My past is like a storm cloud following me

Lightning strikes my loved ones
So all they see are my mistakes

Thunder rumbles loudly
So all I hear are my failures

Rain pours down on me
So I can not see clearly

The cloud trails my steps so I can never escape
So I relive my regrets

Harsh winds blow in my direction
So I can not move forward

And my storm cloud stays dark and grey
Above my head, my happiness at bay.

Her memory is the most painful thing I willingly endure because the thought of forgetting is even worse.

Decades of lifeless cold
follow a brief summer
The stage at the end,
practically a walk of shame
Many eyes turn away,
a few painfully blank
A mere shell of a former person,
Deformed by sins and their blame

It's such a miserable thing,
he can't be saved anymore.
He's been swallowed heart and mind
Into the valley of hurt and despair
Alas, just numbing the pain
doesn't make a person whole
He might as well be a sinner now
How do you even wash away stains from a soul?

I wanted to write books
But the words wouldn't come
So I put down my pen to sleep
I wanted to say something
But whatever I said
Had been said long before me
I wanted life to be fun
But I lost track of time
As money became the key
I wanted to find love
I thought that I would
But that hasn't worked out for me.

Tell people that I broke your heart
that I never loved you,
not really
not properly
not in the way you needed

Tell people I left you high and dry
that I could have stayed
that I could have tried

Tell people you were right
but I hope you can’t sleep at night

Tell people what you need to
but I hope the memories never leave your side

Tell people the lies you tell yourself
but I hope the regrets eat you up inside