I knew her when
She learned her letters;
She liked me too.

We shared a tent;
Followed the sparks fading in the full moon's face.
Draped water over our skins at midnight.

She bickered with her mother,
Whom she mothered today.

She once had a mole
Only we two knew.

I knew her then.
That's the fact of it.

She rebelled,
Then surpassed naysayers and detractors.
I knew her, then.
Got to know her at her best-
A sharer, and keeper,
One who wasn't one to rest.

I knew her without discretion;
Like when she partied at Mardi Gras,
Wearing string-beads, blowing saxes,
Something she never spoke of.

Then, this cannot be her.
I knew her, and,
I didn't know.

Im sitting in the car
Trying to think out another bar
Have I come to the end
What's become thus far
...Writers block
Still no juice pumpin
No ideas jumping
No thinkers dancing
Just standing & glancing
Just searching & searching
Lurking & yearning the higher thinkin
I get to rolling
Get this shit  going
I'm blowing
This shit
Oh shit
Help me ..
I can't breathe;
Gardner I hear you too
Because I can't fucking breathe
21 but lungs 50
These bills got a choke hold on me
So I let go with some weed
Here's some sugar for this tea
sally Mae is to greedy
Like college is to family
Like Family beating down on me
For this degree
Spent two years for a degree
In a logic I learned to disagree
I had to finally be in the tea
To see the bitterness in me
So here's to the sugar in my tea
Mary is to me
Like Mary is not to family
All because of a little weed
I admit it's what I fein & need
I feel the need  
To not need what I feel
Then it hits me
it's too real
Life hates me
She's out to kill
My minds hazy
can't stand still
My soul is taken
Taken to hell
Cs when I get to thinking
I cant prevail
Words left unspoken
& so many more to tell
Dwelling in a heart that's been broken
but none of that matters when I'm smoking
So here's an ode to Mary
for lifting me off my feet
& emptying a heart so heavy
For all the happy highs  given at my saddened lows
With a cheery smile & eyes a glow
I truly owe.. this ode to Mary
                                             -G

You go on and on about how I have changed.
But then,
name someone who stays the same forever.

You go on and on about how I've disappointed you.
But then,
name someone who doesn't have a fault.

You go on and on about how I don't take friendship seriously.
But then,
name someone who doesn't know the importance of friendship.

I. AM. HUMAN.
Yes, I have changed.
Yes, I may have disappointed you. (I don't live for you and only you.)
Yes, I know the value of real friendship.
But what about you?

It's people like you, people you've loved and trusted the most, that end up doing the most damage to you.
You didn't think I would find out about you going behind my back.
You didn't think I would find out about the manipulation.
You didn't think I would find out about several things.
And you know what, I'll wield my tongue against you.
No longer will you take my silence for granted.
I will betray my philosophy of 'It's better to walk away than to fight blood and tooth in a battle where the victor is right.'

I'm sorely disappointed in you because you became your reflection, of everything you said you would never be.
Hence why in my eyes, you were never real to me.
Even if I were to confront and tell you this, I know that any
apology that I get from you is meaningless.
You aren't genuinely sorry, but sorry that I discovered the truth from a yellow-teethed, snot-nosed, two-faced rat that you love so dearly.

Granted, the unspoken truths and half-lies have taken care of the past. But it has dawned to me, in the present...

that it will have no future

By Arcassin Burnham


Heaven knows,
My struggles and my agonies.
Heaven knows,
My struggles and my agonies.

Loneliness and focusness provokes thought,
Sweat on your face for the friends that you sought,
Don't spend the rest of your life in a box,
Looking for love in the wrong places need to stop,
It's so easy to fit in with people like you,
Ain't a time for wishing and hoping a virtue,
Boyfriend's and girlfriends that'll​ straight hurt you,
It'll be a second when your world ends turning you so cruel,

I just say just don't hang with people that peerpressure and leaves you out
High and dry,
If trust is trust and fake is fake , they must be synthetic to what they think is
Your demise,
If it's not one thing then it's definitely another but the first thing's a lil' more
Dangerous,
There is so much fake in the world they might just sacrifice your body and
Just come up famous,

So who needs friends?
Might be the Devil in the disguise,
Might be an under cover cop,
Turn on you in the blink of an eye.


