The cut across my skin felt like a broken heart shattered across a million times.
Life is hard...
You just gotta do it.
Relapsed today. Feel like I have no worth
I sit in my room and I cry
They want me to say I am fine
I sit in my room and I cut
They want me to pretend I don't
I sit in my room and attempt sucide
They tell me its all for attention
Soon I won't be here to listen...
I cry nobody wants to know... life is ****
The slicing sting of the blade as it strokes my skin
Is not pain
From the raw bleeding within.
The draining drips of crimson as it drowns the floor
Is not unsettling
Compared the truest stomachache of all.
Sometimes I fear
I cannot tell the difference
Between feeling emotionally numb
And emotionally stable
Everybody has a voice inside
That whispers day and night
For the criminals it says
Destroy the evidence
Destroy the witness
Lest they should be done
For the pious it says
Do good to others
Do not harm others
Lest they make their own fun
She carves craters in her skin
hoping the light
she so desperately wants
will spill out.
there is moonlight
inside of her
to be set free
she can’t help but try
to reach it
I've had enough stupid games,
enough of your ******* lullabies
to sing me to sleep
when you know I lay awake staring
at my ceiling wondering
whether or not I should say '**** it'
and throw my life away,
or to say 'oh well' and suffer through
another miserable ******* day
where I have to see your face and know
that behind that smile
is a mother who
cares more for her cigarettes
than her daughters.
I'm not lending you another cent for your satisfaction.
I'm not going to nod my head along to your half-baked opinions.
I'm not going to let you walk through my life,
ruining every precious thing I have left.
because the secondhand smoke has already destroyed my body,
your words have already destroyed my mind.
I won't let the shattered pieces be picked up and swallowed like the pills that you love shoving down your ashen throat.
Maybe it wasn't enough
The cry for help,
The lines we write,
The tears we she'd
Maybe we weren't loud enough
When we drop our smiles for an instance
And let the despracy for a saviour shine instead
Maybe we're trying to hard
To be the novels we read
And look for our cliché story in our lives
Or maybe we're dreaming too hard
To think the world has a saviour for each of us
A will and a way
Because I'm tired of waiting
Maybe it wasn't enough
For my mere existence to guarantee a saviour
Maybe I wasn't enough.
My heart is beating so fast
Fast like fast
Faster then fast
The urge is to self harm
My heart beated fast
My mind acted fast
Officially relapsed after being clean for so many months and its all because i feel low I feel anxious I feel worthless