Sparkling
Shimmering
Shaping
Enchanting
Intertwining
Diving
Freely
Dancing
Stars
Moon
Glowing
Blowing
The nights kisses...
Good nights,
Goodbyes

I was so ignorant most of my life.
Seeing what you expected from me without the care of what to expect from myself.

I fought a losing battle;
crawled on my knees and broke my nails to earn your acceptance-but I was always not the piece in your puzzle.
Love and hate was no question to your concern.
One minute we are okay and the next you smile;
out of care, love, or appreciation-no,
because I was the joke;
The fool that will never match up to your standards;
Too pathetic for not being cool enough like you and willing to get where I want without the knowledge and concern of hurting others.
Well my conscience is too strong to allow myself to be like you,
I'm too humble.
I kept on to you because I was afraid of being alone.
I kept on to you and refused to let go even though I was hurt.
I loved harder even where it hurts the most
because I thought that my sole purpose was to fit in.

My love and appreciation was not appreciated.
My loyalty was not good enough.
The disrespect and shame you labelled me as will never change no matter how hard I try.
We were not cut out to be pasted on the same artwork,
however we are in the same world and share the same space, therefore I am choosing to let the fight go.

If things would get bad
“Push it to the pack of your head”
But I will never forget
Bad memories, Bad karma, Bad friends
But I will never regret
Bad things, bad dreams
It's bad in my head
Repeat something over and over
And we forget what it means
This time around
when they said you were bad for me
A bell did not ring
He hit me once
Twice
Ding ding ding
He is bad
But it means nothing to me
M.D

i think i'm doing fine but my friends think otherwise
i only called you once yesterday
and thrice today but that was only because i had to make sure you were still there
because last time i had called the phone cut out cause you went through a tunnel


my friends say i need to open my eyes but aquarians are dreamy types and i broke my glasses so what difference does it make if i’m sleeping anyways?
i'm 20 years old and that's not a lot
boys think i'm cute
but they think my friend is hot
cause she ******* is

i keep getting high and redownloading tinder
when i'm home alone in my living room
with the office on repeat and my cats
attacking my feet

meanwhile i'm getting annoyed because i'm just trying to eat
and everyone keeps telling me i need some thicker meat
on my bones
and telling me i should watch my texts
and to call if it involves **** or ***


my best friends are sleeping together
i wish i could make this thing between us better
but you kind of **** dude
and i’m sorry but i don’t think i can talk to you
without being rude so..
i guess i don’t really wish to change things after all

‘one medium coffee, plain and simple’ says the man at the counter
he’s the dad of my friend from elementary school
and i’m spilling the coffee and hoping he doesn’t recognize me
and i’m getting flustered
and he’s asking the total and pulling out his iphone
cause you can pay with those things now
and you don’t have to sign the receipt
and i mumbled ‘have one’
and i meant to say ‘have a good one’ and i try to repeat
myself but he’s walking away now
and he’s already through the door and i’m still standing here
trying to get the words right
talking to myself
and i’m sure he probably thinks i’m an idiot
and he’s probably glad his daughter switched friend groups in fifth grade
because she found people who liked musicals more than me
and they sang and danced at recess while i sat and read
and he’s probably glad
yeah he’s probably glad we’re not friends anymore
we’re not friends anymore

The fear of your own flesh
The skin that cages you helplessly
As a fish frozen inside a lake
Banished from the sunsets lovely

Cold, stagnant and painful
The knowing your body is raw
Sorrow one could only feel in dreams
Just as fearful as knowing it’s wrong

Skin caging us so tightly, like
The potatoes your aunt used to peel
Sitting in your grandmas chair
The memories of when you were better

A child riding a half broken bike
Figuring out how to get the jelly jar to seal
Putting up and braiding long hair
Writing important Christmas letters

Now all that fills you is worry
Your family cant understand the
Skin they gave you isnt fitting
And all you can explain is because

Because it’s how you grew up
Because it’s how you’ve become
Because your head was never ******* on right
And now you fear being alone

Now all that you are is someone
Your family doesn’t know but I swear
As you explore on your own
You find people who love and care

They love and care and hold you
Peeling potatoes of their own
And together you watch the sunset
As you explore you wont ever be alone