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I’ve always wanted happiness, to keep it
Not just feel it.
To never feel the pressure to have an umbrella, allowing the rain to soak my skin and leave the sun to dry my soul.
I’ve always wanted it all.
Nagging at the television, of what’s real and what could be.
A good home was always better than a perfect one.
Oh how I wanted it all!
And to know, it was of existence, while I denied myself the moments.

I wanted it all, but it would seem I needed not it at all.
selina Feb 28
in the morning, i will feign ignorance,
pretending to be fast asleep and unaware
as you pull on your shirt and socks

we should have been theater concentrators, like,
if we never talk about it, it just never happened
you're just so nonchalant, and i'm just melodramatic

and i'm never satisfied unless it's something tragically comic
so tonight, let's pretend to be enemies, let's become lovers,
let's drown in shared regrets, get too familiar with each other

after all, tomorrow, when we wake, it'll all be over
your missing friends and my crushing hangover
will, once again, inevitably, reduce us to strangers
people who major in certain fields are called "concentrators" at my college
zoya skylar Feb 7
i ask you to repent, for me
come clean, for me
and tell your dad,
no, i wasn’t 18

i was
mature for my age
Is there a fundamental truth in following the old and the precedent;
When the only thing that is constant is change?
Tom Lefort Jan 5
I walk within the shadows you left behind.
Those twilight places - still and silent -
A lost lover's noman's land.

Scattered there the broken hopes we had.
Our sacred dreams - spent and failed -
My longed for lover's battleground.

Tom Lefort January 2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 1
I've been searching all life long
Placing my bets
Amidst all my missteps

Listening to the same ol' song
Dancing on gass soaked briquettes
Risky as it gets

Find me between right and wrong
Racking up debts
And future regrets

My self hatred is strong
Setting precedents
With no true benefits

Only ever told I'm wrong
No corrective steps
Only more empty threats

Just wanted to belong
But that's too complex
Don't want to know what's next...

...out beyond the smouldering bridges and life threatening safety nets...

...my residence

©2024
Qweyku Dec 2023
History is inherently
full of self-depreciation
studiously staging its ugliness.

It masks the truth of its beauty:

The painful present
birthing breath to the future.

© Qwey.ku 2023
f Nov 2023
“i live to let you”
my spirit has been broken by the loss of grains
and i feel like the world has become more grey
i have so many regrets for this lifetime
but i really regret every fight with grains
i’d take them all back, every one
i regret my ****** actions when i was younger
and i can’t lie, i regret things i've done since i’m older
i often feel as if i’m not a good person
but i’ve come to realize that i am a good person
just so broken
and it is is my responsibility to heal, because i have power over those around me
i just hardly see the point of preserving my own life
i’ve attempted suicide, and have never stopped self harm
i hope when i’m gone people remember me for the good things
the laughs we shared, and the intelligent conversations
and i hope people remember i love them
despite all my ****
i’ve realized i never let go of love
“love never dies”
and i’ve accepted i will always love you
i never forget you
one day everything will make sense
and things will suddenly become not a coincidence, but fate
lessons that have become invaluable to who we are
i hope to preserve the memories that light up my heart and mind
even when everything has truthfully become so dark
it’s still true i self harm and love pain, or don’t feel it
it’s still true i don’t value my life and am not afraid to **** myself
it’s still true i am a dandelion tuft-a delicate cancer
but i choose to accept what has happened, what i have done, and forgive myself for regrets
and to never forget love
if this existence ends for me, please know i love you and i’m sorry for everything
11-17-2023
Tony Tweedy Oct 2023
Walls enclose so many things,
and often have no doors,
a mind can have so many rooms,
without obeying spatial laws.

Dark or light the varied rooms,
where thoughts can play at games,
to fill mansions of many floors,
and tenants have unforgotten names.

Nights where faces come and go,
all marching from distant past,
but all were gone so long ago,
from the first face to the last.

Time that ebbs at varied pace,
as memory plays out the parade,
recalling all the ones once lost,
and those who never stayed.

Universe of lonely empty feeling,
all that memory has now become,
No sense of being yet still alive,
just a chill that leaves you numb.

A heart that once yearned for love,
of the promise that it can bring,
but yearnings perished long ago,
to become this sad and lonely thing.
Too old and too alone....
Joshua Phelps Sep 2023
I want to trade my days
Away for
Something better.

I want to let go
Of the light
So I can repair,

Falling in the
Black, desolate,
Void and

Stuck in this
Never-ending
Fixation on
Despair.

I wish I didn’t care,

But a part of me
That died left the
Feeling that lingers on,

And now I’m numb
and in disrepair.

With every new perspective,
I wish that I didn’t let the past
Pull me in every direction.

I know there’s no reason to
Focus on the matters

But all I see is old reflections.

Hearts drift away,
And I remember
Just like it was yesterday.

Memories are never
Gone, but sparks
Get crossed, and now I’m
dead and gone.

I wish I didn’t care.
I wish I could repair.

But right now,
I’m feeling numb,
And in disrepair.
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