maxine 19m
i hear a lyric of you in every song
i see you in every restaurant at every table
in every passing car
in every movie theater and grocery store
but you're not really there
not anymore
i've always had a hard time letting go
but i've never experienced something like this
i talk about you like a lost love
i feel you like a gunshot
you weren't a muse
but you were the pain behind every word
you occupy my mind more than i'd like to admit
i miss you when i shouldn't
your smell haunts me along with sad violins
the things we never got to do together
the movie list we never finished
all of the empty promises
broken mugs
ripped pictures
i never got to congratulate you on graduating
or take you to disneyland
you don't know what my new dog looks like
or that i got my first tattoo
i don't really know you anymore
and you don't know me
and i think that makes me more sad than anything
that the person i spent every minute with is someone completely new
i also never got to say thank you
for all of your hugs
the music you showed me
the jokes we had
the times you really did save my life
the times you gave me the reality check i needed
and the times you cleaned my self-inflicted wounds and told me you loved me, you'll never know how much that meant to me
you'd be happy to know i'm two months strong
or would you?
do you even think of me?
i never got to apologize
for the unintentional mean things i said
and the intentional mean things i said
the times i ripped your curtains down
or screamed because i was afraid of losing you
the times i went overboard
all of my unwarranted apologies for feeling inadequate
my jealousy
which have all resulted in losing you
which isn't all my fault
but i'm no innocent bystander
so like i said
i miss you
everything about you
and us
but it all happened for a reason
maybe we were a flame waiting to be blown out
but my love is still there
and even though i won't reach out
and i know you never will either
and the realization that this is the end has set in
i still love you
and miss you
and you'll never fully understand your impact
whether it was good or bad
you were someone that molded me
that changed my course of life
and who knows where i'd be if you hadn't broke my heart
so here's to us
and 2 years of friendship that we never got to celebrate
but God knows i thought about you all day
because i'm sad
and lost
and don't know where to go from here
but i guess this is a start
with my hands typing away
as my heart sinks
and i listen to a playlist that reminds me of nothing but you and our car rides
it's a start
so this isn't goodbye
but a mere remembrance of you
and all of the great things
along with the bad
because maybe if i continue to write to and about the ghost of you
the tears on my pillow will dry faster.
i am well aware the title of this is also the title of a fall out boy song, that was intentional but all credits go to them if that's a thing?
this is about losing my friendship with best friend of two years, it's going to be a long recovery process, sorting through the good, bad, etc...
sorry i've been gone so long, life has been busy, BUT writing is my first love and i think with going through such treacherous heartache i should turn to it rather than bad things. much love xx
as always, i hope someone gets something out of this or even just thinks it's nice.
I wonder to the bar and see lipstick
tags holding on to lonely sticks.
A stirring of moments, melting pots of
relaxing reflection they called it dove.
As your worries fly away with everyone
you have, and then I'm served and done.

Collecting my shuffling skills to weave
the ocean of others, our drinks we've
been able to keep from sinking on others.
Thirsty friends awaiting our return, like
maidens on the shore, smiling a dislike
for a wrong drink brought. acting childlike.

But he holds no argument as butts lay
static. We were the sailors escaping the spray.
Telling them of our journeys and sights seen,
mouths a gasp at observing a beautiful scene.
A number taken with but a glance of smiling
eyes and with a drink brought clearly willing.

He knows that is for another time, as the street  
we surrender to. As hunger outweighs sweet
perfumes enticing friends to anchor away from
needing mates. Aromas perforate a needed outcome,
handing over spare change to fulfil a nights hunger.
Laughing as were old, never wishing we were younger.

As wisdom teaches that a fish may swim,
but to much of a good thing can end in a whim.
So one must always leave a little in a glass,
for we need not want our slumber to be on grass.
Awoken in our beds slighty misty eyed but
a nice number in the phone and in my pocket a peanut?
we said we'd be friends forever,
but now you're holding him
before you hold me.

i guess "friends first"
just wasn't for you.

i still tell you everything,
but the trust has vanished.

and after all,
what's friendship without trust?

i act like everything is fine,
though i know what's wrong.

i'm your shoulder,
i'm your best friend,
but you are just an empty friend.
I was never such a huge fan of flowers.
But I have to say,
my mind has been changed.

Now for Mexican Petunias,
I stop and stroke the leaves,
and I savor the memory,
of the feeling,
of your hands,
passing that flower to me.

Now every night, I'm waking,
and fearing I've lost your gift-
(now, dried) petals of a plant I don't know the name of.

Sometimes, when I remember the love for flowers that you gave me,
I have to steer myself away from the pain of pondering,
because I know, despite love given and felt, you do not return it.

"Mutual attraction,
mutual affection."
are not in our vocabulary.

I was never such a huge fan of flowers,
not until I saw you see them,
and until we held them.

Now every flower reminds me,
"That ought to go to 'he'."

Now, 'he' is very far away,
but I will pick them along the way.
Because eventually we will cross each other again.
I sure hope my collection of flowers, then, will make him grin.

I was never such a huge fan of flowers until he came along.
"I know you will never love me, but I think I may love you. Forgive me (for hoping you love no other)!"

Kiui 15h
it was at the age of twenty one
where I learnt that people change

it was at the age of twenty one
where I bid goodbye to my youth

it was at the age of twenty one
where I realize that my BFFs are acting strange

it was at the age of twenty one
where I learnt the truth

that this year
I'm celebrating my birthday alone
Time has passed,
Dreams are forgotten,
We've all chased them,
But never have caught them.

Regret will stick to us,
It never will fade,
We'll try to teach them,
But they'll never behave.

Risk has passed,
Opportunity with it,
We think we'll last,
Until we're not winning.

We thought we knew best,
Hiding away,
Never to hear,
That small voice in our brain,

Pushing to act,
Screaming to talk,
We just ignore it,
And end up to walk,

Slow and alone,
Thinking of people,
Sitting on thrones,
But still stuck in our zone.

We have to get out,
Leave all the pain,
You won't know love,
Until you can say,

You've tried everything,
Walked every path,
Felt every sting,
Seen every scathe.

Take the risk with you,
Make it your friend,
The end is too soon,
Don’t stay in your bed,

Thinking of people,
Dreaming of love.
You’ll never know the feeling,
Cause you’ll always run.
Forget the contingencies and do whatever you have to do because the thing that we fear the most is often the thing most beneficial for us :)
Myself 1d
I am stuck.
I want to tell you everything, but I can't.
I fear that you are doing so well without me and I'm happy if that's so.
I think to myself what if he doesn't miss me?
I want my friend back.
I want our unquestionable love and care for one another back.
Please come back.
she uses smallish words
medium, i guess
she wears converse
and she’s nice, i guess
she’s funny
and she cares
she’s stylish,

and i love her
but she doesn’t know
to what extent
i guess
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