Second guessing my goodbyes
cursed us back in February
but now it is July.
Found myself hot and running
full sprint, shirt unbuttoned
back to you,
you are something.
Something to chase
and something to hold
a flame worth protecting
a memory, not yet too old.

It's been 5 years
but I still wish you'd touch me again
bring back life to my skin.
My eyes will grow wide like a deer's
blood rush to my ears!
For you I am prey,
and I hope you know, my dear
no one has ever seen me that way
never been permitted to stay
and to smell my humbling fear.

Losing people we love is tough
It happens eventually
that's true
I wish I could have had one more day
To tell you how much you mean to me how great you are &
enjoy another great conversation
Hear you laugh see your smile
I miss you Uncle Markie
Your friendship was so genuine
You lifted my spirits
You were so funny
So now I just sit and talk to you
and send my love to the sky
Send my love on a cloud to you
"Miss you ..
you woo woo **** tow truck driver" ..lol ..made you smile ..I hear you laughing ..

© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏💗 4/2023

The ones that leave us first,
Their uneven ground we ever tread.
Stumbling after each of them,
Wading through their wake.
But God forbid we take their path,
And fall hard upon such wasted life.
Fumbling for their left behinds,
Waiting for that great mistake.

Tom Lefort - May 2023

the next morning I couldn't even smell his hair on my sheets
after he had gone--
they're in and out faster than the last, and

this one was bony and frightened
of me like a wild animal and I tell him,
when he has been edging his skeleton fingers
just underneath my bra all night,
you can touch me,
I want you to.

but he can't bear it, and instead he blushes and
wraps his arms around me in bed.
he's never watched **** and I
pepper his chest with bruises that neither of us want and I
ask if he has ever *** in a girl's mouth
and he fumbles over his words,
and readjusts my comforter to shield himself,
from me.

I realize it and I tell him, I'm sorry, I'm a monster.
yes I've been fingered on park benches in public,
forced into sitting on a man's face and then into comforting him
when he realized what he'd done,
tied to this bed with rope and been ****** blindfolded,

and I'm, polluted, maybe, for that,
disgusted with myself, maybe, for that, but I'm

a monster because I've
sat waiting all night for you
to come home.

I don't know where to find myself,
Not lying on the bed, nor reading a book on the shelf.
This is all what I can think of searching
Maybe I lost it, and be permanently missing.

This morning’s sunrise was a tacky and artificial affair.
The sun was played by a weak, 12-watt, refrigerator bulb
that looked wet and heavy as it struggled uphill like a drunk.
The horizon reminded me of a cheap, runny theatrical illusion,
the clouds were old cotton ***** glued to cardboard silhouettes,
the birds sagged like dead puppets from uneven coat hanger wires.

I don’t miss you. Everything’s fine. I hardly noticed you were gone, actually.
Things here are a laugh and a half. We’re doing fun girl things. Anna got new shoes.
I’m hardened by years of inescapable, solitary, covid lockdown. I’m immune to despair.
So go off, interview for that new, far-flung PhD life. Go fawn over Elon Musk for all I care.
I’m definitely not in my room eating spoons of peanut butter and crying to Tom Waits songs.