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I blame my parents for being afraid
for teaching me every sharp edge of the world
and learning I might never be safe

I blame my parents for being lonely
for missing people I never had
and I know will never hold me

I blame my parents for the sleepless nights
for wondering if I will ever get it right
or one day wish I could go back in time

I blame my parents
because they are my parents
and I can blame them
for who I turned out to be

But when they are gone
and all I have are memories
I’ll just blame them
for leaving me.
Jeremy Betts Jan 22
You've lied TO me over and over, which is fine, I've been lied to before
I've watched my heart walk out the door as I picked my life up off the floor
Left wondering how many times I can get back up, finding it's always one more
That's how I move forward, I pay no mind to the score

This time you lied ABOUT me as you threw objects and punches, screaming like a banshee
I stood and absorbed it all, as I always have, asking how it is that you say you're afraid of me
I ask you to look me directly in the eyes and say it again one time, then two, then three
Then came the blow that hurt the worst
Looking past the crazy there was no fear, you were just angry

...now I'm scared for me...

©2024
As a man I don't even feel comfortable writing this much less posting it. Men are on the receiving side of abuse often and say nothing. The fear of being accused of domestic violence while being completely innocent and realizing she's willing to accuse you knowing you're innocent (and let's not forget that she's the one throwing objects and punches that land and leave marks while I've never raised a finger against her, not even to stop the assault on me) scares the hell out of me in all honesty...
Jeremy Betts Jan 12
I'm not afraid of dying
I'm afraid of the shame from trying

©2024
tryhard Dec 2023
one of my biggest fears,
the thing that i dare not touch—
hope

and yet, somehow
my fists are bloodied,
my grip bruising

i did deign to hope
held it between my hands:
the fragility of wanting

do not let them see me
here, vulnerable, soft
on my knees

praying or begging,
i may not know
all i know is this:

i have found hope
and it is cruel to me
but i am not letting go
in prose: i am afraid of hoping for things because what if they don't turn out the way i hoped for? but i want to hope, nonetheless. happy new year!
Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
If flesh and bone battle scares alone make you uncomfortable
You could not handle a sneak peek into my soul
How do I manage the impossible?
Your guess is as good as mine, that's all I know
Never as easy as saying no though

I also know what I don't know but sometimes too afraid of the weakness I know it will show
So I can't let you or anyone else know
I don't know how I let myself stoop so low
I hate it here, basking in the dumpster fires glow
I had time, it's a flash fire but the build up is slow
Never as easy as letting go through

©2023
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2023
Never be frightened
To reinvent character
One part at a time
Never be afraid to reinvent yourself
Toothache Sep 2023
I’m rocking back and forth against the hull of my loneliness,
Stuck in knowing it’s goodbye
But not being able to say I love you
or I’m sorry.
I’m crying with joy and longing as I lie in the love and conversation around me,
Wishing it were my own.
I’ve been high so long my heart rate stopped going down with the sun.
Going over it all all over and over all the time.
I feel like a child again, terrified by the world, the dark, the wind.
I’m breaking down in the line at the gas station.
Looking out the glass wall at a Lovecraftian highway,
Flickering florescent lights like the ones from The Exorcist.
On my way to a cavernous husk of a family dinner,
Most of them gone now.
Just me, my mother, and my widowed, bereaved, great aunt.
There’s a stupid old cardboard cutout of a mascot next to me grinning too widely, holding up its product.
I scream and tear it’s head off it’s body
In my mind.
I have work on Monday.
This is life.
We Are Stories Jul 2023
does a sacred stone
still retain its worth
if it was never taken
from it’s hidden earth?
could it truly be
a treasure trove
if no one sees
its alluring glow?
-
is my mind right to tell me
that invisibility doesn’t cause irrelevance?
or is that just a way to cope with
the ever feared unfounded-forgotten-pestilence
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