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Hours of sub-conscious-ness

Between the fight and now

These days, I always wake

Before the sun

Before you

And remember the fight-

"Well, MAYBE
Ifyouweren'tsuchafuckingbitch
Spoiledbratcunt
Ihateyou
Bitc­h
*****
*****
FuckyouIhateyou"

I look over

Knowing

When you wake, you won't remember

It always takes a while

The sun will make you squint

And you will smile

Because, really-

"Good morning, love!
Iloveyou
Youmeantheworldtome
You'resobeautiful
Kissme,love
­Love
Love
Love
IthinkI'llsleepalittlelonger"

The dog whines at the door

As you try to close your eyes

Feed me, walk me, pet me

I will let him whine

It's the only revenge I have

You finally sigh

"I'll get it, love"

You stand out of bed

And I notice

You have morning wood
At your core is a glowing stone
That hums, radiates warmth
And asks that you ******* LIVE

That's where I come in

How do I ask
To rip it from your chest
KALI MAAAAA
So that you can know it's real?
Should I just reach in? No,
Not without permission

May I, then?
I'll do it slowly, gently,
One body-numbing **** at a time
Two forceful heartbeats at a time
Three sweet, loaded words at a time
Until you hear the hum

Now then, let us **** ourselves
Gradually, so the living tastes better
Fill your lungs, my veins, our stomachs
Handle me with carelessness
Until you feel the warmth

There! You barely noticed!
The stone rests in my palm
Your blood drips silently to my feet
The hole in your chest fills the room
This is why I came here

Terror, panic, fright, confusion,
As I calmly turn away
For now, you'll think you can't go on
But remember! Yesterday, it wasn't even there
Now, you grieve the blessed *****
So I won't call you pathetic out loud

This is why I came here
To show you how the stone
In its brightness, song, and warmth
Will bring you to the center of all good
Then tear you down to **** with its absence

You should learn these things, my dear
For you taught me well
When you took mine for yourself
Without even knowing what it was
Kada Oct 5
It all started with him
Many say that I was a fool, but they didn't know the love we shared
Every girl wanted him but I seemed to be his lucky choice
With one kiss of his lips, my life came crashing down.

I was the girl that nobody noticed but to him, I was his world
My life had no meaning but with him, I had a purpose
Chosen by the gods I say and handpicked by the devil they sneer
Blinded by love, everyone had seen what he had done that I found no fault in.

Does your first love have to be your worst?
Is what everyone says about him true?
High school relationships don't have to burn up in flames, do they?

Everything seemed perfect until my eyes became clear of what he was doing and reality hit me.
He would text me at strange times in the night and never want to hang out during the day
At that moment, I realized that there was someone else taking up his time.

I thought love wasn't more than hugs and kisses, but clearly, I was wrong
My love for him began to fade as I watched him pull another
girl, like myself, into his trap
I guess I should warn her but she'll be blinded like I was and tune everyone out.

I was too naive to notice the trap he was building around me
Why did he leave me?
Maybe it was because I wouldn't budge with what he wanted to take away from me.

Hot anger boiled inside of me, growing to seek revenge
How could he do this to me, I trusted him with everything.

So many questions boggled my mind and I wondered, are high school relationships just to see who comes out unhurt
or to play with each other's feelings
I just want this all to end.

I hope I never see him again, and fade into the crowd.

Once again.

                                                                                          -Kada
He'll never find nobody better than me.
Pagan Paul Oct 4
.
Quiet! Shhh!
Can you hear it?
The animals are talking.
No, they are panicking.
Can you smell it?
The Forest is on fire.
My Forest is aflame!

I run, following nostrils singed with heat,
against the tide of the fleeing fauna.
Reaching the blaze I see....
eight of them.
My anger rises and erupts.
'STOP!' I bellow. They turn and draw swords.
My eyes narrow and a look of pure disdain unfolds.

I continue.
'I am Rook, Lord of the Forest Kingdom.
How dare you, enter my domain with no permission
and reek havoc on my Forest'.

