Don't you worry, my love, I'm doing just fine.
I smile all day and I take my tablets at night.
I talk all day and I flood my pillows at night.
Don't you worry, my love, I'm perfectly fine.
Thank you for your concern.
she wanted me
to change my size for her
like i was an wrong pair of shoes
but it wasn’t me
that didn’t fit
i had outgrown her
a long time ago
Esther L. Krenzin
It's so strange
My love for you
Entangled deep within my soul,
And my longing for you
will never end.
And at the same time
You are the very last thing
I'd choose to have
in my life.
So I just sit
In this state of
might love me;
might gaze beyond
the walls that stand
like angels and gods,
shielding me from
all the Bad Things of Before.
might say I'm enough,
and make excuses for the pain
for the icy,
I brandish so easily.
The thousand cuts
that lead them
to their ends.
Someone might open my chest,
see the rose-colored
that shivers there:
the terrified child crouching in shadow,
and long to comfort
and give her
To shower her
To promise peace
and the weight of gold
in an undeviating
But for now,
I know only memories.
Only the cold,
The sting of curiosity
behind a cracked
in Truths I cannot challenge.
I chase your ghost
in scores immeasurable,
The contours of your flesh:
a refrain of constant agony,
by ancient hymns
of how you'd kiss me in the dark.
in your cheap,
With your history books
and your drab apartment
off of Sunset,
where the August sun
Particles that mapped
paved with ivory skulls,
arching along the
and drifting down
to the Kingdom of Death:
the gilded streets of Hollywood,
my mind has not left.
I had always been the pliable one...
the one that always asked herself,
“How much could you use me until you were done?”
I resigned to bed sheets: comatose...
the idea of loneliness sinking in...
wondering if you were thinking of me.
I wasn’t always flexible, but always willing to
bend and break on your behalf
until you decided to flee the coup.
Because that’s when I finally bucked up
and stood my shaky ground
and realized you were actually the lonely one.
I am an addict -
For your pain
I am a house of cards -
Full of pain
I fall apart
But you -
Are to blame
Addiction to pain
That was the first time I didn't want to run
The first time I wanted to live it through,
But I was caught up in my wishes and went blind
That I could no longer see the truth.
But once I'm distant, picture's clearer
I now do understand you well
You didn't want the past to be repeated,
Preferred your safety shell.
I do not judge, I am aware
It's scary to trust people,
To open up and share
Your darkest secrets.
It's fine to take precautions,
Keep distance, and be scared.
When a heart has already been broken,
It needs some time to get recovered and prepared.
I wish you all the best, my darling,
I'm glad I've met your precious soul.
You'll never stop inspiring
And being someone who's dear and close
Eyes turned downwards in the shame of loving and forgetting, when love has been waysided to the lust of youth
Days were floating by as we struggled with our heads dowsed in the blood between our veins.
Our blood of memories soon to be
lives yet to be lived.
Your voice plays on the broken record in my head
all I can hear is the silence between three words
Thousands of lives between us
millions left unsaid
an infinity to continue beyond and a forever that doesn’t last always
Yet we pray, howling to gods that have faded away with the eastern rise
we pray for longing, the lingering effects of verses with unknown tongues traded and abated under our scorching sun
But let the moon love us in this absence
Let my love keep you from drowning
Let truth shine her light upon you
Removing all that is lost in searching
Still and quiet with time
painted and tainted until the dust removes one forsaken layer of words staining the cracks of new beginnings
‘You will always be golden to me’
When people ask me why I left you. I answer them honestly. Now, it’s time to tell you. I got tired of kissing you. I got tired of seeing you. I got tired of your jokes. Your smiles, your laugh, but most importantly, I got tired of you. I hate to say this bluntly, but you need to understand. I just didn’t love you anymore.