nd 1d

"maybe i’m stupid.”

oh child, you are!

when you were small all you knew was screaming and so you did it constantly, and you kept me up all night when in the morning i had work and eventually i screamed back from my room, but you didn’t care and that was stupid. i had to hold your hand as you walked because you couldn’t do it by yourself, you tripped over your own tiny feet and shat in your pants and that was stupid. you told your uncle he looked black after he’d gotten a spray tan and child that was stupid, but what does stupid got to do with anything now? stupid is an excuse, and when you left him he used it too, holding back stupid tears saying it was so stupid of him but he’ll never do it again, just like your father did before the little rat was ever a thought in his own father’s head. forget him, because he’s stupid too, and focus on yourself, you who clawed your way out of my womb, lit me on fire and burnt me up till i was the sun. scream some bloody murder again if you need to, it's been years since i've heard your voice caught in hysterics. let it crack in anger, dummy, come on, didn't i raise you to be mad?

"of course you aren't stupid," just like i'm not a liar.

Jobira 3d

I am addicted to you,
to your euphoric talk, sweetheart
but now you want to leave
to do and go part
When I heard the morning bad news,
it gave my heart a jump
Though I know the reason why,
I never thought, suddenly,
our passions would stop

All the words I ever told you
none of it is a lie
You make me crave for life,
even to touch the sky
Maybe not sure my way
for I desire love or lust
What’s the difference anyhow,
if you’re planted
in my imagination and become
the blood valve of my heart?

I hope you stay longer
at least until dawn
Like a smoke in the air
I want you not be gone

I am addicted to you, to,
Your crafting ability, mare
Your emotional agility, flair
And the heated chemistry, we share
For I want not these memories
vapor into the thin air

Maybe it’s just me,
my head is in the clouds,
and stuck in a wrong place
What I thought is special
is a merely non-existence,
a smoke-dream I chase.

@jobiranyc (11/16/2017)

There’s no good news

By the end of this night,
I will have left you behind
And you will have left me;
And what we swore to uphold til death do us part
Will be a thing of the past.
Is that why I feel like I’m going to be half-dead in the morning?

So I was hoping, just really hoping deep down
That we could have one last dance.
Just the two of us,
Just like old times
With my arms wrapped around you
With your heart beating for me.
I miss it already
Butt not as much as I will in the days to come
When I have the devil curled up in my mind,
Whispering in my ear
The way you used to get jealous when other people did.
So I was hoping, just really hoping deep down
That we could have one last dance.

I understand if you’re ashamed
So we can turn out the lights
And never turn them on again.
We can keep his between us,
Just one final secret we keep for one another.
You don’t have to hold me close to your heart like you used to
But could you please at least try to pretend
That you remember loving me like I was made for you?
Because I was hoping for one last dance.
Before we go our separate ways and never speak of this again,
I’d like one last dance.
I won’t ask for a proper goodbye, nor will I give one.
But how about one last dance?

so this is how it goes -
bring me up high,
and pull me down slow.

i'm only human -
take it easy on me,
this roller coaster makes me weak.

let's face the truth -
these nights are fluid,
our smiles glare from inside the picture frames.

don't be afraid of the future -
holding you close as i need to,
breaking apart is a need to.

I'm at your new girls party
I go to take a piss
I see her hugging your body
Oh so naturally I hiss
It wasn't supposed to be like this

Her eyes locked on mine
As if to say “you’ve had these times”
I know that look, know he's hurtin
Pay no attention, keep slip slurpin

Of course I've had those times
I've seen more than you could fathom
That's why I have to craft these rhymes
Let loose my inner dragon

Far too long I stayed afloat
Even though I was breathin fire
Gotta find some new ways to cope
Before I end up on a pyre

When are we supposed to let go
I don't think I'll ever know
N what the fuck is meant to be anyway
I am a wanderer in an endless maze
The hunts got me slippin away
Slurpin, sippin, slippin away

The taste of the coffee I had the morning you left
still lingers in my mouth,
it was dark but delicate.

When you left,
I had to act like it was fine because
you only love me when it's silent.
I wonder how can you act like I'm nobody when
it's loud.

The photographs are no longer hanging,
the writings are no longer clear.
It has turned old and bronzy,
because you’re no longer here.

Our memories.
It’s fading,
and it's the best feeling.

I miss you...

Leaves in the river, led astray
Away from the comfort of the trees twigs
The bond, long ago, began to fray
Neither knew it would end up like this

But soon the tree had realized
It was feeling a lot more energized
And then the leaf began to see
It ended up where it needed to be

The tree needed badly to learn how to let go
To save up its strength to face the snow
And now the leaf finally knows
It was always meant to decompose

To break down and feed another life-cycle of love
While the tree soared freely, watching high above

Title was inspired by a song by Seawolf
Jungdok Nov 11

You were once my sun and moon
You were once my day and night
You were once my sweet dreams
You were  once my reality

Now tell me,
How do I unlove you,
When you became my everything?

You were once my everything, now I got nothing.
Sammy Harris Oct 29

When the last breath is exhaled
The feelings of love now failed
Leaves only a sadness for a while
That is masked with a half smile

This overwhelming emptiness is there
but the lack of touch is worse to compare
as feelings of sadness are translated
Into anger that is never faded
An anger of which I cannot shake
Like a sickness it cannot be faked

I go on though, trying to be done with my broken duet
Always wondering what will it take to forget
And this guilt ridden pain I try not to notice
Appears most when not all feels hopeless

katalyn Nov 1

My eyes roll back
As the world fades.
I
exhale desolation,
And let my phone die just like the feelings inside me.

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