Wait wait and waiting
All hope seems like they're fading
It's just me and the night
And this thought wondering why
All through the night
All through the night

I'm not asleep but not entire awake
But what difference does it make
Whether you're drunk or you're sober
Doesn't change the fact it's over
I turned to my right hoping to see you under the covers
But you weren't there
Right, you were never there
Not anymore
I guess it's fair, but I just can't bear
Losing you so suddenly
I can't sleep
And I need you here with me
Be there for me
Even if I was never there for you

I guess that's true
And I'm sorry for that
You never realized what you had
Until it's gone just like that

And now you're gone gone gone away
Even before I got to say
That I love you, baby
And it's driving me crazy
All these regrets
Why can't I forget
It's messing with my head
Why is life always so cruel
Especially to angels like you
But there's nothing I can do

so one last toast to the good times
the last time we can unwind
i sometimes wish i can rewind
back to those days
back when we used to run away
you used to hid in this bale of hay
and we would wonder where'd you go
that was so long ago

and now you're all grown up
with all those responsibilites
livin it up
in that big ol' city
do you still remember all the good times
all the fun we had with the boys
remembering those still brings me joy

guess it's too late to be regretful
guess it's too late to say i love you
and now that you're gone
and as i write this song
i hope you're happy
i really do
i hope you're happy
happier than we ever were

You see? You love her.
When her heart was build with stones while you were a demon slowly becoming an angel.
But her walls were too high.
You loose hope and an angel reached out on you telling "Would you runaway from sadness?"
Then you walked away from the stone walls and renewed.
Her, had seen everything.
She was on the top of her castle, waiting for you to profess.
But you were already happy.
And she kept building her walls higher and higher.
Regrets have resented her.
Cause you see? He love you.

What is it about love that makes people so obsessed?
Love is a dangerous addiction
once felt entering your body, nothing can replace it

But was that love?
Or child plays dissembling ever puzzle piece inside of your body

He'll tell you he loves you
Just so that you won't feel guilty inviting him in
Body on body
His hand on your skin
Was this love?

Blinded behind what romance means
He took advantage because you were just a teen
Small and innocent
Craving affection from one who could provide
Not knowing he'll be the one to steal your precious innocence on the inside

He'll never know he is the reason you cried
He'll never know that every night you died

You felt like you were stabbed in your heart with a blade
Drowning in blood from every part of you body
From your toes to your brain

You felt betrayed
He never loved you
You had been played

Regrets were made
Not that you loved too much
But because he was an unwelcome, uncontrollable love that never stayed

A.C.

To the girl that creates an unrealistic realm of what love should be
Lady Grey Nov 8

I like to say “Goodnight” aloud,
Every night,
Before I go to sleep
(When I remember).

Not for myself, of course,
But for anyone,
Or anything,
That might be listening.

Not to God,
If that’s what you’re thinking,
Though I am open
To the possibility.

But rather,
To the demons of my day;
My little fears and regrets,
So that they might shut up,

And leave my dreams the fuck alone.

Something I actually do, the poem was inspired by a friend's writing
Ww Nov 7

I have always been the one
to never take the risks
one to play it safe
to snuggle where it fits

when time gave me
an opportunity to grab
Alas! afraid to lose
what i do not even have
I did not take it

I have always been the one
to take the safer bends
now, I'm stuck
just being her friend.

well, I didn't  lose something but nor did I gain, dammit!
Ww Nov 7

The greatest what-if
between you and me
stands dearer still
than what we have in reality

See, I never had the strength.
liv Nov 7

constantly training my brain
to not dread upon the past
and regrets
and the "should haves"
and the "what if's"
is tiring
when all my mind wants to do
is live in the past or the future
for the present is just too much to handle
so if only i could change the past
maybe things would be different
maybe i would be different

i can't help but live in the past, the present is over as soon as it comes

I will always be a woman of wounds

And maybe these wounds
Are the openings
My heart deserves

And the little dark secrets that it preserves
Are paths that only reserves
My heart's truest devotion

To be free
Free from myself
Only for me to go back to myself
And wash myself for myself

riwa Nov 5

if i were to die tomorrow,
would you wish that you had gotten the chance to kiss me one last time?
would you wish that you had forgiven me, and told me you loved me?
would you wish that we had had the time to fix things?

i think about this a lot, and i know that if you were to die (god forbid) i would regret not making sure you knew how much i love you

(6.11.17)
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