/

Dropping like seagulls in the sea,
people are dying everywhere help us please,
suspicions about the world since seventeen,
I never had a dad around , can't control me.

while all the girls,
while all the girls,
don't see reason.
while all the boys,
while all the boys,
don't like being told what to do.
And all the eye catchers , they walk around without being *,
you better take someone's hand in desperate need and say what you* have spoken,
And all the eye catchers,* pretend like the world revolves around* them.
Theres always something in this world that is worth living for but you gotta live for them.

Spare me the ignorance if you please,
i never conquered a problem just with ease,
interest in words stem from the giving tree,
I'm not a violent person just don't judge me.

while all the girls,
all the girls,
don't see reason.
while all the boys,
while all the boys,
don't like being told what to do.
And all the eye catchers , they walk around without being noticed.
you better take someone's hand in desperate need and say what you have spoken,
And all the eye catchers,* pretend like the world revolves around* them.
Theres always something in this world that is worth living for but you gotta live for them.

we fell like a swell of rising seas, swarming the capitol city:
D.C., a bastion of vitriol, bigotry, and inequality.
we were demonstrating in the streets when she kneeled on the concrete,
a bit of scarlet chalk treasured in the palm of her hand. all around,
people were dancing, singing, laughing. she smiled to herself and peered
over at me when she thought i wasn’t looking. a paisley red bandana hung
from her neck like some outlaw out of the wild, wild west,
challenging all authority. grim cops looked on, faces obscured
by matte-black helmets, guarding the twisted tower looming over our globe
like an ancient deity out of time and space, a leviathan effacing the world.
she etched a symbol of defiance and solidarity into the cement and, in that moment,
she embodied anarchy, the mother of order, a guiding north-star.

xxx

Turnover spills from the speakers. she hums along, her foot on the dashboard, tap-
tap-tapping along in-tune, attuned to the road, nose buried in an Angela y Davis book.
North Carolina interstates fly past us and i wonder absently
if the words hit home for her, too:
losing you was like cutting my fingers off.
you can catch a glimpse of grief
in her eyes if the morning light’s just right,
filtering like a double-shot of caffeine into your bloodstream
through the forest canopy flanking the highway.
you can feel the melancholic heart-ache lingering
like old wounds even time can’t seem to heal whenever she forces a smile
and pretends to be—if not happy—then at least “alright.”

xxx

authenticity is our only refuge against the creeping ennui,
the choking vise-grip of social hierarchy. how seldom do we rise
like lions from slumber? shake off these chains of misery.
empathy leaves us crippled constantly, wishing we were dead—
believe me, i share your burden. it’s been said that our integrity
is the very last inch of us, small and fragile. yet, within that inch,
we are free. so, braveheart, find your feet. this dying world so desperately
deserves a love as beautiful as yours, yearning to set the captives
against their masters. and when we shake the streets once again,
pirouetting beneath a banner slashed with black and red,
beloved, do not forget that you, too, are endlessly adored.

My thoughts are misled,
you're keeping my anxiety fed,
but I'll be with you
until this war ends.

My meal has lost its flavour,
bleak and plain,
my mind's geometry is denial
as I picture blood stains

How can I forget
you begging me for a way home?
No, not just yet, I plead
I won't leave you alone

And now my temples throb
as I seek the evidence
fighting against your decadence.
I can't find the key to
unlock my sanity,
so I grab a bobby pin,
but concern plays my mind
like a howling violin.

- Crimsyy

From east to west
I've seen the best
Moss on a stone
Contacts on my phone

I’ve meet friends
Knowing it all ends
Moving
Proving

That I can restart
But keeping the one that's in my heart
She will always be there
A coat my heart wears

For when it gets cold
In this void
She will be there
To warm the air