i wish you coul(d) gauge my eyes (o)ut
and peek ins(i)de the hollow walls
dripping with red pain(t)
please look closer
Isaac 6d
I long to be
Something
To someone
And a nobody
To no-one
But often
The story
Seems to
Cut me
From everyone
And I ache
Alone
Hoping
I will be
Something
To someone
Written 9 August 2018
Helia Aug 7
so tell me, darling
can you even count
the endless numbers
etched into your skin

you can cover up
all your little scars
but there's no hiding
the ones left on your soul

can you almost feel
the dark heavy weight
of 3 am thoughts
that scream "you fucked up"

the ones that linger
that hide and pretend
that things are okay
when your insides ache
the sun sets. the moon rises.
august 7, 2018.
Crystal Jul 31
Im sorry Mum
Im sorry I couldnt make you proud
Make you happy
Make you stay.
I tried
I tried my best to make you proud
I participated in everything
Always got good marks
I tried to make you happy
But you didnt care
You called me a mistake
Wish you never birthed me
Called me all these names
These scars on the top of my thighs
These are for you
To give me the pain you felt when you saw me
But I get it
Who would want me
Exactly
Noone
This is also for my book. ;)
Cameron Jul 31
i almost let my demons win
oh how i wanted to
they would stop breaking me
over and over again

the thoughts and  voices would have ended
never to come back again
but just when i thought it would be over
you showed me a way to stay

i put down the rope, the pills and the blade
and listened to your words
the demons might have won many battles before
but not this one

as for the whole war
i guess we will have to wait and see;
Bea Mecum Jul 22
Stepped out of my cell
and walked down the hall
Thought it was freezing in there
Kicked open the door
and the beast fixed his gaze on my soul
Hoped pretty hard I was dreaming
I was not
Fought for my life
Right then and right there
I think I tasted blood
Not sure it was mine
Unsure of what I done
When I saw you laying there
I'm sorry for all the pain I caused
When the nightmares washed over me
Maida Rasool Jul 21
ink
cut me open
and let all the
ink run
from these veins,
until my words
bleed dry,
and only
blank pages remain.
James Khan Jul 19
epidermis, agitated,

(scratch)

one, the virgin tally drawn

on self-reproaching Stratum Corneum,

harsh words

like sunburn, scorch the skin

so make the razor pumice-stone -

exfoliation of expressive angst,



(scratch)

two in tandem, hands and feet,

palms and soles and

psalms and souls,

standing under deeper understanding,

deeper -

Stratum Lucidum

dissected, directed pain but

sticks and stones

build bilious bivouacs,



(scratch)

three, the Trinity unmasked,

Stratum Granulosum bared

like a butterfly

(filet)

keratin in humankind is found within

the horn and hoof and hair of beasts -

Father, Son and Holy Spirit

toss grain from unreachable silos,



(scratch)

four, the quarter-pound of flesh,

Stratum Spinosum,

no cheese just relish,

agony is ecstasy is clarity

inside a dirty glass -

what am I, a mannequin?

a man akin to what, exactly?

probe a little deeper still

and answers might spring forth,

spring fifth,



(scratch)

five, gimme five,

gimme skin, gimme Stratum Basale,

cleave through the colour and it's still

(deep) red,

your cells, my cells

are prison-cells and carousels

and mines all blown like La Boiselle's,

the tracts attracting histamine -

swollen fibres play Ave Maria

but Mother Mary's wept enough,



(scratch)

six, sicks, (sic) probo,

proboscis delvings disclose meat-honey

but my wrists aren't cranial hives

of purifying Panthera Leo,

God abandoned His scripture

for De Dermis Mysteris,

neuropathic doxology-

dig for freedom in phlebotomy,



(scratch)

seven, steps to Earthly Paradise

now the sins are surmounted,

the beauty of subcutis is the hubris,

sliced to white confetti-

just a number, lucky for some

seeking vain not artery-archipelago,

seven steps to evanescence,

echoes of the life, lamented.
yúyīn Jul 20
A nother shitty day
B inging, then throwing up; Hunger
C rying, as usual
D eath sounds comforting
E each day is a struggle
F orcing smiles
G one too soon? Not soon enough
H eaven isn't for people like me.
I nternal struggle—i want to
   die//i want to live ..
J ust one more cut .. Oops, too
   many to count
K ill yourself, my thoughts say
L iving is exhausting
M ore scars
N othing inside. It's hungry. Being
    eaten alive
O h, I woke up this morning, I
    wanted to die
P ain .. So much pain.
Q uit  it!
R est in peace [RIP]
S hut up!
T hese thoughts will be the death
   of me. Tired
U nder the facade is a corpse. Im
    a walking dead
V ery soon i will end it.
W hy should I stay alive? Should
     I kill myself?
X friends, x lovers, goodbye
Y es
Z ero thoughts
26 days since my last failed attempt. I will be successful next time. I have to.
Niveda Amber Jul 20
As I listen to the beats of another wild song
My feet tapping on the cold hard ground
In the darkness I ascend the stairs
Sharp eyes and all spread out hairs
Under the moonlight I let my sorrows out
Drenched in loneliness
I roam around and round
I know my heart is in ruins
The ruin is fun
It gives me pleasure
To be fallen apart
I leave those pieces behind me
And dance on and on
Till those pieces cut me deep
And I frown and I laugh
I'm happy to know I've thrown away a part of me
that will never come back
Shards of memories in my vicinity
I smile I cry
Till I let it all out
And I'm all in ruins,
My body is one,
My mind's out of control
But I think I'm alright,
I'm beginning to blossom
in this silent night
I dance on and on
Till those pieces cut me deep
And I cry and I laugh
Till I transform into light
Something I've always wanted to be
I feel a void
But that's alright
Because I'm no longer in ruins
But I still remember those times...
Words help me feel things I've never felt before..
©NivedaAmber
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