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Whether or not they take their life,
I’m half heartless to all despise.
Martyrdom mine two times of strife,
All souls have a rising demise.
I dare not seek to have revenge,
Knowing my eyes do not lie, see?
What words I say could make you cringe,
Why I stigmatized upon thee?
Chance after chance, year after year,
Always open to soon forgive.
What more to say no longer tear,
Turn to apologize, outlive…
What left half heartless to amend,
When no longer heart to pretend…
TS Feb 23
Being talked down to -
That never happened.

Being taken advantage of -
That isn't true.

Being stood up -
That's dramatic.

Being violated -
That's just plain wrong.

Being broken -
That's pathetic.


You put finger quotes around my word. The word I used to open up to you.

But oh... I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you majored in my trauma enough to tell me my own history.



-t.s.
Jeremy Betts Feb 15
I've already cried these tears, no need to cry them again
Wasted too many years behind pretend perfection
Faced my fears, even call a few of them friend
And no, they are not pretend
Attempted to flip enemies to allies, no more than a means to an end
But a good decision it was not, because the I I thought I was went missin'
Forced to change the base mission
Another unwanted end
A new forced new beginnin'
Ready or not, do we have to go again?
What are they odds the next one will be a win?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 26
I'm not a good lover, no good at hand in hand
Never not been exposed, still I pretend
The real me casually breaks free,
What do I do then?
No suggestion comes in
It's what goes around then comes around again and again,
When will it end?

Nobody knows...
...I let no one in so no one knows the situation


I'm not a good adult, I'm not a good friend
Never not been exposed, why do I still pretend
The real me awkwardly breaks free,
What do I do then?
I suggest hide the specimen within
It goes around then comes around again and again,
Is it going to end?

Nobody knows...
...search and rescue called off for no reason

I'm not a good man, I'm not a righteous person
Never not been exposed, I've given up pretendin'
The real me aggressively breaks free,
What do I do then?
Didn't we call each other friend?
What goes 'round, right 'round comes right 'round 'round again and again,
It's just not gonna end

Nobody knows...

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 22
Even Doc Holliday had one friend
I don't even have one someone who'd pretend
Maybe it's my fault, I am noticing a common thread
But what do I even matter, what does it even matter in the end?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 10
What do you do when you don't feel safe in your own head?
Uncomfortable in your own skin, afraid of the demons under your bed
And all the monsters that have been locked away out back in the woodshed
Waiting for the day I said would never come is now right around the bend
It'll be here any moment, why pretend?
I worry more about what was left unsaid
Cautious of the where we're being misled to, not the when
I try not to fear what I can not comprehend
Really couldn't tell you if this is a life I'd recommend
Can't possibly know until the end
So come around again and ask me then

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 10
We are all hiding something aren't we?
Let's be fair
From the moment we wake and look in that mirror
We rush to change what we first see there
All we do is spin our little lies
**** in that gut,
Color that hair,
Twist off that wedding ring,
Pretend to not care
And why not?
What's the penalty?
What are the consequences, really?
All is forgiven when you start usin' the phrase
"I'm only human"
But what if the cruel hand of fate twists you into something different then what you've been?
Into that undesirable other
Who, if anyone, will forgive you then?

©2024
Eslam Dabank Nov 2023
For the first time ever; I truly do not care
    if you, him, or her wished me a happy birthday;
But, I wouldn’t mind if you did. Though it is fair;
    I am one of the lesser friends; I am a boring play;

A play so fake; I am of made up characters,
    Sometimes I am the flattering villain in smiles,
And at times I am a copy of the Westerners,
    At others, I am gullible, yet I never am;

I pretend to be; but I am miles away,
    For interesting I am not; so funny at least be,
Says my brain; for maybe they will remember,
    That my birthday was today; It is an endless plea:

I always remember and prepare pages of wishes,
    For almost everyone, but all I get is 4 days late
One liners sent out of guilt; to stop the guilty itches,
    Not out of care, love, or from genuine friendly state;

I deserve it; for again; I am merely a boring play;
   A paradoxical headache of weird introverts,
And annoying extroverts; I barely even weigh,
    To a normal person; I am made of endless alerts;

Alerted, focused, attentive; all on your acceptance;
    I am what I feel you want me to be; a nice man,
A racist gangster, a diplomatic figure; I am resemblance,
    I resemble everything I see in you and scan;

I am stardust that was never meant to shine,
    I am a thread; intertwined as I feel pleases,
I am a road with temporary signs; I am grapes;
    For you I squeeze myself into juice; or ferment

Into wine; I am a fake play where you write scripts,
    I submit, because all I cared about is receiving,
A birthday wish. On that one day in the entire year;
     I do not want even want gifts; because when you don't,

I feel like I am ceasing to exist; slowly deceasing
    from everything that we were: teenagers ambitious,
WhatsApp stickers collectors, School runaways,
    Kids deceiving; it feels like I am dead; for the dead

Do not receive birthday wishes; I feel peerless;
    A white beans *** lidless, a body complete limbless,
A walking sickness, a moving flesh in stillness,
    unpardoned by my faux and obvious silliness.
  
I do not care about not getting birthday wishes;
         But I cannot not overthink what it means.
Zack Ripley Oct 2023
I won't pretend I can keep every promise I make. And I know good intentions can only take you so far. But I promise...it's OK if you need to let go
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