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Egeria Litha Jan 31
The smell of matches
a clay *** full of butts and ashes
Light refracts off metal skyscrapers
overlooking Jersey City with your rolling papers
Smoking on the balcony
fuming tobacco and bad breath at 10 in the morning
what you did last night aged you 10 years
I see you through the blinds under covers
pretending to be asleep
I'm still not accustomed to losing my day
and living all night
but this how yall live your life
Rest in the day and work all night
Vampire squad proud of their clothes
they have a clothesline for their kind
you have to know the passcode
in order to purchase coke
you have to bring billionaires in the club
if you want VIP treatment at the show
and you better find
a gorgeous foreign female
to bring home
a girl chasing the dollar in a boy's eyes
"Are you going to pay my cab tonight?
We can go blow for blow, just make sure
I get to the airport tomorrow."
Beauty and perfection
Persuasion and possession
Fluorescent lights
lighting her *******
Why does the bathroom floor
seem so inviting for a breakdown?
Searching for another life
Black tears swelling from her made-up eyes
next, she's barred out in the backseat
driving through the Bronx safely
Of all the things I'd love to do.
I'd love to have a coke with you.
To watch your face light up full of joy.
The first sip that leads into another.
Soon as the cap snaps off
We'll drink until we can't any more.
Can't you imagine how fun that would be.
Imagining yourself as a coke.
The fulfillment of ultimate joy.
My throat no longer parched knowing that I've
had the one thing I've thought of all day.
How could anyone walk past you and not smile.
How could anyone pick you up and not want to carry you
around with them all day.
To be part of every experience
To see the rest of the world through the eyes of a smile.
Of all things I'd love to have a coke with you.
Imagining your smile the first sip after a long day
cozyjune Dec 2018
i usually know exactly how to start these
the poems i write when they leave
i usually know exactly how to dip the paintbrush in my tears and paint a picture forgiving myself for the pain i have felt

typically the right words flow from my fingers
but
i can't conjure up anything to ,,,,
i ******* miss you.

im not sure if this is to you or about you

you never knew but you was my rock
i aint never written out of anything but pain
off every drug in the world
and the name in my heart never change
i know you can't say the same
i know you never wanted me anyways

and **** that *****
yea the one you used to ride for
the one you'd probably die for
you may have a past with her
but i was gonna give you my future

what the **** do i even say..

you the high and the come down

i write your name in the leftover coke residue on the table then lick the powder off my fingers
swallowing back tears
humming along to your favorite songs

we was supposed to be big
you never knew that but fr
we was supposed to be big

you had me feeling like ****** sunshine
but ****
maybe i just aint shine bright enough

we both had our demons
and we knew we needed to heal before anything
but you was slaying mine one by one
and now this life i live is the hardest its ever been
and i wanna run to you
but you busy getting ****** up with your friends
or maybe you're with her
and maybe you was healing with me so you could leave and begin again
and thats ****** up
*** i could really have many men
and i got many friends
but baby aint none of them you.

i see god in your smile
and maybe thats why i sleep in the church parking lot when my mind sleeps with you
Cana Dec 2018
It is, I tell you, I promise.
It sits on my right, open and barely touched.
Pure condensation glittering on the outside
Chemical intoxication squatting on the in.

Charmingly Silver and a splash of red
the colour of an impulsive clown.
"Diet" it says, Im not on one.
"Coke" it says, Im not on that either.

why are you even here?
bored shuffles of a crazy.
A M Ryder Sep 2018
Coke on my gums makes the whiskey go down like water
And so I feel nothing

I'll destroy myself alone so nothing can hold me back
So no one says "Enough."
I won't blame you for not saying something
I won't blame you for not "saving me"
How I can't be happy that you're happy

My ancestors are all angels up way too high and probably disappointed in what and who've I become
But still I don't care, they're all dead
Those lucky *****

Daylight breaks and the dawn has come
So I guess I've been up all night

These words are the very breath of my demons
And I haven't heard from an angel in ages
Through the eyes of the beast in me, I've become friends with the abyss and it has politely invited me in

