To take this or to take that
To decide can be a fast track
To the better or the worse
To a blessing or to a curse
Which decision do I make?
How to know which path to take?
Only I can decide for myself, but it's so hard to know to stay or go
Tell me what to do
So I can do the opposite
Tell me what I want
So I know I don’t want it
Tell me what to say
I’ll find my voice another way
Tell me what’s right for me
I’ll find out what left for me
I don’t know what I like
Until I know what I don’t like
Tell me what to think
What to drink, what to wear
Tell me that I don't care,
That I can’t spare the time
Tell me what I don’t need
And where not to go
Tell me what I don’t want -
I really need to know
NCL September 2019
How do you know.
How should I know.
How do they know,
and they do know.
Forward or back.
Leap or linger,
Gift or a curse.
Fear of falling.
Questions of the over analyser.
It's not that I can't think,
Or I'm lost in my thoughts,
It's because I didn't have the courage to trust my decisions,
Because no one believed in me,
I was always a second choice,
I thought it was better not to raise my voice.
Any suggestions or corrections for usage of words would be appreciated x
Today, I sat under a blue sky.
I basked in glory, golden rays caressed my skin and greek gods danced upon the pages in front of me.
Today i made a decision.
A decision that was made long ago.
Long before I woke, before i was even gifted life.
A decision as old as time itself, one forged with the intensity of a black hole.
One that burns with the fire of a thousand suns.
One that has lived a thousand lives before, remembers the tastes of wisdom. Only faintly.
One that wishes to be all it was, all that is no longer.
One that wishes to see all these eyes can see before they close one last time.
A decision that states. That sings, declares, needs, exclaims, screams and begs of me.
A decision, quite and sure as steel: this is not enough.
Some things feel like
They’re going to stick with me forever
But they are my choices and decisions
Whether i was or wasn’t fully aware of the consequences
And I have to live with them
Remember them each and every day.
Im to point to where
i have to make choices
That could change my little teenage life
What high school do i want to go?
Should i break up with him?
What do i even want to do with my life?
Are they someone i want to keep around me?
Am i to the point of needing help?
Where should i work?
Should i start saving now for a car?
Then theres those questions that have no reason for existing
Will i make it?
Am i good enough to be here?
Do i deserve this?
Can i even do that?
Will i ever be able to do that?
Is that possible for someone like me?
These questions eat
like worm eating a apple
Eating to my core
When i started and where im going to end
The main part of who i am
And it eats and eats till theres almost nothing left
Of what little i had