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Kee Dec 2019
If I don’t let it out soon
All my troubles and worries
All my trials and tribulations
If I can’t open up my mouth soon
I will wither
I will shrivel up like a beautiful rose
That’s been depleted of its nutrients
I shed my last tear and haven’t watered myself since
If I don’t let it out soon
I will be still addicted to something
That isn’t even good for me
Addicted to someone
That isn’t even good for me
But is everything I could ever need
But if that’s so
Then why am I still withering?
If I can’t open my mouth soon
I will never be able to change
“I just want happiness”
Is all I have to say
How can I have that when I won’t let myself
Trapping myself in this box
Was not intended
Now I’m too comfortable
In a place I don’t even want
Bounded
Cursed
Stuck
All things that I feel every second of the day
So
If I don’t let it out soon
I’m going to be just like you
And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person
But I can’t see myself being happy like this anymore
I love you so much
I never would’ve thought leaving you would be the only way to break free
From everything holding me back
So
If I can’t open my mouth soon
I’ll just be the next stereotypical black female
And I can’t have that
  Nov 2019 Kee
Joyce Joadiyce
I'm an alien up from where
I came to Earth to look there
From my ufo left took off the ground
They left me Here Here I am
Kee Jun 2019
They won’t always make you smile
A lot of the times they’ll make you cry
You’ll hate everything about them
Until there’s nothing left of them for you to want to look at
You despise them
Until you remember that
Nothing had never been in their favor
But neither had yours
Love had not bloomed for them in the way they wanted
And it wilted quickly
Except it didn’t come back again next spring
A love unrequited I suppose
Nonetheless it hurt
Family that couldn’t be family
Friends that could never be kind
But just diggers instead
Users instead
Liars instead
Drug addicts instead
Pretending to live instead
Grasping onto dear life itself
That’s what had been pounded into them
The realization that
No matter what
It just wasn’t enough
So this hurt, fragile being
Could only do one last thing
Be numb
To not feel anything
Instead of everything
To make it all go away
That person had given up any chances of ever being whole
So
You can’t always hold a grudge over someone who’s had too many scars
To even want to make anything right in this world anymore
You can’t blame them for being hurt
For wanting to end it
But you can
Tell them it’s selfish
That you love them
That drugs aren’t the only ones who care about them
And someone,
You,
want to see them smile again
Kee Apr 2019
As the violinist brushes the bow against the instrument
She takes in a deep breath
She takes in those painful memories
And she exhales
They’re gone
Hitting her in flashes
She has to overcome the darkness that stands in the way of her light
She is torn
Because even if she wants to leave her past
She still holds some of those memories clutched tight to her thumping heart
Even the ones that haunt her the most
You see
She is split down the middle
Her mind is saying go
But her body won’t even tilt
She’s frozen stuck in a life
That she had wept about in nightmares
She was strong
But she couldn’t wrap her mind around living like this anymore
She got the message when her eyes would no longer shine
And she had to force a smile on to her face
She just wanted to be normal again
She wanted her violin to bring her joy
Once more
It had been her only sanctuary
The only place she called home
Kee Dec 2018
I miss that look in your eyes
The one you used to always give me
I miss the way we talked
Because no one else understood me as you did
We were meant to be together
But jealousy and lies got in the way
And even our own friends couldn't stand how happy we were
It made them sick
And they couldn't take it anymore
So they had to destroy
But they weren't the only reasons why
The flame we had eventually died
Because you couldn’t seem to keep your head ******* on
And I wasn’t able to loosen mines at all
And what was inseparable was now separated
And distanced
No longer knowing one another
Like we did
Ten years ago
When high school was our everything
But the bills became to be too much
And the deaths were too heavy
The scares took a toll
And the miscarriage is what ended it all
You see
We let everything get between
And there is no more us
But we both sit on the phone
Thumb over our contacts
Too prideful to press call
But tired of weeping and being alone
We know that no one else could ever
Fill the holes from shots that we blew at one another
Forever you are mine
As I am yours
This is my love letter to you
My soulmate,
My love,
Everything.
Kee Dec 2018
i pretend that it doesn't hurt
that tears dont drip down my cheeks too
that i dont hold my face in my hands
and weep while i wish for a better life
i hurt too
but i'd never let you know
when my world falls
i keep it to myself
because no one can save me from the destruction inside of me
and i smile
because i know that it's easier to say 'im fine'
instead of 'i want to die'
i hurt too
but i'd never let you know
how much my my mom just wants me to be okay
yet she doesnt have a clue
of how much her words slice through my skin
and make me bleed
apart of my chaos too
and i smile
because no one can save me from the destruction inside of me
from the ache in my heart
from the gun in my hand
im the only person that handle my monsters
and im honestly losing this war
but
i'd
never
let
you
know
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