sch 9h

You sat upon your throne
made up of empty cigarette cartons and crushed beer cans.
You thought yourself so mighty and entitled.
Yet, you didn't see it coming, did you?
I left the pathetic kingdom you ruled and enslaved me in.
Like a shadow of death, I gave you one last kiss
and everything as you knew it came









This goes back to my life a few years ago when I was still a bit more naive than I am now.
sch 10h

just hearing your name
starves my lungs of oxygen
and shatters my heart

Haiku-ish.  Am I cheating by tying the title into the first/last line of the poem? -.-
V 11h

I know how it sounds
When your eyes do abound
On these pages of mine
Where you read my thoughts cry
Since I say I'm okay
Though ruled by Anxiety
A Monarchy of despair
But I'd hate to reside where
Emotions lead down a path
Where I cry and then laugh
I promise that I'm all good
Things are just as they should
Karma's taken its toll
On my sin bearing soul
And I'm calm with my fate
But I do fücking hate
When the people around me
Are falling and drowning
And I can't do a thing.

Isabel 13h

the outside,
is my breathing as loud to everyone else as it is to me?
is everyone else hearing my heartbeat?
oh my GOD they totally are
that's why they're staring
they know you can't cope
you failed,
go straight to home. do not pass go. do not collect $200.
can't win them all.
home, comfort, familiarity.
i'll try again another day.

deery 13h

I am drowning in anxiety please this is my cry for help

Cheeks, nose, forehead
Dread is settled in my stomach
Can't help but fear the worst
As my sanity starts to plumet
Into the dark depths of misty blue

Cheek, nose, forehead
A pattern starts to form
I repetedly wash away the invisible dirt
My hope is now forlorn
As I reach for the soap again

Cheeks, nose, forehead
My face starts to tingle
I turn to switch the shower off
But instead my minds familiar jingle
Starts again to play

Cheeks, nose, forehead
I'm tired and panicked now
I feel my face blush
As raw skin starts to show
Forver stuck waiting for a loophole....

Playing around with a new kinda style. Any comments are much appreciated! :). Skye
John AD 21h

Help me again from this pain,
My heartbeat is beating so fast and
I don't want to feel this way again
My body is shaking and nobody came
No love from others , and my heart always get some stain.

I feel I was in the penitentiary,
Trapped inside a cell,can't find a way to set me free,
I'm alive but I feel I'm dead
Every second of my life I felt I was running in a thread
Those books I read , Still hauntin' my head ,
The Knowledge I received , Is it good or bad?

This panic attacks , Solution is Xanax
Very addictive , but Helps me to relax.
Is this the same way to begin with ?
Or choose "To be Alive or Dead?"

Panic Attack

Every time I think it's going to be different,
Every time I'm shown that to hope is bloody dangerous.
Every time I try to rise, the world watches me fall.
Every time I feel more and more unlovable.
Every time.

Every time I face rejection I spiral off,
Every time I envy the fish under the bridge,
Every time I envy the monkeys hanging from trees,
Every time I envy a bored bolt with a hole in it's head.

Every time I turn to my lucid waking dreams for escape,
Every time I find none.
Every time I turn to face the grimy ceiling for solace,
Every time he breaths it disgusts me.
Every time a drop of the water that gives me life burns my throat,
Every time I numb myself.
Every time I degrade myself.
Every time I hurt myself.

Every time I crash to the bottom of my seemingly endless chasm of sadness,
Every time I am broken by the fall,
Every time I wallow at the bottom,
Every time I scream far removed from everyone and everything,
Every time I hear only the echo reverberating off the walls,
Every time I feel as though it is hopeless.

Every time I am born anew,
Every time the clouds clear and fade,
Every time I see the sun again,
Every time I think how selfish self pity is,
Every time I feel the love of all things course through me,
Every time I find my purpose again.

Every time I dare to hope again,
Every time I know it's a mistake,
Every time I take the risk.

The moster underneath my bed,
She comes to me nightly,
Gently plants her arcane kiss of fear,
Upon my pacing heart -
Her name is anxiety; she's with me again.
Oh why won't she just leave me alone?
I beg her to go, but instead -
She sentences my mind, to the darkest punishment.
An ongoing cycle of panic -
She consumes my rationality
She paralyses me, with terror.
I'm trapped in my own body
I lay restless.
Leave me alone.
Please go away.
Please go away anxiety.
She doesn't listen to my pleading.
What if you die in your sleep?
Did you google these symptoms yet?
She asks,
You're dying.

i feel exposed and
sweaty, knife of doubt and shame
twists cruelly

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