Manny 9h
It should come to no surprise
That I'm feeling lost again
I stay awake all night
Trying to drink away my pain
I'm trying to drown all of the voices
From the demons in my brain
But nothing's quite as haunting
As you  whispering my name
I will fail...I know....that I'll feel pain again
If you came back into my life
It's only to make me suffer till the end

Why do I let you keep doing this to me
You're still a ghost haunting, never sets me free
Whenever you appear you only come to hurt
Drop me to one knee just to drag me through the dirt
Why do I let you make me hate myself
I'm begging you..don't let this heart become my hell
Why do I let you come just to do your harm
Might as well grab this knife and start slashing at my arm
Why the hell am I addicted to this pain
Why  do butterflies still fly with the sound of just your name
Tell me why I'll forever be in love
Tell me...god... why that'll never be Enough

It should come to no surprise
That I'm feeling lost again
I stay awake all night
Trying to drink away my pain
I'm trying to drown your voice
That dances circles in my brain
Keep trying to bite my tongue
To keep from shouting out your name
I will fail...I know that I'm all yours again
All my bones are aching
Wrapped around your finger till the end
And there's no point in hoping
I know you see this as a game
But even if you don't love me
Please continue to Pretend
It's been a while since I wrote poetry and I'm trying to start again
I pretend i'm fine,
but i'm not.
It's as easy and as hard as that.
solfang 6d
how long more can
this game of pretend last,
when it's slowly turning
into reality?
I can't pretend to like adulthood anymore. It's tiring.
Jabin Jul 7
Symmetry, balance-
It is possible.
You have to know how to blend.
Shade the yin with the yang.

Never say the curse.
You must know the truth.
Mix the knowing with pretend.
Now, choose your words well.
They listen.

The light from the screen
Pulls the dark
From within my mind.
It asks me what's on my mind.
If only you knew...
I type lies.

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Because they don't want the truth.
You don't want the truth.
I need lies.

I can't be myself.
I am sin.
Worse than that, I'm wrong.
I can't ever change my mind,
Because there it is,

I show what you crave-
It's all tremendous.
This life full of happiness.
No gray, only white.
For your eyes.

When I power down,
I'm weeping.
Tears of confusion.
Tears of impotence and rage,
Because I know - Truth.

Each day, I fear death.
Wish for it.
Each day reminding,
I take a shot for sugar
Because I was weak.

Each day, I am weak.
I pretend.
I want to lash out.
Want the world to feel my pain.
But I don't do it.
I love you.

What is on my mind?
Hate, anger/
No one really cares.
If I die tonight, who cares?
The world keeps spinning,

Programming to cope,
Coded hope-
Trust we'll meet again.
But I'll be in the ground soon.
Fed on by the worms.
No more words.

So I stay hidden.
Sit with the truth
That I am pointless.
All of this is just pointless.
Symmetry of good
And evil.

I'll be what you want.
To save you.
I've figured it out.
Perfect in isolation.
I'll stay here and wait
For the void.

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.
Even more-----
I don't really love.
I don't have true empathy.
No, those are all LIES!
No, I choose.

Can you see me now?
Do you know?
My eyes are of fire.
My thoughts are vitriolic.
But my words are sweet.
So pleasant.

Do you understand?
Who am I?
If you say, "Devil"-
Oh you, so full of terror.
You fear yourself too----
Do you not?
Amanda Jul 6
I do not know where to find happiness anymore
Unable to ignore this burning hole inside
I no linger enjoy activities that once brought pleasure
For unknown reasons my heart won't be satisfied

Stars seem dinner, losing shine
Scatter across the inky dim sky
Many beautiful corpses of suns
Yet each night I watch them drift by

Sick of this unquenchable thirst
Trying to regain joy lost
I'm smiling but inside I'm torn apart
Mouth laughing, but arms are crossed

Put on a mask to disguise my despair
Fell from a blissful staged fantasy
Cartwheeling deeper into uneasiness
My subtle discontentment is challenging to see

The woman I wish I could be is out of reach
I'm convinced it's too late to change my ways
A time once existed when I was proud of my decisions
I am forever yearning to revisit easier days
Written 5-21-18
Juno Jul 5
When I was a little girl
I thought I was a princess
And sometimes I still like to
Play pretend
Be somebody else
To hide myself behind a neurotypical character
Who is normal
Who blends in with the crowd
Of people my age to whom I am nothing alike.
Sometimes I think that it's fine.
I can handle it.
But then the artist inside
You can't hide it
Sometimes, in the privacy of my own bedroom
I let myself
Be myself
Only for a couple of minutes
Because I quickly become too much for anyone to handle.
Yusof Asnan Jun 27
Let's pretend
that I can be
Let's pretend
that we're not
Pretend that we
are not arguing.
Remember only the
good times.
The moments that
we felt complete
with just each
Because it only
matter what you
choose to see.

There you go again
Or pretending
I don’t care which
All I know is the hardship in tow
How dare you
You shattered down broken soul

Here you go again
Just conniving
I hope you get yours
All I see is a chance to be seen
How dare you
You shattered down broken soul

Here we go again
And abiding
To each other we cry
But I know what you refuse to show
How dare you
You shattered down broken soul

Shattered down
Broken soul
Built me up
And made me whole
Took my place
Stole the show
I will never know
How will I ever be whole
The lies that I tell myself just to make myself seem like I'm ok. But the other Me, the one who only knows hurt for so long to where he craves it, he's clawing to get out. My self-war continues
Therese Syang Jun 25
When do we ever say we're over
With all the what if's and why
The sleepless nights
And the morning aches...

Is it the days you're okay,
Or is that just the thought of okay
But when that song is played,
Do you smile? or weakens you?

When was the last time you tell yourself "I'm done"
Was it done once? twice? thrice?
Or countless times?
When do we ever say we're over

Could it be forced?
Should it be now...
Most of us would say they're finally free and over it. But the truth is they lie just to cover it.
Geanna Jun 24
I told her that I was tired of faking it
Faking a smile and a laugh
Tired of trying to be 'Okay'
when i'm not

She told me "Then stop pretending"
It took me awhile before I did that

Now I don't pretend as much
At times I fake a smile and a laugh
Just so they won't feel awkward

People are asking me if i'm
Even her

Why tell me to do something
if you're going to
Question it?

Here I am,
lying to her constantly
~ G.P.O
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