Contrary to popular belief, Asians' vision isn't bad.
Our peripheral is actually better than everyone else's because we see widescreen.
We are also human calculators.
A+s in every math class we've ever taken.
But Engrish we don't speak good.
Don't forget we know karate, Kung fu, tae kwon do, jiu jitsu, Krav Maga.
That's right. We're born ninjas and samurais because they weren't supposed to be enemies.
Or from completely different cultures. You could totally be both.
Oh did you know we can also see into people's souls?
Why do you think we squint?
We are Tokyo drift drivers or the worst ones you've ever seen. Depends on the Asian you get. Depends on which version you want them to lean.
We are chinks.
Never the main characters. Quiet side characters.
Submissive side hoes.
Giggly school girls.
The ones that get left behind and abandoned.
The nerds that know everything.
Or the dumb ones that can't exist without being called a "bad Asian".
Or maybe the ones that work at nail salons and talk to you a bit too openly.
"Your cuticles are terrible."
"You get boyfriend yet?"
We're the "you didn't get an A? Aren't you Asian?"
The "oh no I'm in a car with an Asian driver".
The “white people wouldn’t play Asian roles if there were any Asian actors that could play them”
Or "She's shy in the streets but I bet we can get her to be a freak in the sheets".
Or "get an English name we can pronounce"
We "all look alike" because no one bothers to know how to tell the difference between us.
What kind of Asian are you?
Oh no no I wanna guess. Chinese?
Where are you from?
No, where are you REALLY from?
Sure I make Asian jokes because I learned to find them funny.
But the jokes don't justify stereotypes, insults, ignorance, or inequality.
They don't change the history of whitewashing or yellow face.
Washing away all aspects of Asian culture from a role or movie so that it's not insulting when a white person is cast.
White actors wearing our stereotypical features as masks with fake crooked teeth and taped eyelids to get that signature Asian squint.
Side note: eyelid tape is also (coincidentally) a beauty product Asians use to get their eyes to look bigger.
There's even skin bleaching products because even in Asia, whiter is prettier.
I make Asian jokes, but they don't make me forget our oppression.
The Chinese were the first specific ethnic group to be denied immigration into the US.
The Japanese were put in internment camps for being Japanese.
Just the fact that there was a Japanese and Korean Exclusion League.
Asian jokes don't undo any of this.
But their consistency created the illusion of equality.
Equality through comedy receiving no apology.
I'm just a piano prodigy, fluent in rocketry, solving math problems flawlessly, able to write Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese calligraphy perfectly.
But wash me away.
Asians are practically Caucasian so forget the country your phone was made in.
This was the very first slam poem I've ever written or performed.