She's tired of being a doll.
She no longer wants to be locked in a drawer with her pale pink dainty lips pressed against the ceiling of her rose-petal scented nightmare chamber.
She's old news now, Julie is the one to they all dote over, her hair's a shade lighter and glossier and her little boots are a more brilliant pink. Julie's dress isn't frayed like Arleta's, the flowers on the new doll's dress are more detailed and eye-catching.
Julie's perfumed with lemon and jasmine, Arleta used to smell of roses plucked at dawn after rain, now the once-sweet scent is toxic and she can't escape it.
She met a boy-doll once; Marr.. he looked at her as if she was a ship freshly painted and awaiting her maiden voyage over apple-green seas. Her tiny china heart had flipped that day and then never beat with such lovestruck ferosity again.
He'd fallen from a 3rd storey window and had been too broken to be mended, just like her worn little doll-heart.
But if she could dance like the young girls in the village do, in the buttercup fields.. if she could share carrot cake as dusk approached across the river and could sleep the night away in a hot air balloon!
If her legs could run and leap, and her delicate lips could kiss a charming boy..
She holds hope in her chest and crosses her porcelain fingers, maybe luck will fall into her lonely life like a jewel in a hail-storm.

My soul is drowning with sorrow and
I can't seem to swim...

To end this you must have strength,
Time and patience must have no length;
As this will be a peculiar time,
Where love and hate start to rhyme,

Every voice will deceive sound,
With another bed day; inbound,
Forget the light hitting your eyes,
Smiles and laughter only things to try,

Take note of the past,
Wish this time by; so fast,
The shadows will soon attract,
The light of another persons contact.

As the cigarette burns my lips
It reminds me of your kiss
So passionate
So strong
Yet so loving
All in one
I'll miss your arms
I'll miss your heart
But I guess this is our fresh start
I'll show you I can change
I'll show you my new ways
You're my one and only
You're my all and all
And one day
I hope we can fall
Back into eachothers arms
The sound of your voice
So soothing
And warm
Something I need to hear
Something I sit here and mourn
I hope you enjoy
All life has to offer
Just know the doors always open
And it's always an offer.

In waiting for you
You made my dream come true
Alone would no longer be my label
Happy forever would be our fable
With every rotation of the earth,I would be loved
Answered prayers floating high above
Till you decimated our joined glory
Once upon a time was no longer our story
I loved you more and more everyday
Stilling my voice and I had so much to say
Pain was your weapon and you had much skill
Articulating my misery increases what I feel
Please Lord stop my suffering so I can sleep
And may they feel the fullness of torture so deep
Knowing they held something true from above
And now they have lost,nevermore to feel love

You hang around clowns,
Wondering why your life looks
Like it's a circus.

The emptiness
It swallows me whole
I'm left in the darkness
With nothing except my soul

All alone with my sorrow
Sinking deeper and deeper
But wait for tomorrow
I'll be much weaker

My demons will haunt me
With my horrible past
Leaving me with nobody
How long will I last?

Will I just cry
Or finally give in and cut?
Hoping I die
And get out of this rut

I can't stay any longer
It gets harder everyday
I'll never get stronger
Suicide is the best way.