I feel inspired.
Inspired to write about the man in line who I do not know, but I do know.
Friends, strangers, & self.
So well acquainted as a seamless stich.
I smile.
Hand touches arm.
The endearing laugh of an unfamiliar sound, but I hear you so well.
Faces around turned and gauged in.
Gravitation pull, loneliness lost in the open.
Closed by the proximity of our spaces colliding.  
Today, a stranger saved me at the sound of hello.

Little dots of light
In the endless void
Too far for my reach,
They come and go, leaving me



Alone



Sometimes in groups, sometimes just one
Little dots of hope, little ***** of light
Dancing they go, where? I don’t know
But unlike me, they’re not



Alone



But one time i tried my luck
And jumped towards the dots
Enveloped by light, they dance
Why don’t they flee? Why don’t they run?

They gently caress my soul
Sea of light fills me whole
Because the dots were never fleeing
I just hadn’t come close
And thanks to them, I’m Alone
No More

The scholars say
all scorched green land
soon grows back
twice as grand
well if thats the truth of it
my lover foiled her own ****** plan
it just takes a little rain
on a red-dawn day
to sprout into the fray again

All fickle friends decay
when the shot at redemption
is just a days grace away
they leave behind what should be said
within the prisons of their heads

The manic depressive
does not believe
in the holy-light of love
if his brain can not conceive
but each day he survives
is one day closer
to what his heart contrives

The proud atheist derides
with a rational mind
all priests demise
but my dear friend,
if you think that silence
is waiting around the bend
you will soon contend
that dark, stark trend
when your mind lends
all futile shields to fend.
You’ll see your spite
split betwixt delight
that which all knowing monks commend
and which your soul will soon amend;
that Death is not the end

Crooked
shadows, lonely figures
yellowed pages, splotched ink
broken promises littering nostalgic
lanes down the river of green and grey.
Reduced to this pile of letters some drizzle later
dust, wet, and so so bitter.

She dreams of the ideal man,
   but the suitor idolizes death in his soulful slumber.
She takes care of herself,
   though she cannot bestow her beauty to impressionists.
She falls in love,
   yet her delusional passions seethe her in disarray.
She finds new friends,
   but a ******* of overzealous poison tarnishes the relationship.
She cooks for more than one;
   ghosts accompany the reserved empty chairs.
She re-models her home,
   driven to impress; however, she is the only one impressed.
She longs for attention,
   craving for a taste of wanting to be loved.
She is she,
   and she is her own canvas.

Timeless in our archives,
Immune from heartless knives,
Bravery streaks your face,
Stage fright, my ultimate chase,
We run faithfully away,
Stayed hidden in the art closet for a day,
Nightmares of my nemesis,
Duchess of the venomous,
Our loyalty marked by,
The city of Versailles,
Have I bitten you,
Have I gone too blue?
You never bid me a fair adieu,
We were the best of friends,
Is it because of her Mercedes-Benz?
Why bury me so deep,
In the mountain of poisoned apples,
Where the ocean of watercolors never dapples?
Surrender the streams,
Of eternity,
I wish you a farewell,
From the deepest depths,
In the abyss of Siberian steppes

don't you understand?
I am happy.

but your happiness
tastes like friendship and laughter,

and my happiness
tastes like antidepressants.

"First of all I wrote this to remind myself in the future, but then realized I should share it:> so that those people who might feel the same would know that they're not alone. Take your time to read it and please no hate, the world should always be beautiful, agree? also, to let people know that being one doesn't mean being alone. enjoy for I have taken up a lot of time to gain courage to post it on public:>>"...

Hey, you must be the future me...or just probably the aged me.
Do you remember this day? one of your good friend's day.
The day you had an open eye about the pyramids of humans.
The denial is there but fear not for it is what you call 'normal'.

You saw how people tend to change for someone, change is fine.
But when I say change... you're having a flashback right now...
again, when I say change it should be always for the better because if not... it's not change, it is just the old world and the old thing you have there. Change is something that builds you not to destroy you, agree? I'm sure you do...because you're still the old you.

The old you that believes in changes, that fights for it. That defends the people that change for the better and despise those who not. The old you who holds the past so dearly yet so ready to let go of the broken memories, because the old you only trust him to make everything beautiful again.

if not, then forgive me for I have change...

Whatever you have realized today won't change its past, but surely made a better future and a better you. For I know you have realized that have one is enough and she's still with you, am I right? those people who made you feel like you were less, don't shout nor be furious...let your success scream for you, let it fight for you, let it be your freedom, but let him finish all the battles. No one nor nothing can top the faith when it comes to your trust in him, that's why promise yourself, me, that when 99.9% of you changes...let the 0.1%  be your faith! for you know he won't let you go!

The pain, the feelings and thoughts you have there...don't be upset because bare a little more and happiness will set.

What I really mean by this note...
you felt like your too different from the others, right?
yet you defended by saying "I know and I've accepted it for a very long time now". Yes, you do accept, yet you feel like you've been trap for a very long time and accepting the fact that they're up there made you free. that's all I mean. Let it go, being cautious is fine, but guilt for the wrong thing can ****. you bared since 7th to 11th, just...just let it go...focus on greater things and wholesome realities.

If they're not like you, always remember you are not like them.
If you can't be with them, be with the people who makes you feel enough. No dramas here, being emotional isn't my thing. Pardon me, if I sounded too dramatic nor emotional...I was just being realistic about life. life isn't life without those, right? K, no more explanation about that, cause the one besides you knows what you mean.

All I wanted to say was be happy for you have lived, be grateful for you have felt, be satisfied for you were blessed. TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!

uno, dos, tres
am I just stressed?

I used to believe everything we all have is equal
the moment you put a greater sign to everything,
I defended it's normal.

I told the rest they were blinded by anger, am I no different when I side with a closed eye and felt triggered.

To the rest let us not be stressed, for he who plans the rest.

When we first spoke,
I felt something click,
As though I had known thee in another time,
Alas, I could not recall it,
For my memory is a maze,
Of which I have no map,
And am lost in myself,
There is far more I wish to say,
Alas, my words are still too little.

How I wish I could explain it all to thee,
But it is all built up to a great complexity,
One I may understand, but not for a time,
‘Tis a thing left for ‘morrow,
Indeed, a thing left for tomorrow.

In the days that come,
It is of my highest hopes that we may become friends,
Although that is not up to just me,
But also to thee,
Of which I have only known for a day,
Later there may be things I should keep at bay,
‘Tis a matter for later,
Not in this time,
Of which is so precious.

In time, would I be a valued friend?
No, I dare not think of the future,
For I wish it to be a mystery still,
Not something I can plan at will,
Within the time I may spare,
I will be left in wonder,
Of what to say to thee,
Oh, what ever to say to you?

- Jay M
September 4th, 2018