Icy cold spiky pain
Fear of love or loss
Live until you hurt again
Broken happy thoughts

Once was pink Then was red
Now it's black it's gone
Fear is like an infrared
And Invisible love

I want you to see this
There's a façade kind of bliss
That in my mind's eye
It sure felt like heaven's kiss.

You want me to see this
Play a part in your petty dreams
Let myself get lost in this shame abyss
Be seduced by your trysts.

If you wanted me to see this
How come we were a miss
And how come your new love's still
An old reminisce
Of memories and an angry's cat
Hiss?

I wanted you to see this
Maybe in the end
We were simply meant
To be each other's deadly miss.

I am standing at the precipice of a new beginning
the first step is encased in concrete
the landscape is green mountains and laughing streams
Behind me is cloudy and ablaze with rage
ahead it seems as if I would be happy here
Why is it so hard to make that first step
I am frightened
They appear, take my hands and my feet are free and  floating
"Come play with us " They cry
"Where were you?" I exclaim  "I needed you!"
"We were here all along,
holding your hands,
walking with you,
waiting for you to be ready " they respond.
"Why didn't I SEE you?." I respond.
"You just had to alter your course and remove your sight from the fires of rage"

I’m angry
At everything and myself
I don’t wanna do this **** anymore
This being anything and everything that is involved with being alive
It’s too hard and I give up
I’ve watched so many people just skate by
I continue to watch people do nothing
And have everything
While I do everything
And have nothing
I am bitter
I am hurt
I am mad that no one was there for me
That no one can take care of me
Besides me
I am outraged at my upbringing
Because it’s led me here
It’s brought me over five years of therapy
Countless tears
A level of pain to parenting
And
I’ve lost so much time
Time spent in agony just because I’m alive
So yeah
I’m ******* angry
And trying to be more mindful
Isn’t going to help today

F* you social media
for all the times you claimed to be safe,
when in fact you were the opposite
for all the little girls you made believe they would never be enough
for all the boys you told they weren't allowed to be vulnerable
for putting people on pedestals,
when they are just the same as everyone else
for anyone who you brought more pain than joy
for anyone who's life was consumed by you
for anyone who took their life because of you
for anyone who feels alone, because you
made them feel disconnected from others
for anyone who's become addicted to your lies
f*you for ruining lives and manipulating minds
for everything you've ever done to corrupt
this world,
and especially for thinking it's ok