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Blake 3d
It all made sense
I felt so safe
Now it’s a mess
And I’m so afraid

What’s happened to me who am I now
I used to smile wide now I all I do is look down
As the tears fall from my face
It’s hard to believe that I once had grace

But it’s true
The world did once make sense
I was relaxed and carefree
I wasn’t always so tense

My eyes were full of wonder
Open wide so I could see
The beauty I would ponder
My heart was full of glee

I’m not the girl that I was a time ago
I have changed a lot, I’m scared of what I don’t know
I don’t keep my eyes open
For fear of what I’ll see
I never view the world as golden
It’s all black as can be

What’s happened to me who am I now
I used to smile wide now all I do is look down
As the tears fall from my face
Because I’m so afraid

I opened my eyes for I thought I’d find
A world full of people who were righteous and kind
When instead I got tricked by those I loved most
I thought I knew them but now they’re just a ghost

I thought I was seeing the light in the dark
When really all I saw was what I wanted to be
I thought they were my saviour, my animals for their Ark
But they were only lying, my true saviour is me

But what’s there to save
Who am I now that all I am is afraid
What’s there to bring back
From the dark where so long in silence I sat

For if I’m looking to save who I used to be
I should give up now for I don’t have the key
To the coffin that she’s in, deep underground
Where she’s stiff and still, and never makes a sound

Who I used to be is gone and dead
So should I try to save the new me instead?
Is the new one a person who I want to save?
To save from the dark and a permanent grave?
For if the me that I used to be,
Is dead and gone how different must I be
And is different good, do I like who I am
Enough to try and fight away the dark land
And live with in light for the rest of my life?
I’m not really sure if that’s worth such a fight.

What’s happened to me who am I now
I used to smile wide now all I do is look down
As the tears fall from my face
All I can do now is sit and contemplate
The question of if and when
I will cry again and again
I will die. But if and when?

What happened to me
Who I am now
There is no more glee
All I do is look down
The world took my wonder
There’s nothing in my eye
I became a goner
And now I want to die
Ehhhhh not the best but, it got out some of my emotions soooo yay go me? I guess?
I think I'm pinning for
Helen, like whimpering
a dog that's lost the
master, laid there with
soulful eye's that has
shed so many tears

A whimpering dog that's
lost Its purpose In life
that of looking out and
Guarding Its master
now alone and afraid
Of facing this world
without you

My Dearest Darling hope
and say a prayer did you
make It to the place you
were heading the last
the time I saw you that place
of Heaven

All that's left here now Is
a whimpering dog that's
lost Its mate It's only
friend In life now has
walk the lonely streets to
fend for Its self without
It's soulmate to whom
shared so much In life
I say a prayer did you make to the place
you heading the last time I saw you
that place of Heaven
Dawn 5d
I'm afraid that the spark is dying.
thinking about you isn't the same.
feeling you isn't what I remember.
but loving you has always been constant.
I have fallen in, which is what I was once scared of
but I'm truly afraid of falling out.
misha 6d
i turn a blind eye
to my fears
but when it comes
to you,
i can't help but

i don't know what
it is but there's
something cliche
that captivates me
even if i despise
you more than
i'm not scared anymore
It is like a door.
With hundreds of thousands of people,
knocking and hammering on it all at once.
They kick and abuse the door until it is run down and beaten,
damaged and unreparable.
Yet still no one answers the door.
And likewise,
I am unresponsive.
And until someone answers that door,
they carry on knocking.
And again,
Until I speak for myself,
those thoughts wont be put at ease,
they will continue nagging,
until I get the help I need,
that would make those thoughts disappear for good.
cupid Nov 8
i used to be scared of people
scared of what they could accomplish
scared of what would happen if they forgot me
my mother forgot me “once”
she scared me with her armfuls of scars and screaming
i think i scared her with my sharpie-filled walls and notebooks
my brain surface to surface coated in horror
i get scared by loud noises now
and i scare others when i make loud noises
i have become all the things that scare me
i now embody many of the things i hate
i scare myself
what i am capable of
is terrifying if i dwell on it too long
i suppose anything is if you think about it for long enough
oh no
i thought for too long
im scared of writing this
i dont like capital letters, i find them incredibly angering
Sam Small Nov 7
“The License to revere,
A privilege so awful
What would the Dower be,
Had I the Art to stun myself
With Bolts of Melody!”
-Emily Dickinson, “I would not paint—a picture—”

Are you the one that knocks on my Head
And tickles the cuffs of my ear
Seducing me with whispers
That induce color, that justify Pain—
Because you know if I didn’t
I’d erase myself again.
I’m Nobody! Who are you?

You tried your hand on court
A rhythmic flow at each bounce
To try to pass the Clock
But—In the midst of triumph
Victory hugged you slightly
Your contours were formed—But—
There played a Funeral in Your Brain

You tried your hand in court
To spite angry male snarls
who sanction your Wild Nights
You couldn’t fight them with verse
Or amicably attack with ad-libs
You realize, Powder exist in Charcoal—
Before it exists in Fire.

You tried to tame your hand
To wire it accordingly
To Rise to Their Requirements
But— it seized all control
And like a Loaded Gun
It kissed you on the mouth
Warning—don’t be afraid

AFRAID? Of whom am I
Recluse, ******, Madwoman
Obnoxious, Jew, ****
I am afraid I am you.
I am afraid I cannot halt.
Here comes thy hand—
May we hold it together?
Helen and I always said
making love never used
the word ***, when you're
truly In love, that's what
you say Because of the
respect you have for your
partner not that I know
anything about one night
stands because Helen was
the only girl I ever slept
with and made love too
but I was raised by mother
who hated anything to with
what she would call *** the
the mere mention of It she'd
avoid, along with the child
the abuse I suffered made me
afraid of women Helen was
so different she help through
the awarkeness my clumsy love
making attempts, because
their where times as If
was mother standing watching
every move saying, Johnny,
you don't want that It's *****
It took a long time to get over
but ******* with the one
love Is beautiful nothing can
even come close that feeling
of being In love
Brought by a mother that beat me
who hated what she called *** a *****
Word to her
i don't know how to tell you how much i'm afraid
there are so many things that i cannot explain
and i'm not in the business of putting my past on display
just know that i've never loved anyone this way
and the fear takes over and it holds me down
i can't seem to get away, i always drown
i'm so glad i'm the one that you found
but the fear is just always in the background
i'm scared, darling. you already know this
i've been through so many things that are the opposite of bliss
it's like i'm just waiting for the storm that always hits
honey, i don't want you to be another person i have to miss
i'm scared, *** help me
i hope we're meant to be
i don't think anything is ever guaranteed
what if i'm not careful enough? what if i cause this wound to bleed?
Single white female;
5'2, blonde, blue eyes.
Seeking no one -
just a little peace of mind/
piece of meat
to keep her warm at night.
Enjoys reading, travel, and
avoiding conflict.
Dislikes commitment, sleep,
and cats.
Doesn't have her **** together -
drinks a bit too much
and smokes, as well.
Her sailor's tongue
leaves no illusions.

She's trying her best, though,
and certainly there are worse things than that.
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