I have felt pain that makes me ache Dark pain that pulls me till I fall apart A gnawing sensation which I can not take Both slow and hard this pain pulls at my heart This pain won't come "because" I think of thee It comes from silence, something that's missing This pain pulls at me, I wish that you could see Your silence hurts me more than words reminding It hurts to feel like you don't care at all It hurts to know that I missed out on "we" So now I start to stand up from this fall Abandon all plans I hoped would make you see So your choices I choose to except For I trust you through the tears I've wept
I reminisce a simpler time. I listen to Lana Del Rey past midnight as if it's 2013 again, pretending her graphic imagery is my actual life while I search for my exes on google since they don't use Facebook, wondering what ever became of them. Is my high school sweetheart happy he got married and had a family with someone that wasn't me? Did my college boyfriend ever snap out of his depression and regret breaking up with me in the middle of the night at his Boston apartment leaving me to wander the streets aimlessly until the sun rose above the city skyline? As much as I crave answers, unfortunately my google trail runs cold. If I had blinked twice, would my life had turned out that differently? And if it had, would I even want to be me?
A little ramble since life is hard and it feels like nothing has changed and yet everything has.
"La di die" I just know that very line Remember when you were mine And I just didn't seen the sign I'm broken just gonna die Wishing I could turn back time So I keep replaying That same line "La di die" You were my suicide And don't come to apologize "La di die" So I say goodbye
So this poem is talking about me listening to La di die by Nessa Barrette and jdxn. And about how this song is stuck in my head and with this song in my head I'm kind of telling my ex how I feel about our break up and how this song will keep replaying in my head and I will start forgetting about him.
I was a giant. One day while running, I spotted you atop a tree. You were waving. Smiling. Barely able hold the branches from my ground shaking footsteps.
I don't know why but I picked you up, gently. You sat upon my shoulders and told me of your dreams of one day building your own home.
I showed you the place I called home, yet it was too big for you. So we went back out. I gathered you stones of love to act as a foundation. I plucked mighty oaks of trust from the ground to provide lumber for your walls and security. I cleared a spot for you in my home, and allowed you to construct yours.
And all was well. One day, you came to me in the night. You whispered into my ear that my footsteps were too loud for you That my movements disturbed your peace and shattered your dreams as you slept. I tried to crawl. Tried to slide across the ground on my belly. For a while I just stopped moving.
Without my massive footsteps to crush the forests, and stunt the mountains The forests began to become an overgrown thick brush The mountains toppled from their own height and destroyed anything around them
But I sat. Quietly. And watched.
And then it became my breathing. My heartbeat. The pounding sound of blood rushing through my veins. My laughter.
My very existence was too loud. Too disturbing to your peace. So when your walls started to rot And you slept through, I wasn't sure what the correct course of action was.
When the wind began eroding away the foundation, and collapsing the home around you I was sure you'd awaken
But you didn't
Your home is gone now Replaced by a pile of rotted wood that was your security and trust from the outside And stones so heavy, only I can clean them up now.
And I will. Slowly
And once the pile of rubble is gone, and your corpse is located and buried
I will swear the vow that under any circumstance,
I will not let anyone tell me my existence is too powerful for them.
I am a Giant. And I will not falter from running any longer.
I kept telling myself that I am doing well That I am independent and Out of the curse and spell Of that, of loving someone unconditionally That, I am way out of reach Of my emotions and feelings For the one that crowns my heart and soul I kept telling myself that I will be okay That for no matter what, I'll stay I'll wait for him to turn my way To take me in his arms again And say I will not leave you Again..
if given a chance to love them again, i wouldn't. i wouldn't trade my right lung for a scrap of affection i wouldn't give away my morals and idea of consent for a simple hug and ounce of attention i wouldn't beg, grasp, or cry just to be told i'm handsome. i wouldn't allow anything that did get said to me, to be said again. i can't imagine allowing myself to be treated like **** for a year because of anyone else, so why did i allow it this time i can't imagine that i'd ever go back, so please, remind me, when things get bad again, that i said i'd never go back.