A step is taken, toward me.
The eyes of a fighter glower, at me.
The point of a sword raises, threatening me.

I punish.
'For your transgressions and your destruction
you shall stand as stones, for eternity,
and as a warning to others'.

A scream pierces the air as a foot,
then another, compresses to rock.
The rest join the chorus, agony,
as each become statues,
twisted and contorted as
the Ancient Oaks they had destroyed.

My Oaks.
This is my Anger.
Would you care to see my Love?


© Pagan Paul (2018)
.
Sparkyxox Sep 25
Beauty flared from petals of blood.
Hypnotising passionate love.
Blushing with heat fiery.
Beauty deceiving, darkness swallow.
Thorns sharp, deep scars.
Prickling with betrayal.
Howling with pain.
Revenge. Fury.
Beauty
Roses are known for its beauty, but it's thorns are sharp. Beauty can be deceiving.
astiani hayn Sep 24
I'm nothing but a silenced laugh,
I breath fire smells a fantasy bougainville,
I speak cursed sounds a soothing lullaby,
Honey, I'm your foe, and you know me as amigo,
I'm bleeding of lies, betrayal–a vicious sinner,
And this skin-deep will last until you realize,
I'm a ****** retaliation dressed in devotion.
Hunter Sep 20
Come sit in this chair
Tell me how life isn't fair
Now all you do is pray on your knees
As life has hidden you in a forest of trees
You want to burn it all to the ground
Let the hate take over your soul
Because you can't take the sound
Of your life not becoming whole
You take the power
Now that life has left you sour
Look what you have done
You let revenge go on it's run
You let it consume you
Now there is nothing you can do
All because of the pain
And all the lack of fame
You stop to think
everything went by in a blink
You realize your mistake
Now you are awake
Let go
Before you have to owe
Kati Sep 18
I know
I know I handeld things the wrong way
I know I ****** up
and I knew it all along

and yes I could have changed it
and I wanted to
but in this very second I didn´t knew how

I know I am not a good person
and maybe I will never be
I know I hurt you
and I am sorry

I will try to change
I know it won´t change the past
and it will never repear it

but I have to change
because I know I am bad
I know the ugliness inside

and I wish I wouldn´t see it
I don´t know why
maybe to protect myself
maybe because hate is easier than the pain
maybe I wanna hurt others the way I was hurt
maybe because I just couldn´t believe
believe someone would actually love me

which doesn´t make it anymore right
I am sorry
for everything

This is my apology
my realisation
my truth

I will always regret it
I just want you to know that.
I believe that often we write about the things that hurt us or that are important to us, but lets face reality nobody is perfect and neither am I. I wanted ro show that, to admit that. Because I made wrong decisions before, but I decided that I have to change, for the better for myself. I hope the world can forgive me, I hope you can.
Tati Sep 16
Friday, I went to church
The pastor gave his speech about loving your enemy
The flashbacks came back
I try so hard to suppress them and make them go away
But like weeds, they interrupt your beautiful garden at the worst of times
I see myself at the doorway
As she kissed the man I love
Rage fills me until my vision is a deep scarlet
Like blood
How I would love to see her covered in it
But I know this isn’t what *** wants
“Forgiveness is the answer” says the tiny angel next to me
His pale face under his golden curls is so mesmerizingly beautiful it could melt me and make me do anything he wanted
Except this
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, “I can’t”
He looks at me. Filled with disappointment.
What would feel better?
The look of despair on her face when I destroy everything she’s ever cared about? Or
The look of happiness on his face when I tell the angel i will forgive
I feel guilt
Since
I chose the first option
Maddie M Sep 10
I know all your devils
                                          I know them all by name.
        
                                                  ­                                        love is a villain
                                                                ­                         we are one in the
                                                                ­                          same.

*
Je connais tous tes diables
                                          Je les connais tous par leur nom.
        
                                                                                          l'amour est un méchant
                                                                                         nous sommes un dans le
                                                                                          même.
I know what hurts you and that messes with your head. I can be your hero and your villain all at the same time.
a snippet of my next poem called "illusion."
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