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I don't put myself out there
Into the sea of society
Fear gets the best of me
My insecurities make me think
That something's wrong with me
I fail to make a connection
to the world outside of me

I feel like I'm drowning
When you talk to me
My mind oversimplifies
Your body language
My eyes don't meet yours
In fear you might read  
The book beyond
The first word

I guess I wouldn’t mind
Falling deep
Within my thoughts
But I’m tormented
By the void inside

I’ve been thinking about you
So I’m hanging on
So what’s this new feeling
My spirit’s gone
But my heart is not
Never leave my side
Never leave my love
carole 3d
War
War.
One syllable.
Three letters.
Such a simple word.

Why then does it have such an immense power?
The power to break people.
The power to eradicate it all.

It rips children from their parents,
Tears lovers from each others’ arms.
It divides people,
Destroys countries.

It kills most,
And those who escape it
Are left with a fate far worse than death:
An eternity of sorrow,
Of agonizing memories
And restless nights
Wondering what could have been.

It is filthy, corrupted and tainted.
Tainted with the blood of the fallen,
The tears of the survivors,
And the money of those in power.

War.
One syllable,
Three letters,
Just a word,
Yet the deadliest weapon of them all
I don't think anybody knows how stressed i am, how ******* tired i am, is it because i'm to good at hiding it or is that i'm so obviously stressed and tired that nobody wants to hear about it

I used to have a friend a best friend that understood and listened and helped me through my day, i guess i just got too annoying, i constantly burned all of my energy to stop them from ending their life with a dull razor blade i never really realized how much damage i was doing to myself until this year when a lot of things went wrong

Now i have a significant someone and I've been constantly thinking about how badly i want to press my lips to her, but this beast in my head just won't let me, everytime i put it to sleep it wakes up within a week ready to ruin everything again

I don't think people understand why i am who i am, im that one kid who always acts like an idiot the one kid who looks so perfect but is scarred on the inside from trying to escape himself, the kid who wears “edgy clothing” and nobody wants to talk to, the kid who apparently looks good but is to much of an outcast for anyone to like him, the kid who tries his hardest to better himself but no longer has the motivation, i'm the kid that relies on his girlfriend to get him up in the morning, to tell him to live for her, to never give up

I don't deserve to have someone like her im my life if anything she needs it more than me
She always tries to motivate me but i never listen cause my ego is to big to listen to someone else's thoughts, i wish i listened to her i wish i wasn't so ******* difficult

She doesn't deserve to deal with how needy and how ignorant i am i just want to be with her forever and never worry about if she's losing interest in me again, but this all comes around to what happened in my childhood that made me this way

Ever since i was 6 years old...6!  i was the really annoying kid who couldn't focus who couldn't learn unless it was in a certain way, the kid who was so annoying that almost every lunch he would sit alone and eat waiting for someone to come sit with him, the kid that only wanted to have a lot of friends but couldn't even talk to the other kids without being told to go away cause I was too annoying

Every day I'm smiling a fake smile because i'm actually trying to stop thinking about what she's doing at this moment, thinking about if she's okay,  if she made it home okay, thinking about if I'm good enough for her, if i said something i shouldn't have and made her angry

Sometimes I wish i could live a life without all of my problems and just enjoy being in the present and not the past i know a lot of people are just going to say that all of this is worth pushing through but if it's worth it then why does it stop me from getting anything done
This is more of a spoken word poem but i wanted to share it anyways
Desire 5d
a nd  with my   e yes
i  widely   o pen,
I see yo u
like consonants
needing their vowels,
I need Y ou
V. Word
-
Originally written/posted: 20181121
Sanny 5d
The words of not being good enough.
Yet you can't leave me alone.
A game without rules.
So who's winning?
Who's winning when the both of us are losing?
c Nov 29
I look in the mirror at a person I don’t recognize anymore. Prodding and pulling at my skin just to make sure this is who I am I only cake on so much makeup because this is the me I don’t want them to see.

So they don’t

They don’t see me and time is just running away and what if I can’t make them see me before time is up?

It’s not that I’m invisible, I know they can hear me and they tell me that really, I’m fine, and I’ve never been an issue but then why do I feel so out of place in my own day to day routines?

In fact nothing is routine anymore I have no constants. Eating, sleeping, it’s all ireggular and sometimes I can’t remember doing any of it at all.

I have pictures filling my camera roll of happiness in a moment that I can’t bring back, why do I keep them for happy if all they do is make me sad?

The clock is ticking and I can hear it but they can hear me so I can’t scream, they don’t see me but I’m tearing at my mouth trying to get out the words that I really want them to hear.

And they tell me, that it’s okay to be yourself.

But only around certain people. Because society wants you to have curves but never in the wrong places. They want you to feel free to speak your mind as long as it’s something that they want to hear. If you keep your secrets to yourself you’re hiding something and if you share them you’re being too open.

But time is passing.

I need time, I need routine, and I need to remember happy so that I don’t fall in love with sad because far too many do.
So I will scream into the wind where they cannot hear me.
And paste on my paper facade.
Someday, they will see me.
I’m not giving up on time.
I tried to make this in the form of slam poetry, which I’ve never really done before. Any feedback is appreciated! :)
Shofi Ahmed Jun 19
What can the words
tell of love?
Until it's found
heart to heart.
Shofi Ahmed Nov 23
Just in a single word
try penning first
and foremost on mankind.
It can only be 'love'!
rom Nov 22
patawad sa mahal kong akala ko'y lumisan na
sa paggunaw ng kaisipan sa mga bagay na pinipilit nitong takbuhan
ngunit bumubulong ang puso gamit ang lirikong tayo lang ang nakaiintindi –
mababalikan pa ba ang ritmong ito
o mananatili na lamang sa kasalukuyang pintig?
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