such an unfathomable concept.
what lingers in
the blackness remains
so many secrets
hiding in the
because out of sight
out of mind,
if somebody cares
all that’s needed
is a candle
all of those secrets,
who just bothers
to figure out
if YOU just try.
such an unfathomable concept,
and yet i think
i know it better
You pulled me close and I smelled leather,
the scent of rain clinging and weaving
through you like ivy. Your breath rustled
like the trees we climbed together, laughing
and carefree. My eyes were blue as the dead
sea and yours only looked at me. We
sat in those branches, warm and safe.
Sometimes in the dark the smell of morning
dew and fresh leather hits me and I feel
a melancholy too intense to understand.
I hear your breath next to me. My eyes
used to be blue as the dead sea, yours
are a distant memory. Now I sit in these
branches, cold and alone, wondering
when you will come home to me.
O sweet melancholia
Why do you taunt me so?
Why do you look for me in still waters?
When I am willing to be happier than ever
The escapism from your clutches
Never seems to materialize
The ache that dwells within a sombre mind
A heart that is pure
You cannot haunt the fearless for long
I will turn my back on you
One day I will exculpate your haunting moods
And in that day...
..... I shall be vindicated ~
There will be freedom from you
Do you think she’ll witness my downfall
When she goes to hell?
Do you think she’ll feel the anguish of empathy?
Do you think she’ll find a way to introspect
Instead of projecting?
That would cause her suffering.
I won’t be grouped in with fools
Who discharge ressentiment
With dreams of those who’ve wronged them
Suffering more than they have...
But I know it must discharge somewhere.
What constrains me?
The stunted superego
Suffocates the id
Holds it down and kicks it;
A child beaten
It doesn’t want to hurt its family
Until the day it’s realized
That it can’t.
And then, its spirit broken
Lays dormant, a pressure cooker
Tells itself it doesn’t want to rise
To cope with having fallen.
It stays silent and still long after left
Retreated so far into itself
That now it fails to recognize
The threat is gone –
The abuse goes on
Long beyond it’s ended.
She told me she loved my poetry,
That I inspired her to write
About her father.
I should have seen it coming then
It was no different from before -
I let myself be used again
I have no excuse.
its too loud
too loud too loud too loud
the room is filled with sound
and focusing on that
just makes the thoughts of you
become more vibrant.
why don't we laugh like that anymore?
why don't we sit and talk like that anymore?
why don't we share memories anymore?
where are you? its too loud.
Saw you in my dream
We were laughing in pure glee
Woke up so happy