Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Farhan Ahmed Jun 20
Did you wake up?

I was thinking...
we have been cuddling each other from different spaces,
from different distances,
and we do not speak.

Just feel the warmth of our bodies,
in a sense that we just need each other.
We do not need the brains.
We do not need the feelings.
We don't even need the greetings.

We don't talk all day,
we don't talk all night.
Only when it's needed.
Only when we need something from each other.

And time has passed.
It has been years.

Wondering what made us come close.
Even the ask for *** is not there anymore.
But we just want to make sure
that we continue to see each other in front of us.

It's just like a mirror.
It's just like a sesame.
It's just like a sense of presence that is required.

That is where we find peace.
So that the heart is not broken.
One breaks at the other.
It's confusing.

We've had a lot of questions to ask.
We ask each other—
What's going on?
What happened?
What can we do?
What have we done so far in these years?
How have we survived each other?

And once we were done with the questions,
now we don't ask anymore—
Why?

Why do we still argue?
Why have we not lost connection?
Why have we not lost access or address for each other?
What is it?
Is it that we're looking for closure?

The acceptance is not there now.
We are busy with priorities,
life calamities—
some including us,
some excluding us.

And some thoughts intruding,
blocking an overview.

We have never made this far—
it's a thought that I sometimes wonder.

But I still feel,
or I felt,
or I thought—
whatever you name it—
that it might be necessary
for the heart,
or for the brain,
or for time
to go through with it.

Go through with it,
and see how far we've come.

And also because the mistakes I made
through the journey without you—
maybe I would have never done,
or I would have never taken those steps.

You might have just tolerated me,
but still—
I would have felt protected,
because you dominated my feelings,
and that's what I needed at that moment.

But I failed.
I failed to understand me.
I failed to understand everything around me.
I needed patience.
I had to just take care of being anxious.

Well, I'll go now.
It's not good.

And I see that you are sleeping without expression,
so you might not be dreaming at the moment—
but likely, you've been tired.

Tired long enough
that your body forced you to go to sleep.

But you continue to spend nights awake,
worrying about your feelings.

Not worrying about someone else,
but just worrying about your feelings,
thinking—
how can I protect and savor myself from being vulnerable?

And that is making you stronger.
That is making you ruthless.

Know that there is no other choice
but to create a thick skin,
a boundary,
let go of me—
even though I'm just skin to skin with you.

Because I just don't exist beyond the dreams anymore.

It's likely that you're done with your questions.
You're done with the confusion that you already had.
And that has made you understand
that you had nothing to do with the break.

And we're done asking what is at stake.

I've taken other responsibilities,
which I accept—
you go through with your life.

I'm not thinking about the people that you love,
but just probably surviving,
wondering about the people that love you.

And I'm grateful to them,
and grateful that being around you
has been more important.

Maybe that is all there is now
It is all there!
Millee Jun 17
i never stopped loving you
i promise that's true
i only began to love me
so i had to leave, you see

we're both bruised
our souls used
screaming for help
such puny yelps

how can two broken souls heal?
they can't, one must kneel
one pushing on while the other's left behind
usually a heart that is kind

giving up myself for you
became something i'd just do
regardless of it hurting me
i just wanted you to be happy

but it wasn't fair
i was dying, i swear
i lost who i am
because with you i swam

while you drowned, i stayed afloat
being your savior, driving the boat
but it had a leak...
i was weak

i couldn't stay above the wave
the failure bringing both us to our graves
i'm so sorry i couldn't hold both of us
my legs gave out, causing a fuss

i couldn't hold your pain and mine
all at the same time
i drowned for you
so you could rise above the blue

i kept my hurting inside
i know that i cried
but there are things i locked away
things i wouldn't dare say

i couldn't hurt you
i just had to keep pushing through
before it became too much
that's when i avoided your touch

i had to leave for me
it's something you may never see
but i did everything i could for you
until there was nothing else i could do

i love you
and i'm sorry too
that i wasn't enough
but life is rough
Narin Jun 16
Onto the next one,
This'll be the best one--
Funny how it's you again,
Wrapped in an awful loop again,
Needn't talk about the last one,
We're onto the next one,
And this,
Will be,
The Best One.
Feyre Jun 13
'you’re the greatest love of my life', he said.
age eighteen,
wind in your hair,
going 80 on the motorway,
and you were in free fall
whilst he was laying down roots.

