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Jules 20h
I don't want to make any accusations
but they're all getting into my head
They say this
They say that
I don't know what's true or false
and I'm too afraid to ask
But with our current encounter
I refuse to believe it
You're just too kind
Just too perfect
Did you really do it?
Did you really lie?
I hope she's everything you wanted Something I couldn't provide
Because when you left
you took a little bit of my mind
JT 1d
I am afraid
Afraid to grow old
To have my hair turn white
And my hands grow gnarled
I am afraid
Of time
Shaping me
Making me
A different person
Changing me
I am afraid
To forget
The time
Long gone
I am afraid
Of running
Out of time

I know you.
And so I know that you are not from here.
And that you want to go back to wherever you came from.
But you won't admit it - to me or to the world -
Because you are afraid:
Afraid of being rejected by that place and then
Having nowhere to go.
You can't believe that any longer;
if you continue this belief, you'll get nowhere.
And eventually this world will realise that you don't
Belong here and banish you anyway.
So don't keep lying
Because I can't be bothered
With this anymore either.
Good day to you.
And I hope you make up your mind
For it won't be long
Do I really have to tell you?
Neo Dore Oct 11
School? Tsk...Tsk...Tsk. What a spectacle.
I hear the bell chiming already- ding...ding...ding
Then sick and scowled, we'd walk right to were we were meant to be. "Meant to be". Heart pounding 'cos if we were late!? Or in the wrong place or mixed up the wrong dates!? that was trouble. "The bell is the voice of God"  The priest(s) would say, each day, "and when it rings you must obey" A bell? I thought, the voice of God? I chuckled.

I remember the shadows of the seminarians watching.
The irate stare and feign smile. Weren't these men of God!?  They came in new and good, but give them a day or two and...and my God!!!
There were rumors of bizarre things that happened behind closed doors, no one "saw", but walls. I know someone was there. Had to be! When the last bell rang, and the lights faded out. People became monsters. It changes people. And it would, you too because real monsters are in the light and you too are one of them.

The mass either left you hungry and empty, guilty and filthy or just feeling good about yourself for no good reason because some preacher said: "Hark, all worries will be left behind, and all disappoint too, will be gone forever..."  It was the same thing, day in and day out. One man's crime was all mens'. And our tongue just clung to our mouth because who would dare raise a finger in anger to a priest? God's delegate.  There were rumors.  

There were rumors no one would admit they saw until dusk when the light-out hour came and we streaked together muffle and scoffled about everything. It was either that or we tried, however, we could to get food. Some even looted goods, black and white was the code and we hid it safe as gold. You won't get it. Sometimes people would go as far as...sign  

Heavy eyed and tired. The bell snaped you from your dream back to this hellfire. And before you blinked you were in class
Then smell of dry papers and ink, sound of pens screeching and then you see.
Students hastily walking to where they are meant to be? "Meant to be!?"
Teachers, few, pretty as rose and others old and cold. All claiming they had gold to impact on us. Most times, the men, well tucked, some tall and maybe bit lanky.

The priests were like ghosts. Some went as far as saying Godly. Their bellowing white-blue cassock whipped by, and while some would sigh, others would hush and some would rush to where they were meant to be. Meant to be. Now ghost quiet, staring from somewhere was the priest ghost silent...

Donna Bella Oct 10
Afraid of the possibilities that I’ve seen but didn’t take
A simple step
A multitude that I uttered
The step I could have taken
The irresistible sweet savor of something that was missed
I'm afraid
I am afraid to look back and regret my choices
to confront failure, a lack on my part
to assume responsibility for what I cannot do
a deterioration that never fails to ensue

I am afraid of taking on a new life
only to destroy the chance
to lose my friends all over again
to wash away any progress or mends,
ending up short of the beginning's bend

I am afraid of what lies await, this same monotonous pain
And that profound loss of gain
East Wind Sep 27
Believing it won't happen again
I planned to paint myself in the corner.
The little girl that could was no longer visible.
In her place is me,
too afraid to say no, too afraid to be alone.
No poetic way to say,
I run away even from my own shadow.
I Decided,
You will become my security blanket.
Relentless, unapologetic, and just conniving enough
to stay until you go.
Warm at first, then sung, then sleepless nights ensue
until it feels like I'm nestled in a straitjacket.
It will be of my own making, I'm afraid
that I'll wake up with no wiggle room.
Too afraid to say no, Too afraid to be alone.

The little girl that could, where did she go?
The little girl that could, where did she go?
Liz Carlson Sep 27
i've been left so many times,
i'm just waiting for that moment to come with you.

i trust you more than most people,
yet i still expect that of you.

i have this urge to leave
before you leave me,
why can't i just stay?
am i afraid to see what will happen?
I’m not sure
Of what I’m doing
I’m starting to dread the thought
That my solitude
Is not a choice anymore
But something I got used to
Without even noticing
Like it’s something I’ve been telling myself
That I needed
Or deserved
A symptom of strength
To show off
To be proud of
When the last thing I want
Is building up walls
Around someone I love
I should be pulling you in
But I’m kicking you out
I locked the front door
Threw away all your clothes
So you wouldn’t come back
Because I got so much tired
Of your endless coming and going
Never knowing where to stand
I’m not going pretend
I prefer to pull away
Before they do the same
But everything has a price
I’ve seen it with my eyes
And I’ve paid
For each one of my mistakes
And that’s alright
It’s all part of life
And I embrace it and love it all
Because now I know
That I almost became
The kind of person
Who hurt me most
Who shut me out
Without taking a chance on me
Now I’m aware of all the things I let go
I regret and mourn them all
But they belong to a past that I can’t change
from which I can’t turn away
But I’ll forever be thankful for having learned
That I don’t need to be like the ones who hurt  
When there’s an immense power that comes from being open
and vulnerable
to love.
Life is a journey.
A journey whose vehicle are just two.
Fear and greed.
And I tell you that,
Both should be driven with caution and constrain.
Sometimes it’s fear that makes you move forward,
Fear of losing. And that makes people afraid.
Rightly though. We should be afraid.
And then it is greed that makes us move forward,
Hunger to achieve more and better,
As we set our feet on unchartered plains.
That’s called taking risk and that makes us afraid.
Rightly though. We should be afraid.
Being afraid is not bad. It’s good.
That’s what turns into strength while we move ahead.
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