A word comes out
screaming at me
from the blank page.
Unwritten and unsaid till now
it no longer wants to stay
in the white void of mute inarticulations,
but as it leaves the snow-like sheet,
it refuses to show itself to the world
and merges in the
unseen sky of infinite expressionlessness

We clanked our wine glasses together
Suits for the occasion
And I tried to remember the names
Especially the ones who’s faces I recognize
One man in particular looks older than I remember, with a haircut far too young
Talking all about
The deal of the last year
Maybe a Christmas bonus this year
So he can go home to his wife
“Look honey we can buy another car”
And maybe this time she won’t sleep
With the neighbor
I shake his hand hard because the poor old ******* needs something
And maybes its this extravagant event
gus like me shaking his hand firm enough
That he knows he’s important somewhere
And we are all impressed where his hard work and loyalty got him

on a black and white background I walk
i walk on black grass and black
I watch the sky when I watch

in black and white background I walk
I walk treading on my old shoes
my new but I still go

here and in the sky a gray moon appeared
and her glance does not surprise me
and she is just like everything completely gray

14.12.18

White night, frothy light,
Moon wears a mischievous smile;
Take a deep breath, wait!

Merwin saw lions in China.
I found a chessboard on the ceiling.
I saw a ****** in a caterpillar's arms
Cradled like a child.
I found no rabbit
But I did find Alice.
The caterpillar claimed innocence
And I hope he's right.

The white knight never piped up form above,
He never took a step.

I think I'm losing the game.
Chess was never my thing,
But then, dead people were never my thing,
And here I am
And here she is
regardless.

Those of old saw meaning in the stars.
The stars in her eyes are too cold to hold any
meaning.
I can't decipher my next move from her eyes.
Stars make terrible chessboards.

I don't think I want to play this game anymore.
Alice is offputting
And the wonder has left
Wonderland.

Merwin saw lions in China.
We never made it that far.

Love me forever or not at all. You are either drought or
you are ocean. I am begging you to make up your mind.
Do not wrap your hand around my throat unless you intend
to finish the job. Tell me I’m pretty or spit on me before you go.
You say, you aren’t going to like this, babe, and I tell you to
hit me with your best shot. Burn me alive but make the flame
last, sweetheart. I am bored with this short term love and you
are either going to ruin me or **** my wounds forever. You
can leave if you want, but make it hurt before you do, give me
something that will last, give me a scar to remember you by or
do not touch me at all. See, I want this long term ache more than I
want your short term love. Touch me; leave your violence on me,
touch me hard or do not come near me at all. There’s a love some-
where that will stay, but you’ll find it on Jupiter, you’ll find it tucked
into a young star’s gut, you won’t find it here, you won’t love me
forever. Leave for Jupiter, sure, but take my heart with you. Bury
me in your love or let me dig my own grave. I am not a man of
many hearts and so if I give you this one, I won’t take it back. Hold
it forever or crush it under your foot. This is a dead end, and don’t
I know it? Love me forever or not at all, do not leave my clothes
on your lawn, do not let me in if you are going to push me out,
give me your heart or do not offer to hold mine.

White Head Phones
Blue head band
Wearing the shirt I bought her

Golden earrings
Golden wrist watch
As Golden as the sun

Feigning ignorance
In the face of romance
I think I like her

Wouldn't you?