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Always wait 'till it's gone
Always blind even when taught
Always deaf even when sought

Only looking back at what was
Only pilling bricks on my walls
Only gulping bile in my rue

Coulda had, coulda got
Coulda grabbed, coulda talked
Coulda laughed, coulda loved

Emptied comforts, emptied joys
Emptied rooms, emptied possibilities
Emptied mind, numb false serenity

Only broke up by
Intense flashes of
I pen a poem
a beautiful
and think that maybe
it is about a woman instead.

in disgust,
i throw it away.

not that i hate her,
the contrary,
but to me,
it seems,
a flower cannot be a flower
and a woman
cannot be a woman.
Jack Torrance Aug 12
I’m wearing a smile,
but the smile’s a lie.
I’m holding back tears,
but my eyes remain dry.

They say the way to the soul,
is seen through the eyes,
but if that is the truth,
then you can see my soul’s died.

I’m emotionally weak,
but too stubborn to break.
I scream at myself,
for being so ******* fake.

No one would know,
how broken I am.
Lying is my art form,
and self hatred’s my jam.

How can you love yourself,
when you hate who you are?
Hiding behind falseness,
like skin behind scars.

Maybe one day,
this disguise will explode.
Then you’ll see the real me,
and my world will implode.

Till then it’s my secret,
between me and myself.
So just look at my smile,
and ignore everything else.
Cattatonicat Jul 2
alexandra May 13
born in a world with so much to discover,
by the age of eight we begin to wonder,
as we grow up why does a place once filled with colour,
begin to make us shudder
Anastasia Mar 5
you tease me
with those sweet words
i never know
if they mean something
or if they're just there
to keep me distracted
you look at me
with this strange look in your eyes
is it love
or disgust
or curiosity
found this in my drafts. now i know what it was. boredom.
Lizzie Feb 4
I'm feeling so bitter, so ugly.
These gross feelings that torment -
        Like an addict,  I welcome them,
But reluctant, and hating every second.
  I find I cannot let go
Of the passions that I grasp.
             I'm an evil soul, inside and out.
Oh help me, God, I am so lost!
Lost in the confusing swirl
Of right and wrong and grey.
The truth is found by reason,
               But the same can justify hate.
Oh, my God, oh, my God:
I beg for all the things to *****
And out, out, to go and free -
Give me liberty from this plague
      Which is me.
M Grant Teague Dec 2019
You lay there
Dead and cold

Light flicks
Dry and rough

Not a sound
Scream nor praise

What is wrong
Flaccid and limp

Hands are filth
Unwanted intruders

Shake in guilt
Truth stabbing tears
This poem is inspired by the disgusting slang "dead fish" and my own guilt for the moment I understood the cause.
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