So another for the writer
Another bottle all by myself
To soak my soul
And drench any dream or hope of a happy life
I might have had left
Working piece that needs feedback, I found this in an old journal and I really see a gem in it.
Kewayne Wadley Aug 2018
I am crushing on you.
Constantly looking for the next time I see you.
Genuinely gathering the butterflies without further notice.
Curiously fluttering.
Stopping to rest but a moment.
Comfortably anxious.
Revealing jitters at the most intimate time.
At the slightest touch, noticing how fast time actually flies.
Bypassing the excitement of having you here.
The way you switch when you walk.
The way your voice gets lower easing into comfort.
The subtle gestures that come naturally.
Our lips in pause, hearts racing to catch up.
A coke drips in condensation.
Rolling faster down the side.
Refusing to slow down.
Sipped slow, quenching thirst.
Crushing the can in satisfaction.
On a day like today water won't do.
I need something stronger.
Something sweeter.
Coke bottle shaped and a smile.
I need you
'twas where
over her
lover and
this mother
if she'd
made love
to this
bother and
kicked her
spoon only
to dither
soon to
wither in
hope of
recovery that
her soul
kept jade
You're the Apple of my eye, the laces of my shoes, the breath of calm after an anxiety attack or heavy cry. You're the hand on my leg telling me I'm safe, the magnet which magnetised the needle in my homemade compass. You're the net of a dreamcatcher, the final **** after a long and exhausting hunt. You're the sensation of being warm and ***** after a cold and wet day out in the snow, you're the report card with straight A's. You're there toe beans of a cute cat and the contagious laughter of a newborn too naive to realize that everyone in the room is only laughing because they keep laughing harder, the positive feedback loop exhausted by cheeks too tired to smile and a diaphragm too used to move.

The sensation of being tucked in, but not too tight. The phenomenon of waking up in your bed because you passed out on the couch and your dad carried you in.

You're the dream where you fall in love and everything is perfect and great, but when you wake up you carry over that charm into your day to day life and everything starts to go your way. You're the fortune cookie with a fortune of the numbers 3,4,8,17,20,26,38,48,70 and the phrase saying "your long held-onto grievances will vanish soon, you will find your peace."

You are the learning, growing pupil of the Master of the Way. You are the concept of fairness and rightfulness, of non-ownership and laissez-faire government and home. You are the beacon, cooking a warm meal at the stove, so tuned into her world. You are the day dream, where the ordinary melts and the extraordinary takes over our surroundings and enchants our creativity while boosting and fanning that little flame in our hearts that keeps us going.

You are the first kiss of morning, with morning breath so stagnant from an unexpected ****** release at 4 am and an explosion of positive neurotransmitters, the development of trust in each other's arms. You are the attempt to synchronize heartbeats in a very tight spooning position. You paint the image of our energies moving in complex shapes before entering the other, circling inside and maturing, then entering back into the other. The ouroboros of emotion and trust and love.

You're what I see when I close my eyes, and you're what I want to see when I open them. You're the concept of someone I can truly let be. The independent, growing college girl with her whole life adventure ahead of her.

You're the angel on my shoulder which speaks to me words of reason and progress and helps me ignore this rotten goblin on the other shoulder. You're the voice I hear say "I really like them, honestly," when I see tracers in my vision.

You're a lighthouse in my mind. One safe thought, one place I can escape to for safety. But that's not really you, it's just my concept of you and my memories. But sometimes just that thought is enough to fuel it, because I'll be thinking of you more than I actually see you and I need to find the best way to deal with both.

I don't want to put you on some unreasonable pedestal and I don't think I have. I only truly mean like a third of what I said about the poetic "you are"s, because it would be unreasonably romantic to truly believe most of that. But I believe it in spirit and that's what matters.

You're the voice whispering me to sleep, and the reason I don't always have to wear ear plugs any more. You're the person I imagine running their fingers up my arms and into my hair when I watch ASMR vidoes. You trigger my ASMR and almost no one before you has been so successful in doing so. My body responds to you naturally in burst and quivers of euphoria and satisfaction, the curiousity of how you can pleasure and tingle me and how I can please you.

Rubbing your back and shoulders, popping your back ever so slightly, exploring the surface of your skin in every area. I want to learn and map your topography and dimensions and watch those change gradually over time as you mature into this yogi goddess with such a brain it's astounding.

You inspire me. You're such a hard worker and you're so much further than your circumstances could have put you. You're so strong Zo. Even if you feel like you're breaking sometimes, you're handling the pressure better than I ever could.

I'm grateful for my time with you, but I'm even more grateful for the peace you've helped bring to my tumultuous mind.

I hope you're getting just the most wonderful sleep. Dreaming of forgotten kindoms, songs never heard, places and euphorias never felt or synchronized with. You're a good person.
Thanks for putting up with my *******.
You make me feel like I'm in some fantasy sometimes. A story book with fairies and some perfect ending or no ending.
Azrapse Mar 2018
My feelings faded away
Now all I feel is blue
I wonder why I’m so down
I’m always high
It doesn’t make sense
So I try some **** that’s more intense
I live with a bottle glued to my hand
And I have bottles of pills on deck
These drugs I self prescibe
Just to make me feel alive
The liquor helps me smile
But it makes me feel more numb
This **** helps me think
But it makes me more dumb
This yay makes my whole life feel A’okay
But it’s really ******* up my brain.
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