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jia m 8h
i have a lot of friends,
they make me laugh and cry,
but why do i still feel alone?
i want to find out why.
Níla 18h
It makes you cry and leaves you sad
But you like the salt and you love the mad
Jay M 22h
Take me away
Far away
To a land of wonder

Soon, I beg,
Soon, I plea,
Lift me up
Dear family...

Hated by the blood,
I know,
But family of soul
Please don't let me go...

- Jay M
October 21st, 2019
irises 1d
wasted
are the nights
without those late night drives

you know,
the ones where the streetlights glow like nearby stars
and the bass of that song you don't really know the words to
ripples through your chest just to make you feel something real

the ones where the laughter of those around
fills you up inside after everything has been emptied from you.

those.
driving with friends saves my soul sometimes.
Casey 1d
UwU
It's not your fault.
Whatever you're thinking about blaming yourself for, It's not your fault.
I know it may sound dumb and obvious, yes, but I want you to know
it's true.

These words are now yours,
this poem is for you.

And if you must draw things against your skin,
make it a pen and not a blade.
Create something so beautiful that it would make you sob to destroy that.
Because that's <i>you</i> and you're beautiful.

Everyone glorifies being stoic and strong,
I want you to know that you don't have to be strong to make them happy.
It's okay to simply just
be.

These are my favorite words that I've ever been told,
so now I'll tell them to you:
I love you. You will survive yourself.

No one can tell you who you are,
because only you know.
And that's a beautiful thing.


Stay proud, my friend.
Be you.
For my UwU boi
~ Caz


Sidenote: holy fricken-snackin, it's literally taken me a week to upload this because my internet *****, i'm so sorry.
12
It takes twelve minutes for me to arrive
So if I come over, is that alright?
I know it's late
And I’m in such a state
But, baby, I need you tonight
The artists impartiality
Of their craft's integrity
Is their profound gift
May it set us all free-
& Vanquish all anxiety.

When each page is blank, and book empty
Its full with potential's entierity.
Our real gift is sweet opportunity
To create and contrive
Fearlessly.

Its in our art we become who we wanted to be
With truthfull eyes we garentee
That you'll one day begin to see

The artist's impartiality.
Grace & Reem
devine 4d
i went out
explored the city
met some friends
the sky was pretty

my mouth shut
tried to keep myself busy
but the road ends
now i’m just all filthy

such a waste of time
with me
why did they lie
and agree

everybody is speaking to me
and shutting me out
at the same time

everybody is a reality
and a place to hangout
at the same line

it’s all heavy
too hard to carry

i tried
i really tried
to be everything you want
to be everything i taunt
to believe in my broken heart

but the door’s blocked
and my eyes closed
at the end, it doesn't matter.
Shadow friends dance at the edge of my vision
Somehow I convince myself that I'm with them
We smile and laugh but I'm still empty
Somehow I'm lonely when you're here with me

My rainbows fade into cloudy grey
I'm begging my shadow friends to stay
But night will fall and take you from me
And I will remeber that I am lonely

I'll walk in the dark, where I cannot see
And think up thoughts which swallow me
I'll bend until I break, like I'm made of glass
Good things placed in my hands do not last

My shadow friends are gone, and I'm all alone
My life is built up in this shadow home
Where I let tears fall, and I wallow in my pain
How I wonder what it feels like to be sane
Juliana Oct 11
I've been really, really anxious lately.
Like, there's this giant knot
In my chest.
And I just keep tugging
And tugging
But it won't loosen.

It keeps getting tighter
Like a noose.
I can barely breathe.
My heart is pounding louder
Then my thoughts.

I don't know if I
Just can't hear them,
Or if they're not there
At all.

My old dance company,
It no longer exists.
To put it short,
They finally got their new name.
Elements.

Maybe that's what I feel.
Elements.

There's fire.
In my heart.
Anger, I guess.
A lust for movement;
For joy.
Waiting to be filled.

But at the same time,
I'm full of ice.
Shivering.
Like a rat in a storm drain.
Is that all I am?

I miss the Earth.
Being outside.
When I was a little kid,
Now, I'm sorry, this is gross.
When I was a little kid,
And I'm talking like one or two.
I used to be that kid
That would lick ants off of rocks.

Like one time,
And we have it on film.
One time it got so bad that
I had to take an outdoor shower.
My mom hosed me down
right in front of the big tree
outside my apartment.

Now I can't even listen to
The rain,
Without gagging.
The stench.
That terrible stench.
Worms are worse
then rotting corpses.
I can handle week-old roadkill
With the windows open.
But a summer storm
Will nauseate me.

I miss when I was a little kid,
And water made me happy.
I miss being happy.

