Listen... I said I was

•F• alling Apart
•I• nsecure
•N• eglected
•E• mpty

So if I say that I'm •FINE•.... I'm •FINE•... I'm not lying to you...
Its just some are too ****** to realize what the word •FINE• actually means...
Emm 2d
Give me all your pretences,
'cause i have no defences

Put me on a pedestal,
'cause i like being the fake royal

All the time,...
... all the time...
That's how i'm fine,
all these times...

Hide away your prejudices,
i've thrown all my dices

Let me know again how it feels to fly...
for i don't care if it's just your lie...
Heavy, my chest feels
But not my heart
Its light as lettuce
So light in fact
That it races through these minutes
Like the wind makes it beat
I feel weighed down and weightless
This anxiety is engulfing
But it's based in insecurity
So in reality
I've got more control than I feel I do
You were with them late and
I am fully aware that my mind
Is regularly the dramatic type that
Likes to believe you two are
Making up and hugging it out
Which would be great actually
If my brain didn't tell me you were also
Falling in love
It's so silly to say aloud
And if I would just trust in your love and your word
And believe in my own worth
Then my screenplay writing mind
Wouldn't feel so suffocating
And my chest and my heart
Could fall back into automatic existence
And maybe I could sleep
I know it's irrational. I'm working on addressing my own insecurities, because that's where jealousy comes from, and there's nothing you could tell me to make me feel better. I've got to do this myself.
It's 3 am, when you try to seek for help.
It's 3 am, when you've tears in your eyes.
It's 3 am, when all the memories hit you.
It's 3 am, when you regret the goodbyes.

It's 3 am, when the darkness scares you.
It's 3 am, when you've noises in your head.
It's 3 am, when you miss everyone at once.
It's 3 am, when you wish you were dead.

It's 3 am, when you can't save yourself.
It's 3 am, when you get hurt a little more.
It's 3 am, when you just hate yourself.
It's 3 am, when you only feel insecure.

It's 3 am, when you love lyrics more, not song.
It's 3 am, when you only know what's wrong.
It's 3 am, when you are alone, no one to care.  
It's 3 am, when you ask if you belong somewhere?


---Poetry by Paras.
shamori Jan 9
Attached for life
A reminder of tough times

Not to remind me of tougher times, but to remind me that I’m still in tough times



Can I cover up how I feel with how I feel?

Just to look down and feel ashamed of how ashamed I am?


Will you look at my skin and wonder of a story? Ask for my motivation? Or look at my skin and make up a story and wonder on my lack of motivation?


I feel good about my designs. They define me.
I hate these designs. Because they don’t define me.



With pain comes pleasure. A sign of living.
With that pleasure comes numb and a longing for living.
Thighs
That crater in thin air
Cheeks
That are bigger than the sun
Eyes
Like almonds that turn to crescents when I smile
A smile
That is dorky and nerdy
Something to be ashamed of
Lips
Too thin like pizza dough that has a hole ripped through it
Height
Can't reach the top shelf where my parents keep the sugar  
There are so many girls
Who are prettier
Skinnier
With thighs that don't smother you when I get on top of you
Or cheeks that don't totally eclipse their eyes
Smiles that are straight and white
Too busy being beautiful to even think about being dorky
I don't know why I feel this way  
But suddenly
Since you, I don’t
its strange
Faith Jan 9
They see a girl, who
Is confident in herself
But really, she's scared
Jayde Jan 7
Ever had depression so bad you forget who you are
No identity
No self assurance
Who am i
I never knew who i was
Always played the chameleon from the time i was 10
Ever had anxiety so bad you're petrified with fear
Somone left my sight and i thought they'd die
Someone would'nt respond and i thought i was hated
I leave my house the worse will happen
Always questioning everying
Always left wondering
Always asking what if
Always looking over my shoulder
Always expecting a blow that might not even come
Always looking for escape routes
Always moving
Always changing
Always tired
Someone tell me a story
So I can forget
Someone tell me a story
So i can be free
Someone tell me a story
So i can escape
Someone tell me a story
So i can get away
Someone tell me a story
So i can get a happy ending
Someone tell me a story
Someone tell me a story
Someone tell me a story
Someone please set me free
Baylee Kaye Jan 6
so please just tell me that you love me
even if you don’t really mean it
just trick my heart into believing you
say it so that I may rest, tonight
that’s all I ask of you
Max Jan 3
I always want to say sorry,
Even when it's not my fault.
Because that's how it used to be,
That I'm getting blamed for everything.
So I'm sorry for being here at all.

I still try to do everything right.
I have to prove I can,
I just have to show that it wasn't always my fault.
I have to prove them wrong, even if I'll never see them again.
I just have to prove them wrong by proving my right.
I just can't fail, like the failure they think I am.
Something I had to write.
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