all those who still read me. I am not as active as I used to be, to write and read, alot. Perhaps I became the star who lost all will to light up or the mandane things got me numb in many things. I am sorry for that.

this one is the continuation of the previous piece...
Jeremy Betts Mar 27
This "fairytale" I call life is Brother Grimm, too messy for Disney
Separate the good, the bad and the ugly
Or lump all three together and just label it me
Who or what is responsible for this travesty?
Well,
That's easy
Place me in font of a mirror and you'll see

©2024
In cover of night I hide my flaws
Sealed them in the blackened air
Darkness cloaks my ugly parts
Like they were never there
Nightfall disguises my ugliness in shadows so dark
Jeremy Betts Feb 13
What is this that I've let build up inside of me?
I'm only human, I get lonely
So, at first, it's easy to see why I didn't really mind the company
...at first...
With every attempt to shine a light on it, it seemed to get more ugly and angry
Personally becoming so entangled in my past I found myself imprisoned in my head, lost away and locked the key
Mass delusion feeds mass confusion obviously
Abused by depression and anxiety
Used simultaneously as prison guards to keep me here in captivity
A single inmate maximum security penitentiary
Making a mockery of my first 40
While I watch the worst of me became the only me
I foolishly pretend no one else could possibly see
As behind the scenes I try to wiggle free for a second or three
In an attempt at some sort of damage control on this fragile soul and fractured mentality
Trying in vain to make sense of the recipe
'Cause if this is how it's supposed to be
Then someone's going to need to explain to me
Exactly why my straight to TV, B movie horror mystery
Was scripted to be such a difficult and seemingly impossible journey
Where's the humanity?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 20
Maybe this non dairy rocky road was already laid out for me like some kind of haphazardly tossed together destiny of unfathomable tragedy
Or maybe I was too afraid to look too closely or venture too far from safety
Didn't see the blame had shifted dramatically, mostly to me, but how wrong can one guy possibly be?
And yet still I will admit, there's a possiblity the mentality I harbor is mostly negativity manifesting this reckless trajectory
No way to know for sure cause the final copy sent to the publisher was never run by me
So maybe, just maybe, it's some combination of these three, and everything you don't see but what pushed the first domino is beyond me
Can't jog my memory, the good, the bad and the ugly all lost to ancient history, constantly looked over, over and over to the point of obscurity
There's no money so follow the calamity of the paper back story, it's short and gory
Densely packed and stacked with everything that would make someone uneasy
Only pain and shame, no glory, not even a hole, boxed in and been lonely for 40
My future is solely based on what I've done previously
Most might say, "uh, yeah, obviously" but it can get tricky
With a little creative liberty taken to push the limits of an already worn down psyche
Me, myself and I, a split personality or just a not so holy trinity?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 2018
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Let me start by saying that there's no need for the exchange of pleasantries, no introductions are necessary, I'm just here to verbally deliver a quick update memo on the progress being made daily. I know you're all busy people so I'll try to be brief and get though this quickly yet thoroughly.  There will also be no time for questions at the end. Let's begin...

I've reconstructed the way I think and see, scrapped the old me
The lies the devil sold me, told me I was a nobody and I bought into it completely
It forcibly held me down, face to the ground and from that angle everything is ugly
Tears slowly crawled down my cheeks to their final resting point, silently they turn the dirt muddy
But see, I went from a tragedy to a medical anomaly as I reversed the lobotomy
With the regrowth of the proper anatomy I ultimately but unnaturally went from an mental amputee to winning endurance marathons easily
It's amazing how quickly road blocks turn to speed bumps, almost instantly
They may slow me down but getting over them is no longer a problem for me
Eventually they will transform entirely into simple mile markers that I pass by on the daily
This path, this new journey will get me to the place I was suppose to be originally
Finally, after thirty years I'm looking forward to seeing some new scenery, being a part of this life changing movie
And with me I've got my two favorite people, Logan and Apphia respectively
They bring out the best in me, their love and belief in me drives me
They make me wanna be the best me I can be and opened my eyes to my true destiny
See, I thought life would be the death of me but truth be told it's a blessing bestowed to me
The rebirth metaphorically into this new family has restored my faith in humanity
I'm not used to this smile I feel on me, this is crazy, this must be what it feels like to be happy

©2018
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