flash forward, and he was crying.
branches swaying in the breeze.
'you’re the greatest heartbreak of my life', he said.
and you felt a pang, a twinge, on your heartstrings
whilst he lay his heart on his sleeve,
your eyes dry,
whilst his were weeping.

flash back, to your hand in his,
swinging in the stagnant air of summer,
a light smile on your face,
a burning intensity in his eyes.
your laugh tinkled in the air,
whilst he gripped your hand tighter.
but it was hot, and your hand was sweaty,
and your grip loosened,
and your hand slipped out of his,
and his smile fell.

'you’re the greatest loss of my life', he said
over the phone, voice low and raw.
and you blinked and felt nothing,
whilst he claimed to feel everything.
didn’t he see, how couldn’t he see,
that you were nothing new?
i guess he never knew you at all.

to the present, to the now,
your eyes catch his across a crowded room,
a glimpse of the past,
a snapshot of before
before he drops his eyes,
and he raises his hand,
intertwined with another’s.
you float over the room like a ghost
and your ears pick up his words,
-'she’s the greatest love of my life', he says,
and he raises their hands,
he kisses the bunched rope of fingers and palms,
and she’s smiling,
she’s beaming,
and his eyes burn intensely,
and he roots his hand in hers,
and his heart shines out of his chest,

and finally you understand his words.
'you are the love of my life.'
it was wishful thinking, an affirmation thrown into the air,
but the wind blew and it struck the wrong person,
an actor who wasn’t up to play the role.

because he was wrong.
never the love of my life,
and the words echo now,
that I wasn’t the love of his,
either.
a breeze blew and hair flew across my eyes,
and his laugh echoed across the space between us,
and i smiled
and my chest ached
and my heart wept
but he smiled back.
this is for the ones who yearn for heartbreak, simply for proof that they fell in love. the ones that never felt enough when it mattered, but felt too much when it was too late. here's to getting your closure.
BloodOfSaints Jun 22
Come back when your soul is whole again,
I’ll be here, a sacred flame unwavering,
waiting to baptize you in my love,
to heal the scars that time could not erase.

In this holy waiting,
my devotion is both prayer and promise -
that you are never lost, only becoming
the saint I have always known you to be.
BloodOfSaints May 31
I want you holy in your ruin,
with the cracks still open,
so I can crawl inside and live there.

Come back crowned in all the pain you’ve earned.
I will not flinch.
I will anoint your scars with my tongue,
light candles in the hollow of your ribs,
and worship whatever’s left of you.

I am not waiting like the patient do.
I am waiting like prophecy,
like flood,
like plague.
I do not wait to love you.
I wait to devour you,
softly,
completely,
as if you were the last god left,
and I the last believer still on my knees.
When will you let go?
Your love is like a thorny rose.
Love means letting go.
Kalliope May 14
You avoid me, and that's okay
I never see you in places where we used to spend the day

I avoided you, its not alright
No one wants a stranger in the sun who plays wifey only at night

I'll never hold you, and that *****
We could have had a beautiful life but I ran out of luck

Or maybe it was patience, I've never had enough
You're the only man to call me out and see right through the tough

And that was eerie, like you knew what I was all along,
A big surprise with big brown eyes,
Who eventually grew weary

That's what they all do, they tire of my games
Even when its truly love no one wants it at arms length
I've cried to the moon,
Searching how to drop this mindset
Carved you deep in my bones,  hoping to see you again
Kalliope May 8
I'll miss the softness
While I settle back into rage
Ill return to stand-offish,
At least you're free from my cage
My mind is a prison,
Fit for no one but me,
I thought you could live in,
But here you go,
Take the key
Kalliope Apr 23
Im sobbing these tears, but I'm crying to who?
It's this same stupid story playing out in my room
I never fall first, but I will always love harder
No picket fences, I'm a karmic debt paying daughter
Now the greater question is are you the lesson,
             Or is it me?
The chemistry was there, and witty conversation but soon it was replaced with frequent aggravation,
And truth be told Im not sold that you even loved me at all
I think I was there, and I showed you I cared and you really wanted to be loved
Next page