Que llueva con rabia, sin clemencia.
Que apague con furia y aplaque el pavimento allá afuera.
La hoja que resiste en el arbusto, que brilla la madrugada.
Y que llore las calles y las lave,
y limpie,
y corroa,
y corte,
y sane la carne abierta.
Que alargue las distancias y las sentencias.
Que lapide, inunde y borre cada rincón que fue de nosotros y que, con arrogancia de amantes, le robamos al azar y al destino.

Que el cielo llueva el llanto que no he podido llorar.

Que restaure la separación de los cuerpos, y ahogue las risas, las miradas y los gestos. Que enfríe el vapor del cuerpo amado y enjuague el sudor del **** tibio.

Y entierre las huellas que unieron nuestros caminos. Que traiga el tremor del olvido.

Que pudra el amor mal amado del hombre cobarde, del hombre perdido.

I just know I'm weak.
And now I know that
and that it's not that unusual,
I now know it better.
Like when you get to know
someone in your life better.
Like your dad - adult to adult
and you find words
that better describe him
and in describing,
you find understanding.
So it's like that.
And now that I know it better
(the weak bit),
I find that I can bear it
better
just like my dad before me.

My son’s eyes have an innocent look.
Chocolate is the color of his lips.
Clothes once clean, are smeared with ****,
Or spotted by an ice cream cone that drips.

I’ve seen damage done both day and night,
Of a magnitude you’d never believe,
Done by my son while out of sight.
Destruction Patton could never achieve.

I love to hear him sleep, yet I know well
When he is awake, there will be sound.
He’ll make ‘music’ with horn, drum, or bell.
My son, when he plays, you know he’s around.

And yet, by heaven, I love to be with him.
Even if snot is crusted on his chin.

Your baked cheddar scented hands
and your newly thinned feet
Your trimmed hair strands
and your smile with teeth
I grew you inside,
always my baby you’ll be,
if I can keep you young

A crooked, watchful smile
and shoes on wrong feet
Singing along
and bruises on knees
I’ve known you the longest,
always my baby you’ll be,
if I can keep you young

If you need a hand
walking along an uneven surface
or help falling asleep,
you’ll always know that I’m there
caring so deeply
I grew you inside,
always your mommy I’ll be
If only I could keep you young

We hadn't heard from him for a year
He was destroyed
He looked unhappy
He was in the waiting room
Facing me
Full of guilt
He had really changed
He no longer took care of himself
He didn't even dare look at me
He just stared at the ground
It was sad
Sad to have been in a passionate relationship
Having a child with this person
Spending so much time with him
And now
we're complete strangers
As far as I'm concerned
I feel no pity
I know that when I really love someone
I'm capable of ruining their life
Especially when I feel betrayed
Today we were in court
He wanted access to Liam
Our son
It's a short step from love to hate
He dared to pick on me in front of everyone
And yes
He really has lost everything
And sadly I know he still loves me
But he makes me wanna puke
He made me lose confidence in all men
I doubt I can trust anyone again
I'm a believer
I know you have to learn to forgive
To be a good person
I try to do my best
But when it comes to my son
I pull out my claws
The day he's a man
He can see his son
Amen

Father please hear me, I have something to say,
These are my words, they won’t go away.
I have longed for them to be answered, day after day,
From the time I was a little boy
To the man I am standing here today
I am burdened with your silence like a heavy weight on my chest,
Living in your shadow
I have always tried to do my best.
Through every single failure
success,
Through every single fall
I have waited for something—anything at all.
Have I ever made you proud,
Do I belong?
Am I just guessing,
Was I always in the wrong?
I have looked in your eyes, they never would tell, they never would say, now you’re leaving, about to die today, I fear they never will,  I fear you won’t even try.
Still, I am here, if you are wondering why,  my heart is torn, a son who has waited since the day he was born, for a father‘s pride, a father‘s love, anything for his father to finally be proud of, but………..
Dad it is okay, if you have no words, If you cannot say, you’re proud of your son here today, then please take my hand, don’t let this moment slip away. I will always love you
Today tomorrow and yesterday.
R.I.P Stacey Lynn Stoops(DAD)
10/28/1954~08/2023

Feet firm on earth,
still chasing dreams
in a world now his own.

Sweat spills from strong pores,
forging currents of futures
he now shapes.

Tight embraces,
arms steady and sure,
a father’s pride made strong.

Wood and leather,
worked to tough threads—
faith stitched into his resolve.

Grass stains on knees,
still bending the world
to his will,
moved by purpose.

Anthems of hope
rise in his voice,
lifting his father’s soul
to love’s high planes.

The quiet secrets
of love and compassion,
once hidden by modesty,
are now lived out loud.

He follows his path
through shifting fields,
where once slick frogs slipped
through eager hands—

A world he builds,
a world he claims,
a world his father
now trusts to his hands.