It is easy to lie
About how much I cry
I barely even try
It is kind of scary
That it is so easy
Who else lies?
Who else secretly cries?
How much do they try?
I can lie
And so can everyone else
We let life fly by
As we constantly lie
Maybe meeting you was fate,
But loving you was too late,
Being loved by you it just a dream,
But I think we aren't destined so it seems,
I thought we can be together,
I thought that you'll be mine forever,
I thought you could become my only,
But now you just made me lonely,
Wish i could wash away the pain,
All the heartaches that still remain,
No matter how much tears I cry,
It still won't fill up your feelings so dry,
I still keep on wishing we can be together,
Still want to spend life with you forever,
But you leave me out here and the cold,
Leave me to choke on the tears and pain,
How can this broken heart mend,
When all you did is just pretend,
My shattered heart can never be healed,
For my dream of you will just remain UNFULFILLED.
enjoying a timeless measure
of how many
to place at tea when-
a brief pause.
'take your time"
"you are doing fine"
laugh off to the apron juice
spilling from the edge of your
Male quote is home end quote
"I missed you"
"i missed you more"
Mother is calling from below yet
...playing subtleness within comfort confinement
Playing with dolls in real life
imagining your own
Just like this
Subtracting memories that
Erasing stories told before us
History books are really
barred in code
sown in strings
Detangling the meaning of your
Lets play house.
perfection for portraits
taken for granted
the story that unfolds whilst opening
Never shut out but
I don't know.
It really Is just
Makebelieving silent failures
Porn pig snot angered filled idolatry
I worshipp you
hating my life
hating why I grew
up to be so
My dollhouse, I remember,
Let me be porcelain
With an eye hanging out to
reveal what had already been pulled
yet I must
For what? So I may wear the apron?
Fuck breaking down beneath our
"You gave the ending away!"
"you ruined it!"
...I can hear them both laughing
I think it's time to pause and
meet my mother maker.
Don't try and sow me up this time.
I want to stay broken.
To my only LOVE
I will stop falling for you
Will hide this feeling
Because we never work out
You were my lover and my friend
I do not want to lose
Let me stand right next to you
Baby, I am afraid to be alone and forgotten
Our LOVE STORY, its over.
To my only LOVE
Embrace me, Push me
I fucked up a million times and so did you
I am sorry so forgive me
Let spend time together
I will pretend not to feel
I will stop falling.
I will stop loving my only LOVE.
And YOU are my ONLY LOVE.
I am feeling great
Can’t get this smile
off my face
The sun is shining bright
There is a light inside my eyes
But once you look behind
This imaginary life
You can see
It’s all just a lie
I’m not feeling great
I am filled with hate
There’s no longer a light
In these dead eyes
"Ano ba ang benefit ng pagpapanggap?"
Naranasan mo na bang magpanggap na okay ka lang? na gusto mo rin ang gusto ng iba? O di kaya kapag tinanong ka ng kaklase mo kung nagreview ka at ang sagot mo'y " oo, nag-aral na ako sa ating pagsusulit." pero hindi pa naman pala?
Lahat na tayo naranasang magpanggap. Mapa-bigat mang bagay o hindi. Mapa seryosong sitwasyon man o playtime lang. Lahat tayo ay naranasan na iyan.
Ako, may nakilala akong tao. Siguro buong buhay na niya ang pinagpanggapan niya. Nakakapagtaka kung bakit niya nakuhang gawin ang lahat ng iyon.
"Alam mo ba may ganito kami" sabi ng kaibigan niya.
"Kami naman may ganito." Ang tugon niya. Pero kung tatanungin mo kung totoo lahat ng ito, iiling na lamang ito sa isip niya.
Bakit kaya? Kailangan ba ng bawat tao ng mamahaling gamit upang matanggap ng tao? Kailangan pa bang magpanggap ng tulad mo para masabing marami ang magmamahal sa akin kung sasabihin ko ang ganito?
Nakakagaan ba ng loob?
Diba hindi naman.
Ano bang nakukuha natin sa pagpanggap? Hindi ba wala naman? walang magandang natatanggap? Mas lalo lang nating napalalala ang kasinungalingang sinabi natin nung una. You can't cover up a lie forever. It will eat you alive unless you're heartless.
The days go by
My face stretched out in a smile
Cheeks hurting from the effort.
Sitting next to people
Talking about life’s daily struggles
Just another show.
Laughing as jokes are told
Saying hello as aquaintances pass
Trying to make it through the day.
The days go by
The same struggle of pretending to be okay
When it’s empty inside.
The greatest joy is when my dog kisses my face
Pushing through the pain of unreturned messages
Calling back memories of similar days from years ago.
When your best friend would rather talk to your mom
And another friend just hangs up ‘cause she doesn’t want to talk anymore
Or a friend who never responds even though he texted first.
It’s getting easier and easier to retreat into a fantasy world
Why should I try when the results are always the same
No matter what I change, it’s always the same.
I cling to the hope of a future
One where there are people who truly care
Where people truly believe in me.
It seems so far away
But I cling to that dream obsessively,
The chant repeats in my mind, day after day,
One day will come,
One day you will be free!
You don't like me, I get that
You don't wanna stand by me, I get that
You don't love me, I get that too
I totally get everything you're doing to me
But you're pretending not to know me,
there is where I lose my mind.