Elements.
It's bittersweet.
Not like dark chocolate strawberries sweet.
Like, the world is crumbling at my feet,
but at least I have you sweet.
Like, you make the sourest moments
Into the brightest ray of sunshine.

There is nothing I love more than you.
There is no one I love more than you.
I had no idea that I would miss
dancing so much.
That I would miss
You so much.

I am trying to make friends.
I am.
I am trying to find a family.
But what's the point?
You. You are my family.
I feel like ****,
Thinking that I could ever replace you.

But what else can I do?
I can't go back.
I told myself I could.
I told you I could.
I told you I would.
But I lied.

I can't predict the future.
When I promised you,
My love, when I lied to you,
I thought nothing would change.

But you changed your name.
You moved away.
And I did too.
And now I don't have the courage
to face you again.
I said goodbye.
And maybe that was a mistake,
But it's too late for me to change my mind.
I can't turn back the clock.
Just like you can't turn back yours.

Without you,
I am so lonely.
I am so ******* lonely.

I miss your hugs.
And the smile they'd bring to me.
If I could wrap up those emotions,
And sell them by the bottle,
I'd be able to buy a plane ticket
And fly to you.
Just to get another hug in person.

If I could just get one text back.
A single text.
It would mean the world.

And you,
If you could stay off that phone
For one minute.
And talk to me instead of him,
Show me any ounce,
Of that empty, empty word.
Maybe I could try to find
Its meaning again.

I feel like a rectangular peg,
Shoving myself into a circular hole,
And I've tried to file myself down.
I've tried to fit.
But I am never going
To be a circle.

I've looked for things to replace you.
Other groups I can
shove my attention into.
They all just tighten the knots.
Each one grabs a piece of string,
Tugging every single direction,
Each wanting me to snap.

Maybe the world is just too
Dark for me to ever get
A good picture.

Maybe I haven't lived in one
Dark enough to turn it into light.

Maybe I'll never be good
Enough for poetry.
Just like I was never
good enough for you.
My picture wasn't good
Enough in the air,
So I tried taking one myself.
And I tried again.
And again.
And again.

They all seemed so nice.
But I don't even know their names.
I could never reach out to them.
Get to know them as I've known you.

I have never felt so alone
In my life.
In a room filled with people,
How could I be the only one there?
In an empty room,
How can so many eyes
Be staring at me?
Just waiting
For me to make another mistake.
To **** up.
Again,
And again,
And again.

For I'm just a child,
Starving for attention.
And I've never even heard of this game.

I go to sleep every night,
Hoping, praying,
To wake up.
In my own bed.
My dog at my feet.

I want to go back to the studio.
I want to hug you all,
One by one.
Promise that I will never
Fall asleep again.
I want to wake up from this nightmare.

I want her to make us a beautiful dance.
I want to see her smile.
A coffee in hand,
Light radiating out of
Every atom in her body.

I want to forget again,
And be scared shitless
Of disappointing you.
I want to put all the hate
I have for myself onto you.
I want you to hate me,
So that I don't have to.

I want to go back to that
Purple dressing room.
With the masks on the walls.
When that room still had a sense of calm.
I want to sit down on the white bench,
And look at you atop the window.
I want to see your smile.

I miss tapping.
Being loud.
Making noise.
I want to make sound,
Without that sound
Being annoying.

Because after every
Word I say,
I want to claw out my
Vocal cords,
And never return.
I want to be silent again.

I want to see your face,
When I finally felt free.
I wish I could go back.
I wish I could say yes.
I wish I hadn't said goodbye.

I want to pull into that
Parking space.
Overlooking the pond.
I want to go back to that day,
Where I sat on a donkey.
And you on the branch.
And we laughed.
And we played.
Like little kids.

I miss the cheeseburgers
We ate at Culver's.
I miss exploring the theatre.
Hiding behind the door,
That we could never look inside,
And trying not to fall
Down that platform
Near the stairs.
Because we didn't shy
Away from fun
Just to avoid getting hurt.
I wish I could let myself get hurt.

I want to fight with my sister.
To prove to her that dance is more
A sport than soccer ever could be,
I want to sit in her room,
And pretend to care about whatever's
On the television,
Just so I can see her face.
And hear her voice.
And feel her presence.

I want to watch television
With Dad.
I want us to talk
About something other than science.
I want to go on a walk.
Look at the stars.
I wish you would have
taken me camping.
Because I was wrong.
I did want to go.
I do want to go.

I miss seeing all of you
At the benches
Before school started.
I miss my locker,
And how you would write me notes.
I miss you grabbing my phone every time
I looked away,
And filling up my storage
With useless videos
That I cannot stop watching.

I miss loving the people I'm with.
I miss happiness.
And it hurts.
Because I knew things would change,
I did.
But I didn't know
That nothing would be the same.
I just want something to be the same.
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