Checkout at the grocery store
I see a penny on the floor
Old lady says don't pick it up
If it's tails, it's bad luck
I wanted to say pennies don't give out bad luck
Destiny has a way of making our lives suck
But instead I just walk away dumbstuck
So many times before I sat there watching
Waiting, vegetating, it's so aggravating,
Waiting for this hell to freeze over.
I am in an ice box, I guess that's good as long
As it's inside a place I live, because then at least
I get to pace around or dream as is.
You sit there patting me on the head like I'm a stupid dog,
"There there, you'll get over your dreams. We all had to
At one point." I'm supposed to just sit here and feel golden,
This my darkest hour, the only thing I have left is that
I'm here where I can be a "pretty flower," but still I feel
I have no future with all of my dreams stolen.
I would give anything but to feel the fires of youth and life,
Now I get to be whatever else and poor as I am "free."
One man's trash is another man's treasure, indeed...
over the years
life leaves its traces
on our bodies, our souls,
in our memories
the moment when a broken twig
just barely missed the eye
of a cavorting child
the first time promises
turned into cheats, betrayal, strife
adding injustice to the loss of trust
the day when suddenly
you could not read
the writing on the blackboard any more
and needed glasses
the time when playing the piano
got so painful that you had to stop dreaming of a pianist’s career
love’s first elations
followed by despair and disappointment
some lucky instances as well
have kept you kicking & alive until this day
crashing through the old glass door
with your first scooter
during a summer job at the steel mill
seeing just your leather working glove
and not your hand
disappear into the hydraulic power press
getting away with just a crick in your neck
when your idiot friend caused a car crash
that left only small pieces of your glasses
in the wreck
out of them all
the scars of loss
or threat of loss
are such that never die
your little son saved
by last-minute surgery
sitting at your daughter’s bed
for several days
until high fever finally abated
your mother’s unexpected death
on the first day of spring
the slow and dreary suffering
your father bore with desperate pride
a few more years
all these engravings
and many more
written by the flow of time and space
are waiting just around the corner
from your daily living room
mixed in with fonder memories
of joyous time and wonderful events
together they have shaped
the person that you are
your life, your world
there is no other one like you
When yer high on a streak
And no doubt its a freak
Aint nothin can beat yah
Not luck bad ner good
Dont doubt its a bet
A streakers regret
Tho yah aint beaten yet
The times surely set
Not by fate or yer odds
Ner the whim of the gods
But by an incredible drive
To keep going
All of it was so gory,
And I am so sorry.
Why that day came,
And why I survived,
I do not know either.
It is as if I chose dear life,
Of the two choices there,
Now I doubt my choice.
There is no happiness,
And there is no sorrow,
Neither happy nor sad.
Unrequited love I dispensed,
How long will it take for me,
Always I repent after loving.
They ask me my story,
I tell them my saga,
Of love & suffering.
Then they get bored,
Too dreamy a story,
They take it all as fiction.
Sometimes it's eaiser to believe in some kind of of cosmic power
Like somehow a shooting star can change the course of who we are
And sometimes it's easier to make a wish on the 11:11 hour
Or believe some penny on the ground can somehow change a bad day around
And sometimes it's easier to search for four left clovers in a field of flowers
Than to accept somethings cannot be changed
Hoping for lucky showers cause
The reality is this:
We lose, and we fail, and we greive
And No matter how much we wish, we pray we plead
We can only believe
Just let us believe
Back then I was once told,
"Go out and meticulously pick the right one, darling."
Search for inner motives that lie within,
Look at every sign conveyed by an innocent grin.
Before I once knew,
Preserving and restoring is what I should do.
All my youth and all that I have left to offer.
'Till the time comes when I have chosen one among all the other.
Honey, you should know, I've followed every order.
Chased a dream after a dream and got to know every soul.
I did what I was foretold.
And still found myself wondering, "What have I done wrong?"
I've been, as you say, nice to them all. Picked the nicest one among the four.
Treasured and held it dear for long
Thinking this is it. The real deal after all.
Yet as it appears, it's just a facade. They got me fooled, once more.
So when should I know whom to pick?
Will time be enough to uncover the masked persona we keep?
Or do chances really happen and fate has its own course?
Thinking twice of when do I get here and...
"How far should I go?"
and i rip off the chain you got me three years ago
and i chuck it at the mirror
and it shatters the glass
seven years of bad luck my ass
because if karma existed i wouldn't still be around
you would be anything but what you are
because you are everything that ever meant anything to anyone who ever cared
and i was the anyone who cared
and i am the one who cares
and 'He' doesn't exist because if he did
why would 'He' let me feel like this
someone who wouldn't look me in the eyes
someone who put on a show to leave me for someone new
and every little while I'll ask mutual friends how you've been
because i care too much not to check in
and it's always the same answer but i know better than to believe myself
because you're not better off without me, but then again
you weren't better off with me
so i will pick up the pieces of glass and put them somewhere where they are not a danger to me or my bare feet
and then i will go to bed
because the only way i can get away from you is to sleep
because my dreams are still blank.