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Jeremy Betts Feb 13
What is this that I've let build up inside of me?
I'm only human, I get lonely
So, at first, it's easy to see why I didn't really mind the company
...at first...
With every attempt to shine a light on it, it seemed to get more ugly and angry
Personally becoming so entangled in my past I found myself imprisoned in my head, lost away and locked the key
Mass delusion feeds mass confusion obviously
Abused by depression and anxiety
Used simultaneously as prison guards to keep me here in captivity
A single inmate maximum security penitentiary
Making a mockery of my first 40
While I watch the worst of me became the only me
I foolishly pretend no one else could possibly see
As behind the scenes I try to wiggle free for a second or three
In an attempt at some sort of damage control on this fragile soul and fractured mentality
Trying in vain to make sense of the recipe
'Cause if this is how it's supposed to be
Then someone's going to need to explain to me
Exactly why my straight to TV, B movie horror mystery
Was scripted to be such a difficult and seemingly impossible journey
Where's the humanity?

©2024
Heidi Franke Feb 5
Today my son
Is to be sentenced
To prison. He
Lives 23 hours a day
In a jail cell, he will move on
Steeling courage few of us
Ever have to experience.
Consider your luck.
His mental illness
never to be a crime.
Will there be light for a prism?
Where he can turn to
Other pathways
Less dark and Forge
Himself into the open
Blue sky and all the rainbows
From here on out.
On the outside we are blind
On the inside some
Are given true sight.
I cry for a rotten system
In mental health care
We own. You might
Want to pull up some buckets
For all mothers tears
Knowing the best we have
Is incarceration. How is that
America? Tired of blaming anyone but yourself?
A son is to be sentenced this Monday morning. Prison transfer on Wednesday.
Go away, somewhere deep inside
Far away, like the direction of my eyes

It'll be all a dream. Blurry, bright, pale white then dim.
Zywa Sep 2023
The wind surrounds us.

The restless howling tells us --


that we are inside.
Improvised composition "Subaerial" (= in the layer of air just above the ground, 2021, Lucy Railton & Kit Down

Collection "org anp ark" #300
Steve Page Oct 2022
The inside me often disagrees
(sometimes violently)
with the outside me

See, they have very different perspectives
different standards
different - … ,  
well they're just different.

They've both had it difficult,
but in different, very distinct ways.

And that leads to differences in opinion and to opposition.
Opposing views, opposed decisions
that in the end they need to resolve
(however reluctantly),
to agree where they disagree.

Agree a way forward.

If you think the outside me would prevail,
you have been deceived and failed to conceive
just how much the inner man can conserve
energy until its needed to win the day

And so the outer me concedes,
(not defeat, but a passing loss),
because in the end they're in this together.
Inner or Outer.

A toss of the same coin.
One of us winning whichever side comes up,
whichever, whoever ends up on top.

Like I say, don't be fooled by the outward façade.
Take the longer view.
Look at the heart.
I Samuel 16.7  - "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The LORD does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2022
My thoughts lately too loud
Staggering
Hate the sound
Cannot silence commotion inside
Why peace is difficult to find
My mind always takes me back to the darkest lowest depths of my thoughts
Shofi Ahmed Aug 2022
Just inches below the ground
but must be behind the sight
sow the seed for a tree in return.

Deepening down the bottom of the sea
nor lying on the ground dropping off the sky
merely dipping into some foots long body  
the soul springs a life.

Take it on the run then should the sky
or earth bends giving a flatten lid.
Even then can it prevent
the soul when rebounds with a life indeed?

An inside scoop, a math, never surfaces
neither in sky nor on Earth, a measured deep,  
always behind the eyes but life maker indeed.
Ali Harati Jun 2022
On a lonely ride
on a silent night,
Going through a high
hitting deep inside,
With eyes open
and sensations wide,
Filling the mind
with questionable thoughts,
It took only a touch
to know what feels right,
What I had lost
through hate and disgust,
In the ******
of overflowing cries,
A door opened
and stepped out a fright,
I know longer knew
If I could feel right,
With another me
so deprived of life.
On a lonely night
in a lonely high,
I found the hidden woman inside.
Ken Pepiton Feb 2022
Thank you, but I have vowed
to accept the fact that luck is as good
a chance to take as grace,
no exchange, no earning luck, never was.

Good luck is only good, bad luck is a mistake,
a grasping at things that did occur,
to change
at sudden, certain, central points,
miss the aim as teleos is said to be a mistake,
the act of aiming
definite purpose, ala Napoleon hill, aim to ****,
train the brain to fear no death, not mine,
not the other guys,
I am the weapon,
possessed of the spirit of the bayoneted and bulleted,
points used to ****, flood the ******
Flanders fields, at that time of year, first the blade,
then the ear, then fields sing thanks and bloom
***** scarlet poppies… later in the spring

Aim at nothing, the mind
of the machine
gunner reacts, point and spray, if you pray,
I say,
pray for the man who takes careful aim,
and squeezes, knowing sudden
bang
budges not the aim aimed true and followed
through.

Machine gunner, pray for me.
not my mind, another guy, mentioned in another 502 limbode layer
Ren Sturgis Jan 2022
Sometimes I feel so empty inside, and it makes me want to delve deep within myself and hide.
Most days I want to cry, but every single day I try, to repair my heart and soul till I make it whole.
To replace what has died only makes me feel alive, to feel better in life, to progress and strive.
Still sometimes I feel empty inside, like the ocean at low tide, when I've lost my dignity and pride,
On love and happiness I rely.
A piece of me gone, and search for it I might, every night to be filled with just a bit of light.
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