a question troubles, island’s peace is lost,
“am i who i am?” eager land inquires.
disturbed, the once serene and calm water,
enraged waves sent off, crashing onto shore.
the answer that you seek i cannot speak,
straightforward answers, never meant to please.
a storm threatens a downpour of yes, no,
confusion flooded, train of thought submerged.
surveying islands, bird’s eye takes the view,
clouds fleet along, marveling at it all:
a lake, a river, waterfalls of hope,
a hill, a valley, mountains of regret,
grown with experience, plants and trees stand,
learning through challenges, animals flock.
“what an amazing sight!” wind blows soft breeze,
“what an amazing mind!” whistles the bird.
land and water, both finally, calmed down,
resolves to address the troubling question:
“am i who i am?” echoes the island.
wind and ocean answers in unison:
“a tiny plot of land, blessed by the gods,
but with one’s hands, an island has emerged."
a limp body
carried in broken arms
to a funeral pyre
hidden in the woods
drowning in the perception
life flows out
and seeps in
healing in unfettered
exhaustion bleeds thought
cracks fuse invisibly strong
still feeling both less
yet more, somehow
pyre lays unlit
as the heart dreams ablaze
in lost memories
of a life not yet lived
one without the other
breathing in all the nothing
looking for the only thing
not knowing what or where
but the when is now
as wood sits on the ashes
of what came before
in the jolt of drowning
on overflowed tears
it flows out of each
and into the other
accidental truth is never an accident
too tired to continue
it was found where it lay sleeping
patient and blind
sprouts into the best
of unseen possibilities
the day you carried me in silence
I unravel the scrolls hidden
Deep, dark secrets unwritten
The blank pages of your heart
No pen and paper relay
All your fear and pain
All the loss and gain
Those things you put away
Reflecting off your face
Though not written, I read
And you ask if I can mend
The emotional cuts that tend
To take a little piece of you
Slowly making you less and less
But I don't know where you went
A stranger is all I see
And I can't say we're meant to be
But if you're still in there
Somewhere, hidden, I swear
I'll unravel you
Springsteen sang about glory days
and I laughed
and swore that wouldn’t be me.
I looked around this small town
at these large fishes
and knew I’d find a bigger pond.
But here I am
holding up jerseys
reading newspaper clippings
looking at old pictures
picture day poses
and can’t stop talking about
In the 1960's,
The Hippies protest the Vietnam War
As well as practicing Free Love
And experimenting with Drugs.
Were viewed as "Squares".
All the popular musicians at that time
Including Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix and Marvin Gaye
Were SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS
It was hip to care
And it was hip to think
About "what's going on"
In distant parts of the World.
They say that "Conservatism is the New Counterculture",
What is hip today
Is to be SELF-ABSORBED,
To NOT give a fuck about anyone else.
I attended an "Active Minds" Lecture
At Denver's Tattered Cover Bookstore
On the Philippines.
Part of this Lecture
Was a CRITIQUE of U.S. Foreign Policy in Southeast Asia,
But this "Active Minds Series"
Is primarily designed for SENIOR CITIZENS
Who want to avoid Developing Dementia.
It's not particularly
No amount of distance
could get me away
from the other part of me
begging me to stay.
I'm teetering on the edge,
I'm sinking into the depths.
I couldn't live my life
all the things that keep me awake,
the days that haven't yet passed.
I've got this sickening feeling
that my downfall will happen fast.
When I least expect it
I'll meet again with my past.
He'll spit in my face
and disrespect my name.
He'll grab me by the shirt
and expose this awful little game.
I'll lose control and hit the bottom
and I'll never be the same.
I've fallen from the place I used to be.
I've become a blurry version of my name.
I've tortured myself countless nights,
hoping this all wasn't in vain.
Do the most successful
suffer the most
or do the most hopeful
open themselves up for attack?
Can't you see that I
I cannot move forward,
that's why I look back.
No amount of distance
could get me away.
I'm in an unfamiliar room
with these words surrounding.
Clouding my mind,
altering who I could be.
I couldn't live my life
with fear taking over
every fiber of me.
I'm inside, I cannot get outside.
That's where all the people are.
The ones who can change my life.
I can't do a thing with this now.
I have nothing called power.
I've scratched and clawed all the way here
and I still can't change a single thing.