If I admitted I hate myself
for all the things against you
I had said and done-
would I feel better then?  

If I found a way to show
the weight of sorrow I carry
for all the pain I’ve caused you-
would I feel better then?

If I truly understood
the depth and reason
of love, forgiveness, and mercy-
would I feel better then?

I’m learning the new language of love
It’s cloudy and I’ve only
broken sentences
unfortunately already-fluent in the tongue of
drunk hook-ups and
meaningless touches and
compromised endeavors and
disguised intentions

I have never felt what I was promised
I want to bathe myself in it
seas of infatuation
if it exists
desperate for affection
addicted to the idea that a soul could long for me

craving something

unreliable arousal
am I unfairly deprived?

Once I’m in love
I’ll be loving so hard
And that’ll be the hardest part
As I don’t want us to be a past
I need you as my first and last

How I wish at least you do know my name
Or tell me that you’re feeling the same

Stranger eyes
How can I fall for the sranger’s glare
Like there’s something in the stare
Am I supposed to call for help?
Or should I just follow your steps?
And let myself slip down the stairs
Straight into the hole of misery fair.


A letter for the stranger.
Nathan A Oct 5

Vacant eyes and soon to be scars as blood is dripping from wounds self inflicted. Short breaths and relief.

I can feel again

Over white stars splash waves of black,
Tumbling down, down, down her back.

Her eyes of shallow oaken door,
A soul broken of life's cold miseries and brutal sores.

Present to her the power and death of man,
Dripping poison from the door along the acid paths ran.

Frozen stares kill on the spot,
Hear me, near me, never not.

Wither spirits and diminish away,
As was, always will, horrible dismay.

Dance keys, white of ivory and weights weighing night,
For only when you see the darkness may you see the light.

Angels call and balcony cry,
To hear the name thy promotes all lies.

Misunderstood caught by string,
Not much known but suffering.

© Molly Shore

Shaima Sep 27

maybe I've been so lost
that I no longer have a home.
if this is my new sanity
i might as well go mad all the way.
better die in pain
than live a lie.
shoot me already,
I'm not built for battle.
I'm just trying to be.

My gift to you,
The shadow of my memory
My gift is you...
When you cast on my misery

© Copyright
Abdullah Ayyash
September 21st, 2017

What is a misery that cannot be seen, heard, or explained
What is a misery far too painful for human expression
What is a misery that drives to the ends of the earth everyday
What is a misery that immobilizes indefinitely
What is a misery that surges beyond words or gestures, beyond explanation or comprehension
What is a misery at all, in fact
What is a misery but a misery?

Kyle Dee Sep 18

It feels good when someone likes your pain.
Funny concept, isn't it?
To feel so fulfilled when you're congratulated for your wounds?
When you're celebrated for your tears,
commended on your scars,
applauded for your broken heart.
A creator is enslaved to his art,
the art is enslaved to his pain.
Without the hurting, the art just doesn't feel real.
It's a gimmick, just some pretty words.
Pain is the proper seal of approval.
The certificate of authenticity
You can't spell paint brush without pain.
Pain is the most vibrant color
The unbreakable pencil.
Heartache is the sharpest camera lens.
The ink runs darker when there's blood added.
Love is better remembered when it's broken.
Happiness is more vivid after it's taken away.
Loved ones become more loving after they're gone.
Love interests stay beautiful in the past.
The best sex improves with time
Good memories age like wine.
I'd love to make happy art,
I'd love to smile when I spill my memories
Be nice to just write because I can.
Pain is just more interesting.
Darkness the better work light.
Misery the better Muse.

Kyle D.

once bitten, twice shy.
makes perfect sense
but i'm pressing the teethmarks
she left on my chest
and i've missed this tender aching.
i've missed the misery that
summarises me when we're apart.
cross my masticated beating heart
stick a needle in my eye
once bitten, twice shy
i'll try to fall in love once
before i die.

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